#control whump

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D knew the risk he was taking by using the home entertainment system to search for Toby’s videos. Aaron had promised that nothing would happen on this island without him knowing about it, and that likely included activity on any devices that connected to the WiFi. For all D knew, Aaron was in his room right now, watching the living room on a feed, putting pieces together in his head and already planning what to do about Toby. 

The thought made D’s chest hurt so badly he could barely breathe.

But he’d cried for two hours already that night, the sound muffled by his pillow. It had only been three days since he’d had contact with Toby – three days since all phones were taken from Aaron’s friends – and already he felt like a memory from another lifetime.

It felt like his very soul, the very fact of him, was slipping away.

So here he was, leaning on his knees with his hands pressed to his face as he watched Toby move with ease around the kitchen, whipping up a dish that D hadn’t paid attention to the name of; he was caught up with Toby’s slick movements, with every glance he threw at the camera lens, with every twitch in his cheek that could have been a smile. 

His hands were up to hide his tears. And even at that, crying was dangerous. Emotions in general were dangerous. Emotions would give him away. Emotions could cost him everything.

“What do I do, Toby?” D whispered into his palms, barely recognising his own voice. “I can’t... I can’t take it anymore.”

The video ended with Toby taste-testing some chocolate-based dessert and waving goodbye to the camera. D gulped and resisted the urge to wave back, reminding himself that the smile on Toby’s face wasn’t specifically for him.

He let the next video play, deciding that after this one, he would search some other random channel names and dilute Toby in the search results, should Aaron decide to pull them up. 

He just wanted to enjoy these last few minutes, warm his heart slightly before ducking away into the cold again.

Even though his eyes were already trailing to the left, towards the blinking red light in the left-hand corner of the living room. To the glassy eye that let him know that he was always being watched.

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Clip from a livestream entitled, “Beach-Warming Party”, in which Aaron and Friends drink spirits on the south beach of the private island, with the newly-built mansion overlooking them in the background. They also take questions from fans typing in the chat.

Sterling and Lori, is it weird still being friends after the break-up?

one user asks. Morgan half-heartedly reads it out between sipping her beer.

Lori: I, ugh, that’s – come on, guys, we said we’re not gonna talk about this publicly.

Sterling: It’s a little bit sad, actually...

Lori: Sterling, stop. We don’t owe them any kind of explanation.

Sterling curls her knees up to her forehead and hugs herself, letting out a very muffled sob. Yusef leans over, glassy-eyed, to give her a hug.

Aaron leans forward to block most of the camera’s lens with his head.

Aaron: We’re gonna take a short break, Friendlies, but keep your questions rolling in!

The clip ends.

...

As soon as the livestream is paused, D, Lori, Morgan, and Sterling watch helplessly as Aaron grabs Yusef by the back of their shirt and peels them away from Sterling. Yusef almost trips in the sand, but they are flung by Aaron before they’re given a chance.

The stars are the brightest they’ve ever seen them, and they might have enjoyed it if they hadn’t also been staring up at an irritated Aaron.

The cocktail of spirits seems to have streamed straight into their blood; they don’t know which way is up, they don’t know which plant is making their skin itch, they didn’t know why their body aches from impact with the ground.

Aaron hisses, practically frothing at the mouth. “What the fucking fuck was that?” 

Yusef whimpers in confusion and worry. They can barely remember the start of the livestream, let alone remember what they’ve done to get in trouble.

“Come on, Aaron, it was one hug. Yusef’s a hugger.”

Aaron turns on Sterling as soon as she tries to approach. “Not on-stream, they’re not.”

“We’ve all had a lot to drink,” she reasons tearfully.

“Villians don’t hug people when they cry, Sterling!” Aaron screams. Everyone still huddled by the camera jumps. “Villains don’t give a shit if another person feels bad.”

“Yusef doesn’t have to be a villain.” Sterling gestures mirthlessly towards Yusef’s cowering form on the ground. “The viewers aren’t going to care if there’s no villain.”