#comment response

Bad Faith IS promising to do something you know you have no intention of doing.

Bad Faith IS knowing you are doing something selfishly while pretending to be altruistic.

Bad Faith IS denying your obvious reality.

Bad Faith is NOT believing that an Author's intentions are flawed or failed to be executed.

Bad Faith is NOT reading malice into something that wasn't intended to have it.

Bad Faith is NOT "making mistakes".

Bad Faith would be extrapolating that Medrano is a rapist herself due to her love of the trope. Or claiming to think poorly of Medrano in order to rile up other people's emotions when you really don't care.

It is a Lie, not a Disagreement.

There is no truth in art, and no "right way" to interpret what you see on the screen. The way people feel about Stolas' and Blitz's dynamic will never be "Bad Faith". Because it is a wholly real and unique experience to those who have interacted with the material.

So the main disagreement is that I see Stolas as a narcissist based on his patterns of behavior. And the irony is that as Medrano has become more insistent of trying to "correct" that image, the more it actually reinforces the perception for myself and most other people. This is not bad faith, this is now miscommunication.

Additionally, Death of the Author is NOT Bad Faith. It is a literary reading of the story with the intentions of the author removed to reflect how the work the Author made is connecting to those engaging with the material.

It says so much that Medrano and her ilk believe we are lying about how her work makes us feel due to the poor quality of writing and direction. In fact, the assumption of dishonesty is itself a source of bad faith when it is used in this manner. Not because it perceives malice, but because it creates a false reality for the simple objective of not having a fair conversation.

Instead of seeing that once art is made public, everyone is allowed to have their own experience, or even acknowledging that the fact Medrano is asked so many questions to clear up her bad writing to even consider that maybe she is actively failing as a director as well. Instead we are somehow inauthentic because we don't agree with her, because she feels entitled to her work even after letting it free.

Which, if that isn't a great encapsulation of the problems between the characters of the show themselves, idk what is.

To breakdown this wall of text, this person is saying that Stolas meant "Ravish" in a way that is no longer in use.

The commenter insists that Stolas was actually referencing Blitz having previously stolen from him as children. And somehow extrapolates a bizarre fantasy of Blitz having returned a quarter of a century later to also steal Stolas, like Blitz stole all his stuff.

To be genuinely frank, the idea that this is readily accessible to any degree is demented. The term Ravish being used in this way is not a good term. This goes into bad writing, because I think we all have ideas of what certain words mean.

When I say sad, I mean a gloomy heaviness of an emotional kind. Like the grey cloud over someone's head that may start raining at any moment. It's a feeling of a depressed and subdued mood. Whereas the word distraught means frantic. High, negative energy. It's a panic-stricken sadness. Or even Depression, where the feeling of sadness may not even be tangible, but the similar oppressive heaviness inside one's soul is almost palpable. Grief-stricken is almost like a sense of fear mixed with sadness. A form of painful emotional horror that consumes the victim with a deep and pervasive sadness.

Words have built in connotations.

Ravish under the archaic use literally implies violence as a default. To Ravish something from someone implies the use of force. Meanwhile, the more current definition of Ravish still implies an almost carnal instinct. Something sudden like a viper's strike, but instead of venom it implies bliss. It is still implying something abrupt and physically stimulating.

And if you do not have a wide vocabulary, you will inappropriately misuse words by not understanding their implications. So while this may be a retconned, or even valid explanation from Medrano herself, it doesn't work on multiple levels.

In writing, it doesn't work because everyone who first saw that scene believed Stolas was implying that Blitz had come to have sex with him. Mainly because of this:

It's clear from this sequence that Stolas is viewing Blitz sexually. It contradicts the idea that Stolas had any other intentions, specifically because we see this from his perspective with the pink haze of lust and infatuation around Blitz. Add to it the unnecessarily awkward porn talk by the Hellhound guard and Stolas' blushing after the fact, we know what Stolas is feeling and thinking through nonverbal direction. And he's definitely not thinking about that giant bag of stuff Blitz stole from him.

