CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY WORK. 20 mins in and I was literally like oh my jesus christ we’re going on a journey they’re fucked UPPPP

the follow my breath parallel??? I LEAPT OFF MY COUCH

also the reveal in ep 2. i have nothing to say except it has been quite genuinely years since ive been caught off guard by a show like that. oh my god

it’s just all so. the whole time i kept thinking of the quote “he’s not heavy, he’s my brother.” and it’s so mangled in this context but niall does seem to really think of reuben that way to an extent… his unquestionable loyalty, because they are bound to each other. how reuben is so intertwined with his own sense of self that he can’t even see how twisted it is, what they are to each other. what reuben is to him. the hold he has on niall. EVEN AT THE ALTAR. the nod. the sharp breath. like. i release you. you move when i say. you can give yourself to someone else, but only when i say. and then! BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENS REUBEN IS THE GHOST IN THAT UNION. speaking of which that small sliver of agency niall grasps in ep 3, i was fucking floored. i really didn’t think he would act out. but even then it was so last minute, he was under such duress about it. and the way reuben lunged for him like a beast. my god. emmy now. not just for that but everything that man is doing as young reuben jfc

but then you also have the scene where reuben makes niall stand on his feet while they sway, and they allude to their father’s abuse. and it’s so. i don’t want to say tender but it is. in that sense they’re on the same team, and niall desperately wants to be on reuben’s good side. wants to be good period, but mannnnn. the poison drips through. he’s trying to make his own way but reuben has such a fucking hold on him it’s painful to watch. and up until ep 3 he allows it! he’s still being held by the scruff of his neck and we see it in the flash forward! so what the hell happens from where we leave off in ep 3 vs present day!!