#daehee

the kitchen light is on. it is the late evening, nearly 9:00pm (21:00 in you're not american).

an earthy scent of pumpkin fills the air along with the laughter of seo-ah. you and daeho have made it a point to have two-on-one time with her.

it is a deliberate effort to ensure she never feels overshadowed by her younger siblings, byeol and ji-ho, who are upstairs sleeping.

the spacious kitchen, with its gleaming countertops and wide windows letting in the bright moon, reflects on your bright and curious eldest.

seo-ah stands on a sturdy step stool between you and daeho, her small hands buried in the guts of a massive pumpkin that takes up half the kitchen island.

the girl's hair, tied back with mini rubber bands in a loose braid, is flecked with slimy orange strands, and her purple sweatshirt is smeared with pumpkin pulp, but she doesn’t care.

seo-ah's happy eyes sparkle with excitement, her giggles filling the room as she scoops out another handful of seeds and tosses them into a bowl with a dramatic flourish.

“look, eomma! it’s so gross!” she squeals, holding up her dripping hands, her nose wrinkled in delight.

you laugh, your heart swelling at her unfiltered joy.

“gross but fun, right?” you say, wiping a smear of pumpkin off her cheek with a damp cloth.

as a child, you never had these moments while growing up. your mother thought that halloween was demonic (even though she was the demonic one in this canon) and she did not buy pumpkins that would "only rot in a few weeks."

you were seated on a stool nearby, but you’re fully present in your daughter's happy moment with your disposable camera in hand, snapping photos of seo-ah’s antics.

the click of the shutter is a soft rhythm, capturing her in motion... her tongue poking out as she concentrates, her tiny fingers slick with pumpkin juice.

daeho, standing at the island, wields a sharp knife with precision. seo-ah's father has his shoulders relaxed as he lets seo-ah finish her craft before he helps her with the sharper objects.

he’s always been good with his hands.

“what kind of face are we making, seo-ah?” dae-ho asks while glancing at her with a grin, “something scary, you said?”

“super scary!” seo-ah declares while bouncing on her stool, “i want it to have big eyes and sharp teeth, like a monster!” she grabs a black sharpie marker, her small hand gripping it tightly as she starts sketching on the pumpkin’s smooth surface.

seo-ah's drawing is wobbly but bold with two huge jagged circles for eyes, a crooked mouth filled with pointy triangles.

“like this, appa! make it spooky!”

“spooky it is,” daeho says, chuckling as he studies her design.

he adjusts the pumpkin, tilting it so the light catches her sketch, and begins carving, the knife moving with steady confidence.

“you’re the boss, kiddo. tell me if i’m doing it right.”

you snap another photo, the flash catching the glint of daeho’s knife and the mischief darkness in seo-ah’s eyes.

“you’re gonna scare the whole neighborhood with that face,” you tease, leaning forward to get a closer shot of her proud grin.

the disposable camera feels nostalgic, a deliberate choice to make these memories tangible, something seo-ah can hold and flip through years from now.

you imagine her at fifteen, laughing at these photos, remembering how loved she was in this moment.

something you wish you had yourself.

seo-ah giggles when dae-ho stops carving for a second, scooping another handful of pumpkin guts and plopping it onto the counter with a wet splat.

“eomma, look! it’s like slime!” she says, smearing it around before daeho gently nudges her hands toward the bowl of seeds.

“slime goes in here, monster girl,” he says, ruffling her hair, which only adds more pumpkin strands to the mess, “we’ll roast these later. you like the salty ones, right?”

“yep!” seo-ah nods, her ponytail bouncing.

she’s undeterred by the mess, her focus split between her pumpkin masterpiece and the sheer joy of being the center of attention.

you and daeho exchange a glance, a silent agreement that this... her happiness, her confidence... is why you have these moments. with byeol’s toddler energy and ji-ho’s newborn needs, it’s easy for seo-ah to get lost in the shuffle.

tonight, she’s the star of the show.

“okay, eyes done,” daeho announces, stepping back to admire his work. the pumpkin’s face is coming to life, the jagged eyes eerie in the ambient kitchen light.

“teeth next. you sure you want them this sharp?” he teases, holding up the knife and making a playful chomping motion.

seo-ah shrieks with laughter, clapping her sticky hands.

“sharper, appa! make it the scariest!” she leans closer, watching as daeho carves each triangular tooth, her excitement bubbling over.

“eomma, take a picture of this!”

you oblige, snapping a shot of her leaning over the pumpkin, her face lit with pride as daeho works.

“got it,” you say, lowering the camera.

“you’re gonna have the best jack-o’-lantern in korea, seo-ah.”

she beams, her cheeks flushed with joy.

“can we put it outside tonight? with a candle?” she asks, her voice hopeful.

“absolutely,” daeho says, finishing the last tooth with a flourish.

“we’ll light it up and scare everyone who drives by. what do you think, eomma?”

“i think it’s terrifying already,” you say, grinning as you snap one more photo, capturing seo-ah’s triumphant smile next to the carved pumpkin.

later as seo-ah rummages for the perfect candle, you lean into daeho, the kitchen a mess of pumpkin guts but you're happy that your oldest daughter had a fun memory that you never got the chance to have. <3