#claggor angst

Claggor kneeled on the ground, everyone’s fighting around him was inaudible to his ears as he stared down at his partner of three years laying on the ground. Covered in their own blood. Watching their chest heaving rapidly up and down. His hands shook as they went to yours. “H-hey, I’m right here, I'm right here.” His voice spoke and your eyes met with his. 

A smile somehow gracing your lips. “Clags.” You rasp out, your hand that was covering your wound slowly reaching up to his face. A fight had broken out in the bar. One further into Zaun than The Last Drop. You two were traveling with Powder, Ekko, Vi and Caitlyn. Attempting to get to this place Vander had told them about. 

Saying how dangerous it was, and of course you children can’t not attract danger. Or go to it yourselves. 

“Gotta put pressure on that.” He stammers, ripping off the vest he was wearing, bunching it up and pressing down on your open bullet wound. A fight broke out between enforcers and random civilians. You guys got caught in the mix as you tried to get innocent people out of the bar. Unfortunately the Enforcers thought it was a good idea to pull out their guns. 

Leading to more unjustified violence on both ends. 

“Clags.” You repeat yourself a little louder, your hand finally colliding with his cheek. “I’m here.” He grits, keeping focus on your wound. His heart pounding, he almost couldn’t hear you the loud thumps in his ears. “It’s not gonna- it’s not going to save me, Claggor.” You pant out, already giving up on your own life. 

“Don’t say that, I got you. I’m here!” He tells you and you smile. “I know. You’re here. I’m here…” You whisper, looking behind him to see Vi and Caitlyn shoving the enforcers out of the bar as Powder and Ekko are aiding others to get them outside to their families. Or friends. 

“We’re all here.” You rub your thumb back and forth, smearing your own blood on his soft skin. “[Name]!?” A voice screams, and you feel yourself grow lightheaded. “Help me, please. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong!” Claggor shouts to his family who don’t waste a second to come to his side. Powder was gripping onto your other hand. Pleading with you not to go. 

Ekko was stunned as he stood over his girlfriend. Vi and Caitlyn were trying to help with your wound. You observed them, fighting only to see them in your last moments you knew were here. “Guys,” You mumble, everything was spinning. Getting darker and darker. No one hears you as you say their names one by one.

Trying to get their attention that you knew was futile to earn. Claggor held down on your wound, yelling to Vi and Caitlyn as he didn’t know what to do. They were all arguing about the situation. 

Not noticing that your eyes had already fell lifeless. Your heart stopped fighting. And your lungs quit breathing. Your hand that was on Claggor’s face dropped to your side. The loud thud finally got them to look at you. 

A smile still adorning your face. Your eyes half-lidded but there were no signs of you in there anymore. 

The building was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Powder turned and embraced Ekko who fell to his knees, weakly hugging her back as he stared at you. Claggor stumbled backwards. Vi and Caitlyn bowed their heads down. Tears streaming down their face, their hands gripping onto one another's. 

Claggor let out a loud, hoarse sob. It ringed in all their ears. You were gone and there was no bringing you back. 

“You sure you don’t want to be there?” Violet gently asks her brother who lays in his bed. Limply laying there as he pictures your lifeless body every time he closes his eyes. Who simply can’t hear your name anymore. 

“I’m sure.” He grunts, his eyes growing dry from how long he kept them open. Scared to close them. Scared to repeat the moment. He hasn’t slept in three days. It’s been three days since you’ve left. “Claggor, it might be good to go-”

“Violet, it’s his decision.” Vander places a hand on her shoulder. His expression was solemn. He hated seeing the boy he raised so… heartbroken. Shattered and there was no gluing him back together as there will always be a piece missing. 

Vi hesitantly nods her head, making her way out of the room. Vander frowns, taking one last glance at his son before following after her. Your funeral was today. Or a makeshift one that they were doing for you. 

It was minimalistic, only family and friends just like you would’ve wanted. 

And right before you were to be buried a figure shows, stopping them from lowering you. “I- can I say goodbye?” Claggor asks, already getting down to his knees at the same level as you. 

The four men back away. And he falters. He clings onto your body. Repeating that he was there.

Panicking and crying out his name, throat tickling by the straining being done to your vocal chords. Fear filled your entire being. Until finally it all comes to a halting stop and your torso shoots up from a lying position. Gasping for air as if you had been underwater for a long period of time.

Your hand flung to your chest, clenching- almost clawing at it as your heart beats quickly. Once your vision unblurs you’re scanning the area. Taking in the scenery. “Ekko?” Your voice was feeble, small but not hoarse like you were expecting it to be. It was gentle. More than normal. Shakily getting up from a rather large mattress.

