#darlingderolo

I’m starting this off right with @princessamericachavez: If you don’t follow her, you should. Her CR meta (and all of her meta... and content... everything she produces, y’all) is riveting and well thought-out and honestly the kind of content that I look forward to reading. There are just some people whose thoughts I enjoy hearing, even when I don’t agree with all of it, and Sofia is one of them. (And if you really feel like crying, check out the 2 years later fic she posted this evening. I was in tears.) 

Next up is @whalohs: Again, incredible meta. If you’re looking for someone to present logical and sound theories backed up with evidence from episodes and just general understanding of the human condition, look no further, because it’s right there. I genuinely look forward to the meta that comes from J after each episode--quality content, y’all. Just saying. 

Following that up with @disasterhumans. Can you tell I love reading CR meta???? I really, really do. And this is yet another place that I go for quality content at the end of an episode and the days following. To top it all off, the humor and perspective provided in both reblogs and original content. Also, as  someone with a huge bias for Team Human, this is the exact kind of content I’m looking for on my dash on the regular. 

More recently, there’s @darlingderolo @kimabutch @sockablock and @cinnabi who I haven’t been following for as long, but am genuinely really pleased to stumble across on my dash. I look forward to keeping up with your content in the new year and hopefully getting to know you better!!

And last, but certainly not in any way least, is @xhorass. Rey has been incredible since we started talking a month or two ago. And I’m talking about putting up with my rambling about fics and theories and Caleb and feels. Also keeping up with my screaming about C1 as I do my rewatch. To top it all off, Rey is super duper fucking sweet and an incredible writer with great insight and critiques??? And just a really big, kind heart. I’m so grateful to have met you this year and to get to know you better in 2019. 

I’ve only been in the CR community for a few months, and this is only a fraction of all of the incredible critters out there producing content and creating a community that promotes love and acceptance, and I can’t wait to meet more of you in the upcoming time (years? months? who knows with this hellsite.) Anyway, I was emotional and wanted to post this. Sorry for rambling.

What makes it even funnier is that they take time to watch Vax’s friends, too. Vox Machina, he calls them. His found family. His best friends. The people he loved most before his death, and still does, even now. Molly learns a lot about them during their screen time--both because Vax talks about them at length and because the little pieces of Vax that stayed with them are obvious. Little moments of compassion, of sarcasm, of cheeky humor. One of the de Rolo boys is even partially named after him, which never ceases to put a sad smile on Vax’s face. 

To be fair, Vox Machina are their own particular brand of stupid. But they’re farther along in their life journeys, more settled in who they are as people, and less... generally chaotic, though Vax insists that they were their own force of chaos in their heyday. Molly believes him. If you take one look at Grog, golden-hearted lovable giant that he is, it’s pretty obvious that they’ve started one or two mishaps. Let alone Scanlan and Percy and... well... all of them. 

Objectively, the viewing parties for both are pretty fucking funny, though the Mighty Nein parties tend to include more yelling and infinitely more booze. Vax has taken a liking to Nott, though begrudgingly at first, and is particularly invested in her personal growth. Molly, for all the shit he talks, is proud of them. They’re taking strides, living their best lives; they were fucking pirates for a little while. They’re exploring who they are and who they want to be and he is undeniably proud of them for that. 

For all the yelling and all the commentary they have, the moments of quiet are the most important. When Mollymauk’s heart seizes up in his chest and he leans so close to the screen that things get blurry, when his ears start to ring and his hands shake. When Vax watches Keyleth, watches Vex, and his brow furrows and he leans back in his chair with his chin resting on his fist. 

They watch the seasons pass. They watch the chaos and the kids and the quiet and the violence. They watch Vax’s family gather in Whitestone for Winter’s Crest, and Molly listens to the story of the Briarwoods and Cassandra and the Sun Tree. They watch Percy and Vex’ahlia host lavish dinners and take walks around the city. They watch Grog referee wrestling matches between the kids. They watch the Mighty Nein struggle with morality and hope and understanding. They watch Jester and Caleb both lower their walls and Nott begin to love so much more freely. They watch as Fjord is torn in half by his love for power and his longing for closeness with the others. 

Their viewing party grows. Loved ones are sought out--first by Molly, then, eventually, by Vax. First, Zuella--for Yasha, for her heart. Then the twin’s mother, Elaina. Next, Vax brings a red dragonborn that he calls Tiberius, who talks too much and likes to be the center of attention, but means well all the same. None of them are around as often. Zuella remains vigilant, as do Caleb’s mother and father. 

(They’re the hardest to watch, for both Vax and Molly.  There’s so much pain in them, in the way they watch Caleb so closely. It’s clear where he got his pinpoint focus and his deep, if not perhaps stunted, compassion. It’s clear how much they love him, even now, and it’s enough to make Molly worry about Caleb’s future. As if he wasn’t already.) 

There’s as much comfort in watching as there is sorrow, as much humor as there is pain. The good moments and the bad weave together in a picture, a tapestry ever forming. And there’s a bit near the top, or at least Vax says, in the colors of Molly’s coat. He’s made a difference. He’s left every town and every single one of his friends better than he found them. And when they die, in a long, long time (or maybe a short one, if they’re lucky) he’ll meet them with open arms and a lot of booze.