The music is just a chaotic free-for-all. Every studio has five or six regular songs (España Cañi, something by Enya probably, etc.) but after that you have no idea what’s coming up on the playlist. I’ve heard Michael Buble followed immediately by the Game of Thrones theme and I Like to Move It. You haven’t known fear until you’ve been in the same room as a wedding party of middle-aged moms doing the Cha-Cha to minion music.

Social cues are out the window. When I started out, I was nervous about holding hands with strangers. Five months later, having someone hold your waist with 5-6 centimeters of space between you is “casual contact.” If your teacher wants you to stand somewhere, they just grab you by the lower back and move you, and you go along with it like a dazed rag doll.

For some reason age ceases to exist at dance studios. There are old ladies who are shaky even standing up and there are old ladies who can dance circles around you and slide easily into the splits.

Clothing standards are gone too. If you’re a girl, you get comfortable in heels REALLY fast. You can run, jump, and spin as easy as if you were wearing track shoes. The dresses are WILD, but everyone acts like nothing’s weird, so you go with it. I’ve stood in front of groups of total strangers in what was basically rhinestone-studded zebra-print lingerie and had a few people just casually say “you look nice, dear” and “that looks good with your eyes.”