This year has been abundant with change for me.. so much so that It's given me a lot of grace. But with that grace, my thoughts race. CPTSD has been a complete struggle for me as of late. It's something that I've pushed aside for years. Panic attacks resurfacing here and there, memories that were forgotten popping back up. I feel like my mind desperately wants to heal now that my chronic pain has been taken care of. Now that I'm in a safer environment, I feel like my mind has had more time to let it's self go, if that makes sense.
Toxic shame, that's my biggest hurdle yet. I've been so self aware yet avoidant about it for so long. It's been pretty bad this month. It's really taken a toll on my social life. Making me paranoid about existing friendships, all while putting my heart on my sleeve to people I don't know as a desperate attempt to make more friends to talk to. And when I feel like I've annoyed someone I take it to heart and self loath. It's gotta stop at some point.
Last night I had a breakdown on my partner. I had spent most of the afternoon doing paperwork, then had to deal with the damages from our local flood. It was incredibly stressful, but manageable for the average person. The added stress on top of what I was mentally going through kinda broke me. But it opened me up to him and what was bugging me. My self esteem and how I perceive friendships/relationships. So I made this mini comic to remind myself of what he said.
I wouldn't say my partner is Charles in this piece, but I wanted him to carry these words to GM08... aka me. I wanted to incorporate my Daft Punk AU with what he said yesterday because It felt right. I have never drawn Charles before this comic so I knew a new face would make it even more special. I feel like he would be a family friend of the two robots. Kinda like the couples' best friend trope that they both vent to. Either about each other or whatever is bothering them.
I hope Charles turned out okay, he's a character that needs more fanart in the dapu community. It's so funny how scared I was of the 'Da Funk' music video when I was a kid on the earlier days of youtube. Not sure if the video quality made it worse.
