#currant

Lilac

Lilacs and Rhodies

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₊˚⊹౨ৎ ₊˚⊹ Currant Boyfriend Prank

Summary: You do the currant boyfriend prank on Malachi

Pairing: girlfriend!reader x Malachi Barton

Warnings: none

Notes: Enjoy!

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

You’re perched sideways in the passenger seat, knees pulled to your chest, a half-open bag of takeout balanced on your lap.

Malachi’s in the driver’s seat, sunglasses pushed up into his hair, unwrapping his food like it personally offended him.

You casually prop your phone against the dashboard, making sure it’s angled just right.

“Okay, so,” you start, voice light and cheerful, “today my currant boyfriend and I are grabbing lunch and then—”

Malachi stops mid-unwrapping.

He blinks once.

Twice.

Slowly, slowly, he turns his head toward you.

“…your currant boyfriend?”

You don’t even look at him. “Yeah.”

There’s a beat of silence.

Then: “Did you just call me a berry.”

You hum thoughtfully. “I didn’t say berry.”

“You said currant.”

“Right.”

“That’s a fruit.”

“Allegedly.”

He pulls his sunglasses down just enough to stare at you over the rim. “Okay. Either I’m being disrespected in 4K right now or you’ve finally lost it.”

You finally glance at him, completely straight-faced. “Babe, focus. I’m vlogging.”

“Oh, I’m focused,” he says, leaning closer to the camera. “Focused on the fact that my girlfriend just demoted me to a placeholder boyfriend.”

You bite your lip, trying not to laugh. “No one said placeholder.”

“‘Currant boyfriend’ implies there will be a next boyfriend,” he argues. “What am I? A limited-time offer?”

You shrug. “You are seasonal.”

His mouth falls open. “That’s crazy. That’s actually insane behavior.”

He looks back at the camera, offended. “Guys, please comment if this is toxic. Because I feel emotionally attacked.”

You nod seriously. “Like and subscribe if Malachi survives today.”

He gasps. “Survives?”

Then he reaches over and steals a fry from your bag.

“Hey!”

“This is compensation,” he says. “For the emotional damage of being called a currant.”

You snort despite yourself, quickly covering it with a cough. “You’re fine.”

“No, no,” he continues, shaking his head. “Because what happens when currant season is over, huh?” He gestures dramatically. “You just wake up one day and go, ‘Sorry babe, you’re out of stock.’”

You finally crack, laughing a little, but you try to recover. “You’re overthinking it.”

“Oh, I promise you I’m not,” he says. “Next thing you know, I’ll be introduced as ‘my former boyfriend, Malachi, he was really sweet while he lasted.’”

You reach for his arm, still holding your phone. “Babe.”

He looks at you, eyes narrowed. “Am I getting replaced by a strawberry?”

“Depends,” you say sweetly. “Strawberries are very popular.”

He groans loudly and slumps back in his seat. “I knew it. I should’ve treated you better. I should’ve folded the laundry that one time.”

You burst out laughing now, fully. “Oh my God, stop.”

He perks up instantly. “Oh, so now it’s funny?”

You lean over and press a quick kiss to his cheek. “You’re not going anywhere.”

He smirks, smug. “Say it for the camera.”

You roll your eyes but smile. “You’re my boyfriend. My only boyfriend.”

He nods, satisfied. “Good. Because I don’t share my title.”

Then he pauses.

“…But just so we’re clear,” he adds, stealing another fry, “if I hear ‘currant’ again, I’m deleting the app.”

(PT: (lime emoji) currant! /End PT)

a term for an older aestalu individual!