#cuddles kovinsky

Divorce! Abortion! Adultery! Alcoholism! Pornography! Christianity! Foot fetishism! Nuns! Polyester bravely tackles the big issues! Filmed in scratch’n’sniff Odorama and featuring the single greatest comedy double act in cinema history (Divine and Edith Massey), John Water’s delirious black comedy Polyester was released 45 years ago today (29 May 1981). In terms of Waters’ oeuvre, Polyester comes after dystopian lesbian-punk nightmare Desperate Living (1977). There followed a lengthy gap until he made Hairspray in 1988. Polyester can be viewed as a transitional work between Waters’ ultra-raunchy earlier shockers and the relatively more polished and accessible bigger-budgeted films from Hairspray onward. Polyester was the first Waters film to receive an R rating (all his previous ones were slapped with an X). An affectionate parody of Douglas Sirk-style 1950s “women’s pictures”, Polyester sees plus-size drag monster / leading lady Divine cast against type as long-suffering suburban housewife Francine Fishpaw. “I’m a good Christian woman!” Francine wails at one point. “She weighs 300 pounds and is an alcoholic! She eats an entire cake at one sitting. You should see her stretch marks!” Francine’s boorish husband Elmer unchivalrously notes. “She's the hairiest woman I've ever laid eyes on!" Divine never “phoned-in” a performance in his life, but his depiction of Francine’s anguished descent into alcoholism and nervous collapse is an acting tour de force. Polyester is particularly notable for romantically partnering Divine with 1950s heartthrob Tab Hunter (he also croons the theme tune, with lyrics by Chris Stein and Deborah Harry of Blondie!) and for being Massey’s final appearance (as cleaning lady-turned-debutante Cuddles Kovinsky) in a Waters movie. My favourite line: Francine’s shrewish mother La Rue (Joni Ruth White), struggling to make small talk with Cuddles, asks, “Scrubbed any interesting toilets lately?” Now sing along with me: “You know about abundant women / Well, this girl only aims to please / Outside there's a load of noisy neighbours / Upstairs there's a polyester squeeze …”

Enchanté! Edith Massey (as Cuddles Kovinsky) in John Waters' Polyester, 1981.

Snaggle-toothed punk granny, thrift shop proprietress and “outsider actress” Edith “Edie” Massey (28 May 1918 - 24 October 1984) – perhaps the most beloved of all John Waters’ freaky repertory troupe of actors – died on this day forty years ago. Massey made her film debut in Waters’ early “gutter film” Multiple Maniacs (1970). Her final appearance (for Waters) was as cleaning lady-turned-debutante Cuddles Kovinsky in Polyester (1981). Massey’s most treasured performances – as Mama Edie the Egg Lady in Pink Flamingos (1972), Aunt Ida in Female Trouble (1974) and Queen Carlotta in Desperate Living (1977) – will live forever. Massey and Divine onscreen together is probably my all-time favourite comedy double act (like Lucy Ricardo and Ethel Mertz for freaks and punks). Crank up “Punks Get off the Grass” (or her covers of “Fever” or “Big Girls Don’t Cry”), eat a hard-boiled egg and use “rah sha sha” in a sentence today in Massey’s honour.

Born on this day 107 years ago: the fabulous Edith Massey (28 May 1918 – 24 October 1984) – barmaid turn snaggle-toothed naïve outsider actress, “egg lady”, punk granny, plus-size model, thrift shop proprietress and perhaps the most beloved of John Waters’ stable of regular performers (aka the Dreamlanders). Massey made her film debut in Waters’ early “gutter film” Multiple Maniacs (1970). Her swan song was in Polyester (1981). Her most treasured performances – as Mama Edie in Pink Flamingos (1972) and Aunt Ida in Female Trouble (1974) – will enthral aficionados of cult cinema forever. The combo of Massey and Divine onscreen together is probably my all-time favourite comedy double act (like Lucy Ricardo and Ethel Mertz for freaks and punks). Pictured: Massey as the cruel and corrupt Queen Carlotta, a rare villainous role in in Desperate Living (1977). Massey’s delivery of lines like “Every word I ever utter shall be considered a royal proclamation!”, “Seize her and fuck her!”, “This’ll teach you to arouse royalty!” and “Damn that hellcat of a daughter of mine!” are immortal. Eat a hard-boiled egg or use “rah sha sha” in a sentence today in Edith Massey’s memory!

Divine (as Francine Fishpaw) and Edith Massey (as Cuddles Kovinsky) in John Waters’ Polyester

Edith Massey (as Cuddles Kovinsky) from John Waters' Polyester, 1981