TW Rape, Sex, Torture, Slavery, Abuse
I’m unsure if I was on anon for my last post but if not please post this one instead
I am very open about being fictionkin/Otherkin but there’s one identity I’m not sure I can ever fully confess. Almost every time I’ve admitted it before, I’ve been shamed and accused of being a racist piece of shit.
I am a slave archetrope. In my past life, I was a slave (white and in a “fictional” medieval setting). Whenever I bring this up, I’m blamed of appropriating black slavery in America, despite me never claiming to have experienced it.
This past life is extremely important to understand the person I am today and my experiences in that life still affect me strongly. I get violent memories of being raped or tortured. I still have a lot of feeling for people I met in that life, both good and bad. I could just call myself a servant or prostitute, but neither of these fully encapsulate the hell I went through.
There are good memories too. A man, a prince, saved my life and gave me the freedom I so desperately needed. I miss him so much and long to be back in his arms. I am forever grateful for his kindness and love. I am eternally devoted to him and hope to find him again one day.
I want to be able to speak openly about this experience, to speak of the horrors I went through and the trauma it left me with. I went through so much but I survived. I fucking survived but I can’t tell anyone because of the immediate backlash I always face. I just want to be able to share these experiences that form so much of my being.
Am I wrong for feeling this way? Should I just turn my back on my past and deny these experiences? Is it okay to talk about this painful yet amazing life I lived?