#corvidthots

We could be here literally all day because it's not like they have one or two outliers, Gamepress is just mainly edited by people that live in an echo chamber and that have authority in their own circle so it's just off-the-hip, all too often wrong biased takes based on their own really reductive metrics. Chiefly, Gamepress ranks characters 1) as if they were the sole unit in the battlefield almost exclusively, and 2) using the single most broken units currently live as the barrier of entry. The unit you are looking up can't clear a chunk of map in one tap? Worthless and sub-optimal, according to Gamepress. Their only metric is Mlynar, Ch'ung the Hung, Surtr, that kind of Press To Win philosophy, and if a unit can't do that, Then It's Bad And Not Worth It.

Now, you may be thinking, "goodness me, Dreamer, you are being awfully harsh to call them complete dogshit at every angle of the game in this manner!", well, see, it's not just their Operator "reviews", they have articles sometimes. And they are god awful dogshit as well, such as "What Happened To Blaze?"

You can't see the comments anymore, but the author was getting reamed. I have one screenie at least:

Comments were mainly of this nature. Because, well, the article is straight up awful, especially since it reduces Blaze to "laneholder" and compares her to "competition" like Thorns, Mudrock, and Mountain, who, yes, they all can hold a lane, but Blaze has her own space of "infinite duration, high statline, healable 3-block with 2 tile range" that has historically allowed for Funny Tricks like clearing enemies through "walls" on tiles that could shred Thorns even with a healer, or, you know, in conjunction with any of Mudrock or Mountain, given you have 12 whole slots for you team. Again, Gamepress editors rate characters as if they were your main in a fighting game and not one of 12+1 characters you can throw in at any time. They also tend to shit on non-specialist characters (generalists; more versatile units that can do a bunch of things without really breaking the game in any regard), which is very interesting because those usually will make up a strong backbone of any competent Integrated Strategies team, so the specialists in role can do their thing while the other needs of the map are being met.

"Ebenholz is nothing special." "Goldenglow is nothing special." These are takes they genuinely held until, you know, it turned out that Eben and GG are the most relevant Casters, up there with Eyja. To be fair, it wasn't just them being wrong on Eben, but how do you look at the global blasting of GG with her numbers and don't immediately realize that's an ICBM button? All it takes is having the game installed.

The biased nature of Gamepress is also blatant:

Imagine rating April as "Really Good" while relegating Dorothy as only "Really Fun". Even before her Module3, Dorothy was absolutely devastating, bringing huge damage multipliers, crowd control, one of the single best class autoattacks in the whole game at 6* stat weight, and a Talent that gives her even more Attack for basically using her as intended. I'm not saying April isn't good, mind you, I'm just trying to highlight how biased the hands behind Gamepress are: They can't figure out Trapmasters? Then surely they are merely "really fun". Can't drop and forget them like April or Surtr, after all.

About the only thing Gamepress is good for is objective, in-game info: Dates, mat requirements, what skills do, that kind of stuff. It's got a good interface and is a good place to just quickly look up what you need to know that can otherwise be found in the game. The moment their personal opinions come into play, though? The most absolute dogshit takes. Unless you are a "unga bunga drop Surtr and Mlynar and win instan-- WAIT WHY IS INTEGRATED STRATEGIES AND RISK 23+ KICKING MY DAY 1 PLAYER ASS...!?" kinda player, then you don't really want to follow Gamepress advice.

behold: maria maddalena by guido cagnacci, oil on canvas, c. 1626, 86 cm x 72 cm

LITERALLYYY THIS IS SO FUNNY

this show has been having funnier dramas since it's over than it had in its 15 years of runtime, that's an incredible feat.

Jensen Ackles won't rest until he's rewritten SPN exactly like he wants.

And while i'd love to let the dead horse be dead, ngl this necromancy show is the most entertained i've been, so, carry on Jensen, i'm curious to see how it can get more insane from here.

thank you. and you'll never guess what. pepper time.

i think one of the parallels that stood out the clearest to me was when georgie was talking to martin after they cut ties (i believe it was martin anyway?)

like her thing of "i care about him but i also have to distance myself because i can't keep trying to save someone who doesn't want to help themselves"

cause anyone who's been close with someone suffering with addiction has been there! and the tift that martin and georgie got into about that was so authetic! it sucks to have to do that, and some people are going to judge you for making that decision, or some people's tolerance for that is higher than others. and no one there was in the wrong, it was just a lot of pain and hurt feelings and "i wish things didn't have to be like this but they are and we all have to deal with that"

not sure i have a final point but. idk that moment always stood out to me

Everclear is a different breed than your average alcohol. It's grain alcohol. It doesn't fuck around. It's highly purified and therefore much stronger than vodka, whiskey, etc. It tastes like burning sugar, feels like it evaporates basically as soon as it hits your tongue, and is generally extremely unpleasant. You can use it to make other alcohol sometimes, but primary purpose is like. Really bad frat parties. It's kinda as close as you can get to drinking your nearest bottle of isopropyl without poisoning yourself (immediately, anyway).

A shot is about 1.5 oz. Most drinks you're making are gonna top out somewhere around 3 oz of alcohol that, once again, is generally a lot weaker and better-tasting than everclear.

Of course, it's impossible to tell how much she put in, but eyeballing it, that looks like well over 3 oz. Of basically the most alcoholic alcohol you can get.

We had many options to put in here, but she basically pulled out the bazooka and fucked over everyone

oooooh.

🥝 ⇢ do you lie a lot? what's the most recent lie you told?

I don't really lie (what for etc) unless it's lying to avoid an argument I can otherwise avoid, which is why the last person I lied to was my dad. That's just self preservation instinct

🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

Terrible admission but I don't really do playlist. Unless we count my “Work Bitch” running playlist, which has no rhyme or reason whatsoever, it's just songs that came up on sporify at some point that are uptempo enough to run to.