the small gay rodent thinks your kitty(piper!!) is very cute! (please dont let it eat me! /joke) also i am scampering across ganymede's shoes once more! - small gay rodent
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The day after Thanksgiving is when our Christmas begins. We put up decorations and the tree and then our holiday season ends in the middle of January. I had meant to post this sooner but it’s been hectic lol but y'all already know the deal.
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“I’m so glad you could come with me,” Aelin says and loops her arm around mine. “Elide didn’t believe me when I said the lines wouldn’t be so bad.”
“Mor told me the same thing.”
“And where is she?”
“Hung over. She’ll be doing all her shopping from the comfort of her bed.”
“So smart… But I have no patience for online shipping.”
We put the bags in the trunk of her car.
“You still haven’t gotten anything for Cassian,” she says as we get in the car.
“You haven’t gotten anything for Rowan.”
“Touché, Archeron.”
I roll my eyes and laugh.
“What did you get him last year?”
I hate that I blush but Aelin is busy backing out to notice.
“I wasn’t working last Christmas… But I painted a few pieces for everyone. What did you get Rowan?”
“Two things- One present to open in front of family, and another for when we were alone.”
When I look at her, she’s grinning and wriggling her eye brows.
“Christmas is also when Cas and I started getting… closer. We didn’t actually do anything until New Year’s but that’s beside the point.”
“What do you give a man who has everything?” she muses.
“I-”
My phone vibrates and I pull it out of my pocket. Adela Rodriguez tagged you and Cassian Rodriguez in a post.
“What is it?”
“Cassian’s mom… she posted something on Facebook- and tagged me in it.”
“Well, what is it?”
I tap the notification and watch the screen change from my home screen to a picture of Cassian and I with her. Cassian is standing behind us, trapping us in a bear hug. Adela and I are laughing.
“It’s us… She wrote me something… Mi yerna querida, gracias por amar a mi hijo como el se merece.”
“And she speaks Spanish, too,” Aelin deadpans before giving me a smile.
I laugh. “Says the musician… But yes. I practically lived in their house, so I learned…”
“What does that mean, though?”
“My beloved daughter in law, thank you for loving my son the way he deserves.”
“Oh, my god. That’s so sweet! How did dinner go with them?”
“It was amazing. I can’t wait to get the Christmas card in the mail. I’m in it this year.”
“That’s adorable.”
“What about you?”
“It was really nice… Aedion and Lys came over with Evangeline. Manon and Dorian stopped by with Elide and Lorcan. Fenris and Connall always spend the holidays with us, they brought the dessert this year.
“Rowan’s parents passed away when he was really young, as did my mine… Rowan isn’t close to his family- Only his cousin Endymion. My uncle Gavriel and cousin Aedion are the only family I have left, well by blood. There are uncles and all that, but they weren’t in my life until I was already an adult.”
Aelin spoke so frankly…
“I’m sorry, Aelin.”
“I- Thank you, Feyre… Holidays aren’t the easiest but in the end, we choose our family and I’m really lucky to have been able to find them.”
“In that I completely understand.”
Aelin pulls into the parking lot of the pet store.
“Where are your parents?” she asks me and I shove my hands in my pockets, the action making me think of Rhys. Of countless times I snuck out of my house to knock on their door.
“Suburbs… But I don’t speak to them. Neither does Elain- Our older sister, Nesta, she still talks to our mother.”
“I haven’t met Nesta yet.”
I sigh. “You probably won’t.”
Aelin raises a brow as we step into the store.
“Nesta and Cassian dated when he started college. She treated him like shit and she has the nerve to be upset that I’m with him now.”
Aelin whistles.
“Well. My friend Yrene is married to my first boyfriend, Chaol. They’re having a baby. My best friend Dorian was my… something at one point and he’s with Manon, another friend of mine.”
“Cassian and Rhys aren’t brothers by blood… But I kind of dated Rhys, too.”
“You know… that doesn’t surprise me.”
“No?”
“You remind me of Dorian and I. Because of your history, your connection to one another is deeper than anyone else- and it’s obvious.”
“It was fake at first,” I say and Aelin gapes at me. I roll my eyes and walk right to the dog aisles. “His girlfriend dumped him for some college guy so I kissed him in the parking lot to piss her off and then… That was that.”
Aelin cackles and throws an arm around me.
