My son has a cleft lip & palate
We found out my son has a cleft lip & palate on our 20 week ultrasound.
All my pregnancy I’ve been nervous, I just wanted my baby to be ok. I wanted to feel him move asap so I’d know he was ok. I was so excited about my 20 week ultrasound, he was gonna be much bigger and maybe we’d see who hes starting to look like. My sister went with Vic & I. As the ultrasound begun the tech told us he was facing the other way! I heard the heartbeat he was ok! his organs were good. “Come on baby, lets see your beautiful face” I told myself. the tech said he needed to see his face. finally an hour later my baby turned around. We saw his face, “Hes so perfect” I thought to myself. The techs face changed. “looks like your baby has a unilateral cleft lip and its possible his palate is involved” he said. He called in the midwife and she confirmed it.
My heart dropped, everyone sounded far away. “Why?” I managed to ask out loud. “1 in 700 babies are born with a cleft lip and palate” But why”, I asked. I wanted to know what i did wrong? I’ve been taking my prenatals since before I got pregnant, gave up sushi, caffeine, even deli meats, I’ve never done drugs” I was going through everything I was doing to figure out what i did wrong. The tech said my doctor was gonna answer more. We rushed to my doctors office right before closing time and he tried to comfort us by letting us know it wasn't me. “ I've never done drugs I blurred out” As if drug use was the only thing that caused it. He looked at me straight in the eyes & said “ Ive never had a suspicion of drug use, I've had patients who used before and during & their babies arent born with clefts. He said he didnt think drug use was the main cause.
Our drive home was silent. It was silent because my heart was broken & there was nothing I could do about it. I was upset he’d have to go through so much. i was upset people were gonna judge accuse me being careless. They wouldn't believe me when I’d tell them that my sons the most important person. I look over at Vic, who was silent & he said “It’s ok, its gonna be a little harder but we have each other. its just cosmetic” I was so upset he didn't seem like he cared, why was he so calm and positive? i thought it hadn't hit him yet. Looking back, I wish I had his strength. Would've made the upcoming months enjoyable.
