#croc hunter

"Dear Jim,

Please paint for me Steve Irwin threatening Jimmy Nail with a crocodile in the style of Crocodile Dundee's "that's not a knife" scene. Jimmy is wearing nothing but his crocodile shoes. Steve is wearing crocs. This confrontation is taking place upon the Millport Crocodile. Roger Moore is sneaking past in his crocodile disguise. There are also crocodiles.

Thanks,

I mean, its obvious he should hes a fucking Sans. But one of his favorite comedians is Gabriel Iglesias. 

One day, Hes at a politcal party with his mom and dad (Toriel and Asgore for those new/havent read the rest yet) where they have to meet with several parties and discuss boring stuff agendas with them.

Keep in mind, Sans usually has to tone down his accent in order for most of the people around him to understand what the diddly darn fuck he’s saying.

Welp one of those parties says something really stupid, and Toriel gets to a heated debate with them while Asgore is on the sidelines like “Boy howdy here we go.”

Sans looks over and sees a camera crew coming over to see what the fuss is about.

He looks over at his mom getting slowly more and more angry with the party.

He wants to.

He has to.

He needs to. 

Its just too god damn perfect. 

He does it.

He walks over to the camera crew like one does sneaking through tall grass and goes, in his Australian accent at full strength, “Hey, ‘ow ya doin?” He looks over at his mom and points, “Look o’er there! Right there. Tha’s a Toriel. That Toriel is bout 7′4 and can rip inta a man in ‘bout ten seconds.” He pauses, “Imma poke it.“

The camera crew is practically dying, but they hold in their laughter until Sans gets closer and boops her on the arm. 

Toriel, who’s nearly frothing at the mouth because f the parties stupidity at this point, whips her head around and snaps, “WHAT?”