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COM200 Week 5 Final Paper Assignment

COM200 Week 5 Final Paper Assignment for $19 Only

For this assignment,you will write a letter of advice to either a newly engaged couple or a group of coworkers. Imagine that either the engaged couple or coworkers hear that you are taking a course in interpersonal communication and want advice regarding how to communicate in their personal or professional relationships. Based on what you have…

From this Interpersonal Communication class I will take a lot of things with me. During my time at this course I learned how to communicate better with people and how to maintain relationships better. As the course went on every class I learned something about a relationship that went well or one that failed. This class helped me break down why is my relationship successful with my best friend, or why did I break up with my ex-girlfriend. It was a way that I could reminisce on the past and better understand why things happened. I thought about everything from work, to my family, to the relationships that couldn’t survive and drowned out into the deep waters of irrelevance. Improving interpersonal communication could probably even lead us to success even judging by our professor who has accomplished a lot. I can tell she knows how to maneuver in a world full of complex people.

           Another take way I got from this course is that Interpersonal Communication is a skillset, and it is one that could help us for the rest of our lives. Because these skills are basically the keys to being able to communicate effectively with other people. People that can connect us to a new job, people that can help us when we are down, or even just learning to make a new friendship. I have always known that these are important skills and having the opportunity to take a class where we could study that was awesome. I would actually apply these skills at work and in my daily life and I believe there was a lot of growth for me. There was some things that I was doing good, and some bad. Taking the skills I learned in this class I believe made me a better leader and a better manager of people.

           There is many flaws that I have in my interpersonal communication that I learned about myself in this class, including how to make them better. Throughout the terms this helped me to rekindle old friendships and contact people more for the benefit of myself and for them. Because in a weird way people need other people to be happy. We need to have an intimate circle of friends that share the human condition as well and can talk to you about it. Simple things such as failure, loss, success, embarrassment, what does this all mean without having other people to witness it. People are complex beings and it is worth the investment to study how to get along with them. Even if we do have people we don’t like it is important to understand it so you could deal with it in a better way. And I believe that having strong interpersonal skills would make you someone that a company wants since you can reach out to a diverse amount of people in a world that is becoming more and more so.

           During this course I learned how to work in a group in a more efficient way. Keeping contact with them through a variety of avenues, such as text, Gmail, face-to-face, we really worked well together. This is my last term at North Central and with my experience I taught them a thing or two about how groups work well together. I took them under my wing and showed them that we need to satisfy everyone’s needs in order to make things happen. We have to be adaptable and willing to accommodate every team member. My group was an interesting bunch and like I’ve said in a previous blog we were so different and got along pretty well. I never really envisioned that for us but I think we will be friends even after I graduate.

         It was a pleasure to work with my group again on the sales speech and it was also a lot of fun. Now that the term is coming to an end is was increasingly difficult to be able to meet up with each other, but we made it happen! Working with them I noticed the similarities that we share as people. We come from different backgrounds and some of us even different countries. But what unified us together was our personalities and the quirks that makes us unique. What stuck out to me is how similar our humors our and being able to relate to one another. I remember reading in the textbook about how we are drawn to people who are like us. Though this is not in any way saying that we are 100% similar but what did make us connect was our communication. We were all willing to compromise time to meet up late at night even though we had a million other things going on. We felt the empathy for one another if someone for example had to work or had a paper due the next day. Through working together all term we were able to understand each other as individuals and it is something we will take beyond the classroom.

       With the exception of the girls I would say that our group as a whole is diverse and otherwise different. That is because we had Shota who is a student from Japan and myself who is Mexican-American. It was interesting to see the way we would connect to try and form a relationship because at the end of the day we had to get along. This was very easy for us and we became friendly so fast. This was because we dug for areas where we were similar or just tried to make each other laugh. For example though I’m a HR major I have a passion for history and geography. Because of this I was able to talk to Shota about certain places in Japan and some of my favorite moments in Japans history. Michelle had previously taken some Japanese language courses so she was able to kind of talk to him in a different way that I’m sure he really appreciated and was also funny. I on the other hand am a little older than them and I’m a commuter so I did not really have those networks they have in people they know or events they go to it is just another day in class for me. We found out how to make everything gel though and I think this was primarily due to looking for where we are similar.

