#dea rambles

I started messing with it on Wednesday and Thursday, and made an End-of-the-Week spread for this week.  On Monday I think I’m going to do daily spreads until the end of classes, so basically through July.  Then I’m thankfully on vacation for a few weeks until I go back to the US and have to work.  

It’s messy but I don’t mind.  I decided that the Everything Notebook method wasn’t working for me.  It’s a great method, but I do need a bit more order.  I was trying to use those post-it tab sticker things, but they kept on falling off.  I’m still going to try to use them to help be even more organized (and I already have a bunch...), but I’m primarily using the index of my bullet journal to keep track of things now.

On a research front, I have...not come all that much further.  Bad Dea!  I do want to share a quote that ended one of the articles with you all, though.

“But at least I can now take comfort from the fact that if, as an archaeologist, I am uttering a historical heresy, then at least I shall have company when I am metaphorically roasted alive or burnt at the stake."

As much as I love the girls and Polytrix, I think that Rumi is incomplete after the war. The girls accept her, right, but she still remembers their initial fear, confusion...disgust.

Of course, Mira and Zoey wasn't wrong in the slightest. They had seen the most feral part of her - and were scared. They had drawn their weapons in her in self-protection and it killed them internally but Rumi doesn't know about it.

Rumi is awesome at hiding her feelings, and she won't let the girls see that she feels incomplete, but she does.

Why? Because the only person who actually ever embraced her as a whole was not around.

Jinu had protected her when he found out about her demon side. He had supported her through and through about her marks, even advising her to tell the girls.

Of course, it was a plan to manipulate her as it all began, but it turned into something genuine real quick.

Rumi had felt loved.

And even in that scene where Rumi confronts Jinu, when she goes completely feral, Jinu doesn't flinches. He just tells her the truth. Now this may seem as a bad point but it's also very significant. Jinu never asked Rumi to be fake and he didn't backtrace at her being feral.

And then he sacrificed himself for her, and for the Honmoon. I think Rumi would never get over it, never feel complete without him.

Guys, I have a theory.

I know we somewhat just ignore the villain's POV sometimes and stuff....

Do memories alone shape who you are?

What would your old self think of you?