#dash:jojo

If you’d have been down for it? Then yeah, 100% why the hell not? As if I’d be able to find a better girl than you – and that’s saying a lot, because girls are awesome, but eh, you’re the best one I’ve found so far.

Please! If you were interested in girls even a little bit I’d wife you up in a heartbeat. I don’t exactly have any other best girls that I’m not related to, you know! But I also am the kind of person who should have enough sense to not fall for someone who has literally no chance of ever liking me back, so... yay me? I’m sure Wake appreciate us not being in love with each other, it certainly made their path easier.

Oh please, even if I did  ever say I hated you and went, I’m sure you’d follow after just to spite me. I will never be free! You’re engaged and I’m still getting this bullshit! It’s so rude! What, am I supposed to break up the wedding or something like that? Or am I just supposed to pine from a distance? Because both of those options sound awful.

Nuh uh, there’s only so many times that you can kick a guy in the heart before you break it for good, Joj! Maybe it’s because I haven’t done some big public re-proposal for Karmen or something. I thought about proposing by shooting a ring on an arrow towards a tree she’s sitting under reading but it would be my shit luck if I accidentally murdered my fiance in the name of being romantic, so... pass. And hey, you totally seem like the kind of girl who’d be great at breaking up weddings! You’re super aggressive, it would be easy! Not that I’m telling you to do it but you’ve so got it in you.

So you weren’t planning on bringing me back? Ouch! I thought you liked me!

I was gonna try! Just, you know, don’t have a success rate to consult here to inspire confidence, that’s all.

If you’re not good at it when it matters, you’re not good at it period, sorry not sorry! But hey, at least you got lucky. I guess I’d copy your face. Or your body. Or your talent. Or your social prowess. There, that ought to be enough to keep you from outright asking me to compliment you again for a long time.

Okay, false. That would be like saying if I panicked and bombed an archery contest that I wasn’t good at it the rest of the time -- yeah, it sucks that I crumbled under pressure, but if someone needed a lesson they could still come to me and I could like, guide them towards becoming their best archer selves. Also, did you forget the part where it worked for me? I could have given you false expectations on how to interact with DJ or something! Your face is great, your body’s great, and your social life seems fine, but thanks for the compliments, I guess? They felt more like they were putting you down than putting me up, though, we should work on that. 

That’s such bullshit, man! Tell me, you know I won’t judge! Leander’s really cute and Cash is really nice, they’re two of the lesser shitty guys in the whole school.

Buuuuuut I don’t want to tell you! You’d do something all nice and helpful like try to set me up with them and best case scenario they’d friendzone me and feel sorry for me, and worst case scenario they’d try to date me because they feel like they should and that would ruin everything! Thanks but no thanks! 

Wow, you’re like a detective or something. Riddle me this, Sherlock, why would I want to see guys that are uglier than you, if that’s even possible?

Nah, being a detective’s too dangerous, my grammy would never let that fly. Uh, so that you appreciate a good thing when you’ve got it? You need to brush up on your detective skills instead, Joj.

I am pretty great but boys are usually dumb and dumbness doesn’t understand greatness, you know? I think I’ll settle for just the one date but uh, why would Leander get murdered? Don’t kill the guy, he’s cute, we need cute boys as they are currently in a shortage! And oh, that’s… kind of cool? I’d love meats for Valentine’s Day! Tell him to get me some too. Although I’m pretty sure I’m already getting good eats that day, you can never have too much meat!

Or maybe the dumb boys do recognize your greatness and they’re just so intimidated by it that they can’t function. Leander is mediocre looking at best, he can definitely die, it’s fine. Sure, I can pass that on, although I doubt he’d copy his gift for Leander for anyone else, so you’d probably just have to come hang out with all of us in order to have some. But sounds like you’re busy so nevermind! Uh, who are you busy with? Since you said boys are usually dumb?