Dec 25, 2020
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I came across this pretty soon after starting my record collection in a local record store. I asked the guy working to give me something I might like. He asked me what I was into and at the time it was mostly math rock, noise rock, and hardcore punk. He handed me this album, and it being only five dollars I decided to buy it. When I played it the first time, I had no idea what to expect and barely got past the first couple tracks. It sat on my shelf for about two years, and I forgot about it. Earlier this year I was looking into Zach Hill and some of his non-Hella and Death Grips releases and found his collaboration with Mick Barr. I was into it and started searching for more Mick Barr stuff. I was surprised when I saw this album as one of the first things he ever put out, so I gave it another listen. It's a lot more enjoyable to me now, after I've gone way farther down the weird music rabbit hole, as the most extreme stuff I listened to back when I first got it was The Jesus Lizard and Big Black.
Crom-tech “Slowdime 12″” (1999)
This record politely tells you that it is 45rpms right where it also tells you side 1 and 2. Hear that Bad Manner’s? Maybe you should take note. I guess that’s why you’re called Bad Manners. I like the idea that I’m going into listening to Cromtech and knowing nothing about them except that they are a polite band.
This guitar sounds like a kazoo and I’m nervous that I actually did put it on too fast of a speed! Alex is reassuring me that it’s supposed to sound like this. What. The. Heck. This is like Albert Ayler on a sugar high in another dimension. No thank you.
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
The guitar noise is so stabby. I feel the notes going through my hard skull and into my soft brain and stabbing it.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
There is no track listing and no song names, which is probably for the best for you. I’m not even joking that I feel like I’m getting a real headache and might need advil. I guess I’m supposed to enjoy the speed that a real person is playing this guitar at? A real person making this nightmare brain hurt music. I can not appreciate you. I won’t do it.
I wonder what this sounds like on 33rpm.
Oh thank god, side one is over. Alex just said that he likes side two better. Let me put a cold compress on my forehead before flipping the record.
Does this sound less kazoo stabby or am I just used to it by now? I’m kind of noticing the drums a little more on this side. I think I really am sort of getting used to it. Nowhere near liking it though, let’s keep that clear.
There’s some sort of playful interlude that almost sounds like it could be in one of those really old black and white cartoons. But then it gets painful again, just when you start to relax. Oh wait, it was almost classical there for a second. Now we're back to Albert Ayler the metal version. Oh god when will I get out of this maze!
Alex just told me his favorite song on the album is now playing and he’s tapping his foot and bobbing his head furiously while playing air guitar. What....
Oh my god, I made it. Good night.
If you like suffering, you can listen to one track of the album here. That’s all I could find on youtube.
