Blackrock Characters as Quotes from โMy 14-Hour Search for the End of TGI Friday's Endless Appetizersโ:
Presented without further context:
Rythian:
4:25pm โฆ I am the martyr of this TGI Friday's.
Zoey:
4:59 p.m. I finish writing the alphabet on both napkins. There's room for more abecedaries, but I feel self-conscious that a server other than Gabbyโwho would understandโwill catch me scribbling them out and think I am insane.
5:00 p.m. Or that I have a beautiful mind!
Briony:
2:31 p.m.? Extended fantasy sequence.
Kirsty:
3:32 p.m. Paranoia seeps in. I send a text message to Max to ask if the offer of a free week's vacation is "a trick somehow," since Gawker Media has no formal vacation policy. He responds, "Nope." I write back, "If it's a trick, I will be your enemy for life." He says "Would never trick you." It's definitely a trick.
Duncan:
9:23 p.m. I keep thinking I hear people say "Caity." I write down in my notebook that I am "definitely hallucinating."
Teep:
9:36 p.m. A waiter tries to give me another table's Boneless Buffalo Wings. Do not tempt me, Satan.
Nilesy:
4:17 p.m. I discover that grinding sea salt over the mozzarella sticks makes them more palatable.
4:18 p.m. I over-salt the sticks.
Ravs:
5:37 p.m. I receive a text message from a friend and am so excited I drop my phone in marinara sauce as I scramble to pick it up.
Zylus:
1:45 p.m. I ask Gabby if she's had the mozzarella sticks, and what does she think of them? She tells me "They're good." Gabby and I are not yet good enough friends that we can be honest with one another.
Daltos:
6:20 p.m. A girl who looks to be about four years old walks into the dining room wearing bright orange lipstick, and the hostess gives her crayons. She is my only rival for command of this TGI Friday's.
Gilbert:
6:57 p.m. I am still being ignored. I don't care. This is a standoff. I don't even WANT mozzarella sticks.
6:59 p.m. The sticks are inevitable, though. Like death, they will find me.
HM Rythian and Zoey Leaving Newpool:
1:00 a.m. TGI'm Not at that Goddamn Friday's Anymore.
HM Rythian:
8:42 p.m. A sixth plate of mozzarella sticks is delivered to my table. Everyone sees this terrible thing happening and no one is doing anything to stop it.
HM Nilesy About His Pool Shack: 4:05 p.m. Somehow, suddenly, the entire surface of my table is wet, which is great because it gives me something to do. Mopping up the mess with crumpled, limp napkins, I feel like a rat taking pride in my humble trash home.
