#cloudshadow

Cheers.

CW- Cat Death. :(

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“C’mon. That’s enough of that.”

Aspenfall’s voice was gentle as he looked down at Burnkit. He had his paw firmly but not painfully pressed on the gray tabby’s back. Burnkit was grumbling and growling in protest, his small tail bristled and lashing back and forth. He tried to lash out an unsheathed paw, but Aspenfall barely flinched.

I’ve felt worse than that. He wanted to say, but he held his tongue.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with him!” Scrub meowed, looking at Aspenfall with an exasperated expression. Berrykit was held firmly between the she-cat’s front paws, trying to squirm away from a bath. “This is the…Fifth? Yes, the fifth time he’s gotten in trouble today!”

Aspenfall nodded slowly, looking down as Burnkit tried to lash out again.

“Stop.” He grumbled, and for once Burnkit seemed to listen. The kit pressed his belly low to the ground, his pupils wide and his eyes filled with tears.

Aspenfall slowly lifted his paw, prepared to restrain Burnkit again if he needed to. Burnkit stood, shook out his pelt, and stalked off with the tip of his tail twitching. He went to his nest, nosing Ashkit out of the way roughly enough to make the darker tabby squeak before curling into a tight gray ball.

Scrub watched him pad off, and sighed. “I wish I knew why he acted this way…”

“I think I have an idea.” Aspenfall said, whiskers twitching. The brown-furred tom stood, starting to make his way out of the nursery. “Need me for anything else?”

“Oh, no, thanks.” Scrub replied, looking down at Berrykit. “I’m about to put this one down for a nap and then get some rest myself. Thank you for everything you do, Aspen.”

“Of course, Fawn-...” Aspenfall stopped himself. “...Scrub. Sorry. I’ll bring you something for dinner a little later, okay?”

Scrub nodded, and Aspenfall padded into the clearing. He looked around, eyes narrowed as he tried to see what was going on. He was looking for a specific cat.

He saw Icewish near the apprentice’s den with his kits. The white tom looked exhausted, and Honeybird seemed to be explaining something to him. He saw Gorgefleck sitting by the fresh-kill pile with Thistle, and Cloudshadow returning from a patrol with Tigerpaw, Hareleap, and Octet Rulekite. 

Finally, he laid eyes on the cat he was targeting.

Atticus.

The dark tabby was sitting in a shady patch with Mushroomsight. They didn’t seem to be talking. Just…Enjoying each other’s company.

Aspenfall padded over to her, clearing his throat to get her attention. “Atticus.”

Atticus looked up with a flick of her tail. “Aspenfall.”

“I was wondering if you wanted to go on patrol with me…” Aspenfall said, forcing a smile. “You know I can’t leave camp alone.”

“Oh! I can go with you!” Mushroomsight offered, starting to get up from his spot. Aspenfall stopped him.

“No, no, Mushroomsight…I needed to talk to Atticus.” He insisted. “Oh- Maplepool wanted to talk to you, by the way. I think she’s in the warrior’s den.”

“Okay!” Mushroomsight cheerfully said, standing and trotting off. 

Aspenfall watched him go, then turned to Atticus. “Come.”

It was no longer a request.

It was a demand.

Atticus sighed heavily, standing. “Fine. But this better be quick, and you better not be wasting my time.”

Aspenfall ignored her whining, turning and making his way out of camp. Atticus trailed behind him, eyes narrowed.

They walked for what felt like hours, before they were finally far from prying eyes. Aspenfall checked behind him every now and then, to make sure Atticus was still following and didn’t sneak away.

Once they were far enough, Aspenfall stopped. Atticus nearly bumped into him, letting out an annoyed hiss. “What’s wrong with you!?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” Aspenfall muttered, barely audible.

“Wh-”

Aspenfall whirled to face Atticus, fur bristled and claws unsheathed. “Do you have ANY idea of the damage you’ve done?”

He let out a low growl, shaking his head. He dug his claws into the ground, worried that if he moved, he’d hurt Atticus. Atticus stumbled back a bit, keeping her gaze on him. Her pupils had narrowed to slits, the fur on her own back risen and the tip of her tail lashing.

“Damage? Oh, stars, Aspen, not you too!” Atticus hissed. “You brought me out here to chastise me about those kits? Why can’t you just let it go! I’m grieving, and-”

“I’ve been grieving for THIRTY MOONS, Atticus! And I’ve lost so much more than you!” Aspenfall snarled. He began to shake, the aching feeling that always lingered in his heart intensifying for a moment. “I lost my apprentice. My mate. My kits. My mother figure, my daughter figure…Oh, the list goes on and fucking on!”