“That is the best thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”
“And Lucien… Well, people used to think we three were a thing.”
“Were you?”
“No… Not physically anyway.”
“Ah. Gotcha.”
I grab an elf’s hat and an antler head band.
“Let’s see what Cas thinks.”
“I like this, too,” Aelin adds, taking what looks like an ugly knitted sweater. It’s adorable.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and send Cassian a text. Elf or Reindeer? Though there’s ugly sweaters I like.
Dressing up for me, bunny?
I roll my eyes. No, dumb ass. Valo’s Christmas picture.
Cassian sends eye roll and thumbs down emojis before giving me a real answer.
Reindeer… But ugly sweater. Get both?
Alright, my love. Thank you. See you soon.
*
Elain is standing outside of my house, leaning against her SUV.
“I was just about to call you,” she says as Aelin and I get out of her car.
“Cas is probably in the shower or something,” I say as I fish for the keys in my pocket.
“No. He left with Az.”
“What?”
“Did you forget what day it is?” Elain is smirking. She hugs Aelin and I before helping bring my bags inside. I don’t hear Val.
“Oh fuck,” I say, which makes Aelin laugh.
“What’s today?”
“Their fucking football game. I completely forgot!”
“And you have to be there,” Elain says. “It’s tradition.”
“Is this where all the boyfriends and girlfriends cheer their men on?” Aelin teases.
I look at Elain who’s smile goes wicked.
“El.”
“Yes, Feyre. Even Lucien is doing it, and he’s playing, too.”
“Okay, I want to know what ‘it’ is,” Aelin says and crosses her arms.
“Let’s hide these in my art room,” I mutter and they follow after me. “Elain, Lucien and Adela have matching jerseys with their respective partner’s name- which is fucking adorable. But then there’s the fucking face paint and the pom poms-”
“Oh, my fucking god. Rowan has a game today- Please tell me Rowan is playing against Cassian.”
“He is, actually,” Elain says.
“I wear my high school cheer outfit every year,” Aelin happily adds. “Sometimes, I prefer it when Rowan’s team loses. The sex is amazing when he’s cranky.”
Elain laughs.
“Same with Az.”
“Wait, I don’t have one. A jersey, I mean.”
“That, baby sister, is where you are wrong.” Elain reaches into her enormous bag and hands me a folded jersey. “Had it made after you told me you were official.”
It’s black and white, with red letters. There are the numbers ‘07’ on the front and Cassian’s name on the back. It is so ridiculous and yet…
*
Aelin is waiting for Elain and I in the parking lot of the park. She has her hair in pig tails and she’s wearing a green and white cheer outfit with long sleeves. She even has pom poms.
“Elide is here already,” she says as she slips her phone into the pocket of her skirt and then she looks at me. “Damn, Feyre, I didn’t know you were hiding all that under those clothes.”
I sigh. I kept my hair down and tied the jersey at my waist, right where my long-sleeved white crop top stops. I paired them with waisted red leggings and the black, red and white sneakers I’ve had forever.
“Cassian isn’t going to be able to focus with all that ass.”
Elain snorts.
“And don’t act like I don’t see you, Elain,” Aelin says playfully. My sister blushes.
Aelin introduces me to her friends, all of them so beautiful I’m left dumbstruck. I introduce them to my sister as well as Adela and Elyse who immediately offered them sandwiches and coquito. There is music playing loudly and Iliana is dancing around her father who is absentmindedly spinning her around as he talks strategy with Lucien. Valo is rolling around in the ground with Aelin’s dog, Fleetfoot- a dog she and Dorian adopted together long before she and Rowan became a thing.
Amren is here as well, to my surprise but I see Varian chatting with Fenris and his twin brother, Connall- he made the boys’ team even. I see Cassian standing next to the tallest man I’d ever seen- brutally handsome with long black hair, tied up in a messy bun just like Cassian has his.
And then he sees me.
Aelin slaps my ass and winks before I walk over towards him. I hear her calling for Rowan in a sing song voice behind me.
“Hello, handsome,” I say as Cassian pulls me in for a kiss.
“I was going to ask you what you got me for Christmas,” he whispers into my ear as his hands wander down to grip my ass. “But it looks like Christmas came early.”
“Stop it!” I laugh and he kisses me again.
He seems to remember that his friend is standing there still. He isn’t smiling, but his eyes are alight with amusement.
