#commodus headcanons

Exactly what it sounds like. I've been very Commodus-brained lately...

Thank you so much for the compliment, anon. I hope you're doing well, and I sincerely appreciate your patience with me.

Commodus believes that children are the future of the empire, so he would take great measures to ensure them the brightest future possible

He would build schools accessible to his citizens, and hire the finest scholars as instructors and tutors for schools within the city.

hey there!! Thank you for requesting Commodus, his tag is a bit empty and I’m sorry for the delay, but I hope you like these headcanons for my baby Commodus and i’m so glad you enjoyed my work for your other ask :)) 💚 have a wonderful day!!!

Commodus Headcanons

SFW! Headcanons

• Possessive, possessive and, possessive. He will put anyman that looks at you too long through the wringer and a half and, if a man tries to put his hands on you, thinking you a shy maiden, they will die by his hand and his hand alone. Though he knows your unwavering loyalty, he assures of you of his in the most... unnerving ways. You wished he could interpret his feelings beyond the barbaric facade, but you know well that would be asking him to change everything that made you fall for him in the first place.

• When he is wed to you, he rids himself of concubines after you asked him, angrily, “What if I had had man after man with me? How would you like that?” After his matrimony, he is never seen without you, your hand in his at all times — to say he can be a bit clingy is a definite understatement. He needs the peace of mind to know where you are at all times, not that you mind; you love being by his side, like his little lapdog.

• If you didn’t like PDA before, you’re gonna have to now because Commodus hands and lips never leave you, settled on his lap at battles, at hearings, meetings, if he’s sitting down and you aren’t on his lap, his agitation settles in and his thumb will always point down at battles. The man is only happy with you as his lapwarmer, arms wrapped around his neck, lips on his cheek and nuzzled into his side in the public eye as an announcement to say: The best in the kingdom is mine and mine alone.

• Complies with every little desire you convey. You eye fine jewelry a bit? The next day it’s on the nightstand. You want a new scarf? In the closet nicely wrapped the next day. Window shopping with him is a weird affair, as anything you glance at seems to just pop up in your shared quarters the next day him stomping in with a proud grin proclaiming, “Anything for my darling, anything for you.”

• Before you, he never was one for late nights and waking in the late morning, but the nights he spends with you in your quarters at night, giggling with each other like new teenage lovers has him rising a bit later, all with you nestled with him under fine linens as the sun blares down on you two through the windows. When he saw you, he wanted you as his only wife, his only lover and sweetheart and, after he woos you fully, you became the first one to genuinely warm his heart and had him feel true, unwavering love. For that, he owes you everything on the green Earth your little heart desires.

NSFW!Headcanons

• He is only merciful with your body if you specifically ask that of him because, otherwise, he will leave you wobbly the next day, making him grin as you pass others in the halls by his side. He fucks you like he wants an heir that night.

• As basic as it seems, his favorite position is spooning, holding you tight as he fucks you raw, smacking your ass as he pounds you, whispering romantic nothings in your ear as he makes you quiver. He sleeps with you in his arms the same way and knows you love waking up full of him, full of his cock, in the middle of the night, first thing in the morning, and right before you go to bed.

• His face is always focused on the faces you make, maneuvering every position to be able to see the faces you make, contorting and moaning like a whore as he pumps into you. He finds you even more intruiging to look at as he sees the anomoly of wide-eyed looks you give him, pecking his lips sweetly like he isn’t fucking you silly.

• While his pace is fast and rough, he kisses you like you’re the sweetest things, he pecks at your cheeks and neck, kissing your head and forehead with a loving tenderness no one else would ever see. He leaves you covered in his hickeys; your thighs, ass, shoulders, chest, and neck all a purple hue by the time you two finish, his cum smeared around your needy hole, setting out a revealing robe to show off his work on you the next day, settled on his lap at a conference, moving so he gets hard under you, barely covered by the white cotton he picked for you.

Groaning along with the rest of the class when Maximus reminds the teacher about the “surprise quiz” she was planning to give.

Giving occasional glances at the green-eyed boy in dark clothing seated at the back of the class, whom you later learn is actually named Lucius but insists on going by his last name, Commodus

And secretly wondering what kind of music he’s listening to in his earbuds while walking through the hallways

Listening to popular girl and Queen Bee Lucilla tell everyone her brother goes to a different school

Being “wooed” by Maximus and his friends to sit with them in the cafeteria during lunch 

Whether you choose to sit with them or not is up to you!

Rolling your eyes when Gracchus and his friends make fun of Commodus when he tries to speak in class

What is so wrong with the way Commodus defends Romeo dying for love? Or the eloquence in which he recites his lines?

