#dauverney

Nisha hated Christmas.

Most people were surprised when they heard that. She got a lot of “but everyone likes Christmas!” or “Jeez, what did Christmas ever do to you?” from astonished wannabe well-wishers. Lately she’d taken to telling people her dog died the morning of, or if they were especially annoying she’d upgrade the death from a car accident to a drunken Santa on a rampage. Tragedy tended to make people back off and feel embarrassed they’d ever asked.

So Yeah. Christmas. Nisha. Mixed about as well as hot chocolate and motor oil. 

Though the deluge of holiday crap pissed her off, up until lately she’d been able to ignore it pretty good through years of practice. Avoid malls and promenades. Order most things online. Stick to the single classic rock radio station in her truck that had yet to betray her strict no-Christmas music ban.

But due to some recent changes she was about ready to bit the head off the next festive fanatic that entered her crosshairs.

Like most things that annoyed her, it all started with Jack. He used to dislike Christmas right alongside her. A regular Scrooge she could commiserate with, who would groan and roll his eyes whenever one of the thousands of holiday standards infected even quasi-neutral zones like liquor stores or the DMV. They spent nights others might waste going caroling or decorating cookies instead drinking beer and having rough, secular sex. Their apartment stayed its sleek color palette of black and white and yellow without a trace of red or green infected its modern chic.

That was, until Rhys had popped into their lives.

Nisha had never been opposed to adding another partner to their duo. A third person had occasionally crossed into their relationship over the years, but usually Jack tired of them within a couple of weeks or the slight edge to the couple’s relationship put them off (and on occasion, sent them running for the door). The option had always been there, but no one had exactly fit the bill, up until a little middle manager in Jack’s company had caught the CEO’s wandering eye. It’d been around Valentines’ Day. Jack had called it fortuitous. Nisha thought he just wanted an extra present. But couple choice flirtations and a handful of dates with Nisha tagging along to make the nature of the relationship blatantly obvious to the dumbstruck young man had soon caught him hook, line and sinker. By June, he’d moved in with them.

Nisha didn’t hate Rhys. Not at all, really. It’d taken some getting used to, the fact that her boyfriend having a boyfriend meant she now had to deal with two, but she liked him. He was slender enough but thick in all the places Nisha liked, and though he was sweet he could give sass right back when Jack was being a little brat about something stupid.

But when Nisha had woken up on the first of November to find that the Halloween decor had been replaced by garlands and holly as the smell of vanilla-peppermint candles filled the air—she’d known there’d be trouble.  

Rhys wasn’t nearly as crazy about Christmas as some of the people Nisha had run into had been, but it was still enough to put her off just a little bit. The month had barely started and he’d already bought matching sweaters for the three of them and even Angel, and had roped Jack into doing such cloyingly festive shit as decorating ornaments, ice skating, and making a gingerbread house. Now thoroughly brainwashed, Jack had even bought Rhys tickets to the frikkin’ ballet so they could sit on their butts for two hours and watch people dance to the same music blared on every single commercial that she had to endure. Mercifully, Angel had had a swim meet that evening, so Nisha had been able to dodge that bullet, though Rhys had ended up humming the melodies in the shower the next morning and even Jack had mumbled along to the tune as he’d made his coffee.

They were so mushy with each other that it was small wonder to Nisha that they didn’t melt. They nuzzled their noses together over peppermint hot chocolate bobbing with snowflake marshmallows, blushing like kids on a cold winter’s day. It was like a fucking Hallmark card and Nisha’s head was practically spinning off her neck at Jack’s sudden holiday whiplash.

She and Jack almost never got presents for each other around Christmas, and if they did they were usually given with little if any mention of the holiday. Jack usually forgot to wrap his, and Nisha often just tossed it into a bag left over from past gifts. But when Rhys used Jack’s credit card and bought a tree that almost touched the top of the penthouse and proceeded to spend two hours decorating it with Angel, she knew that anything half-assed wouldn’t fly. And as much as Rhys’ Christmas shit annoyed her, she didn’t want to see the kid disappointed. It was like watching an abused kitty commercial. Nisha had a tough skin but even she wasn’t that cold-hearted.

So it was for Rhys’ sake—cute little festive parasite that he was—that she was braving the pinstriped den of horror itself. The mall, one week before Christmas Eve.

Jack’s wealth afforded them a nice place to live in a bougie neighborhood full of fancy boutiques, speciality foods, and high-priced knick-knacks, all of which were on full display in the shopping mall nearly the size of a small airport. Thanks to the acres of parking, she managed to find a space to squeeze her maroonn truck in without scraping the paint of the Mercedes Benz on her left.