“Bunny, this is Lorcan. He works with Rowan. Lor, this is my girlfriend, Feyre.”
I give him a wave.
“Hi.”
“So you’re the girl in the picture,” he says and I look at Cassian expectantly. He laughs and rubs the back of his neck.
“What picture?”
“It’s nothing,” he says and punches Lorcan’s arm. “Let me introduce you to the guys.”
Lorcan smirks but when I hear Elide call his name, he smiles. A real smile. Cassian takes my hand and guides me away.
“What was that all about?”
“He’s an ass.”
“Clearly. But really, what picture?”
Cassian sighs. “I’ll show you later.”
I raise a brow and Cassian kisses me.
“Please?”
“Alright, Rodriguez. I won’t forget.”
“I’m counting on it.”
Fenrys is one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever met in my life. Like Rhys, and Dorian. He is just as flirtatious as Aelin and Cassian are but his twin brother is way more reserved and I am not surprised to see Connall navigate towards Azriel. Aelin’s cousin could pass as her twin brother but he also reminds me of Cassian in a way.
“Evangeline is amazing. I love having her in class,” I say to Lysandra and Aedion who are looking at her fondly. Evangeline is blushing. “I can’t wait to see what you come up with for the art show.”
Rhys and Lucien finally show up, with Helion and Aurelie in tow.
“Sorry we’re late,” Rhys says.
“You went black Friday shopping, didn’t you?” Cas asks and Rhys just shrugs.
“He and Mor were gone all morning,” Lucien replies and Rhys looks at him as though he’s been betrayed. “Hungover my ass.”
“Well, I’m here now!”
Lucien rolls his eyes and ties up his hair.
“I will ask one of Rowan’s friends to switch with me so I can kick your ass,” Lucien snaps at Rhys.
“Do it then.”
“Hey, I know you two like to argue as foreplay but this is Feyre’s first game as Cassian’s girlfriend,” Azriel says in a rather saccharine tone. It’s almost condescending. “Let them have their moment.”
I can’t help but laugh as Rhys and Lucien practically pry me away from Cassian to apologize and hug and kiss me profusely. I can hear Adela scolding Azriel but the tone in her voice is jovial.
Vinny calls for them to separate into teams. Lucien does in fact switch places with Fenrys, who is all too happy to be on ‘the team that Feyre is cheering for’.
I take my seat beside my sister and Adela as everyone takes their place on the muddy field. Vinny is acting as goal keeper. I had always cheered the boys on, though Elain and Adela are always the most vocal. Nothing has changed in the way Cassian smiles when our eyes meet, or the way I jump to my feet to cheer him on as he makes a goal. I just can’t believe I’d never noticed it before. I have been to nearly every one of Cassian’s footballs games, even when he was dating Nesta. I’ve seen him lose some, seen him win but it never gets old.
Aelin is betting Elide that Cassian is going to hand Lorcan his ass while Manon shouts at Rowan’s team- she should have been a coach. They don’t get into a fight, but it is obvious they are not used to actually having to worry about the opposing team. It’s amusing, but I know that someone is going to be bruised and aching later.
When the game is over, I am not surprised that Cassian’s team won but I am caught off guard as Cassian makes his way to me and lifts me off my feet. He kisses me, ignoring Elyse’s sounds of disgust. When we stop to breathe, I smooth his hair away from his face.
“Your football games would have been so much more fun if this was how they ended,” I say teasingly. Cassian laughs. “That was a good game, Cas.”
“I am beat,” he says as he sets me down.
“You guys were showing off.”
“Of course,” he says as he throws an arm around my shoulder. “I have to impress my girlfriend.”
I poke his side. “You don’t have to impress me. Win or lose, I am always proud of you.”
Cas looks at me and smiles.
“Hey, Cas!” Lorcan shouts as Elide hands him a small ice pack. “Rematch next weekend?”
“You’re on Salvaterre!”
Elide and I share the same look of exasperation.
*
“So, bunny, I made a stop or two before Az and I went to the park.”
“Did you?”
I follow him into the garage. He turns the light on and there are several bags and a large box…
“You got a Christmas tree?”
I walk right over to it and turn it to see the picture. It’s pre-lit, which is smart and has little red berries in it.
“If you don’t like the ornaments, I’ll go change them for something else.”