Second, it contradicts Stolas' character. He's supposed to be intelligent. He finds Blitz's really obscure horse joke funny, but it is only funny to people who know things. We see Stolas' favorite things are books by how he is going through his library with young Blitz when they are children.

So Stolas would know the implications of a word like Ravish. It could have worked if Stolas was in some way upset over Blitz stealing from him, but he clearly is not from the moment they lay eyes on each other. Ravish would never be used for unimportant trinkets. The connotation is that it implies a struggle or having something precious taken from you against your will. And Stolas, being book smart, would know this fact. So him misusing the word in such a way also breaks his character, because it shows the book-smart guy is actually unable to learn from books.

Meanwhile, this is Blitz:

Doesn't take much rocket science to see Blitz is scared. The dynamic is on full display on how Stolas feels (he's seeing this as a porno script) and Blitz feels literally helpless. It's clear in this sequence that Blitz's is trying to gain some control over the situation only for Stolas to shut him down. And Blitz is both resigned and intimidated. He doesn't know what to expect going into this room and it's clear he doesn't think it is going to be anything good.

So when Stolas throws out that Blitz is there to "Ravish" him, you see Blitz concoct the scheme to get the book in real time.

When Blitz says "Oh, yeah...!" You can see it animated on his face how he is trying to come up with a plan to gain some ground. He sees the book, has a thoughtful look while the "Sexy music" plays (another layer of clear indication that Ravish was always intended to mean something sexual by Stolas) before leaning into the setup.

And here Stolas outrightly refutes the belief that he ever thought Blitz came to steal from him. Theft does tend to fall under "nefarious" actions, and if Stolas believed Blitz broke in to steal from him while everyone was distracted at the party, well, he wouldn't be saying this. He genuinely thinks Blitz is there for him specifically.

This line prohibits the audience from linking together the current situation with Blitz's childhood actions entirely. It signals that Stolas either doesn't care at all about Blitz being a thief, or he doesn't even realize he was stolen from to this day. So the idea that "Ravish" was in reference to that setup is soundly put to bed.

Then the two sit down and Stolas starts wanting to "reconnect", like an awkward coffee date after a one night stand. Due to the absolute strangeness of his horny fantasy, it's a good faith assumption that he wants this to be more than just some random sex, he wants a connection. Asking what Blitz does for work and getting panicked when Blitz admits to being an assassin.

Frankly, the best bit of characterization is that Stolas legitimately thinks for a second that Blitz may have been hired to kill him.

Nora and Manee’s rivalry is definitely a deeply rooted mixture of hatred and fear for one another, beyond just a normal sibling rivalry.

Even before the two were spice runners and in their early childhood; fights were frequent, though most would simply chalk it up to siblings being siblings. Manee would commonly slack off around the farm, refusing to work and pushing whatever chores she had to do onto Nora. It goes without saying that conflict over this was common, usually starting with screaming matches before evolving to a physical altercation.

As they got older, these issues only worsened. Especially once the two became spice runners and smugglers for the Pyke Syndicate. For a little while, Manee and Nora worked together, just the two of them. Manee as the pilot and Nora doing nearly all of the rest of the work. Whatever mistakes were made between the two generally erupted into more arguments and insults. Manee normally aimed her anger and frustration at Nora, even if it was Manee herself who originally made the mistake. Nora was blamed. It wasn’t until after Manee begun recruiting some friends of her’s to join the crew and spice running operation that things took a turn for the worse for Nora.

During a heist of some kind, Nora was caught, arrested and taken into custody. Manee simply left with her small crew of friends, abandoning Nora for the first time. Once she’d finally been let out, Nora managed to return to Manee, much to her dismay and annoyance. Nora was none-the-wiser to this, still clinging to the belief that Nora being left behind was nothing more than an unfortunate turn of events. A few more times, Nora was thrown to the wolves to be arrested and taken into custody, eventually resulting in Nora managing to escape prison on a few different occasions and, foolishly, returning to Manee and her slowly growing crew of friends.