Applauding along with the rest of the school when Maximus and his rock band perform at the school talent show (because they’re actually really good at performing)

But also being the only person who applauds when Commodus decides to perform a monologue from Dracula or the original script of Hamlet. 

Being entertained in general everyday at school

“Are you not entertained?!” “Why yes, I am.”

(Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or images. This is just a fun listicle, not designed to offend anyone. Yes, I know many of these breakfasts were not invented during the Roman Empire. This is just a list of which ones they might be suited for. Without any further ado, please enjoy!

As always, please feel free to leave comments and/or constructive criticism below. Thank you!)

Maximus: Oatmeal

Aside from my Maximus-is-boring conviction, oatmeal is considered to be one of the most healthiest breakfasts (even though it truly isn’t). 

It reminds me of Maximus because of his holier-than-thou attitude towards Lucilla and Commodus, which is not unlike how oatmeal claims to be better than other breakfasts. 

I don’t imagine Maximus putting anything on his oatmeal (because he’s boring!) but I don’t know - maybe I’ll be merciful and hope one day he decides to put some fruit or honey.

Lucilla: Yoghurt Parfait (next to her Bellini of course.)

Just like a yoghurt parfait, Lucilla has many layers to her. While we first meet her as the princess of Rome, we are introduced to her many sides throughout the film: a loving daughter, a determined conspirator, and of course a dear sister. 

In addition, yoghurt parfaits may look healthy, but with the right amount of honey and sweet yoghurt they could be more sugary than a pastry. 

For Lucilla, I’ll paraphrase the Emperor’s quote - I would not want to be the enemy of this intelligent, powerful member of royalty. 

Marcus Aurelius: Frittata

For those of you who don’t know what a frittata is, it’s an egg-based Italian dish that is like a tart but with no crust. Combined with meat and vegetables, it’s a brunch dish fried over low heat.

I think it’s perfect for the war-weary Caesar looking for some warm comfort in the form of a hearty dish and maybe a hug from his loving, strong daughter. 

Lucius: Crumpets with Jam and Butter

These little English breakfast cakes are perfect for the pint-sized darling from Gladiator. Always delightful and irresistible, there is nothing wrong with a crumpet with butter in the morning. 

I can picture Lucius peacefully spreading marmalade or strawberry preserves on one of these while his family is unsuccessfully trying to break the tension at the table. 

Senator Gracchus: Avocado Toast

Avocado toast, unfortunately, has a reputation for being a ‘pretentious’ and ‘overrated’ food (aka it has been considered ‘bougie’). 

Unlike this stereotype, the Senators are actually pretentious and a little overrated. Elected to represent the people of Rome, these members of the government seem to be a little too elite to understand the problems of the commoners (as pointed out excellently by Emperor Commodus.)

On that note though, I do confess to eating avocado toast at least three times a week. My apologies to anyone who likes avocado toast - it’s actually really tasty and a perfect option for vegetarians & vegans.

Quintus: Toast Soldiers

Toast soldiers is just an informal name for strategically-cut pieces of toast served with a soft-boiled egg. These thin pieces of toast were said to be similar to soldiers in a parade. Typically, one would eat this by dipping the toast into the yolk of the egg, which would be somewhat runny.

I didn’t choose this dish solely because of the name, although I do think General Quintus would like his breakfasts to be immaculate and organized like his troops.

Proximo: Oysters Rockefeller 

This is a rather unconventional brunch option, but in the U.S. it can be found in several upscale restaurants as an appetizer. These baked oysters are topped with a rich, butter-based sauce with herbs and breadcrumbs & garnished with lemon.

Proximo would certainly like these in the late morning, slurping these as he counts the money he made from yesterday’s gladiator games.

Juba and Hagen: A traditional English Breakfast 

I don’t usually combine characters in a listicle, but I think this choice was just perfect for the both of them.

Also known as a ‘fry-up’, this breakfast is perfectly wholesome - just like these two characters, whose presence honestly make for some pretty good scenes in this film. It is obviously more than what the gladiators are fed in the film, but they really deserve it after all they’ve done.

Emperor Commodus: Eggs Benedict with a Bloody Mary on the side

As you know, I always save the best for last.

Eggs Benedict is an American breakfast dish consisting of two toasted English muffins topped with poached-eggs, ham or bacon, chives, and Hollandaise sauce (egg yolk, melted butter, and lemon juice). 

The main reason I chose this dish for our Emperor was because of its complexity to make, but also I chose it for its history. This dish was invented in New York in 1894 when a hungover customer ordered the ingredients (toast, sauce, bacon, poached eggs). As many chefs adopted the dish, it became more gourmet over time and now is considered a luxurious item on menus.