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“Why are you looking at me so much?” he asked, almost on the defensive, did you pity him?

“It’s not everyday that I get the chance to be so close to the reincarnation of Hercules.” you answered shyly.

“Are you not disappointed by my sight?” he pushed, thinking he might have looked so weak for an emperor.

“Not at all, your Highness. I am quite amazed actually…but I will say no more, I wouldn’t want to offend.”

You felt his fingers gently sizing your chin, yet you could feel he could hurt you if he wanted “Tell me.” He ordered you.

“The rumors were true, you trained like a gladiator, you are of very strong constitution, like Hercules. You held the sword and yet your hands are immaculate, and soft…and you have a beautiful face that could make Apollo himself jealous ....” You told him, hoping he wouldn’t be offended by your indecency. Commodus found himself taken aback, he could see when people lied to him and you seemed honest, not answering out of fear or to flatter his ego; he huffed, he was just pleased, it was amazing how so little could warm his heart, and it made him realize how much he craved to be complimented or even to receive affection.

“The Emperor cannot allow himself to be weak, he has to be ready to defend his own people by his own hand. As for my beauty…I can only say that if I am as beautiful as you say I should go make an offering to Venus to thank her for such a gift.” He smiled, and you looked at him as you ate, he had a beautiful smile, charming and yet boyish. You and the fallen Emperor looked at each other in the eyes, for too long perhaps, why? You didn’t know, somehow it felt nice, until you started to feel your face getting red again, he retained a chuckle, you were quite adorable.

“Tell me, my lady. When do you think I should be able to stand?” he changed the subject, getting a little flustered perhaps.

“Oh well I think you could stand right now but you wouldn’t need much effort to faint. You lost a lot of blood; you need to eat well and rest to recover better for at least three to four days. And then I will free you from this house.” You smiled, almost affectionately.

“I don’t have to complain about your treatments so those few days will probably be a pleasure. Not every man has the luck to be taken care of by such a lovely woman.” He complimented you and you swore you turned as red as the flag of the Empire, he wasn’t any man, and once again he was of a rare beauty.

“You honor me, your highness.” You bowed you head at him, internally freaking out. You didn’t know how to act around this man, you respected him, sincerely; but he was so different from what most people said about him, he was kinder, more charming, friendly and gentle. Perhaps the only thing that seemed true to the rumors was a childish spirit, he had a mischievous glow in his eyes and a boyish smile. And he was attracting you…no, you had to keep that for yourself, control your feelings! He was an Emperor of pure blood! You were nothing, you didn’t stand a chance except perhaps for carnal pleasure like a whore…but you would never lower yourself to such thing, you would keep yourself for your future husband, not by tradition but romantism. You pushed yourself out of your thoughts, you shouldn’t be thinking about this man in such interested way. “I am afraid I will have to leave you for a few hours, I have objects to sell, grain to get for the household and I would like to go to the news at the forum and see if I can answer any of your interrogations…who took power, what is going to happen…” you listed, determined. You saw the young man nod in approval.

“I would appreciate it. I am anxious to know what is going on. And what is said about me…” he admitted, briefly looking down, he seemed truly afraid to be rejected and hated. You instantly got up, eager to serve him, you bowed at him once again and were about to head for the door.

“Wait. I have a question…this seems to be your bedroom, if I slept in your bed and I thank you for that; where did you sleep? Did you stay on that stool? on the floor?” he was genuinely worried, he had been raised as a gentleman and he would hate to force a young beautiful lady to sleep on the floor because of him. But you didn’t understand it that way, you thought would get angry if he knew the truth.

“My apologies, your Highness. I laid in the bed by your side…you were unconscious, and I thought I could…I won’t happen ag-…”

“Oh good and it shall remain that way, I would never make an attempt on your virtue and I am convinced you would do the same.” You looked at him dumfounded, was he suggesting that you kept sleeping by his side even when he was fully conscious?

You swallowed down “Very well your Highness, it will be done so.” You agreed and he nodded, almost bowing his head at you, meaning that now you could leave for your day. “If you have any problem, call loudly, Attia is here all day along, she is the mother of a family who shares this house with me. She will bring you lunch, and I shall see you again this evening.” You informed him as you left, taking all that you needed for your day of labor and errands.

