#collegestuck

John Egbert - Middle Level Science Ed. Major with a compsci minor that he’s really shitty at AND he’s there on a track scholarship that actively inhibits his social and romantic lives

Rose Lalonde - English Literature Major with a concentration in literary, film, and cultural studies and a minor in french

Dave Strider - Graphic Design Major and absolutely nothing else

Jade Harley - Art Education and Asian Studies dual major with a minor in biology

Jane Crocker - Business management Major with a concentration in general management and she HATES everyone in her classes

Roxy Lalonde - Biology Major with a concentration in cellular and molecular biology and a minor in english just for funsies

Dirk Strider - Philosophy Major with a minor in international affairs

Jake English - History Major with a minor in anthropology AND he’s there on some kind of sport scholarship BUT he’s lowkey really shitty at it and realistically shouldn’t even be on the team

Aradia Megido - Anthropology Major with a minor in general history (Jake English double it and give it to the next person)

Tavros Nitram - Social Work Major with a minor in animal assisted interventions AND the world’s #1 marching band tryhard

Sollux Captor - Compsci major and absolutely nothing else

Karkat Vantas - Secondary History Ed. Major BUT in a really fucking annoying blowhard way where he’s always trying to “one up” other subjects (GENUINELY beefs with Rose but it’s really fucking one-sided)

Nepeta Leijon - Park and Resource Management Major with a minor in professional japanese

Kanaya Maryam - Art Major with a concentration in fiber arts and a dual minor in art history and french

Terezi Pyrope - Poli Sci Major with a concentration in law and politics and a minor in criminology

Vriska Serket - Psychology Major BUT one of the really fucking evil ones who gets belligerently drunk every weekend (much to her roommate’s chagrin) and uses therapy speak to justify being a terrible person. Minor in social work

Equius Zahhak - Exercise Science Major with a concentration in pre-athletic training and a minor in animal assisted intervention AND he’s there on a wrestling scholarship

Gamzee Makara - Exploratory Major with no intent of declaring any field of study any time soon

Eridan Ampora - English Creative Writing Major with a dual minor in poli sci and theatre BUT all of his writing is really shitty and actively gets clipped and shared around the dept. for shits and gigs

dave and rose have both cultivated random friendships with animals on campus/around town, rose with stray cats and dave with the local crow population, he even tried tasting the bird seed once (says its not bad)

june, sollux, and karkat are in the same comp sci class, june complains about hating it and sollux says that maybe she’d hate it less if she was actually good at it, so they’ve been beefing ever since

kanaya hits up the local thrift shops for clothes to work on, and eventually jade, rose, and feferi join in too

jade still has reminders but instead of them being on her fingers it’s a meticulously filled out planner which is color coded and everything (and it actually works for her)

You can see where I give up half way through colouring

DIRKJOHN WEEK 2024

Day 4 mafia au or college au

john egbert: switched high schools constantly, had to spend the last two years in charter for bad behavior (caused by his depression). rich kid with a down to earth dad so he never really realized how rich he is. got into a good college with the crocker money, but is mostly sleeping around in between writing joke programs. wistfully looks to the theater program but anhedonia is kicking his ass so hes gonna go smoke with strider instead :B

jane crocker: straight a honor student with a claimed spot in a top culinary school already. does local cooking/baking shows and competitions. knows that she has to go the CEO route and is excited but her passions lie in marketing and branding, and she wants to be on the big screen; wants a cooking show. jealous of her cousin john getting to be a lazy good for nothing, and yearns for a boyfriend. she feels a lot of pressure and has started smoking weed with the juggalo stoner that hangs around house parties

rose lalonde: published author complete with two different booktok controversies by the tender age of 21. is actually finally going to college for a writing course now and is realizing that maybe fanfic and esoteric horror novels exclusively published before the 80's arent the only valid forms of literature. giant pervert; in fact, she and john share a love of goon material and they share hentai reccs shamelessly in the gc (jade gives enthusiastic feedback and dave wants to die)

roxy lalonde: biology major by day, fanfic extraordinaire by night. like her younger sister rose, shes also an author with controversial fics in her back catalogue but she does not give a damn about cyberbullying (she will drunkenly dox her haters on stream. shes a lolcow lowkey.) shes actually kind of a genius that is actively letting addiction ruin her life bc shes addicted to parties and attention; janey is the one she goes to the parties with since jake is always ghosting her and dirk is always busy

jade harley: botanist and fursuiter, a part of a ton of stereotypically "dorky" clubs. sleeps through most of her classes and doesnt really study, ends up acing a lot of her tests anyways. spends wayyyy too much money on furry stuff, to the point of eating actual garbage and not taking care of herself bc her money gets blown immediately. a part of colorguard. genuinely loves her education path and gets frustrated that she cant balance her interests with her goals

jake english: does he... even attend classes??? hes always on campus, hangs out with his friends during lunch, attends parties and events, he SAYS he has classes (allegedly a communication major, tons of film history classes) but they never see him actually attend any of them... everyone loves jake english though, hes a great arm on the football team, gets asked out constantly. john thought he had a dorm on campus but turns out jake just has a rotation of "friends" whose places he sleeps at; everyone has hit it but hes never in a committed relationship

dave strider: has been uploading onto every social media he can since he was 9, has gone semi-viral several times across the years for his shitposts and memes. actually does get youtube checks and has a subscriber plaque that is his pride and joy. still makes sbahj. (he also has secret personal vent accounts, including a very raw and personal soundcloud that has a niche following where he posts beats/poetry/raps). is only going to college instead of pursuing music full time bc all his friends are going (and bro threatened to kick him out if he didnt). hes still trying to find a major and mostly just hangs with john. hes starting to suspect that online validation doesnt mean he isnt still a loser nobody with zero social skills and crippling anxiety

dirk strider: works two (and a half) jobs while also going to school for an engineering degree. is also putting himself through trade school on the side. he doesnt technically need to work but wants "clean" money set aside for him and dave for during and after college. never goes to any school related events but makes time to spend with his friends when he can manage it. incredibly mentally ill but hes thugging it out. technically makes music with dave (nobody knows dirk works this much, they think hes just brooding and doing things on his own). is currently experiencing ai psychosis with a chatgbt bot he named Hal that he started talking to during a bad episode.