As if I don’t already have enough projects, what with curtains and my van and this blanket that I’m weaving, I had an epiphany a couple weeks ago:
I started my creative existence as a storyteller, inspired by the Harry Potter series. But in my time with my ex, I forgot my goals as a sculptor. I struggled in that relationship, and unimportant nonsense like trying to impress a family that merely refused to accept me because of the family member I dated, overshadowed my creative pursuits. I found myself obsessed with monetizing my studio practice to impress this family, driving me further from my original interests. Then of course, the relationship ended, and I wasted time being upset about it and struggling to get my life together.
In October, for the first time since I quit Wal-Mart, I had a stable job. I got to know the people I was working with, and they were getting to know me.
I was chatting with some of them when I started to remember why I began storytelling. I decided that I wanted to create a tribute to the story that, for me, started my creative journey and led me to where I am, creatively, today. I picked up this little sketchbook from Wal-Mart the other day, and I’m going to make good on my tribute (I genuinely hope and intend).
It feels like a good way to set me off in the direction I’ve subconsciously fighting to go for a long time. I want to use my sculpting skills the way other artists use their Cintiqs, but of course, there can be so much to do to get a story ready this way--including writing the story to have a script to work from. I've been lazy and scared of my own story, trying to perfect it as I stitch it together, instead of just putting the pieces together so I can see the whole picture.
Of course for legal reasons, I probably won’t exhibit the complete work online, but I’m not even going to get excited till I’ve storyboarded the whole first volume. I wonder how many of these little sketchbooks that might take…. However, my hope is that by using an existing work that matters in my heart, I can put my studio practice back in motion while practicing the habits I'll need to adopt to bring my work, my vision to life.
It helps that I've put off fighting to wait for some aspects of the bus to come together so that I can work on the next step and I've decided to just skip to the parts that I'm fully in charge of. I'll just have to come back to certain things later. So actually some of my sewing can be put away for much later.
