#control dramas

Poor Me's don't ever feel they have enough power to confront the world in an active way, so they elicit sympathy, pulling energy towards them. Always pessimistic, Poor Me's pull attention to themselves by worried facial expressions, sighing, trembling, crying and retelling poignant dramas and crises. Initially they seduce by their vulnerability and need for help, but are not really interested in solutions,  because then they would lose their source of energy. Behavior ranges from convincing, defensive, making excuses, repeatedly explaining to trying to solve problems that are not their business.,

Intimidators get everyone to pay attention to them by force of loudness, physical strength, threats and unexpected outbursts. They keep everyone on edge for fear of triggering anger and in extreme cases, rage. Energy comes toward them because of the fear and suspicion of the "next event". Basically egocentric, their behavior may range from ordering others around, talking continuously, being authoritative and inflexible to being violent.

The 1st step in stopping your pattern is to become very clear about the ctrl drama you learned as a child. Do you get belligerent, impatient, rigid, angry, intimidate and dominate others? (Intimidator) Are you suspicious of others? Do you needle, remonstrate or interrogate them? (Interrogator) Do you keep your distance and play hard to get, avoiding situations where you must reveal yourself in order to avoid judgement? (Aloof) Are you always complaining and refocusing on problems, pessimistic, pulling attn to you by sighing, worried facial expressions, retelling poignant dramas and crises? (Poor me)