It wasn’t until the ship was raided by a small time band of pirates and robbed of their shipment of spice that would end up being the straw that breaks the eeopie’s back. Negotiating a deal between her and the pirates, Manee had given up Nora as an added bonus to help secure the deal. Hesitant, but with no other choice at this point and fearing of what the Pykes may do to them for their failures; Nora silently accepted this deal and so did the pirates. Unfortunately for all of them, Manee never came back to upkeep her end of the bargain and never returned for Nora. Nora was ultimately put up for auction and taken to the spice mines of Kessel.

COMMENT RESPONSE IN VERBATIM

OKAY SO, buckle in my friend because you have activated my ADHD research deep dive mode. For the record and some context as to where I got all this; I have a BSc in Psychology, and did a research masters in cognitive and clinical neuroscience. Throughout both degree programs, I've written every single paper I could choose the topic for about some aspect of ADHD. (I do not have a license for psychotherapy yet, but I am getting one.) I also just have ADHD myself. What I’m trying to say is: I know way too much about ADHD and now I must tell you about it because what else am I supposed to do with it — ANYWAY … I should probably structure this somehow so it’s less overwhelming. We’ll try this:

Medication

Strattera/Atomoxetine (ATX); how it works, why it may or may not be working for you

Stimulants; how it works, evidence regarding the risk of dependency and abuse, connections to other substance use (since you mentioned nicotine)

Long-term treatment plans; factors to consider / questions for you to evaluate for yourself

RSD — probably a rant, first; why buzzwords are counterproductive even if the experience is 100% valid

Emotional dysregulation; research again, also potentially about meds

rejection sensitivity slkjdsjfs it escalated, help

Community and peer support

Yes? Yes. Feel free to skip any parts that are too sciency, if that doesn’t interest you!

First of all, congratulations on your diagnosis! You’ve already made one of the hardest steps. But let’s get into it, shall we?

ADHD Medication

Non-stimulants / Atomoxetine (ATX)

I must say, I am quite surprised that you were prescribed ATX as your first option, given that stimulants are very firmly established as first-line treatment.

Regardless, a couple of facts about it: ATX is a selective noradrenaline (NA) reuptake inhibitor, which also affects dopamine (DA) levels, specifically in the prefrontal cortex (PFC) because— well because brain chemistry. (I’m trying very hard to keep this simple, can you tell?) Basically, the idea is to regulate DA levels through an indirect mechanism via NA. And that works pretty well, generally. ATX is effective for approximately 50-60% of people, and the effects reach moderate strength.

Now you said that you don’t really notice any effect; that can have several possible reasons:

It just doesn’t work for you; 50-60% of people show a response, sure — but the other 40-50% do not! Unfortunately it is possible that you simply are part of those 40-50% non-responders.

The exact mechanisms of that are still unclear, but there are many factors that might influence someone’s drug response, including individual differences in metabolism, genetic factors etc. --- we’re still researching that

ATX, unlike stimulants, doesn’t necessarily have immediate effects. Full therapeutic effects are generally not evaluated until at least 2-3 weeks after starting it. That also means that the effects can develop slowly, which can make them harder to notice because it’s a somewhat gradual change.

On top of that, if your doctor is even the slightest shred of competent (which I hope), they’ll probably have started at a fairly low dose, meaning that;

you might just not feel it yet, but the effect may still emerge

you might need a higher dose; if that’s the case, this increase is generally done step-wise and quite slowly, to monitor the effects (and side-effects) properly. I suggest asking your doctors about what kind of trajectory they have in mind, so you can decide whether that suits you.

You mentioned mood swings; definitely mention that to your doctor! Psychological side-effects of ATX should be closely monitored

Note that this is especially important if someone has (potentially undiagnosed) comorbid disorders. I don’t know whether that’s the case for you, but better to be aware either way.

All that said, I also take ATX and I must say that on its own its effects are barely noticeable for me. It’s only because I know that my symptoms can be worse that I even consider it effective. I am an unusual case, though, regarding med-response etc. and I take ATX in combination with Elvanse (Lisdexamfetamine; LDX).

Which I guess brings us to stimulants. You say you’re reluctant out of fear to form a dependency, if I understand correctly. Well, the research is quite interesting in that regard — but let’s cover the basics first.

Stimulants

Stimulants, i.e., various types of amphetamines (AMP) and methylphenidates (MPH), are the standard first-line treatment for ADHD. Both AMP- and MPH-class drugs essentially increase the efficiency of the PFC —same as ATX — but where ATX only directly targets NA, AMP and MPH inhibit the reuptake of DA itself as well as NA reuptake. This direct effect on DA levels is basically (very basic; oversimplified even) what makes them stimulants. It is also likely the root for your concerns about dependence risks, because DA is involved in our reward-system in the brain — i.e. the thing that tells you “i want more of this”.

So, yeah, these concerns are not unfounded, HOWEVER

It is important to remember/note that a lot of the public narrative around ADHD and ADHD medication is heavily distorted by stigma. The number of people who worry about stimulants being addictive is leagues away from the actual prevalence of stimulant abuse/dependence.

This also kinda ties into your question about whether you will stop taking meds at some point or not; the idea that treatment must be temporary roots in the stigmatisation of mental health treatment.

I’m not saying that life-long medication treatment is a delight and a joy, but I also don’t think that it is the ultimate evil it’s sometimes made out to be. –– EXAMPLE: Think of a diabetic; they will need insulin for the rest of their life, but in their case nobody would ever suggest that them taking it is somehow a bad thing.

Mental health in general is unfortunately still heavily stigmatised, and that also impacts the narrative around treatment options, including medication. And more often than not, public beliefs about psychiatric conditions are downright and blatantly wrong.

In this particular case, actual research indicates that stimulant treatment actually decreases the risk for substance abuse in ADHDers. (Generally, adequate ADHD treatment reduces risks for all sorts of unpleasant things, like comorbid disorders, social isolation, divorce, accidents — I could go on. Not the point.)

The point is that overall, from a research perspective, the risk of drug dependence due to stimulant medication is quite low. Hell, literally everyone I know who takes ADHD meds will go “shit I forgot my meds” at least every other month or so.

Of course that doesn’t mean that we can all just pop stims however we like without a care in the world. As with any other medication, monitoring effects and side-effects together with a doctor is key.

With all that said, there is good reason why stimulants are first-line treatment for ADHD: 65-80% of people show a treatment response, and for a lot of people who don’t initially experience an effect, switching to another type of stimulant will often do the trick (total response rates of ~90%). Besides the fact that they work for more people, they also generally work better than non-stimulants, meaning that the symptom improvements are stronger for stimulants. Does this mean you should just get over yourself and go for stimulants because they’re clearly superior? Of course not.

Medication response is ultimately a very individual thing; it is basically impossible to know how you’ll react to any given medication before you try it. So in the end, it really comes down to what you want. It’s your decision, based on your priorities and values.

The same goes for your question of “will I take these meds forever” — that’s up to you!

Generally speaking, ADHD doesn’t go away. It is not something you grow out of any more than you can grow a second brain to replace the one you have. And our brains have ADHD. So, symptom-wise, we will always experience ADHD to some degree at least.

Of course, there are plenty of other treatment approaches such as CBT and literal mountains of helpful strategies to learn about and use. And that’s wonderful! Still, therapy alone is generally considered less effective than meds, but it does help. The best treatment approaches are multimodal, i.e. a combination of pharmacological treatment and behavioural interventions. Aka we take meds and go to therapy. Amazing.

So let’s say you’ve taken meds for a while, you’ve gone to therapy, you’ve learnt all the strategies — you decide to quit the meds. What happens?