The sight of so many cars circling the mall like sharks made her queasy. The wreaths hanging from every streetlamp seemed like signs screaming “Turn Back Now!” But the sound of the other car door opening sealed Nisha’s face as Angel popped out, bundled in an oversized cargo jacket with colorful reusable shopping bags already slung over her shoulder.

“You ready?” She piped up as she grabbed Nisha’s hand. The sheriff worried her lip before remembering she’d agreed to let Angel put some lipstick on her before they’d left. She cringed for a moment, then nodded.

“God. All right. Suppose we’re already here.”

Nisha only felt more dread as they walked towards the entrance to the mall, navigating the cars still fishing for a spot. There were already way too many people for her comfort level, most of them either yakking or screeching way too loud or looking like they might snap and kill someone if they didn’t get the latest game system for their warbling crotch spawn. She felt tense, hand Angel was holding jerking almost instinctively to where she usually kept her gun clipped as they entered through the sliding doors into the mall proper.

Naturally, the crowds inside were even worse.

“Oh god damn it, look at this shit,” Nisha groaned as she was hit with not only the sight of hundreds more stressed, obnoxious shoppers, but also an audible wall in the form of some sugar-pop cover of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas.” A song which, honestly? Kind of felt like an omen at this point.

“Ugh. Fuck me.”

“Dad would be mad if he knew you were swearing in front of me…” Angel said with a giggle.

“Yeah, well Jack can go suck eggs,” Nisha hissed, shaking her head. “It’s all because of him that I gotta do this anyway.”

“Hey c’mon, it’ll be nice. Rhys has been really cool to me this year and I really want to get him something special…” Angel smiled, and damn if the kid didn’t make Nisha melt a little bit. It was kind of why she’d brought her along, anyway. Would probably stop the sheriff from going completely fucking bonkers with the sheer Christmas overload she’d have to endure.

The mall’s main atrium was dominated by the biggest Christmas tree Nisha had ever seen—so big it had to be fake, plastic needles simply perfumed with pine scent—surrounded by boxed presents nearly half the height of the average adult and certainly bigger than most the kids squealing and trundling about. Twinkling lines of crystal and LED draped the trees branches, every inch fat with bight red ornaments bigger than Nisha’s head. Garish signs wished her a Happy Holidays while also advertising expensive Santa photo packages. She was just happy Angel was too old and Jack too cynical to fall for that kind of nonsense.

“So, uh…” The sheriff scratched her head, looking about. “Where do we go?”

Nisha hadn’t heard of half of these boutiques. Most of the clothing outside of her uniform was either old stuff or had been bought by Jack, and while he occasionally spoiled her with a fancy dress or jacket for date nights, typically he just gave her his credit card and told her to get whatever she wanted. Her wardrobe consisted mostly of pants and tops and accessories that, while nice, weren’t as pointlessly expensive as some of this stuff. She already had the status, the symbols were a little superfluous.

But Rhys got a kick out of having access to this fancy stuff he’d never been able to have before. Nisha remembered he almost cried when Jack gifted him a Rolex for his birthday. Kid had been little more than an ordinary Hyperion programmer when Jack had plucked him for his personal harem, and he still got a little starry-eyed in a way Nisha no longer did whenever Jack decided to shower him in designer gifts.

So she ended up following Angel’s more fashion-savvy lead, making sure not to lose the teen in the crowds as they squeezed their way into the mall’s least-busy Hugo Boss. Angel had brought along her own allowance, so Nisha let her buy a couple of pairs of socks for Rhys, which ended up rolled all nicely and packed in a little red box with a bow on top. Her own credit card picked up a navy cashmere scarf and a slim pair of leather gloves that’d look good on the kid’s long fingers.

Angel offered to carry the gives in her patterned cloth bag as they trundled off in the direction of the Crate & Barrel Nisha was sure you could land a plane in.

Jack had been bitching about a stand mixer ever since Rhys had confessed his favorite pie was lemon meringue over Thanksgiving dinner, so Nisha picked out the fancier model in the shiny red chrome and put it on hold so she wouldn’t have to lug the damn thing around all afternoon. The price tag had made her briefly reconsider—taking into account the likelihood that Jack would only use it once—but she pushed that out of her mind. As annoyed as the whole Christmas charade made her feel, there was a prickle of enjoyment deep inside at the idea of buying something she knew Jack had talked about. It made her feel a little sly as she added a maplewood rolling pin and a springform pie dish to her lover’s present haul.

They took a break from the crowds to sit on one of the many benches ringing one of the mall’s many decorative water features. Nisha slipped Angel a ten dollar bill and told her to get a waffle cone from one of the fancy ice cream kiosks. While she was gone Nisha darted away, coming back to sit in the same place with a nondescript little black bag next to her by the time Angel returned.

“What’s that?” Angel asked, pointing it out as she licked at the veritable mountain of strawberry-chamomile ice cream overloading the poor cone.