You had barely met this man, and you didn’t know him and yet as you went on your day, he never left your thoughts, you were intrigued and getting attached, something you had never allowed yourself to do before…as you sold the different items you had found the day before, you regretfully sold his armor, unfortunately it was too obvious to be kept but you didn’t sell his rings, they were worth a fortune but…you couldn’t do it for an unknown reason and instead you kept them securely around your neck on a necklace you had since you were a child, maybe you would give it back to him. Soon came the moment you had been waiting for, grain distribution, you were a bit late and hundreds of people were already gathered, the plague had increased the famine. Thanks to your small size you managed to go to the front, pretty much unnoticed, opening your jar to fill it, you hoped to get as much as possible, you and the family of Attia needed to eat, at least bread. Soon, the crowd went silent, eagerly waiting for the grain to be distributed, there was an atmosphere of fear all around, the stomach of the People of Rome were grumbling and soon they would be filled with rage…

A man finally came, escorted by guards, he wasn’t just there to give grain, he had an announcement to make. “People of Rome! The delivery of grain to Rome is not guaranteed anymore, for this reason, we have to preserve what we have in case of rough times! Grain will now on be distributed once a week!” he announced and instantly was followed by the angry screams of the crown, everyone was already hungry, how could you survive with even less! The senators and nobles never had to suffer hunger, they even vomited to eat more like Saturn swallowing everything on its way to destruction. As expected people started fighting when they distributed the grain, trying to get more, and to your regret you had to fight too, but this was survival, you had to; as soon as your jar was filled you ran out of the angry crowd, quickly heading to the forum, the atmosphere in Rome in the coming weeks as going to be chaotic again, it had been so peaceful under both Marcus Aurelius and Commodus, and to think he was alive…could he slay his opponents and take back the throne? Save you all? Maybe…

“Listen all! Announcement from the Senate! Announcement from the Senate!” said a man who told the news as always, you had never seen so many people gathered around him. You approached, already anxious about what he was going to say “The Senate declares: By the pathetic show he gave in the Colosseum, Commodus has proven himself a coward and shameful heir of the great Marcus Aurelius! He was also a murderer who attacked the real heir chosen by his father, the great General Maximus, dead as a hero! Maximus will be given grandiose funerals like he deserves.” started the man, everyone was silent, yes the show in the arena had been very entertaining but no one had expected the Emperor to die, and many were happy of his reign unlike the elite of that city. “The sister of Commodus, Lucilla is in this instant making sure the powers are fully transferred to the Senate, Rome is to become a Republic again!” he added and earned unhappy noises from the crowd, to the people it meant chaos, the Senate serving itself, privileges and more poverty “For all the harm Commodus has caused, the Senate has declared Damnatio Memoriae over Commodus, his name will be erased from public records and monuments and his statues destroyed!” to this people gasped in surprise.

“Bullshit! I have fed my family better under his reign!” screamed a man angrily.

“He brought peace with our enemies and secured our Empire!” said another, he was treated like Nero but he wasn’t that monster! He was the worthy heir of Marcus Aurelius! More people chanted in protest and you clenched your jaw, furious as well, he didn’t deserve to be treated that way, it was obvious the Senate didn’t like Commodus and did everything possible to ruin his memory. This wasn’t going to end well, a revolt as you thought since the beginning. You shook your head, you hated this city more and more, you were even feeling sick of staying at the forum, you just wanted to go home, to him, Commodus had no power anymore and yet, the idea to be by his side comforted you.

You had probably never walked so fast, feeling the tension, anger and worry grow in the streets. You were starting to think it was better for you to leave Rome, perhaps try to get a quiet life far from this mess…soon you reached your home again, you could hear a few giggles, it seems at least the children were having a good time.

“And I showed him my sword and told him that if he disrespected me again, he shall embrace someone dying of the Plague.” You heard the voice of Commodus say, making the children laugh again.

“Yes! Mom, later I will teach respect like Aelius does!” said Titus enthusiastic, Aelius? It seemed to be the name Commodus had chosen to protect his identity. As you entered you noticed the children sitting on the bed with him, Commodus was happily smiling, he seemed to love children and Attia appreciated that he entertained them better than her own husband.

