For iheartmactavish’s prompt list: 11. “How can you not like dogs?” Merwin please!
Eggsy stood in their home office, mouth gaped open like a fish out of water, staring at his boyfriend of a year like he sprouted a second head. He’d heard some ridiculous things, plenty, but nothing could be more absurd than this.
And it’d come right from Merlin’s mouth without pause; Eggsy was disturbed.
“What do you mean?” He pressed. Merlin gazed up with the same unamused ‘I don’t have time for this, Galahad’ expression that had to be perfected from his time working with Harry for decades. “How can you not like dogs?” Eggsy followed with when Merlin didn’t answer. He simply quirked a brow, sending Eggsy’s anxiety through the roof. “You bloody train them!” He screeched.
Merlin shook his head. “The candidates train them. I merely present the canines, and occasionally have a hand in selection.” Eggsy couldn’t believe what he was hearing! His whole three years as a Kingsman, as a part of this agency, has been a sham!
Not to mention his year long relationship with Merlin, his boyfriend, who LIED to him!
“How could you lie to me!” Eggsy clutched JB like Merlin could take him away. “I thought you loved me!”
“I do love ye, lad. But that has nothing to do with the fact I prefer cats over dogs!” Merlin watched Eggsy pout. It was a cute pout, perhaps a little dramatic given the current conversation, but it made Merlin feel bad. He sighed, “I don’t HATE them, but they are not my first choice of pet.”
“Is this why JB isn’t allowed in the bed?”
“Yes and no.” Eggsy gasped. “Eggsy,” Merlin moaned. “He licks his own arse.”
“So, I don’t want his little tongue be the first thing that wakes me up!” Merlin exclaimed, exasperated. “We have a perfectly nice dog bed for him, why is that not enough?”
Eggsy squinted at him. “Luna gets on the bed.”
Merlin’s expression turned bland. “Tell me ye can train a cat to stay off furniture?”
He thought about that for a moment, Eggsy could barely teach JB to roll over and play dead. Sit and no were about all the little pug knew, his tiny brain could only take so much.
Poor one brain celled pup.
Eggsy huffed, annoyed, “She licks her arse, too!” Was the best answer he came up with.
“But she doesn’t lick my face afterwards, either.”
“You clean her piss and shit out of a box!”
“It’s contained and I don’t risk stepping in it if someone--” Merlin carefully eyed Eggsy, “--doesn’t pick it up.”
Eggsy shut his mouth, Merlin had him there. So he wasn’t as proficient about picking up JB’s poops every day! He bloody worked, too! He toed the carpet, eyes cast down and faux sniffled.
“Still can’t believe you don’t like dogs,” he went on to say, feeling like the small child he sounded like.
He heard Merlin’s chair scrape the plastic pad covering their hardwoods, didn’t wanna ruin the floor, before he stood in front of Eggsy. A thin finger slipped beneath his chin, beckoning his eyes to meet his. They were soft and kind, the hazel ringed with brown with flecks of gold in the iris; Eggsy never tired of gazing into them.
“It’s irrelevant if I prefer--” he stressed, “--them or not. What matters is they make ye happy, and that’s fine with me.”
Merlin leaned down, pressing soft, warm velvet lips to his. “Yeah,” he whispered against Eggsy’s lips.