Well first of all, nobody can know that beforehand, so keep in mind that these are hypothetical assumptions based on scenarios that research described as likely

Anyway, you quit whatever meds that ended up working for you. Ideally, you do that slowly so you don’t have any withdrawal issues, but eventually you’re off the meds. As a result, your brain isn’t getting that neurotransmitter boost anymore that the meds created (though some research shows that some benefits might persist, yay!), meaning that cognitive impairments are stronger again.

Does this mean all your symptoms come back? Well, yes and no. On a basic brain level, impairments return at least in part, but the strategies you learnt in therapy might still help you cope with those impairments better than you used to before.

So you might be overall more functional, thanks to those strategies, yes.

But strategies will not fix your brain chemistry, and if there’s no dopamine there’s no dopamine, and suddenly you spent all day in bed. Or you’re staring at your work open in front of you feeling like there’s a thick panel of glass between you and your screen/keyboard and you just cannot make yourself type. These things won’t go away, and strategies will not always do the trick

Personally, I dread the idea of living my life entirely off meds. My main hobby is writing, which is nearly impossible without my meds — and even if I had a less challenging hobby; I want to do things in life, not waste my time trying to get myself to brush my teeth. But, again, that is a very personal decision that you ultimately have to make for yourself.

Still, here are a few things to consider that might help you evaluate your options:

Need — what are your primary needs? Which symptoms are impacting you most? (Yes I’m getting to the RSD sfksjhgj)

Want — what are things you want beyond the most important needs? Where do your priorities lie?

Benefit — what benefit are you getting from [medication X]? How much positive effect does it have on your symptoms? On your life as a whole?

Need-benefit — do the benefits fulfil your essential needs? —> if not, that’s probably not the right med for you

Want-benefit — do the benefits fulfil your wants beyond the essentials?

Cost — what costs is [medication X] causing you? Do you have side-effects, if so what are they, how bad, how frequent?

Cost-benefit — do the benefits outweigh the costs, on a somewhat objective level? (effects vs side-effects)

Cost-benefit-want — Are the benefits worth the costs, also taking your individual values, concerns and goals into account?

This last one can get quite complicated, I’ll admit, but in the end I feel like this one is what tips the scale for a lot of people.

You could have the most amazing improvements, if you suffer side effects that keep you from something that is important to you, it’s probably not worth it in the end.

Vice versa, in my case, if it means I can write, I will accept that I’ll feel incredibly nauseated on some days for like 1-3 hours. It all comes down to individual choices in the end.

-deep breath- So, that was a lot, whops. So much, that I should actually go and work, so I’ll try to keep the RSD thing short. Conveniently, the AutoMod already summed up the most important bits:

RSD is not a recognised medical term

Instead of RSD, it is better to use concepts and terminology with solidly established definitions such as emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity to talk about the experiences people tend to label RSD

This is particularly important when consulting mental health professionals; well established concepts enable them to assess your symptoms and needs better than vague, ill-defined buzzwords. I have had people tell me they were going to switch to another doctor because theirs wasn’t familiar with RSD --- that is an issue!

Buzzwords like that tend to hinder treatment progress, because they are too vague to be properly informative. Most people have a very specific conceptual definition of RSD --- namely the one that describes their own symptoms best.

That renders it basically useless as a communicative device. Doctors cannot mind-read; you are doing yourself a favour if your communication (including terminology) is as clear as possible.

Obviously nobody expects you to know specialised medical terms --- just try to avoid buzzwords; of any kind! RSD is just a very very popular one and therefore warrants repeated clarification.

Now, just cause it’s not A Thing(tm), doesn’t mean it’s not a problem. And yes, the experience of rejection sensitivity in ADHD is valid and should not be dismissed!

Emotional dysregulation is actually one of the most prevalent and most impacting symptoms of ADHD, but because it isn’t part of the diagnostic criteria, a lot of people aren’t even aware of how much ADHD impacts emotions — and how much that impacts life for ADHDers. Emotional dysregulation leads to all sorts of other problems, like social isolation or comborbid mood disorders like depression or bipolar. So, clearly, it’s something should be addressed when it comes to treatment.