“Good evening Y/N, how was your day?” asked Attia as soon as she noticed you. You approached and gave her the jar of grain and also some fruits and a cheese you had bought with the money you got from the items you sold. “Oh that’s perfect to eat with the fish Albus brought.”

You sighed with a sad smile “Tough day, and I fear tomorrow will be too…how is Aelius?” you asked, not wanting to tell her the details yet.

“Doing well, he is a big guy and he talks in a funny way, like a noble! You got yourself a very charming man!” she smiled at Commodus who chuckled, this woman truly thought they were lovers.

“Attia!” you turned red, looking at the man, sorry for her words.

“You flatter me Attia. I would be honored if Y/N gave me such compliments.” He smiled charmingly, making you widen your eyes, really!? Could he be a charmer too!?

“Huh…can I talk to you Aelius? privately?” you retained a stutter, trying to keep your face impassive, it felt strange to talk to him as if he was a friend. He nodded, keeping on playing his role as Attia took her children away and left the room, closing the door behind you both. You took a deep breath and approached, coming to sit on the stool next to the bed.

“So, tell me everything. You don’t seem to bear good news.” He stated, coming back to seriousness, of course it couldn’t be good news, but he feared how bad they could be.

“The free grain distribution is going to be only once a week from now on…” you sighed and at those words he clicked his tongue in disapproval, his index lightly brushing on his lower lip as he thought about the reason for that decision.

“My ‘death’ and the new person to power must displease the governors and maybe even generals. They don’t trust the new person in charge so they retain the grain supply…I had a lot of support from our provinces and maybe even some would like to take the place as Emperor.” He stated and you had to agree, it actually made sense, you had heard the loyalty of the provinces was often tied to the Emperor himself and not the Empire or some other reason. “That would be a good argument for my return. What else?” he asked then, he was hoping to take back power, but it wouldn’t be so easy.

“Well…I feel very uncomfortable to tell you this but this is what they said at the forum: they publicly insulted you, saying you never were an Emperor and…” you took a deep breath, you hated to tell him such thing “They declared Damnatio memoriae on you, your Highness.” You told him, looking down in respect before looking at him to see his reaction. He was looking in front of him, in emptiness, his jaw clenched, his lower lip trembling and his eyes wet, it was a shock for him, he had done a terrible thing but he had been a good Emperor! Once again, his hopes and dreams were crushed, the Senate wanted to erase him from History, but he was going to make sure History remembers him.

“Highness?” you called him, starting to get worried.

“I am no Highness anymore, haven’t you listened?” he replied harshly, it wasn’t against you but right now he didn’t feel well at all, his heart was racing, he felt like exploding, screaming his rage to the world. “Leave. Leave me alone now!” he ordered, almost yelling at you under the emotion, making instantly jump from the stool, you understood he needed time alone, he was terrifying in that state so you hurried outside of your bedroom, closing the door behind you and leaning against it, you didn’t know what to do, the truth was violent and maybe it could never be repaired.

Suddenly, you were pushed out of your thoughts by noises from inside the bedroom, at first you didn’t know what it was until you recognized whimpers and sobbing…Commodus was crying, his heart terribly hurt. No matter how hard he tried, there was always someone to break him more. Somehow, even if you didn’t personally know that man, you felt he had a deep wound in his soul, you felt him lonely, abandoned and you couldn’t leave him like that, so you decided to face his possible wrath and enter to bring him a bit of comfort. You quietly approached as Commodus completely ignored you, perhaps too lost in his tormenting emotions, curved into a ball and hugging himself. Slowly, you placed your hand on his shoulder, showing him he wasn’t alone in that hard moment; to your surprise, he reached out to your hand, but his grip quickly got stronger and before you could react he was pulling you to him, making you fall on the bed, you gasped in surprise, but soon calmed down as he wrapped his arms around you to hug you.

“Oh Commodus…” you couldn’t help but call him by his name, you were starting to understand how much he needed that sort of gesture; so you wrapped your arms around him, gently rubbing his back and pressing him against your chest, then caressing his dark hair. You could have feared he would get mad at you for being so intimate with him but clearly he wanted your comfort.

“Please don’t stop...please…” he whimpered, nuzzling against your breast, his hands clinging to your tunic.

“By the gods Commodus...what have they done to you?” you murmured sadly, this wasn’t a man child, was a man who had been broken since his childhood.

Commodus Harem: