#cybermat

Honourable Mentions- The Clangers - 1 vote (0.93%)

Of the four write-in candidates, two of them weren’t technically “creatures,” per se. Because of this, I opted not to include them as actual candidates, but rather as honourable mentions. While the Clangers are definitely “creatures,” they are still works of fiction within the Whoniverse. But you’ll excuse the reader who suggested them as even the Master was confused by their appearance. The concept of the Master not understanding children’s programming was continued in “The Sound of Drums,” when he mistook the Teletubbies as living creatures. Ironically, this concept lends an unexpected air of cuteness to the Master, especially in the case of Delgado. The guy has the look of a cartoon devil, and yet, watching him whistle curiously to the puppets on screen is, in its own way, cute.

Should you want to experience the Clangers in their cute glory, they make their Doctor Who appearance in “The Sea Devils.” Furthermore, episodes of Clangers can be found on BBC’s iPlayer. Mr Huffle - 1 vote (0.93%)

This one, I struggled with. While Mr Huffle is an inanimate object, his inclusion into the story “The Return of Doctor Mysterio,” hinged on the idea that the Doctor could not prevent himself from anthropomorphising the little guy. But the fact remains that the scene requires that we, the audience, understand that Mr Huffle is still just a toy. Because of that, he’ll only receive an honourable mention here.

Mr Huffle is an idea that could really only exist in the daftest of daft Christmas specials. Seeing as the Christmas special in question is one about a child who swallows a magical 12-sided die and becomes a superhero, the daftness quotient has been reached. I can’t imagine Mr Huffle working in an episode like “Father’s Day,” but here, it’s a bit of Christmas charm that is oddly not the weirdest thing about the story. It is Mr Huffle’s innocence and cuteness that makes Lucy’s torture of him so unbearable to the Doctor. And because of that, he earns his place as an honourable mention.

13. Fifi the Stigorax - 0 Votes (0%)

In the words of Community's Dean Pelton- “It’s good to know there’s a floor on this thing.” Coming in last place with zero votes is Fifi from “The Happiness Patrol.” When making my list of cute creatures I went from story to story trying to remember anything you could consider even remotely cute. As it turns out, Fifi is one of those creatures with a face only a mother could love. I thought that maybe his resemblance to a dog would garner a vote or two, but I was wrong. Perhaps I should have gone with a different dog, such as K9, instead. But hey, so could our write-in voters, and none of them mentioned our favourite tin dog either. As Christina Aguilera proved, being cute doesn’t matter if you’re mean. Perhaps if Fifi had also written something like “Beautiful,” he might have gotten a vote or two. Sorry Fifs.

8. "Junior" the Baby Sea Devil - 1 vote (0.93%)

Before I even started compiling my list of cutie pies, this little muffin was already on my list. Which is why I am surprised it only got a single vote. Perhaps if it had made more of an appearance in Doctor Who than a webisode made to advertise a blu-ray set, it would have received more votes. Looking like a cross between Baby Yoda and my pet tortoise, the Baby Sea Devil is a triumph of cuteness. This freshly hatched baby opens its wide black eyes with a sense of wonder as Jo Jones imprints on its mind as the first face this face saw.

The fact that Mike Tucker designed the baby Sea Devil puppet for such a small production is rather impressive. I can’t imagine the budget was very high, and yet I could see Junior working within the show proper. As the Jim Henson Creature Workshop would say, Junior is camera-ready. Maybe it’s the tortoise mum in me talking, but I want one. If you want to experience the Baby Sea Devil in all of its adorable glory, you can watch “Defenders of the Earth,” on YouTube.

8. Goblins - 1 vote (0.93%)

Unlike Junior, I’m not surprised by the lack of votes received for these little stinkers. These guys are the textbook example of the "eye of the beholder,” type of cuteness. Bordering on childlike and buglike, their diminutive stature does a lot of the heavy lifting here. However, there is something undeniably cute about them. Perhaps its their mischievous nature that lends a wily rascalliness to them. They evoke the same vibe as the Gremlins with their pointy ears and their penchant for murderous mayhem. They even show up on Christmas! There’s something infectious about the sheer glee they take in kidnapping babies to feed to their gluttonous goblin king. So bring up the lights and sing along with Janice Goblin because otherwise, you may be next on the menu!

8. Mykra - 1 vote (0.93%)

Another write-in candidate, the Mykra stands out as yet another cutie relating back to the Sea Devils. Their inclusion on this is perhaps part of why they have been remembered by much of the fandom as one of the worst monsters of classic Doctor Who. The Mykra is supposed to be fearsome, and yet, here it is on a list of the cutest creatures in Doctor Who. And I’m not even questioning why. I get it. Look at that adorable idiot. As cuteness goes, it’s cute in the way a lizard can be cute. It's giving Kermit with realistic textures. There’s also a bit of derpiness that adds to the charm as well. It lumbers on multiple legs like Mr. Snuffleupagus, and is anything but scary. Even Peter Davison found it embarrassing to act beside. There’s a sort of sweet charm to a lot of classic Doctor Who that a lot of us classic fans appreciate. Sure, it fails at being a horrific monster, but it succeeds at trying its best. “Grrr! I’m a big monster,” it says. Sure you are, buddy. Sure you are.

8. Scorchies - 1 vote (0.93%)

The Scorchies were added in for a number of reasons. Firstly, I wanted add something from the audios. Secondly, if it hasn’t become abundantly clear, I love puppets. And thirdly, they’re beautifully designed. Of all of the audio based creatures from Doctor Who we’ve had, I want a Scorchies episode the most. Maybe now that “Star Trek: Strange New Worlds,” is doing a puppet episode, we might finally get our first Doctor Who episode with felt furies. Once again, Jo is wrapped up with some of Doctor Who’s cutest creatures, and I love that I’m not alone in loving them.

The Scorchies aren’t actual living puppets but rather disembodied consciousnesses that inhabit puppet bodies. That doesn’t mean that they don’t act like puppets. Voiced in a manner that only Katy Manning can provide, the Scorchies speak and sing like they straight off the set of Rainbow or Lamb Chop’s Play-Along. Like the Baby Sea Devil, their design is an impressive feat on the behalf of Big Finish. Not only are they cute, but each puppet has their own unique design. We never see the Scorchies on screen, and yet so much care was put into their creation that I am delighted to include them on this list. The BBC should totally make a thing.

8. Quarks - 1 vote (0.93%)

The Quarks were a write-in which I almost included on the poll but decided against. I didn’t know if, like K9, you could consider them “creatures.” In hindsight, I should have included droids. You live and learn. Part of my reasoning for considering including the Quarks is similar to the Mykra. There’s a scrappy charm to their design that only classic Doctor Who can deliver. Their unwieldy rectangular bodies and awkward arms betray their menacing nature. Even when they’re doing the bidding of their cruel owners, the Dominators, it’s hard not to say “Aww.” Their circular heads with spikes jutting out in multiple directions give them as much menace as they do Lisa Simpson. Like the Chumblies, their design is so quaint that it’s hard to look at them and have any reaction other than admiration. If they ever bring the Quarks back for modern Doctor Who, I imagine a big conversation will be had as to how cute to make them. Because, sure, they are deadly, but part of their appeal is that they’re so very cute. You lose that and you lose part of what makes them great.

6. Alpha Centauri - 2 votes (1.87%)

Alpha Centauri is an interesting addition to this list as their cuteness is part of what makes them slightly menacing. In “The Curse of Peladon,” we’re given a sort of “Doctor Whodunit” murder mystery where any of the characters could be the killer. Voiced by Ysanne Churchman, Alpha is meant to sound cute and innocent. But their look is slightly off-putting. One of the hallmarks of cuteness is big eyes, but in Alpha’s case, they have only one, which is surrounded by protruding veins. They’re like the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland, but they have a phallic appearance that is undeniable. The one-eyed monster aspect to Alpha Centauri only adds to their ambiguity. Is the killer this adorable yet slightly grotesque bug? Or are they the Ice Warriors, known for their aggression in the past? Or is it the gross guy squirting green shit everywhere? Luckily for us, Alpha Centauri has a heart of gold, or however many hearts their species has. Alpha made one other appearance in classic Doctor Who but bowed out until 2017 when they made a brief appearance in “Empress of Mars.” The less said about their appearance in the Black and White Minstrel Show, the better.

6. Pting - 2 votes (1.87%)

Ah, the Pting. Before it’s debut episode “The Tsuranga Conundrum,” aired, there was a big hullabaloo about Tim Price naming the Pting like it was some great moment in the writers' room. Which is weird because as names go, it’s nothing special. But I guess when you consider it’s the same writers’ room that thought Ranskoor Av Kolos was a good name, it makes more sense. The Pting is undeniably cute, and like many of the other entries on this list, also slightly grotesque. It’s body is like Krumm from “Aaahh!!! Real Monsters,” with the personality and appetite of Nibbler from Futurama. Throw in Gremlins, but in the more RAF sense of the word, and you get the Pting. As Doctor Who baddies go, its hardly a baddie in the usual sense. More of a dangerous nusance than anything. It’s just very very hungry, and for some reason, poisonous to the touch. I fed reindeer in the Cairngorms this past weekend, and it was quite a similar sensation. Very hungry, a little bit pointy, and you’re not supposed to touch them. However, the zenlike look on the Pting’s face as it swallows a bomb is exactly the cuteness that landed it on this list in the first place. Just a hungry lil guy. Same, Pting. Same.

5. The Meep - 4 votes (3.74%)

The Meep, or Beep the Meep, as they're referred to in the comics' whole gimmick is cuteness belying a deeply sinister nature. On the checklist of cute, they’ve got top marks. Big eyes? Check. Soft and fuzzy? Check. Big kitty cat ears? Check. Smol in stature? Check. They even hide in Rose’s bedroom like E.T. among her plushies and art projects. But underneath that adorable exterior beats a blackened heart. Driven mad by the psychic sun of their home planet, the Meep is a hardened killer and genocidal dictator. Never has harbouring a war criminal looked so cute nor needed such a big lint roller. They even look cute when their face changes to mean. And it's not like you can reason with them. Pulling the thorn out of this lion’s paw does nothing to quell the inner beast. The Meep is a villain through in through. But would I love to own a plushie of one? Absolutely. So soft. So cute. So evil.

4. The Original Cybermats - 6 votes (5.61%)

When I made this list, I specified “the original Cybermats,” specifically because I meant the ones with the googly eyes. Once again, like other classic Doctor Who creatures, their cuteness is unintended. Or perhaps, maybe less so on this occasion. There is a reality I can imagine where the creators of these creatures wanted to soften their scariness a bit for the sake of the children in the audience. “The Tomb of the Cybermen,” is already a pretty dark story with lumbering metal men emerging from icy tombs to wreak havoc. As Cybermats go, these are some of the smallest in the show’s history, fitting within the palm of your hand. Compare them to the snakelike Cybermats that crawled up Sarah Jane’s arm and you can see they are very different. If you ignore the implication that Cybermats are cyber-converted babies, you might pass these little guys off as cute. They resemble arthropods, antennae and all. You could imagine them scuttling on the sea bed in another life. However, knowing their true nature, I don’t think I’d want to see one scuttling up my leg any time soon.

3. Lux aka Mr Ring-A-Ding - 19 votes (17.76%)

Now we’re getting into the heavy-hitters. I was not at all surprised by the popularity of Mr Ring-a-Ding in the slightest. Fans seem to have really embraced Mr Ring-a-Ding in a way seldom seen. The fan art shows not just an interest in the character, but a desire to partake in his reality alongside him. People are creating their own O.C.s within the Ring-a-Dingiverse. As a former kid whose dad once said “Why don’t you draw the next one without Sonic the Hedgehog eyes?” I get it. Like most cartoon characters, Mr Ring-a-Ding is designed with cuteness in mind. It’s not until reality starts creeping in and turning him three dimensional does he start to look slightly off-putting.

Mr Ring-a-Ding doesn’t just look cute, he acts cute as well. He sings, he dances, he capers. His little legs can barely carry him. The Lux aspect of his personality is where his menace is derived. There’s a Godlike lust for power and adoration in the cartoon heart of Lux. And yet, as he grows to a Biblical size that cracks open the roof of the Palazzo Movie Theatre, the light of the sun and the cosmos fills him with brilliant joy. We watch as Lux peacefully expands into everything and nothing all at once. It’s a surprisingly peaceful end to what could have been a very dangerous situation.

2. Adipose - 30 votes (28.04%)

While reading this article, you may have wondered if I voted in the poll, and yes, I did. The Adipose got my vote. Not only do I find them adorable, I even have one tattooed on my arm. The BBC must have known they were onto something with these because they made a plushie, a stress ball, and little Adipose action figures for their Character Options range. I own all three. As it turns out, the fat just walks right into your heart. But in a cute way, not a heart disease way.

So what is it about the Adipose that 29 other people and myself love so much? Well, for starters, they’re just sweet little babies, which never hurts. While their origins are of a deadly nature, they themselves are not evil. There’s also something about their fat little bellies and stubby limbs that screams “cuddle me!” Though one must wonder if giving an Adipose a cuddle would leave an oily residue on you. There’s also their little snaggle tooth that gives them just that extra kick of cuteness. Do teeth in a fat based creature make sense? Not really. Do I care? Not at all. Perhaps one of the funniest things about the Adipose is how I can imagine them working as a mutually beneficial weight loss program. I get to add more of these little cuties to the world while fitting better into my clothes? Yes please. Perhaps it was Adipose Industries’ secrecy that was their real mistake.

1. Dugga Doo - 37 votes (34.58%)

Unlike the Adipose, seemingly no one at the BBC predicted the popularity of Dugga-Doo. Which is funny because it’s so clearly internet coded. Not since Nyan Cat has something delivered such a viral mixture of sound and visuals. And like Nyan Cat, the 10-hour cut was inevitable. Neither Russell T Davies or the Beeb seemed to realise the marketing potential they had on their hands. Ncuti Gatwa’s reaction to the song on Doctor Who Unleashed should have been their indicator. One of the coolest, most stylish guys on the planet is grooving to your song? You might have a hit on your hands.