So I was reading Jack Barnes fics of yours and there so cutešš„ŗš, but in one of them when heās an adult you wrote that his mom (the reader) died when he was young and I know this is angsty but like what happen on the mission and after, how was Bucky able to tell him?
This is what Anon is referring to.
Wanted to try something a little different here. I think it turned out okay. Hopefully you like it.
I love/hate that I got this request, by the way! Ugh! Just know that this will be ANGSTY AF! You have been warned...
His heart had been hammering hard; it wouldnāt have surprised him if everyone was able to hear it.
āPlease donāt do this,ā Bucky pleaded with a shuddering breath.Ā āDonāt make me do this. Take me, please. Do it to me.ā
āIām not a cruel man,ā Zemo replied with, circling the bound couple like a vulture would do to its dying prey. āIf I were, all three of you would already be dead. Now, I may not be a good man, but I still have some humanity left in me. Itās why Iām letting you make a choice. So make it now.ā
Almost simultaneously, you and Bucky glanced towards the other room where your son was patiently waiting with the television on. Seemingly unaware of what was going on. The two of you then shared a look with one another. Buckyās eyes kept their pleading expression, the tears behind them wanting to come out even more upon realizing what he had to do.
āHeās already made it,ā you uttered, still staring at him.
You had always been the better of the two of you. Ā He never prepared himself for something like this the way you had. It didnāt matter about the line of work you were both in or what promises were made. He was never ready to say goodbye...
Bucky was now standing in front of your trembling figure.You were using what was left of your strength to give him that comforting smile he had come to know and love. To let him know that you were okay with this. That everything was going to be okay.
You were gone. One of the few people who truly knew him and accepted his flaws and weaknesses was ripped away from him. Leaving him with an empty hole in his chest. You provided half of the foundation for the family, if not, the majority. How was he supposed to survive without you?
Reminding himself of all this brought back the agony and turmoil he suffered within, resulting in him holding his baby boy tighter in his arms.
As the good parents you were, you wanted to do your best to stay calm in front of Jack.You didnāt want to alarm him once the decision was made. But being the intuitive boy he was, he figured something was going on that wasnāt quite right.
āMama, are we going home now?ā He asked you.
You crouched down so you were at eye level with him. You gave him your best smile and brushed his hair back. The quick thought of him being due for a haircut came and went in a flash.
āIn a little bit, sweetheart,ā you said, covering up your breaking voice with a throat clearing. āYou just go wait outside, okay?ā
You stared into those eyes that were the same as yours. You studied each detail of his angelic face. You didnāt think youād ever be able to look at him enough.
āGive me a big hug,ā you croaked softly.
You drew Jack into your arms and held him tight. His arms wrapped themselves around your neck and he rested his head against your shoulder. You reveled in the way his tiny fingers began to gently stroke the back of your neck. You enjoyed the sensation it brought until it was stopped once he heard a strange noise that made him pick his head up and stare at you, confused.
āAre you okay, Mama?ā
You didnāt realize you were crying. But you remained smiling and kept looking at him. Feeling like you could do just that forever.
āYes, baby, Iām fine,ā you assured him, sniffling. āI just -- I just love you so much.ā
It ached his old heart to hear Jackās small voice call out for his mother in his sleep. Poor kid. It was one thing for Bucky to not be able to cope with your death, but his precious boy shouldnāt be going through something like this. It was what was keeping him motivated to keep going. He needed to stay strong for him.
āJust keep looking at me, baby,ā he told you.
You locked your eyes on his, doing your best to keep all your focus on him and not the gun pressed to the side of your head.Ā
āItās gonna be okay, Buck,ā
Despite his loss, he still needed to keep moving forward. He needed to be strong. If not for you or himself, then for Jack. He had to care for him as you would. If that meant taking over both parental roles, he was more than willing to do so.
After all, it was what you would have wanted.
