#wolfstar fic

Sirius: aw, you’re so sappy, mine’s gonna be Peter

Peter: YEAH!

James: WHAT? What about me??

Sirius: you’re gonna officiate, duh?

James: HA!

Remus: wait, what about me? I’m not good enough to be a best man?

Sirius: no, dummy, you’re the one I’m marrying

Remus: what

James: WHAT

Peter: what??

“Four  beds, Padfoot! It says four beds!” James complained, reading off of the listing and rolling his eyes.

“Wait, really? I thought it said five!” Sirius exclaimed, leaning over James and looking at his phone screen suspiciously. 

“No, you idiot. Four. And next time we go on a group vacation, you will not be the one to book the cottage,” Lily reprimanded, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms.

“Fine. James and I will share, and–”

“Absolutely not! We were already going to share before, that doesn’t solve the problem! And before you suggest it, we are not letting you join us, Sirius,” Lily snarked, grimacing.

He grinned. “You’re missing out!” But it was all a joke. “Fine, I’ll kip with someone else, yeah?

But Remus, Peter, and Mary were all studiously avoiding his gaze. Still, he pouted, eyes wide, until one of them broke. 

“Fine!” Remus sighed, throwing his arms in the air and giving Sirius a death glare. “But if you kick me in your sleep–”

“I won’t, Moony!” Sirius assured him, beaming. “Don’t you worry!”

Quickly, the friends brought their bags into the admittedly-nice cottage, selecting rooms and taking some time to unpack. As soon as the door to Sirius and Remus’s room closed, Sirius turned to Remus, sending him a huge grin. “Hey, Moony,” he said slowly, eyes full of amusement.

Already on the bed, Remus gave a huff of laughter. “You think they bought it?” he asked, lips turning up more as Sirius joined him, straddling his lap.

“Oh, yeah. You seemed right pissed. ‘Oh, Padfoot, I guess I’ll share a room with you for a whole week. If I have to shag you senseless I suppose I will!’ Bloody good actor you are.”

art by: @sybillgray @likeafunerall @nasttkss @greenlights33

Not the simple things like— can you lend me a quill? Or, would you shut your trap?— but rather the things that haunted him. Scarred him in a way that fended off his peace.

Sirius often couldn’t sleep because of his dreams and had panic attacks whenever his trauma was triggered— but he always insisted he was okay and refused to ask any of his friends for help. He always joked about it and brushed it off as a passing thing, something that’d come and go and no one had to worry about.

But when Sirius and Remus finally started dating— Remus saw sides of him he hadn’t been given access to before.

Sirius turning incessantly in his sheets due to recurring nightmares, Sirius’s eyes losing focus whenever he got a letter from home, Sirius’s breathing reduced to shallow breaths— the things he had been trying to hide from all his friends, Remus could finally see.

And the first few times Remus tried to help, Sirius snapped.

“I don’t need your fucking help, Moony!”

“I’ve dealt with this before, quit fussing.”

“I can take care of myself!”

And every time Remus’s answer was the same— a gentle I know, but he never pulled away.

Remus never took Sirius’s words as a dismissal— because everything Sirius couldn’t say, his hands said for him.

It was something Remus had picked up on. Sirius despised asking for help, but that didn’t mean he didn’t need it.

So Sirius would say some prickly words as if it were second nature to refuse help— but his hands stayed gripping Remus’s wrist. Always.

If he were having a panic attack, he’d insist he didn’t need help while his hands pulled Remus closer. If he was having a nightmare he would try and brush it off as a joke while his hands came around Remus’s neck to hide from them. Whenever he tried to get Remus to leave him alone while he was having an episode, but his hands stayed firmly wrapped around one of Remus’s wrists.

Remus learned to read the signs.

And Sirius eventually taught himself to accept the help his loved ones gave him. He found physical touch kept him grounded, he told Remus that he needed him around desperately whenever he was unsettled and he began actively seeking Remus out whenever he felt an onslaught of emotions coming on.

It was scary, no doubt— it made Sirius feel as if he were being stripped down bare in front of another human.