I give him a look before I look through the bags.
“Red and gold is perfect, Cas.”
“You sure?”
I nod. “Can we put it up tonight?”
He smiles. “I was hoping to.”
“Perfect.”
“I want to shower first though…”
I wave him off. “I’ll go preheat the oven for cookies and put a movie on.”
*
I pull a pair of stockings out of a bag and laugh.
“Cas, you didn’t!” They are red knit stockings with our monograms on them in white, there is even one for Val. “I love them so much.”
“Where should we hang them up?”
I look around the living room and my eyes fall on the little accent table he has against the wall where he’s setting up the tree. He keeps the remotes and controllers to his game consoles in there among other things. He has a few picture frames on it but nothing more.
“If you’re not opposed to putting holes in the wall… Maybe we can put a little shelf up there? I can put lights and our Yule log up there and then hang the stockings from it.”
Cassian looks at where I point to and gives a nod.
“Yeah… I think that would be nice. Let me get the tree up and then I’ll go see what I have in the garage.”
Once the tree is up and plugged in, Cassian disappears into the garage. I start putting up the ornaments- red and gold traditional ornaments, glittery birds and butterflies, snowflakes and icicles. I hear hammering and then the loud clang of the hammer falling before the drill goes off. Val and I look towards the garage curiously.
Cassian comes back with a shelf and the drill, as well as the leveler ruler.
“Tell me where,” he says and I set the box of ornaments down to mark the right spot on the wall. Val barks as Cassian drills the nails into the wall but stops when Cas looks back at him. Once the shelf is up, I hand Cassian the Yule log to set in the middle, then the candles decorated with holly and pine before he carefully arranges the white Christmas lights around them. He hides the switch behind one of the candles.
Cassian is grinning after I finish putting up the stockings and I find myself blushing.
“What?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know… It’s nice. Getting to do this with you.”
I slide my arm around his waist.
“It is, isn’t it?” I lean into him. “I’ve never done this with anyone.”
“Neither have I.” He presses a kiss to the top of my hair. “Outside of family, anyway.”
I laugh. “How did you even manage to find a shelf so quickly?”
“Oh… Well, it had been meant for the guest room but I never got around to it so it had been sitting in the garage since I got the house.”
“I’m glad I was able to give it purpose.”
“Yeah… you do have a tendency of doing that.”
I poke his side. “Stop it.”
“Seriously… Anyway, let’s go finish the tree. Rudolph is starting soon and I want to be laying down by then.”
“We have that movie on DVD, Cassian.”
“But you know it isn’t the same.”
I sigh and roll my eyes. But I know he’s right.
*
I come back from the kitchen with a plate of cookies and a mug full of milk. Cassian is sitting on the sofa with his sketchbook on his lap while he flips through the channels.
“Here,” I say and hand him the plate before I pull down the little arm rest of the sofa to set the mug in a cupholder. It’s a perfect excuse to take his sketchbook and sit on his lap. I reach for the blanket and drape it over our legs as he slides an arm around me, holding me against him.
“So, I had free time at work the other day and was just… drawing bullshit. Warming up. Az wants to add to his sleeve but he hasn’t decided how. Anyway, I was sketching some shit out and I got this idea.”
Cassian sets the remote aside and opens his sketchbook. I’m mesmerized by all that I see as he flips through it and then he stops.
“It wasn’t supposed to be you, but when I started drawing her face… I couldn’t help it.”
“This is beautiful, Cassian.”
She’s a faerie of some kind, with wings like a bat rather than butterflies and a crown of moons on her head. Her dress isn’t complete, but I can tell it will be a gown of some sort.
“Lorcan saw it when he and Rowan stopped by to go over our plans for today.”
“I hope you finish it.”
“Yeah?” He kisses my cheek.
“I’ll let you tattoo it on me somewhere.”
“Bunny, don’t tease me like that. You know Rhys has been trying to be the one to give you your first tattoo.”
“He can give me my second one.”
“You serious?”
“I mean… why not? I would wait until Christmas break though-”
Cassian kisses me.
“I’ll make you something better than this. I promise,” he kisses me again. “But first, our movie marathon.”
“There,” I say as I step back and look at the mirror I hung up. I hated the damn thing, every year he put it up and every year I jumped when something else appeared in my reflection, but Cassian wanted a haunted house… So that’s what he got. We spent the entire night before decorating, but I still have one more thing to do.