           We laughed a lot during the times we had together because I think we all had a taste for crude silly humor. Laughing together kind of tied us together and we were able to form a connection beyond just being a group. For example I kind of keep to myself when I’m in class unless I’m approached. I probably would have never even talked to Allie, Michelle, or Shota had it not been for the selected groups. Being with them and socializing with likeminded people really gave me something because I’m so used to being on my own. This was just a trait that I got accustomed to being at college because for a very long time (up to the last few weeks of this term) I was working full-time in a demanding job, and a student full-time at a demanding school. This predicament left me with little time for socialization so I always saw my time in the classroom or in the campus as just another destination in my day. Forming relationships with people even in a group setting reminded me how important relationships are to be with people who go through the same things you do besides our differences.

This class was very exciting because it was finally our turn to present our chapter! It was a smooth process working with my team and it was actually really fun. We worked well together because we all cared about getting the project done on time and to a satisfactory level. We were all flexible with our time and had several meetings to practice and go over material to make sure we did not go over time. Our chapter/section was on maintaining interpersonal relationships and it was short but important for relationships. I feel we did well in our project and I very much look forward to presenting our fun business idea for the next group project. We have been working on something useful, yet funny for the next project. We will hope it will resonate with the class. I also thought it was awesome of professor Barber to give us Wednesday off! But unfortunately it caused a major oversight on my part and the blog post went over my head. L I prided myself in always having the posts on time..sorry!

           When talking about forgiving and asking for forgiveness it may seem simple and something you don’t have to be taught. But after reading the chapter I’m willing to wager that a lot of us don’t apologize correctly (including myself). I was reminding myself of all the times me and my girlfriend fought and she would say to me things like “you never apologize” or “you never admit you’re wrong”…looking at the steps it takes for apologizing correctly, she may have a point!! A lot of the time when I apologized I would either just say it to make her be quite or to try and repel any further discussion. In other words my words were not matching my non-verbal behaviors. I would say things like “yeah, I’m sorry” but have a blank, bored face ready to move on to the next minutes of my life. She obviously did not receive this well and probably did not even accept the apology let alone digest it.

           Another factor I looked back on is that every time I apologize for something I do frequently I always say it will be my last time. When I apologize during these events she does not even believe me anymore and just disregards the apology all together. I know I probably sound like a dirt bag but this is just pointing out when I’ve really messed up in my relationship. There have been times when I have apologized correctly where I took full accountability of my transgression and did not commit it again in the future. One time where I did this is when I had to pick her up from the train station because she was coming from the city (she works there). I had the amazing idea of day drinking delicious craft-beers and knocked down one too many till I passed out on the bed. Because of this I wasn’t able to pick her up and she had to find another ride. Though I did not tell her the nature of my slumber I did tell her that it was completely my fault and it would never happen again. I have been on time every single time now. Just one case of my life where I played with fire, but did not get burnt.

Week 7 Class was a very fun one because we started the “date me” exercise. It was an entertaining activity that gave us the opportunity to see what the girls liked in men (without interfering) and what the boys liked in girls. It was hard not to laugh at some of the things the girls were saying but I tried to keep my cool despite the traits, and dates that were being said. From what I got, the girls did not care too much about the physical appearance of their ideal man. They cared more about their demeanor, their habits, and just overall personality traits. They were smooth sailing in an activity were being brutally honest was the point, little did they know there was a ship coming that would unwind honest and maybe even a little obscene remarks about their ideal woman.

With the men however physical appearance was overwhelmingly looked at for the girls. I kind of like the fact that they were said on our part because the girls I felt held back and played it safe I think. There is obviously more things to be said about what each girl likes and they seldom debated what each person proposed. The guys on the other hand let loose like cannons on a pirate ship different traits, dates, personality flaws about the women they would like. I saw our group as pickier but also more honest and it should have been good information for the girls to forge the ‘perfect lady’. I’m sure we made it a little challenging and I can only imagine what is going through their mind as they are typing their hooks.

I was the undercover lady, which was kind of awkward. I did not think I would get the role of incognito woman but none-the-less I tried my best to type up something I would like. I tried to mix in the different traits/dates/habits we all said about our ideal partner and tried to keep it somewhere in the middle. My little “bio” might not get chosen as the most popular but at least it was a fair shot. I did not want to make an outrageous story, not my style. It was fun though writing from a girls perspective because I was thinking through all the standards we had set for the perfect partner. It went through my mind that ultimately there is no perfect person and all these fictions we have of the super-hot girl that cleans and cooks and is as patient as mother Theresa doesn’t exist. (Except for in the attics in our mind where she is dusting webs long-forgotten).

