YouTube's Words of Wisdom

"I'm a little bit horny right now."

"I farted and I can't get up!"

"Ain't nothin' sadder than watchin' a dog shit in the rain."

"If you're sucking a dick for your country, it's not gay."

"I died with no doodoo on my pants. That's all that matters."

"I got big white nipples."

"Would you shoot a dude with a little 'tude?"

"I drank a mysterious syrup. It'll fight off the fungus."

"Half my ass is just falling out of the shorts."

"My shorts are just entirely too small."

"I kinda started throwin' it back. I don't know what compelled me to do that."

"'Black Baby Data'; that's a folder I want on my computer."

"Imma beat yo ass with the power of Jesus!"

"I hope the tree don't whiiiiip me. . ."

"Jared Leto? *gunshot*"

"Freak-ass tree. That sounded like a whip. What tree would do that. . ."