#coffeeleaves

Oho? Another request for @stag-of-adrestia from a secret anon admirer? Thy wish is my command~

I would say that Ferdinand would be the one to suggest trick-or-treating with their daughter. Hubert wouldn’t want to at first - who knows what could happen? They could be attacked! Or the treats they get could be poisoned! It is much safer to stay in the palace.

Of course, as soon as their daughter gets involved, Hubert caves. He curses himself for growing so soft to his husband’s and daughter’s “puppy dog eyes”, but he can’t really be mad at himself for it. 

Do they get dressed up for trick-or-treating? Of COURSE they do - Ferdinand von Aegir-Vestra does NOT do anything halfway! Does Hubert have like 20 daggers hidden in his costume? Of COURSE he does - do you really think Hubert von Aegir-Vestra would allow his family to go out without making sure he had several weapons at the ready to protect them? 

I might as well get this one done while I can - once again, this one's for you @stag-of-adrestia (you can tell this request has been here a while...)

A N Y W A Y

So as much as I love the idea of Ferdinand bringing home their daughter, I actually think the idea of Hubert being the one to bring her home is a lot more meaningful in a way I can’t really describe. It’s like...he’s spent so long against the idea of children, not because he wouldn’t want to have them with Ferdinand, but because he’s internally terrified of turning out like his own father, and yet here he is bringing home a little girl he had found trying to survive off of the streets because something in his heart refused to let him walk away.

So he brings home this little girl, holding her in his arms, and as he sits watching to make sure she gets some actual food in her, in walks Ferdinand.

Now, they had discussed having children before. They had wanted children, both admitted to it...but up until then, Hubert had been too afraid of himself to take that step forward. 

They shared a look. Ferdinand a knowing one, and Hubert a sheepish one. Perhaps for once, Ferdinand was thinking of being the voice of reason...then the little girl looked at him, eyes bright with curiosity and already somehow looking so much like he and Hubert, with hair that could be his shade with a wash and eyes that nearly matched Hubert’s in their hue, and he knew she was already theirs.  

They end up taking this little girl in officially, and she becomes their daughter. Ferdinand dotes on her endlessly, and though Hubert does his best to be the stricter of the two, he’s endlessly soft for her as well and can’t help but cave to her as he would’ve to Lady Edelgard and Ferdinand. Ferdinand introduces her to Andromeda, and Hubert introduces her to Mocha and Cinnamon - the latter of whom she grows attached to very quickly. When she grows up, Cinnamon becomes one of her closest companions.

HI SORRY ANON DHEJDHDJD IM GONNA TRY AND GET THROUGH SOME INBOX STUFF

But yES PLEASEEEE!!!

I HAVE BEEN ME A N I N G TO GET TO THIS

This is such a soft prompt I gotta say?? Like...props anon fjfjjf

ANYHOW

I do like to think that, when he's tired, Hubert is a little different around Ferdinand. He goes through great pains to keep it from happening (and by that I mean he drinks an ungodly amount of coffee), but occasionally, there will be the odd occasion he's a little too exhausted to really be thinking about what he's doing.

I like to think that when Hubert's nerves are frayed enough, when he's too bone-deep exhausted to really think...he unintentionally seeks out Ferdinand. There's a part of him that craves the warmth Ferdinand provides in his life, and despite even now thinking he's undeserving of it, he cannot help but search for it regardless.

What do I mean by that? Well, simply put, he'll finish whatever task he had begun - afterwards, he'll slowly trudge to wherever Ferdinand may be and learn against him - a silent way of letting Ferdinand know that he's at the end of his rope.

The first time this happened, admittedly, Ferdinand probably thought Hubert was about to collapse or something and hurried him off to the infirmary. Now he simply recognizes it as Hubert being too tired to care about these sorts of things. Nowadays, he'll take Hubert into his arms and slowly guide Hubert to bed - not that Hubert really realizes it, too occupied with taking in the warmth and light that is Ferdinand to realize he's being led to their room. And once there, Ferdinand makes sure Hubert actually rests - and not just down another two or three cups of coffee to avoid sleeping.

:) so remember that post I reblogged from @ferdinands-love-club ? Well... you asked for this anon. I've been working on this on and off all day, so I hope you're happy with what you've got

‐-----‐------

It wasn't enough time. Though, in reality, Hubert should've realized from the beginning that no amount of time shorter than an eternity would be enough.

Still, it wasn't enough.