And would you look at that, they did! Yay!

Research shows that stimulants are effective for reducing symptoms of emotional dysregulation; as mentioned earlier, ideally you combine that with therapy.

Especially for emotional dysregulation, therapy — not just strategies, therapy — can be very beneficial, because emotions are hard. A lot of ADHDers, especially those that only get their diagnosis in adulthood, develop suboptimal coping mechanisms throughout their life that are very hard to dismantle without help. But resolving those patterns often makes an immense impact on the general quality of life.

Conclusion: Get a good therapist. It’s worth it. (Good = someone you trust and click with, you have to be comfortable.)

Now, one last thing (almost done I promise), because you said you don’t really have anyone to talk to about this:

I strongly encourage you to actively seek out ADHD communities in a format that lends itself to connecting with people on a personal level.

So, quick story time: Back in 2018, I (by complete coincidence) stumbled over a video of a TEDxTalk about ADHD on Patreon – who even browses Patreon?! Anyway, I watched it. Cried. A lot. Backed that Patreon immediately, before even looking at the actual YouTube channel it was for. The Patreon came with Discord rewards — I had never heard of Discord but there’s nothing like ADHD impulsivity, so I made a Discord account and joined that server.

Literally my whole life has changed since then. My perspective on ADHD has changed so so much simply through seeing other people having the same struggles, and yet they were still unique. And it was a wild ride. I look at some of the beliefs I used to have and am baffled at myself. But that’s not the main point, though knowledge always does help. No, the main point isn’t another strategy or lifehack. The main point are friends. True, actual friends who accept you, but also understand you.

When I joined that server, I very quickly met a lot of people. It was wonderful to suddenly be in a space where people related to my experiences that had previously always singled me out as weird or rude or incompetent or whatever. And all those people were lovely, but they’re not the friends I mean; most of them I am not in touch with anymore. I mean the select few. They are what made the biggest difference for me. I met one of my top two best friends like 2 months after joining the server, when we both became moderators. We later did community management together for over a year, until I moved on to other things — they are still Community Manager there! I flew to the other side of the planet for their wedding. We spend hours on video chat sometimes, both just working and hanging out because we like each other’s company (and it helps us focus). I can tell them anything, even if I hate what I did or didn’t do or say or think.

Those friends.

And I don’t know you, obviously, so maybe you already have that friend, in which case I’m very happy for you. But judging by your statement that you have nobody to talk to—

I’m not saying that joining an ADHD community will magically drop a best friend for you out of the sky, but it’s honestly not a bad start. Simply gaining the peer support of people who understand and relate to your experiences is worth it.

Okay, phew. Now I’m done. For your convenience;

TL;DR

non-stimulants might still take effect or you might need a different dose

stimulants are heavily stigmatised and the actual risk for substance dependence is quite low if the treatment is properly monitored by a medical professional

ADHD doesn’t go away; we will always have ADHD brains and there will always be issues that cannot be solved with strategies

It’s up to you to decide whether you want to take medication for it, and whether you want to take them long-term or not. I personally am fairly certain that I will continue to take these meds as long as I can. Even though there are downsides, the benefits are more than worth it for me.

Emotions are hard, everyone should go to therapy.

Make ADHD friends! (I personally really like Discord communities; I can recommend the HowToADHD community — that’s the server I mentioned earlier — but it’s unfortunately behind a (very low) paywall. If you don’t know that YouTube channel, I’d also recommend checking out Jess’s videos.)

But back to the point: Friends. Whichever platform you are comfortable with – try connecting with people beyond surface level conversations in public comments/threads/channels. Slide into those DMs!

And that’s all. That was way too long and I apologise. I hope any of it was helpful and understandable, I know I can get a bit sciency sometimes. If anything is unclear just ask. Good luck with your journey! It might be hard in the beginning, but it gets easier with time, I promise.

END VERBATIM