He took a step closer, watching the way Atticus seemed to shrink back for just a second before trying again to make herself look tough. 

“I know it hurts. I know Peachshade meant a lot to you, and I’m sorry you lost her. But…” Aspenfall flicked his tail. “How could you treat her children like this? You know better than everyone that if she were alive, she would’ve loved these kits. She would have-”

“She’s not here anymore.” Atticus stated coldly. “She’s gone. Dead. Buried in the ground. Just like your mate that you can’t seem to get over after all these years.”

Aspenfall fixed Atticus with a stare, his expression full of shock, then grief…

Then rage.

With a yowl, he lunged at Atticus, pinning her down to the ground. He glared down at her, his claws digging into the fur on her chest.

“How. Dare. You?” He asked, his voice low. “How dare you say something so…Evil? Especially when you KNOW how it feels!”

He leaned in, so that his nose nearly touched Atticus’. “Your kits…The ones who YOU CHOSE to bring into this star-damned world…Are miserable. And it’s YOUR fault.”

Atticus growled, bristling, but made no attempt to move. “It’s not my fault. They were always brats!”

“No, they weren’t!” Aspenfall’s eyes widened, as if he couldn’t believe what Atticus was saying. “Were you really so neglectful that you can’t see a difference in their behaviors?”

He paused for a moment, sighing, before speaking. “Ashkit was the most creative kit I’ve ever seen. Always drawing. Always coming up with a new story to tell anyone who would listen. You wanna know what she does now? Nothing. She stares at the nursery wall in her nest. And when she does draw, it’s…Different. Disturbing.”

He noticed that Atticus didn’t seem to care, and he continued. “Cinderkit. Always knew what to say to the other kits to make them happy. I’ve heard her call younger cats idiots at least twice, because YOU told her that and now she’s repeating it. Now Flamekit. One of the sweetest kits ever. He used to smile so much…Now he just cries.”

Atticus’ whiskers twitched. Aspenfall looked into her eyes, hoping to see something reflected in them..But he was met with nothing.

Atticus truly didn’t care.

He let out a heavy sigh. “And now…Burnkit. He’s troubled, Atticus. All he wanted was your attention and love, and…I’m worried about him.”

“Why?” Atticus asked. 

Aspenfall wanted to yell at Atticus at that moment. How could she be so clueless?

But instead he glared down at her.

“He’s destructive, and…Violent. Way too violent for a kit his age.” He said, lowly. “He hurts the other kits, Atticus! Especially smaller kits! He tried to kill Dewkit the other day!! Do you think that’s normal behavior, Atticus?”

“No, but-”

“But what!? That’s the way he is? That’s just how he’s always been? No!” Aspenfall took some steps back, finally getting off of Atticus but keeping his eyes on her. “I don’t know why you’re trying to ignore it, Atticus, but you have got to find a way to fix this before these kits grow up and kill someone.”

Atticus rolled onto her side, staying still. When she spoke, her voice was a low hiss. “I never wanted kits. I never wanted to raise them alone.”

“Then you shouldn’t have had them.” Aspenfall said coldly. “I would kill to have had a litter like yours, Atticus. Something to remind me of the cat I loved and still have a part of them here with me…But I don’t. And I probably…Never will.”

Atticus just stared. Aspenfall kept speaking. 

“I just…I hope that one day you wake up, realize how much things are ruined, and at least…Try. To make things better. At the very least...Tell those babies that this isn't their fault.” Aspenfall allowed his voice to soften a little. “...I’m done here. I’m going back home. Stay here if you want…Or don’t.”

With that, he walked away, leaving Atticus alone with nothing but her own thoughts.

He began to trudge back to camp, his tail drooping low to the ground. 

He hadn’t ever gotten that angry in his life. If he hadn’t moved away when he did, he probably would’ve…

Aspenfall shuddered.

No.

He wasn’t a murderer.

The second he pushed through the bushes of the camp entrance, he was almost instantly greeted by Emberwhisper. The elderly tortoiseshell looked exhausted, the tip of her tail giving a few irritated twitches.

“Thank goodness you got back when you did!” She meowed. “I hate to bother you, but Burnkit is…Well, to put it nicely…Being a little terror again. Could you please come get him?”

Aspenfall sighed, turning to look at the nursery. He heard the tantrum that was about to greet him, heard the sound of Pearfur and Scrub trying desperately to calm Burnkit down. 

He had a feeling he wouldn’t be heading to bed anytime soon, like he planned.

He looked back at Emberwhisper, forced a smile, and nodded.

“Yeah, of course,” He mewed, softly. “I’ll have a talk with him. Maybe I can talk some sense into him.”