Though primarily driven by appearance I did notice that we differed to a decent extent about the dates. Some of the dorkier guys liked videogames, some of the jocks liked bars, and some of the wallflowers wanted a walk by the river. We were kind of all over the place but never acknowledged it, we were too busy trying to ramble over one another. This was a continuous theme during the activity however and something I think Professor Barber noticed (maybe in disappointment) L. But either way it was very fun.

In the beginning of ch.8 it talks about why we form relationships and this made me reflect on my own. I don’t have a lot of friends or people that I fully trust and can disclose just about anything. I have a select few that have won over my trust and I started breaking down what joined us together. Right off the bat, I’m selective over my “bromances”…they have to be respectable and with that comes some sort of talent, intelligence, or position at a job. They have to be able to take my venting or disclosing of feelings while they reciprocate back.  Basically I guess I would look to people like me who needs ego support. Two friends I can think of now I think will last the test of time because of how similar we are.

It has become quite the spectacle seeing our two candidates for president duke it out in these presidential debates. I have been watching all of them religiously and have payed close attention to their communication. When I found out the last debate was going to be Wednesday night October 19th, I was a little disappointed. How unlucky for the last debate to be on the night on my jumbo! (Also my favorite class). Not to worry, Professor Barber had our backs, on one condition! We tie back the debate to the chapter we were learning in class that day (Chapters 5-6). Those chapters had to do with language and non-verbal communication which are very important in a debate. This is due to the fact that all eyes are on the candidates and boy did they give us a lot to interpret!

           When talking about the impact language has on the audience that are viewing the candidates, I feel it’s important to talk about power. It is obvious that Mr. Trump and Secretary Clinton are continuously trying to one up one another and this turns really quickly into a power struggle. Not just in the fact that they are fighting for attention but in also in the manner they are talking. Trump tends to talk in a louder more aggressive tone while Hillary talks more composed and keeps her cool throughout (for the most part). Both candidates are 100% sure of themselves when they are communicating and they must be, so the people at home can have the impression of a good leader.

           Emotive language is huge for both candidates as well because it is a way of disagreeing with what the other person is saying. An interesting and a little disturbing example is when Trump is talking about abortion and babies being “ripped” out of their mothers. Not only is the language evoking great emotion it is also showing Trumps immense disagreement with abortion and anything having to do with the pro-choice stance. It is not as easy spotting emotive language with Hillary and this can be seen as maybe one of her strengths to the people. However she is still a politician and has to entice the people as well! You see her emotive language come through when she is speaking about Donald Trump and his unwillingness to share his tax returns. She will say things like Trump “refuses” to share his tax returns implying that he cannot be trusted with the countries money and should therefore not be trusted.

           Non-verbal communication is something that we can also interpret from both candidates since we are viewing the debates and seeing how they gesticulate and how they react to certain accusations. The funniest one to point out for me had to do with Hilary and her constant smiling after Trump had just thrown a barrage of accusations her way. Her smiling in my opinion can be both ways, she is either: smiling to show the people how ridiculous Trumps words are, or, they can be taken as an act of being nervous or embarrassed. Just because of how much I know regarding Hillary’s past and the DNC it is disturbing seeing her smile like that because many of the things Trump is accusing her of is fact. Of course, Hillary does what she can and shrugs it off with a warm (or creepy) smile.

           Both candidates did a good job of the regulating function of nonverbal communication because they are continually nodding their heads in approval, or in disagreement. Trump can be seen doing this a lot when Hillary is speaking about the plans she will be implementing if she were to become president. Trump will signal a nod of disapproval or smirk signaling he completely does not agree with what Hillary is saying. Trump, being the grand non-verbal communicator that he is also uses accenting when accusing Hillary of things. He wills say something like “it is because YOU (point) and Obama, that the country is where it’s at”.

           Lastly I want to analyze the face and eyes of the candidates and how they used it to their advantage or disadvantage. It is a little more noticeable for Trump because his eyes are always moving about. When he is going to say something that he feels strongly about or that he wants to emphasize he will open up his and say strongly what he is trying to get across. When he is listening to Hillary and in a more focused zone he squints his eyes and he gives off the impression that he is analyzing everything that she is saying and also wants to give the viewer the impression that he means business, and he is not happy. Hillary is more composed and I would say a little more stoic. A lot of her gesticulations or even eye and face movements seem a little “planned” and this is probably because she is obviously the more seasoned politician and debater. When she is talking seriously about issues that her camp is supporting she gives a stone cold eye glare to Trump. Her eyes open up more than usual when is talking about these issues and it is the best of what I could observe.

