#dayeightytwo

Hmm, not much to tell again. 

It’s the weekend and I slept for about 6 hours last night. I talked to C on the phone last night about N’s latest shenanigans at work and tried to make my lesson plans for Open Classes next week. But my heart just wasn’t in it, so I went to bed. 

Some more of my groceries arrived this morning and C offered to collect the rest for me while I went to the hospital to do more effusion therapy for my chest infection. 

I got home around noon and C was still in my apartment after kindly packing away my frozen foods for me. We chatted for a bit and then she went home to rest. I ordered some lunch and took a nap. 

I woke up around 16:30 and tried to look for more schools to apply to. But honestly, it’s not going as well as I would’ve hoped. Most of my back-up schools have fallen through and I’m just hoping that something really amazing comes along somehow. 

I guess that’s usually how good things happen in my life: at the very last second. That was the case with X too. I was all set to start low-key crushing out on P’s pulmonologist and instead, I fell head over heels in love with X a few weeks later. 

Of course, now we can query if that really was a good thing after all...

The point is, I probably have to wait a bit before I see the fruits of my labour, which sucks. I’m too result-oriented sometimes. 

So I gave up on job-hunting and ordered fried chicken for dinner and a chocolate muffin from Starbucks. Then I swept the floors, did the dishes, folded my washing and took out the garbage. 

And yet, I felt depressed all day. 

Maybe it’s just because I’ve been sick for a few days and cut off from other people. The latter was my choice though because the air quality’s been really bad in my city recently, so I didn’t want to go outside unless it was absolutely necessary. I figured it was better to rest at home for as long as possible before going back to work on Monday. 

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Maybe it’s just that time of the year when you start reflecting on everything you managed to accomplish and suddenly realising that it wasn’t a whole lot. 

I hope I have something good to show for this truly awful year. 

On the plus side, this sudden time on my hands afforded me an opportunity to modify one of my old fanfictions. So I’m gonna do some more of that and hopefully get lost in the story before going to sleep. 

It’s taking time getting used to the idea of being alone again.