I walk outside to the backyard where Cassian is finishing up with the tables and chairs.
“Hey, I’m all done,” I say and Cas sets the last chair down and smiles.
“Yeah?”
“So… I have to go get dressed.”
“The sun isn’t even down, bunny.”
“I know but Mor-”
“You’re leaving?” He looks so mortified I feel bad. I take his hand in mine and sigh.
“I’ll be back. I promise. We’ll both be ready before anyone shows up. I’ll help you with the paint and all that.”
He says goodbye- albeit begrudgingly, and I head out before Valo notices.
*
Mor is way too happy when I get to her house. Her hair is up in rollers and she’s dressed in a short white robe.
“Does he suspect anything?”
“We didn’t really have time to talk about that.”
“Christ, you two are like-”
“Don’t fucking say it. We were decorating.”
“Whatever you say, bunny.”
Mor shrieks and runs off before I can swat her arm.
After I shower, I walk into Mor’s room in one of her pretty robes. She looks like she’s up to no good.
“So your costume isn’t here yet,” she says as I sit on her vanity chair.
“What?”
“It’ll be here soon. Promise. Your make up is going to be easy,” she says and she grabs her tablet off the vanity table to show me. “We’ll be done quick. Then I can focus on your hair.”
*
“Darlings! I’m home!” I hear Rhys shout and I glare at Mor through the mirror.
“Rhys?”
“Where else can we get a season one Dany outfit on such short notice that looks like the real thing?”
“But he’s had like what, two days?”
Mor smiles as a knock comes to her bedroom door.
“I told him what Cassian was going to be weeks ago.”
“And what if I said no to Daenerys?”
“I’m always prepared, Feyre, darling,” she says in perfect imitation of her cousin. “Rhys, the door is open!”
Her cousin steps in and he immediately notices my hair. He grins.
“You’re exquisite, Feyre.”
I blush. “Thank you.”
“I stopped by your apartment for your boots,” he says, holding them up before he pinches my cheek. He sets the black dressing bag on her bed and unzips it. “The dragon brooch I did not make but it was too easy to find. I used leftover faux leather from Cassian’s costume to finish that bit that goes over your pants. Don’t worry about the wraps for the hands. They’re more like gloves made to look like you sat there and wrapped your hands in leather.”
“Rhys…” I get up and stand beside him. “This is too much.”
“Nonsense, darling. It was good practice.”
“So… with the wig…”
“The top zips up in the back. The pants are more like leggings. So it’s all stretchy.”
“You’re the best.”
“Thank you, darling.”
Mor steals her cousin away, ordering me to change.
I can’t wear a bra with this top but Rhys is a godsend and lined it with a soft fabric. The pants are so form fitting I’m glad I brought two different sets of underwear to choose from.
“Holy shit,” Mor says as she walks into the room and mockingly gets on one knee. “Khaleesi.”
“Shut up,” I say but find myself laughing. Mor gets up and motions for me to twirl, which I do.
“Get out of here,” she says, giving me a tight hug. “I’m sure your Khal is waiting.”
*
I unlock the door to Cassian’s house and step inside, sighing with relief to be away from the cold. Valo comes running to me and I laugh, scratching behind his ears. I send him off playing with one of his toys. I take off Cassian’s jacket and hang it in the closet before I look for him. He isn’t outside, but I see the lights are going and the smoke machine is on.
The door to his room is open and I hear him muttering curses. I step inside and set my bag on the floor.
“Need help?” I ask and Cassian jumps, turning around. His eyes are wide as he takes me in and I start blushing. I avert my gaze to see the brush and paint in his hands.
“Give me that,” I say and walk over to him. Cas relinquishes both brush and paint but he’s still just staring at me.
“Your hair,” he says softly and I laugh as I open the paint and set the lid down on his dresser. The water bottle and cup I left for this exact purpose is untouched.
“It’s a wig. Sit down.”
Cassian sits down on his bed while I activate the paint with water. I stand between his legs and begin to lightly mark where I have to paint and ensure they’re even on both sides. Cassian’s hands settle on my waist and I giggle when he brushes his thumbs across my skin.
While I begin to paint the left side of his chest and shoulder, he uses his right hand to reach up and twirl a strand of loose curls. I already see the question in his eyes and I laugh.
