#correll

The illustrations for the six chapters of Herbert West: Reanimator by H. P. Lovecraft as published in Weird Tales. You can read the full story here.

I. From the Dark II. The Plague-Daemon III. Six Shots by Midnight IV. The Scream of the Dead V. The Horror from the Shadows VI. The Tomb-Legions

I told my wife everything I’d been keeping a secret from her these past months.

About how I thought of inviting my ex to play D&D with our group somehow

&

About how I’d been listening to ex’s podcast

She was not happy about either thing, but she understood. We talked for a while. She knows how important peace and harmony is for me among my friends and family, and so she understands how much this thing with my ex seeing her again and coming back into her orbit and shaking her hand but not getting to talk and apologize is tearing me up.

But she also reminds me although finding peace is not impossible, it is highly improbable at this point.

Being friends again with my ex it’s entirely possible it isn’t even something God wants for us, and it’s apparent that it’s not something she wants, it’s only something that I want, and to what end? Someone to watch marvel movies with? Someone to share memes with? I already have that with other friends and with my wife.

I thought there’d be a happy ending where we could just all be happy friends and forgive each other and go to the same church, being one of the only friends I know in this new town we moved to, but this was a naïve and childish way of thinking. There’s no magic or alchemy or cleverness that can fix this, because it’s not a problem that can be fixed. She is not a ‘problem’, she is a person. A person that is making her own decisions with the information she have available to her, and not seeking to find out anything else from me directly.