They only had a few more years together, rather than the decades that they should've. They were scarcely able to enjoy the peace that followed before the damned Goddes saw fit to tear them apart.

They may have needed to fight the war against Those Who Slithered, and yet...Hubert couldn't. Selfishly, selfishly, he wanted to spend more time with Ferdinand. Wanted to learn more about the other man, wanted to see if he was just as bright and open in expressing his love as he was in practically everything else.

Lady Edelgard had allowed him leave, just for this. The look in her eyes told him all he needed to know.

They had spent those years together, spending nearly every moment together. Even the days where they needed to take care of one thing or another, they did it together, Hubert being unwilling to spend more time away from Ferdinand when he knew there wasn't long.

And even with the time they spent, even with the affection Hubert had learned to openly give in return for the affection Ferdinand already gifted him, even with Professor Hanneman and Linhardt looking to try and reverse the effects...

...it wasn't enough. If the Goddess truly existed, she must have been laughing in his face as she took his sun and extinguished his light.

Hubert had watched as Ferdinand steadily grew weaker, as he lost his breath more easily and simple tasks grew more exhausting, as his body grew weaker and his light more dim. He watched with a sorrow and fury more potent than anything ever before, a sadness as to who he knew he'd soon lose and a rage that he was too useless to do anything about it.

Hubert had sat by Ferdinand's bedside when he no longer had the strength to move around. Even then, Ferdinand's eyes still lit up when he laughed, still brightened just gazing at Hubert, as if somehow the sight of him was enough to make up for everything he had been through.

"Come now, Hubert." Ferdinand had to pause to catch his breath. He had to do that a lot lately. "In all my years of knowing you.....I have never known you to look so dour."

Hubert had felt his face twist into a scowl, though both he and Ferdinand knew it to be insincere. "Dour? Tch. You of all people should know why I'm..."

Hubert trailed off. Somehow voicing it was always just too much for him to bear, despite all he had done. Ferdinand understood what he meant though - he always had.

"Hubert. You've lived without me before. I know you will be able to do it again." Ferdinand had said calmly, far more steadily than he had any right to be.

Hubert might have been able to live without him before, but that was also before he knew Ferdinand. Knew what it meant to be privy to every side of him, what it meant to be able to bask in the warmth he gave so freely without even a thought to himself. What it meant to love him. And now that he knew, Hubert knew he would never be able to live properly without him.

"That is the furthest thing from the truth," Hubert had begun, the scowl shifting into something more sorrowful neither had wanted to acknowledge. "I may have accomplished such an impossible feat before, but I would not be able to do so again."

Ferdinand had laughed at that. It was a weak one, a far cry from the loud and boisterous laugh he'd often let out at the simplest of things, but it warmed Hubert's heart all the same. "The great Hubert von Vestra, so easily bested by a challenge?"

"Only because I do not have the wonderful Ferdinand von Aegir by my side," Hubert had replied without thinking, taking Ferdinand's hand in his as he let out a soft smile. The rings on their fingers clinked as they connected, though neither of them had paid it mind at the moment.

But now, the noise Hubert had paid no mind to once upon a time would never be heard again, no matter how much Hubert longed for it. For the bearer of the other ring laid six feet under, resting eternally when he should have been able to laugh and speak and breathe and live right by his side.

So stag! I love you and your writing, but please stop stabbing me in the back by turning my little tags against me

----------------------

Hubert liked to think he was a rational person. A very rational and logical person. One that did not let their emotions get in the way of anything. 

So why in the flames did he feel like this?

He had never felt like this before. It was like some sort of poison had dripped into his veins, ugly and treacherous as it crept towards his heart and squeezed. All for what, logically, would be a ridiculous reason! And pray tell, what was this reason?

The fact that Ferdinand seemed to be gaining admirers. 

Silly, wasn’t it? It wasn’t as though he held claim over the man’s heart! It wasn’t as though he spent day after day and night after night at Ferdinand’s side, drinking in his presence as Ferdinand did the same. It wasn’t as though Hubert went to sleep with Ferdinand beside him, his fiery hair left astray as he laid down to rest.

(But oh, how he longed for it. He would keep the desire locked up inside his heart until the day came when he’d burn, but he’d burn with his secrets all the same.)

Hubert thought it was beyond ridiculous, that he found jealousy of all things running through his body the moment he realized that Ferdinand was gaining admirers. It wasn’t as though he was even trying! He was simply doing was Lady Edelgard had instructed of him, and that was furthering their relations with the other nobles of the land. 