The reading on chapter 7 (Listening) was one that I connected with a lot. At my job listening is an important skill to have because I have many people talking to me during the time I’m there. For example I have to listen to my boss, I have to listen to my team, and I have to listen to my peers. It is essential to be a good listener to excel at any managerial job or job where you have big responsibilities. This chapter provided excellent detail in listening and the various types one can do. Listening is also a big time skill for my major which is human resource management. It is something that I will have to be doing on a daily basis with many people within the company. I like to think of myself as someone with good listening skills mainly cause of my experience on the job but I also like having quality conversation with people and in order to have that one must be a good listener.

           When I ran into the advising section during my reading I thought of many things. I thought of school because obviously the word ‘advisor’ and how they help you with finding a solution with problems you may be facing in school. It is obvious the person giving feedback in this type of setting is an expert so there advice would be beneficial to take in. I see a lot of advising also at my job when asking for feedback from my superiors or whether I want a raise and have to talk to HR as to how to get to the pay raise. Advising for me can be important when you are getting the advice from an expert and someone who could give you valuable information.

           When I read the types of ineffective listening ‘defensive listening’ stuck out to me in particular. It reminded me of growing up with authoritative parents and whenever I would question my father he took it as a personal attack. I never meant for clarification and understanding not to insult him. But because of the defensive listening he was doing he saw it as a question of his authority and wisdom. It is almost as if one is not ‘worthy’ enough to ask a direct question. I see this a lot at work too when I ask one of my peers who have been there longer direct questions about the way we are doing the job. He can get defensive and have the type of attitude where it’s ‘who are you to be asking me questions’.

           I laughed when I read about pseudo listening because this might be a form of ineffective listening that I’m guilty of. When I and my girlfriend are speaking and she is talking about her day like when she was at her job she can go on many tangents. Instead of listening to each tangent carefully I act like I’m listening and give her the impression that I’m paying attention. It comes down to the fact that I’m really not interested in what she is saying or that she is not presenting it correctly to me. I blame her mom for that because her mom is the same way. When she visited us last week for a few days I saw proof of this, thus the level of pseudo listening was at an all-time high. I do not think it is a good trait of mine and I have been looking to improve upon it to better my communication skills.

           Because of my tendency to pseudo listen during casual conversation it can be difficult for me to remember things. This is something that can really tick off my girlfriend because she will say something like “I told you this already” and she hates when she has to repeat herself. This also connects to work when my boss gives me a lot of information on days that I see her and she overloads me with it. Sometimes I do not retain everything she said and the next time she sees me she will ask me why I did not carry out certain things she wanted. By now we all know my manager is a crappy communicator so it is not surprise that she will fault me for it.

This past couple weeks have been rough for me and my family with the passing of my father. It was sudden and short notice and I did not expect to fall behind in my course work like I did. However with this event now past at least externally I’m having a realistic expectations of myself and trying to finish the term as strong as possible.

There has been a lot of e-mailing on my part to let professors know what happened as well as the dean of students. This emails had to be a of a serious tone to let them know I’m not just blowing off class. This is my last term so it can seem like the normal thing to do for some, but I came into this term more determined than ever so my dad could see me graduate. Something that sadly wont happen anymore...but I know he is looking. and I know I can make him proud.

That being said I knew that if I want to be successful for the rest of the term I would have to drop work at least for a month. So I got in contact with the human resource team as well as my manager and notified them that I would need a personal leave because of what happened. I was going back and forth with this because I can have a perfectionist ego where I want everything under control and smooth, but I knew what had to be done and the consequences of postponing this term.

I feel good because I’m only two weeks behind (i know it sounds like a lot) but I think with the support of my professors and with my grit I can come out through this a better and stronger person. I want to hold a good expectation of whats to come in the following weeks leading up to finals and with the extra time I will have I know I can do it.

My perceived self is someone that goes through the pain and comes out on top, that being said maybe someone that sacrifices too much but it is all for the better since I have future value in in. (finishing school, becoming a better person).