#cornwall live

1: PIRATE FM!!!!

i'm not even joking, johnny off pirate fm raised me. and their little segments, omg! i'm so good at where are we to it's not even real, and daytime in the duchy is the best programme ever. and before you ask, pirate's been bred into me. so much that ik their hotline number. 01209313900 just in case you were wondering. and you can get a pirate windscreen sticker. genius.

2: falmouth packet

i'm from falmouth, and when i tell you that the falmouth packet is the most quality piece of journalism out there i'm not exaggerating. the reports from the truro crown courts are just TOO FUCKING GOOD and the headlines are so overwhelmingly shit! i kid you not, one week the front page was 'pig becomes stuck in house' . journalistic gold.

3: the blanket hate of tourists!

this is a hate shared by every single cornish person, even though tourism brings in shit tons of money to our communities. we all gripe and bitch abt your quba sails coats and your teslas and range rovers and god help you if you have even the slightest northern accent. i am praying for you as i write this.

4: poldark

i'm going to keep this short and sweet. WHEN HE GOES OFF RIDING TO TRURO HE IS RIDING THE WRONG FUCKING WAY!!!!

5: david fucking barnicoat.

let's face it, if you're from falmouth, you either love him or you hate him. basically, david barnicoat is the local busybody, but we love him sm. he also used to do a very good column in the falmouth packet abt the shipping movements at the docks.

6: the pronunciation of fowey

some ignorant twats pronounce fowey 'foewee' because they're annoying and stupid. these people are so prevalent that studies say that the pronunciation of the place is literally changing. pronounce it FOY folks!

7: regarding anywhere beyond the tamar as 'foreign'

if you're not cornish, you'll need this explained, but the tamar is the river between devon and cornwall, and there is an ongoing joke between the cornish that anywhere not in cornwall is foreign. my lovely gorgeous amazing friend eliza is from exeter and i call her a bloody foreigner. btw we're not being offensive, it's a joke before people start getting all anti-discriminatory.

8: we laugh at your clocks that say 'dreckly'

we don't actually say dreckly anymore. merchandise has cruelly robbed it from us.

9: TRAGO

absolutely fucking brilliant department store, and the best one is in falmouth, not newton bloody abbot. it may be in a castle, but you can't find a fucking thing in there. you can buy anything in trago (the falmouth one) because it is just too good. but they sell the randomest shit, like in the sports department, you can buy guns and crossbows. like wtf. buuuutttt, they have the best christmas display, that is set up in like late september, so your perception of time is all fucked up. honestly, when they set it up for the first time it feels like november. i forgive them tho because they have a little train THAT GOES ROUND ON TRACKS. INJECT IT INTO MY VEINS.

also they have the best advert on pirate ever. *headbangs* wHaTeVeR yOu wAnT -DUH DUH- wHaTeVeR yOu LiKe -DUH DUH-

TRAGO IS LIFE

View Cornwall Live Article

They said even commercial lorry drivers are speeding though the village.

Villagers have said enough is enough after claiming drivers and so-called boy racers speed down their main road every day.

Dobwalls, in south east Cornwall, has seen its main road turned into a dangerous "speeding track", even though it got a bypass to avoid this particular issue in 2008.

In a public meeting at the local pub Highwayman on Monday (June 25), a dozen residents and the Dobwalls Road Safety Group expressed their concerns to local Cornwall Councillor Jane Pascoe and County Hall's portfolio holder for transport Geoff Brown.

Ray, a local, said: “It is a village road but people use it as a major road. We got the bypass in 2008 but today people still remember the old road as it was.

“They also use it because it is a bit shorter.”

He explained that drivers, including those in lorries and commercial vehicles, were regularly speeding at up to 60mph and that local boy racers were driving in circles between the Twelvewoods roundabout and the next, via the village, sometimes reaching what seemed to be 80mph.

“They race each other,” Ray said. “There’s a hill at the end of the road that encourages boy racers to speed up. They’re not the exception, unfortunately, they’re almost the rule.”

If you are missing your Poldark fix on a Sunday night and the sight of Aidan Turner then here is a chance to see a new photo of the actor and his co-star Eleanor Tomlinson. The pair having given their support to a groundbreaking book created by the Cornwall Down's syndrome support group.