#convoluted

Instead of killing his target, he gets another bounty hunter to do it, and SHE gets a droid to deliver poisonous millipedes from the Pits of Hell to do it.

None of it succeeds.

He became his own memory, half-living and half-breathing, the night he opened that libretto. The bookplate was ignored, and the contents were internally set to music in his fervour. How it got into his house remains a mystery; he scarcely remembers his future, the man he became after that night. Rose-tinted glasses colour what he is and what he has been; the Mandela effect has been embedded and vitrified into the deep, alien scars on his back.

He fears the change. He fears the termination of everything. Why does the world have to advance apace? Things were better in the past, weren't they? It becomes so tempting to let it all fall back, to regress, to devolve, until there is nothing left but fantasies and haze in the night air. And I am afraid.

The first one to mention him wished for her name to remain anonymous; she was a high school student. She'd said that his clothes had been moving; something had made the back of his letterman bulge to the point of resembling a hump, or a dorsal fin. He talked, and then his voice grew hazy, and when she came to, she knew she had forgotten something.

I clutched my tape recorder as I looked into her face, seeing more familiarity than I cared to.

If it had been my choice, his body would have remained inside old pictures, locked behind the tall wrought-iron fence of his house. I think of who he became in the future, sometimes. I think of how it would have been so much better for me if he were to keep hiding.

I didn't want to meet him. But God had other plans.

The trees whistle, lovers' promises etched into their skins.

He smiles. His teeth are too bright.

There is a never-ending moment before me, moving, walking, advancing towards my side of the park bench, and its name is Henry Hidgens.

(Wasnt sure whether to label as head-canon or theory due to how this is mostly just a bunch of coincidences, in this essay i will-)

I believe his birthday is March 24th 1987, making him 22 years old at the beginning of season one.

Facts-

1. His birthday is March 24

2. Season one takes place in the fall of 2009

3. He had to help his dad in their falafel restaurant because post 9/11 racial-profiling was destroying the business

4. He grew up watching the 1964 Rankin Bass movie Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer every Christmas

5. Abed is older than Troy

6. Abed is younger than Britta

7. Dan Harmon, in the behind the scenes for the episode G.I. Jeff, cited Abed as being “too young” for the G.I. Joe episode to be centered around him

Why these matter-

1. See #4

2. See #5

3. Abed would’ve been 14 at the time, making him the youngest possible age he could legally work in a restaurant

4. Rankin Bass Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’s first, and earliest, home media release was on VHS in 1989. This would’ve made him two years old, closer to three years old by Christmas of ‘89, a very formative age and good time to start a tradition. One could argue that he and his mom watched it when it aired on tv but we see at the end of Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas that they are watching it on a VCR. It doesn’t seem like too much of a stretch as we see multiple times in the series that Abed has an extensive dvd/vhs collection

5. In Mixology Certification, Abed’s ID and being legally able to drink are not considered an issue, unlike Annie. He is seen legally drinking (presumably) in Communication Studies, making him at least 21. In the same episode, Jeff references the fact that Abed apparently doesn’t drink. This makes it sound that he can, but just choses not to.

6. Amongst other instances, in Investigative Journalism, Britta says “Vacations are wasted on the young” while referring to Troy and Abed.

7. In this Interview/Behind the scenes, Dan Harmon talks about how the plot came to be, “‘This must have something to do with Abed’s psychosis, why is Abed seeing things as 80’s G.I. Joe? Why would he do that? He’s a young fella.’ And that conversation led to ‘Why are we asking about Abed?’.” G.I Joe ran from September 12, 1983 –November 20, 1986. I personally don’t believe this rules out that he wasn’t born yet or that he never watched it, it’s more so Dan Harmon and the other writers being so adamant that this was before Abed’s time, to the point where they opted for Jeff instead, that makes it seem worth noting.

so so convoluted. russians, if you are willing to pay an apartment in kyiv, it’d be an emigration and you’d be an ukrainian and you’d be in the same shoes as anyone in ukraine not to have your sovereign right be conquered by any foreign hostility.