“Do you know how much work it would take to maintain this color?”
“It’d be worth it.”
“I’ll think about it.”
Carefully, I slide out of my boots and climb on the bed to sit behind him. I begin to paint the lines that go down his back and I notice him watching me through the mirror.
“You sure I shouldn’t have covered up my tattoos?”
“For what? This is decorative. And I like your tattoos too much to hide them.”
*
Elain and Azriel are the first to arrive. My sister has brought cookies and cupcakes, and Azriel is carrying an entire cake. They’re dressed up as Prince Eric, Ariel and Melody. Elain has a red wig on styled perfectly but Iliana doesn’t need one. Her black hair is up in a pony tail, and the crown Elain made is identical to the one from the movie.
“Auntie Feyre,” Iliana says as she picks at her salmon pink dress, “Are you matching my tio? Daddy told mommy that you are.”
“Uh… Yeah, my costume is from the same show as his. Just like you’re matching your mom and dad.”
“Does that mean you’re married?”
I nearly drop the tray of cupcakes. Iliana smiles, reminding me of Azriel when he was up to no good.
“Lia, let’s get going,” Elain says as she walks in from the back porch. “Daddy’s waiting for us outside.”
“I’ll see you later,” Iliana says to me as she slides off her chair. I set down the tray and kneel down to hug her. Loudly, she whispers, “Daddy says I can stay up late because we’re having a sleepover with you and tio.”
I look up at Elain who just smiles.
“Then I’ll be sure to hide some candy for you. We’ll sneak out and share.”
I walk them out and bring the big bucket of candy to leave outside on the doorstep. Az gives me a knowing smile before he takes Iliana’s hand and walks to the neighbor’s house.
*
Cassian is taking shots with the boys when I walk outside. It’s too cold for this outfit but I’ve had enough whiskey that I’m a little warm.
“Jalan atthirari anni!” Cassian shouts when he sees me. I barely have a second to think before he’s got me by the hips and lifts me up. “I missed you.”
“You’re such a dork,” I said which only makes him laugh. “Having fun, my sun and stars?”
“Yeah, but it’ll be better now.”
The way he smiles at me makes me want to kiss him. Badly. But a bright flash interrupts us and we turn to find Mor holding out her phone.
“Perfect!” she says and goes off to pester Rhys and Lucien, who are dressed as Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. It doesn’t dawn on me that she’s dressed as a femme Draco until Andromache walks by as Hermione.
Cassian puts me down and takes my hand, leading me to the drinks. We take a shot and then another before I hear his name being called. We turn to see Amren on the porch, leaning on her sword while she talks to a very tall man with silver hair. There’s a beautiful woman beside him who reaches out to touch the pauldrons of Amren’s Mulan costume.
“Oh, shit,” Cas says excitedly, and takes my hand. “Come on.”
I let him lead me to them and I am taken aback by this woman’s eyes and the tattoos on the man’s face.
“Rowan! You made it!” Cassian says, letting me go to shake hands with Rowan before the two embrace.
“Amren was just telling us how she and your brother made it together,” the woman says.
“Oh, yeah. Rhys. He made our costumes this year,” Cas says and casually points over to where Rhys is, “dueling” with Mor. Cassian sighs. The woman fixes her turquoise and gold gaze on me and holds out her hand[LS1] .
“Since these two have no manners, I’m Aelin,” she says as we shake hands. I laugh.
“Feyre.”
“Oh! Our hopefully new art teacher!”
“You’re Ms. Galathynius? I’m sorry I didn’t get to see you that day, to say thank you.”
“It’s perfectly fine.”
Aelin loops her arm in mine and flashes me a smile that tells me she and Rhys are going to get along far too well.
“Have fun boys,” she says. “My new friend is going to show me around.”
Rowan claps Cassian on the arm and I barely manage a wave before Aelin is leading me off.
I introduce her to Rhys and Lucien, to Mor and Andromache. Nearly everyone. Amren and Varian knew her already, as did Azriel and Elain. Kallias somehow had met Rowan before but Thesan was friends with someone named Manon who knew them all. I didn’t ever get a real chance to know any of Tamlin’s friends so this was nice. Being around Cassian’s friends who he’d made on his own, separate from Rhys and Az, made me feel something I didn’t have a word for.
