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Feeling a little. . . listless today.
Deej is out touring with the combat troopers again. Life Day has passed. Captain Peavey has threatened to skip re-education and just toss me out of an airlock if I start decorating for Halloween.
I need something to look forward to.
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Asked ART-13 the Armorer about adding games to my helmet feed.
They said the helmets already come with one game pre-loaded: Minesweeper. The first armorer thought an explosives-based logic puzzle might help the combat troopers keep their minds sharp or something.
Unfortunately, no one's ever successfully played it.
I tried it today, but it startles me every time the little mines explode when I lose the game. It made me so jumpy in the morning meeting, everyone thought I had fallen deep into my caffeine addiction again. Gonna have to try something else to keep myself entertained.
Bruh.
When I warned y'all about the dangerous turbolift doors, I meant "Don't use them because you'll get hurt."
What I did NOT mean was "Bring your friends and have a contest to see who can run into the lift the fastest."
Sigh. Combat troopers. What are ya gonna do, amiright?
At least we have more medics on staff these days.
Well, we finally said "Goodbye" to Glohra and the other exchange students today. We'll miss them terribly while they're gone, but we know they'll be in good hands. Hux insisted we send along a few combat troopers to accompany them, though. Our Academy students are usually pretty well-behaved, but he thought it would be a good idea to have some grown-ups from home around in case they needed to be reminded to be good guests. I hope everyone has some fun stories to share when they get back.
Glohra's send-off was great fun. Awarding prizes for the best confetti cannons is going to be tough; my students are very creative. Looks like I'll be busy this weekend watching the recordings of the event so I can be sure to make the right choices.
We'll be welcoming our new exchange clones next week, too, which is pretty exciting. I'm looking forward to an interesting week!
Asked Deej today what, exactly, it is that combat troopers even do now that we don't just conquer planets and force them to join the First Order anymore.
She said, "Demonstrations, mostly."
"Demonstrations of power? Like, you murder the most powerful people in front of their citizens or intimidate them with your superior fire power until they surrender to us?"
"Oh, no. Nothing like that. We mostly do a lot of marching, spar with each other, do heavily-choreographed flyovers with TIE fighters, that sort of thing. Then they finish it all off with a motivational speech from one of our officers about how peace and order can be achieved through proper education. That usually impresses the locals enough that they want to open their own branch of the Academy."
"So. . .if we're slowly taking over the galaxy by winning the hearts and minds of its inhabitants. . .why do we even teach combat training anymore?"
"I asked Captain Phasma the same thing. Her answer was basically 'Shut up. It's fun.'"
Yeah, okay. Fair.
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Was happy to get back home to my droids after helping H4-GR1D all weekend.
Still a little weirded out by wildlife. Told K8-T3 about the Alderaanian snow owl and the mouse. She was like, "I could to that, too, if you gave me a hinged jaw."
Um, that's gonna be a "no" from me, Katie.
The last thing I need is a 7-foot-tall droid walking around the Finalizer or the Academy popping small electronics into her mouth and spitting out nuts and bolts and mangled metal for her own amusement. Half of the combat troopers already think I'm a lunatic for teaching her how to use power tools.
Maybe I should reconsider the plasma cutter eye beams we talked about the other day, too. Not entirely sure she'll use those strictly for work purposes.
Asked Deej what she got up to while I was camping with Hux and the Scouts this weekend.
Turns out, she did end up having a Girls' Weekend with Captain Phasma and a few of her fellow combat troopers. They went hunting for wild hogs to hone their knife fighting skills, then visited Eileen for a spa day.
Get you a girl who can do both, friends.
On a very related note, the Academy will be serving fresh bacon with breakfast for the rest of the week. Aw, yiss!
So how many battles have you fought in?
Zero, champ. Not a one.
I’m not that kind of trooper. I can use a blaster just fine, but I don’t have all the physical and strategic training of the combat troopers.
Seriously, you think they’d send my out-of-shape ass into battle? The soldiers would be running at the enemy and I’d be all cramped and wheezing just trying to climb out of the transport ship.
I’ll keep cleaning up after the officers and leave the hard work to the professionals, thank you very much.
Ooh! Wait! I did get caught in the middle of a break room fistfight over the last doughnut once. Does that count?
