#de:code:aug20

@rkwon new world dance lessons

it’s kind of wild how many dances they’re expected to know. seonho never really put into thought how many original choreographies they;d end up learning. how many that idols end up learning in general. he thought he was learning a lot of dances while being a trainee, but one or two a month is nothing to this. picking up a dance for nearly every song in an album-- as well; as needing to keep up with the ones learned from other comebacks. he can’t help but wonder how in the heck do his sunbae manage. thinking of luxe... they’ve been active for a while, and have had a lot of comebacks. 

it’s worrisome for seonho who isn’t a strong dancer. though he has gotten better in the time he’s been a trainee and an idol. he knows he isn’t one of the better dancers of the group. never mind that he lacks confidence. so dance practice like this is exhausting to him. frustrating for him as he struggles to fully get the dance down. 

august 10th, 2020: first comeback mini album photoshoot. 

TW BODY IMAGE, WEIGHT TALK

they haven’t had many opportunities to do modelling thus far, but won’s already decided he’s rather fond of it. perhaps he’d be more fond if the day didn’t feel a hundred hours long, especially with the dread of what he knows is to come in two days when they film the music video, but regardless, this is exciting — dare he say it, fun. 

@rklino dance practice recording

“hyung! quick!” 

today was a another full day of activities. they’re comeback was truly just around the corner as they were suddenly all so busy-- a big difference from the previous months where it felt like time has been dragging on. now they have to learn new dances, and seonho can recall that they have a lot scheduled to record this month too. but today! today is the day theyre going to be recording the dance practice videos for their new title song and another new track. 

one of the songs, new world, which they would be recording as well today, seonho really likes. that being said, he likes pretty much every song in the album--this album is so awesome. he’s excited to get to perform it. 

@rkbyunbaek august 17th

it’s always a little weird when members in the group have different schedules than everyone else. seonho has grown so use to all of them being together that when someone has a solo gig it’s almost a little sad to him. to think the group is split off in their own paths. sure, that being said he’s more than proud of his hyungs who have achieved schedules of their own. going out and making more of a name for themselves outside of just the group. he honestly, really is proud. 

but there is just moments where he misses them. like today. he knows baekhyun hyung has his own schedule--radio dj for idol radio, so super cool--and while it’s only one that that baekhyun isn’t around, seonho still feels a little like something is missing.

thus, even after his own schedule ( typical training ) ends for the day and he finds himself back in the dorms, seonho is restless. he has had the stream for idol radio pulled up on his phone until it was over--the show runs at night and so he was able to catch the end of it and his hyung is so cool. now he was just lounging on the couch in the main room, scrolling through his phone. most everyone else was either settled down for the night and getting to it, leaving only seonho really awake and waiting for their leader. 

for whatever reason, he just wasn’t able to go to bed before baekhyun got back. 

mingyu was beginning to like having his picture taken. once, he felt kind of awkward in front of a camera. now, however, it was beginning to feel much more natural. that was a comforting thing for him given how much he desired to be an actor. if he can pose in front of a camera and feel comfortable, then hopefully that would lead him to the next step.

3:30 am. it was an ungodly hour and mingyu didn’t know why he was being punished like this. it took every ounce of energy in his body to force himself out of bed, especially since it was so warm and comfortable. luckily, he didn’t have to put much effort into his appearance since he was going to be heading straight to get his hair and make up done. basically, all he had to do was be present, or at least physically so. his brain was about a thousand miles away, still practically in a dream world. it was too early for all of this.

he didn't expect to have to react to a music video so soon after filming it, but hongjoong thinks that maybe it won't be so bad.  then again, this time they are reacting to can you feel it.  gorilla he could handle, but can you feel it?? that's another monster in its own right.

as much as he likes the song itself, hongjoong still has some reservations about the music video.  from the beginning, he questioned what seemed like a random concept  -  why a marching band? why the dark and light versions of themselves? it just seemed too much like a mishmash of concepts that didn't paint a clear picture, and even now he's not really sure what to make of it.  but he also knows that criticizing the music video so openly on air instead of acting like it was such a cool take on the song may get him into trouble.  not to mention that he didn't want to hurt the feelings of the staffers who worked hard to make the mv successfully in the first place because he just ... didn't like whatever concept they decided to choose.

it's pretty unfortunate, but that's what acting is for, isn't it? at the very least, even if he doesn't understand the concept, maybe it's just because he's not the smartest person in the room.  maybe they can read into the nuances of the music video that he couldn't.

today, he finds himself alone in a studio.  thankfully, that's the way he wanted it.  

his focus was to work on the choreography for new world on his own  -  though it may have been better in a group setting to master the positioning, what hongjoong wanted to work on was not his footwork but rather, the sharpness of the movements.  it's a lot more direct and pointed, and it required precision that would look off if even a single one of the members wasn't in line with the rest.  he didn't want to be that person, especially not as a member of the dance line.

it's almost too funny.  hongjoong once dreamt of being on a stage to stand out as a child, and now here he is, practicing his dance precision so much in order not to stand out at all.  but that's the problem with a child's dreams.  they're often a lot more complicated than it seems, and require a lot more work than what a child thinks they might; they don't think about the work that goes into it at all.  he certainly didn't think he'd even be here without his brother, and yet he's the only one who managed to grasp their dream bull by the horns and ride as it kicked and screamed its fury.  he's still not sure why he hasn't quite gotten over that fact yet.

when he reaches for his water bottle, this time he drops it.  hongjoong watches as it spills over, making a puddle on the floor and he wonders why its so easy for a bottle to overturn, but he keeps biting his tongue.  sooner or later, people are going to see that he's unhappy.