“Adult stuff. You wouldn’t wanna know.”

“I’m not so sure about that…”

“Kid it’s probably gonna go up Rhys’ butt, you definitely don’t wanna know.”

“Eww.” Angel pulled a face, trying to distract herself with the ice cream as Nisha perused the presents they’d already bought.

“Feels like…I dunno. Feels like there should be something more here.” Nisha hummed, bobbing her leg. “Christ. This is like a freaky kind of rush. No wonder all these people are subjecting themselves to this.” She gestured vaguely at the crowds milling about.  

“Any ideas, kid?”

Angel crunched into her waffle cone, chewing thoughtfully.

“Well,” she spoke from behind her hand, “how ‘bout we check out one of those fancy jewelry stores?”

Nisha hadn’t set foot in one of these places since she’d been little and dragged along by her mother. They’d always seemed a little too clean for her tastes, like a doctor’s office almost, with its pure white carpeting and sleek shiny cases and uniformed security.

She pursed her lips, wrapping her arms around herself as she took a cautious step towards the jewelry laid delicately out in the long glass displays. Angel bustled towards the earrings, leaving Nisha alone to browse something her boys might like. She had already started to dismiss the idea of getting them jewelry the moment she’d walked into the store, but to her surprise something almost immediately caught her eye.  

Right smack dab in the middle of the main case were were two pretty rings paired next to each other that practically took Nisha’s breath away. Silver, embedded with fine strands of diamond and that broke around the metal like sap bleeding from a tree. She wasn’t exactly a huge fan of jewelry, but damn.

She put her hands on the top of the glass, peering up close. The rings’ stones twinkled like the enticing little bastards they were. Fuck. Those would look damn good on her boyfriends’ fingers.

“Oooh, those are soooo cool!” Angel awed as she bobbed over from the earrings case, pointed at the pair of rings. Nisha nodded in agreement.

“No kidding. You think your dad and Rhysie would like ‘em?”

“Oh yeah. Rhys likes blue, and dad likes blue ‘cause Rhys likes blue.”

Angel tapped her hand.

“You should get one for yourself, too.”

Nisha snorted.

“C’mon, Ang. I’m buying stuff for the guys, not for me. Doesn’t buying yourself a Christmas present kind of defeat the whole purpose? Besides,” Nisha held out her hand, “silver doesn’t really look good on me. Gold, platinum, maybe, but silver? Nah.”

She bought the two rings before she could second-guess the purchase, watching as the jeweler lovingly placed them in a pair of delicate heart-shaped boxes. The little knowing smile on her red lips annoyed Nisha slightly as she took the gift bag from her hand, Angel quickly thanking their clerk as the sheriff tramped out of the store and back out into the hustle and bustle.  

When they returned home, Jack and Rhys were already there filling the house with the smell of baking cookies. Rhys giggle and shut his eyes when Angel shouted at them to look the other way, and when Jack didn’t do the same he covered his face with a palm dusted in flower. Nisha gathered the presents from Angel, letting her gossip with her father and Rhys about the mall as she went to go hide them in the furthers corner of their closet, underneath the suits in the way back that Jack never bothered to wear.

Cookie decorating seemed lame but as Nisha stripped down and sat on the couch in her boxers and a loose tank top, she still needled Jack to save her one before they ruined them all with frosting and sprinkles.

Christmas morning came quicker than Nisha had expected.

She and Jack had been in a dead sleep, her arm flung across his chest, when Rhys had bustled into their bedroom with small tray balancing three cups of coffee. Nisha had been irritable for a moment as she shook sleep from her eyes, but perked up at the sight and smell of coffee prepared just the way she liked it.

With enough caffeine now in his system Jack was able to trundle out of bed and whip together some apple cinnamon pancakes that drew Angel out of her bed and into the living room where piles of gifts now lay underneath their massive tree. The thing was decked head to do with enough ornaments to sink a small ship, and wrapped with so many lights that they reflected against the pure white walls like a stained glass window. Rhys welcomed Angel with a tight hug and a mug of mint tea to go along with the pancakes as they all took a seat on the couches and began to divvy up the gifts.

Each had a stocking to go along with their haul, ostensibly stuffed with gifts from “Santa” marked with handwriting that was obviously Jack’s—if the ham-fisted wrapping job didn’t already give that away. But they all played along, tongue in cheek as they thanked the man in red for giving them their favorite candies and little stocking-stuffers. Nisha was grateful for the kitschy trinkets, as it gave her and Rhys and Angel something to do as Jack tackled the pile of gifts given to him by servile stockholders and executives.

