#coolquotes

Before I get into this don’t steal any of these please and thank you.

-”They faked my death.” he said, astounded. Then he smiled. “That just made things a whole lot easier.” 

-”Well, I’m no king, am I?”

-”These thoughts circled around my head like vultures, picking at my happiness until they had pried enough away to carry it off.”

-He looked down at his now blood-splattered clothes. He grinned. “I knew this outfit was missing something.”

-The phrase “ignore it and it will go away” does not apply to being chased by a dozen cop cars. Trust me on this one.

-”You’re hot!” “Thank you.” “No- with a fever you idiot.”

-”Who. . .  are you?” “I’m your long-lost cousin twice-removed of course. Just kidding, I have no idea who I am. That’s sort of the problem.”

-”Go ask someone else for food.” “Ok *goes over to someone else* Can I pleeasee-” “Next time you beg it will be for mercy.”

-”I nearly didn’t make it,” he said cheerfully. “The roof collapsed just as I was leaving. The stuff is unharmed, which is more than I can say for my nerves.”

-”You know, I think a bandage looks good on me. What say you?”

-”Say cheese.” the guard sneered. “Provolone, you trigger-happy toaster oven.” [character] spat. *this one sort of needs context but I hope its still funny*