The living room is packed with people dancing but it’s not hard to find Cassian or Rowan. Aelin lights up at the sight of him.
“It was so hard to convince him to dress up as assassins,” she says. “Boring old buzzard… If he had his way, we would be home sleeping.”
“You guys look amazing.”
“So do you! I was Dany last year but season 7. Rowan made the perfect Jon with how cranky he always is.”
“Did you go to Mor’s party?”
“No… My best friend Elide had her house warming party else I would’ve gone. Cassian talks about you all so much, it’s nice to finally put faces to names. Especially you.”
She winks at me.
Aelin jumps on Rowan’s back when we make it to them. Even though he curses, he still holds her up.
“Let’s dance old man,” she says and plants a kiss to his cheek. He walks off, still carrying her on his back.
“Wanna dance?” Cassian asks me and I smile.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
*
I’ve got the cabinet open when Cassian walks into the kitchen.
“Hey, I hope you’re not trying to clean. I’m leaving that shit for tomorrow.”
I laugh and take a shot glass out of the cabinet.
“I wanted a drink.”
Cassian stands behind me and places his hands on my hips and leans over as I grab the bottle of tequila. There are limes in the glass bowl we had set out earlier in the day. I’m surprised there are any left.
“Did you have fun tonight?” I ask him.
“Yeah… I’m… I’m really glad you got to meet Ro and Aelin.”
“So am I.”
He rests his chin on my head and I sigh.
“Sleepy?” I ask him and he chuckles.
“No… But I’m wasted, bunny.”
“No more ‘moon of my life’?” I tease. “I was liking that.”
“Yeah?”
I nod, pouring my tequila in the glass cup.
“Where’s the salt?”
“It’s just for me and the bowl’s all out.” I point at the now empty bowl.
Cassian lets me go and grabs the salt from the cabinet. I watch him roll a lime on the counter before finding a knife and cutting it into fours. He puts salt in his left hand, avoiding the leather wrapped around his palm, and goes to sprinkle it on the back of his right hand but it clings to his fingertips. He tries to shake it off but I grab his wrist.
“Hold still,” I say and lick the salt off his fingers. It’s hard not to blush with the way he’s looking at me. When I’m done, I take hold of his hand and take the shot. I give him a grin.
He pins me against the kitchen counter when he kisses me. He takes the glass from my hand and I hear it against the marble counter. I get on my tip toes and Cassian chuckles and holds me against him.
“I’ve wanted to do this all night,” he says as I place my hands on his chest.
“Why didn’t you?”
He kisses my neck and I hate how I dread the answer.
“Cas?”
He stops kissing me and hauls me onto the counter. He places his hands on my thighs.
“I… I wasn’t sure if you would be okay with that.”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
Cassian shrugs.
Smiling, I run my fingers through his hair before I kiss him. I feel him wrap his arms around me and I twine my fingers in his hair. Cassian swiftly holds me against him, my legs wrapped around him as he walks to his room. He kicks the door closed before setting me down.
I help him out of that heavy belt before he’s trying to figure out how to take off my top. I laugh and reach back to pull on the zipper, letting Cassian do the rest. We undress in a hurry, moving closer to the bed until I’m completely bare and the back of my legs hit the bed. He pushes me and I laugh as I fall back on the bed and kick him away before moving further up the bed. I lay back against the pillows and reach for him as he settles himself between my legs.
There’s something different in the way Cassian kisses me. In the way he touches me. As if I were something not entirely fragile, but precious, maybe. I’ve never felt this close to anyone, and the intensity of it would have scared me once- but this is Cassian. I don’t have to be afraid of anything anymore, not with him. So I surrender to this moment, to these feelings that I’ve been so afraid to acknowledge. I surrender myself entirely to Cassian.
I don’t know why there are tears in my eyes when we’re done but Cassian kisses them anyway. I’m afraid to speak, afraid to break whatever spell we’re under. I don’t want it to end. Cassian lays on his back and pulls me into his arms and I can feel how fast his heart is racing. I’m trembling, but it has nothing to do with the cold. Cassian pulls the comforter over us anyway.
“I love you, Feyre,” Cassian says. His voice is hoarse. Not one day goes by that I don’t hear those words from him, but never like this. Never in the act, never immediately after.
“I love you, Cassian,” I say back, my heart ready to burst in my chest. Even saying it feels different and yet… I feel like I’m finally breathing.
