YouTube's Words of Wisdom

"Imma beat yo ass with the power of Jesus!"

"I hope the tree don't whiiiiip me. . ."

"Jared Leto? *gunshot*"

"Freak-ass tree. That sounded like a whip. What tree would do that. . ."

"You want this blanket? It totally does not have smallpox whatsoever."

"WHY AM I A WOMAN?!?"

"Hey, we want to confront the weighty topic of racism, but can we do it in a way that means everyone can still be an attractive white person?"

"My sexual prowess? Nonexistent."

"Ask me if I'm Bing Bong. I'm Bing Bong."

"IT'S HERE TO WIGGLE ME!!!"

"I'm not locked here in wi- I'm locked in with you! You're locked in with. . . you!"

"Damnit, you guys die like such good little boys."

"Your words? They hurt. But your bullets hurt more."