“Harris really thinks she can impress me with a frikkin’ Spiralizer? Do I look like a guy who makes his pasta out of zucchini? Instead of frikkin flour like a normal human?” Jack snorted as he tossed aside one box in favor of a more expensive-looking one. “Garcia’s got me, though. Cheese knives! Heck yes. We’re gonna have so many fancy cheese parties now, kiddo.”

“Are we?” Rhys looked up from where he was sniffing a tiny peppermint candle taken his stocking. Jack nodded yes and patted his shoulder.

“Dad, can we move onto the real presents now?” Angel moaned from the other end of the couch, the little LED lights she’d gotten from her stocking draped artfully about her shoulders. Jack relented with a sigh, setting his stack of employee gifts on the floor as he welcomed the ones they’d gotten for each other. Rhys insisted they let the youngest go first, much to Jack’s indignation. The bit of peppermint bark Rhys shoved in his mouth quieted him pretty quick.

Angel went just a starry-eyed as Nisha thought she would when she opened the huge, cutely packaged makeup palette she’d grabbed for her.

“So you weren’t getting something for Rhys!” She grinned knowingly. Rhys raised an eyebrow.

“Huh?”

“Don’t worry about it, kid,” Nisha snickered as she nudged Rhys with her elbow. “Go on, open yours.”

“Paisley!” Rhys exclaimed as soon as he lifted the scarf from the unwrapped box. “How did you guys know?”

“She’s seen your boxers, pumpkin,” Jack winked. Rhys’ face glowed with blush as he busied himself opening up the socks, gushing as he thanked Angel with a gentle hug.

Jack went apeshit over his stand mixer, immediately crowing about how he could finally make a delicate enough meringue worthy of Rhys’ palate. Nisha smiled into her coffee, feeling a touch of happiness inside her at the look on her boys’ faces. And they hadn’t even gotten to the crown jewels of her gifts.

Rhys of course, almost cried when he opened the ring boxes, covering his mouth with his hand as he looked at Nisha in shock. But weirdly enough, Jack had a small smirk on his face as he glanced down at his. He looked up at Angel, nodding in the direction of the tree.

“Princess. Why don’t you go ahead and grab that last gift?”

Nisha peered over, slightly confused to see Angel procuring a small box wrapped in shiny purple paper she hadn’t noticed before. She raised her eyebrows up at Jack and the teary Rhys, who was busy wiping his nose on his candy striped sleeve.

“Go on, Nish, open it up.” Jack encouraged as he took a sip from his coffee, watching his girlfriend over the rim. Jack’s smarmy, knowing look was usually kind of annoying, but right now it was kind of making her….excited to see what was in this little box.

She pulled the wrapping paper off with eager fingers, popping open the tiny velvet box to see a copy of the same ring she’d bought for her boyfriends. Except instead of silver, it was cast in rose gold and set with rows of amber stones and deep, purple tourmaline.

“Holy shit, you didn’t, how…how did you…?”

Jack jerked a thumb over to where Angel was wiggling on the couch, just barely able to contain her beaming smile.  

“This one practically dragged us to the mall to buy it for you at the eleventh hour. Took a bit of ‘convincing’ on my part to get it commissioned at the last second in colors you’d like a little more. Though for the record, babe, you look great in silver.”

“Oh, you little sneak,” Nisha wagged her finger at Angel, who merely giggled and tucked her legs up into her oversized sweater. Rhys shyly scooted up close to Nisha on the couch, hand cautiously closing around hers as he rested the other on the ring box.

“Um…may I?” Rhys flustered.

“Such a gentleman.” She winked at him and wiggled her digits. “Knock yourself out, sweetie.”

Rhys gratefully slid the ring onto her finger, his own twinkling in the myriad lights glowing on the Christmas tree.

“You know I’m probably gonna never wear this, right?” She turned to Jack, still letting Rhys hold onto her as she took her other boyfriend’s hand in hers.

Jack shrugged.

“We still wanted to get it for ya. Angel didn’t want you feeling left out.” Jack set his mug down on the table, leaning in to peck Nisha on the lips.

“I know all the Christmas crap isn’t really your thing, but we still wanted ya to know how we feel,” Jack confessed, scratching his belly underneath the fuzzy sweater Rhys had bought.

The sheriff’s face softened as she chuckled. Rhys practically purred as he snuggled up close to her, resting his cheek against her shoulder. Keeping her warm on both sides.

“I gotta…fuck…”

“Language, Nish.”

“Oh shut up, I was gonna say I’m starting to warm up to this whole Christmas thing. Maybe…”

She glanced from Jack and Angel to Rhys, the very kid who’d infected her whole life with festive cheer who was cuddling up to her with all the meek sincerity of a kitten. It was hard to feel much malice towards the holiday she otherwise resented when everyone was being so sweet to her.

Ugh. At this rate, she’d be tame by the time next Christmas rolled around.