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I legitimately created a whole AU exclusively to write this.
—
Zhaire brushed a finger along the crystal chimes on her tree, closing her eyes to listen to the pure quiet ring. The night had wound down to soft yellow candlelight, the low melody of Christmas carols from the stereo. Unconsciously, she found herself humming along, her hips swaying ever so slightly, slowly dancing under the twinkling lights and the through the comforting and age-old scent of cinnamon and fresh fir.
Malavai could not help but pause and sigh at her beauty. A vision in scarlet, accented in gold. Sparkling, ethereal, a daring goddess in a low-backed dress and . Entranced, he forgot the glasses in his hand, forgot how tired he had been at the party, how much energy he’d expended keeping himself from her. She shimmered as she moved, a jewel that stood out from all the common stones he’d seen at her party; beyond beauty and flawless.
“You’re so beautiful.” He heard himself say, stirred from his walking dream to move to her side. She melted into his touch meeting his edges to meld against his side.
“Did you like the party?” Zhaire asked, fluttering her heavy lashes. She smelled like cider and the perfume he bought her.
“A distinct success,” he murmured, losing his being in her deep grey eyes, breathing in the scent of her hair. “But I admit a difficulty in keeping my distance.” Zhaire smiled and looked to him, a glowing tease to the light of her eyes and the corners of her mouth. In her warmth she relaxed, shedding the hardened skin of the politician and public face to simply be a human and simply be his.
She turned her head to kiss him lightly, accepting the glass from his free hand only to set it aside. Pulling him towards her, Zhaire kissed him again, far more directly this time, her nails digging into his sides, a present and prayer. In a nearly-missed moment of honesty she admitted, “I found it hard too, I hate pretending we’re nothing Malavai.”
Cradling her cheek, Quinn pressed his lips to her forehead. “I know.” Yet the world always seemed to come first.
“Let’s forget about that tonight.” Zhaire guessed his thoughts, whispering into the backdrop of festive lights and the strains of ‘White Christmas’ gliding along the warm currents of the room. “Everyone is gone, it’s simply us.” She wrapped her arms around him, falling back to the rhythm of the music and holiday that pulled her along, swaying. “Dance with me Malavai.”
Quinn drew a tight breath. Although every fiber in him warned against becoming further involved with his superior, they also begged to let go and relish every damn second he could be hers, to savor every private look and the way she shone, a ruby-red gemstone in the low aura of the empty ballroom. He traced the hemline of her dress, caressed her bare back and allowed her own touch to remove his last feeble restraints. Saying no was not an option anymore, if it ever was to begin with.
“Is that a directive, my lady?” Returned his tease, a sensual hiss, mostly a playful continuation of their game, but also a last ditch effort to pretend this wasn’t exactly what he wanted.
Zhaire’s mouth twitched, her smile faltering before returning, her eye’s by far more honest. “I don’t want it to be. If you don’t want this, tell me.” ‘Please’ didn’t have to follow for him to understand her beg. Her grip loosened as she made to give him room, only for Malavai to draw her back. No, this was their time, what he’d been waiting for weeks for, an interim so long that his heart had near failed him often, throwing caution to the invisible wind and betraying his impatience and longing.
“I want this more than anything.” His truth brushed her ear as they moved out to the center of the room where just hours before the previous dance they’d performed had been one of calculated masked professionalism. Quinn’s heart swelled at the sight of her resting against his shoulder, of the arc of her body against his, of the way the light washed away all the lines of worry and stress from her face. A well of emotion rose in him, daring to bring an end to the remnants of his composure.
Instinctively he kissed her, bridging the pause before ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’ began, an outlet for the elation of sharing such an intimate moment. “You are perfect. In every essence of the word.”
The young senator opened her eyes, tightening her embrace and removing every inch of space between them. Her lips moved as if something needed to be said, but she lacked the words for it, instead settling to gaze into him with such a raw, peaceful look, Malavai knew what she meant.
“I should have gotten you a present.” She finally said as the two completed their last leisurely turn on the dance floor.
Quinn sighed, content. “You did. Being with you here is enough.” A glimmer caught his eye, and he glanced up, bemused by the shining sprig of mistletoe above them.
“You moved us over here didn’t you?”
Zhaire hummed, and kissed him once more, answering, “Merry Christmas, Malavai.”