Though really - and Hubert would never say so aloud - you would have to be completely and utterly blind if you somehow didn’t manage to fall a little in love. Ferdinand was like an addiction, his sunlight like a blessing and a curse all the same. It brought light to your world, made it seem as though you were previously living in darkness; yet once you had it, you could never let go.

(And despite how Hubert knew he should let go, should go back to living in the darkness as he had always done, should allow Ferdinand’s light to leave before he tainted that and the man who exuded it, he couldn’t help but hold onto it tightly.

Perhaps - no, he was being selfish, but he found that he just couldn’t go back.)

Yet here he was now. Stewing in feelings he should not be having, should not be allowed to have lest he ruin everything, as he watched Ferdinand laugh and spread his light amongst the nobles he was meant to charm in order to win their support. He truly was terrible, thinking of his own feelings over that of Ferdinand or even Lady Edelgard.

Perhaps Ferdinand did enjoy the attention he received from these new admirers of his. Perhaps, like Ferdinand had captured his heart all those years ago, someone had caught Ferdinand’s. Perhaps Hubert was uselessly letting the jealously curl around his heart when he’d really hadn’t had a chance no matter what he did. 

(Or perhaps, a tiny voice in the back of his mind spoke up, perhaps Ferdinand has only eyes for you. Perhaps he’s only charming these nobles simply because he thinks he has no chance with you.

Hubert quickly quashed that voice.)

Hubert’s feelings aside, he had a job to do. That job being to protect Lady Edelgard and those of the Black Eagle Strike Force. And that would include getting rid of or intimidating any unsavory individuals that got near them. Some of the nobles Ferdinand had to win the support of did seem to be of the unsavory kind. Perhaps he should have a discussion with Lady Edelgard about them.

(That tiny voice spoke up again, the tiny voice that sounded suspiciously like Ferdinand: “You are letting your jealousy control you~” it said, in an almost teasing manner.

Two things: a) I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but please know that you dm me for commissions? If you just send it into my inbox, I'm going to treat it as a normal request hh

And b) this idea is beyond adorable and I wish I was more coherent to be able to truly write this? But I don't know when my energy will pick back up, and I wanted to get this out soon, so I hope you enjoy regardless hh

-----

For the fourth time that evening, Hubert's hand seized, and he ended up dropping the quill he'd been holding. He stared at his hand, which only twitched slightly every now and then. Though it looked like his hand was cramping, that was really only part of the story. Hubert knew all too well how the dark magic staining his hands affected their functionality as well.

This was just the first time in a while that it'd happened so often.

Hubert just sighed. If this kept happening, he wouldn't be able to do much more work. The last time his hands kept doing this, he ended up with numb and sometimes even pain-ridden hands that were essentially useless for at least an hour. It was annoying, and it disrupted his work flow.

...although, he did partially deserve this. He'd known the risks of using so much dark magic, yet he'd kept using it anyway. The consequences were present whenever he looked at his hands, despite the gloves he always wore. Even if they lost a majority of their feeling years ago, he could practically feel the weight of what he'd done.

Which is why it always confused him when Ferdinand always wanted to hold his hands, sometimes even kissing them (which did not make him blush, thank you). Even the idea that someone as bright and cheerful as Ferdinand would want anything to do with his stained hands made his head spin in circles. It just didn't seem real, no matter how many times Ferdinand said otherwise.

He tried to pick up the quill again, only to hiss at the sharp pain that shot through his hand. He really wouldn't be getting anymore work done today, it seems. He was about ready to simply get up from his desk and return to his and Ferdinand's quarters when there was a knock on the door. He paused, contemplating if he should just tell them to leave before thinking better of it.

"Come in," he called, settling back into his chair.

Much to his (pleasant) surprise, it was Ferdinand who walked in. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and he walked up to Hubert with a frown on his face.

Frowns didn't suit Ferdinand at all, Hubert thought idly as his husband stood in front of him. He could tell though that the frown was one of concern rather than anger.

"Hubert, what happened? Your hands are shaking quite badly..." Ferdinand's voice was gentle and quiet, as though if he spoke any louder the shaking would get worse.

Hubert hadn't even realized his hands had begun shaking so badly, too distracted by Ferdinand and the sunshine he practically carried with him, breathed out with every bit of his being. Though, now that it was pointed out to him, there was a sharp pain running through them with each tremor. When had that happened?

Ferdinand's eyes, always a shining amber that Hubert found himself getting lost in on many occasions, focused on Hubert's hands as he held them in his own. After a moment, he sighed.

"Why did you not say something sooner, dearest? It would have been far better if you did not wait until after you had finished your work to get this looked at," Ferdinand said quietly, a sad tone to his voice.

"...truthfully, I hadn't noticed until a few moments ago. The pain wasn't there before you said so-" Hubert started talking, but the stricken look on Ferdinand's face had his stop almost immediately.

Right after, he began rubbing circles onto the backs of his hands. Though Huber wished he could say it was unnecessary, the impromptu massage was actually helping a lot. Enough that he felt his hands starting to regain their mobility...and that they didn't hurt many more.

Ferdinand didn't even say much, simply.massaging Hubert's hands through his gives. He didn't need to say much.

I mean...at least you gave me an outlet for comfort ;w; though about the build up...

It was probably building up for weeks. If you tried to ask Hubert the cause, he wouldn't have been able to tell you (nor would he be able to tell you that it was probably building up for much longer than that). His work for Lady Edelgard began to numb his mind until he found himself blinking back in awareness at the end of the day, reports completed that he could barely remember doing. He was just drifting through the days, completely numb and barely aware of what was happening.

Ferdinand was always there though. Ferdinand, bless his heart, was terribly concerned for him, seeing how strangely numb he had become in the past few weeks. Always asking if he needed to take a break, if he was alright. Hubert always dismissed his concerns though. He was the right hand to the Emperor.

It didn't really matter if he was alright.

One night though, when he was getting ready to head back to his room (his and Ferdinand's room, his brain helpfully reminded him after a moment), there was a knock on his door. He blinked. Did he have someone coming in this late? He'd forgotten.

"Come in," he says quietly, after a moment.

And in walks Ferdinand, that worried look back on his face. Hubert had stared at him, not quite believing he was there, before asking what he was doing.

"I came here," Ferdinand began, approaching Hubert - who was standing besides his desk, having just gotten out of his chair - with that terribly concerned look on his face, "to see what was keeping you. It's past midnight Hubie."

He blinked. Oh. Had it been that long already? He wasn't aware.

"My apologies, Ferdinand..." He spoke quietly, his tongue strangely feeling like lead in his mouth. "It seems I lost track of time."

"But you've never lost track of time this badly before," Ferdinand's concern was thick in his voice, enough that it took Hubert a moment to register it. Or maybe that was just how tired he was. "Don't think I haven't noticed you sleeping well either. What is going on, Hubie?"

"Nothing, there's no need-" Hubert had only just started to protest Ferdinand's unnecessary worry when he spoke again.

"Don't tell me that it's nothing!" Ferdinand's eyes narrowed, the normally gentle light in his eyes becoming a wild blaze. "It's clearly something that's been affecting you terribly, and you can't expect me to simply sit around and watch you force yourself to pretend you're fine!"

Hubert simply stared while Ferdinand caught his breath. Pretending? What on earth was Ferdinand talking about? Hubert was perfectly fine. Perfectly fine....

...wasn't he?

Ferdinand's eyes softened, the blaze quieting down to a candle's flame, and he took Hubert's hands in his. Hubert idly found himself wanting Ferdinand to keep holding them.

"I'm just worried about you Hubie," Ferdinand whispered, staring at their intertwined hands with tears in his eyes. "We're supposed to share our troubles, are we not? I can't bear the thought of you suffering alone like this, all because you are too afraid to talk to me."

Hubert wasn't sure why those were the words to suddenly shatter the walls that had so readily formed after weeks of building without his notice.

"I-" He tried to speak, tried to say something to reassure Ferdinand but found the words turning to stones in his throat, choking on things he couldn't say. Just as suddenly, his vision began to blur (tears? No, it couldn't be, could it-) as the reassurances he was hoping to tell Ferdinand rapidly became words he couldn't make himself say.

Then, a choked sob forced it's way out of his throat, then another, until Hubert could hardly think about anything else. Time blurred together as he found himself crying in Ferdinand's arms, sobbing out every terrible thing that had managed to work its way under his skin and make its home in his heart.

(And after Ferdinand had carried him back to bed after what seemed like hours of tears, making sure Hubert got something to drink before he truly drifted off, Hubert found himself truly at peace for the first time in ages.