“Ekko?” A whisper this time. Of course there wasn’t a response in return but still you searched around the room as if he was hiding. Reminding you back to when Powder and him were young, forcing you to search for them. Only this time you weren’t positively sure he was to be found. “Oh, you’re finally up!” A deep but oddly familiar voice speaks.

You jump, grabbing onto a candle holder and pointing it over to whoever just scared the shit out of you. Threatening them with the metal stick, glared and panicked eyes staring at the figure in the doorway. Steps get closer, unsheathing the person. “You gonna hit me with a candle holder, sweetheart?” He comes into view and instantaneously you feel your heart drop along with the metal that clanged against the wooden floor.

Without even thinking your body moved on its own, running over to him and pushing yourself onto him. Arms flinging around him. “Claggor?” Tears built in your eyes as you cling onto him for dear life. He grunts against your tight grip, hugging you back nonetheless. “You okay? Have another one of those weird nightmares?”

His colossal size hand rubs up and down the small of your back. You whimper in response, not able to speak. He stays silent though, figuring you need to just hold onto him. But once he hears that little sniffle and his shoulder beginning to wet he attempts to pull you back.

The strength of your hold doesn’t let him though. “You were dead.” You hiccup. And Claggor believes he understands. “That type of dream, hm?” He takes your arms, forcing you to let him go and he makes you look at him in the face. “I’m here, mkay? I’m not going anywhere for a long time.” He assures you.

You take in his features. How strong his jawline is and the fact that he’s not wearing his goggles. This isn’t YOUR Claggor. He’s Claggor, somehow. But it can’t be the same one from all those years ago. You examine him, eyes wandering all over his face. “You- you’re so pretty.” You murmur, your small hands compared to his grab onto his face on either side.

Turning his head side to side. He smiles at your antics, letting you do whatever you please. “I’m pretty?” He repeats and you hum out a tiny “yes.” He chuckles, you were practically on your tiptoes as you do this. He’s incredibly tall. Almost a giant compared to you. “You had quite a glow up.” You comment, hands now trailing downward to his arms, squeezing his biceps.

This time earning a full on laugh from the man. You pause momentarily to glance over at his face. A twitch of your lips going upward, it’s been so long since you’ve heard that laugh. “Very large…” You say mainly to yourself but he hears. “You’re silly, but as much as I hate to cut this short, you need to go get ready. We have to go meet Pow and the others at The Last Drop.” He pecks your forehead before standing up straight.

You furrow your eyebrows at the name of the bar you haven’t heard in what felt like forever. “I’ll go make us some coffee while you get yourself dressed.” He tells you before leaving the room and shutting the door behind himself. You stand there idly, not knowing exactly what drawer is yours. Or even what’s happening at this moment.

You head to the first dresser in the room that's about a foot shorter than yourself. Where multiple picture frames sit, pictures of you and Claggor wearing nice, neat clothing. Smiling happily and holding onto one another. Another picture beside that one where you sit atop his lap in a white lace dress.

You look down at your left hand that adores a single silver band. “Married?” You gawk at the simple but beautiful wedding band before looking back up at the pictures. Multiple group photos with Powder, Mylo and Ekko. No Violet?

There’s even one with Silco? What the hell is this universe?

You snap out of it, remembering that he had said you have to be somewhere. You try to think where you’d put clothing. The third drawer? Pulling it open and luckily on the first try you were right. You take out a pair of pants and a regular shirt. Not knowing exactly what to put on.

You turn around and spot a mirror nailed onto the wall. Your face scrunches, not recognizing who you’re looking at. Stepping closer to it. Your hand touches your weirdly unscarred face. Eyebags gone and you look… healthy? Your skin seemed to be less pale. Were you taller?

A few knocks are heard at the door and you snap your head over. It creaks open just slightly. “You okay in here? Taking a bit longer than normal.” He snickers, coming in and placing down a mug filled with roasted goodness. “Oh, sorry. Just a bit out of it.” You smile, crinkling your eyes. He takes a sip of his own mug, waving you off.

“You’re fine sweetheart, some dreams mess you up.” He shrugs and as he stays standing there the two of you just stare at one another. “You gonna change?” He asks, pressing his lips into a thin line. “With you in here?” You defensively question.

“Sweetheart? I’ve seen you naked plenty of times. What’s different now?” He raises a brow and your face grows warm. How stupid of you, in this universe the two of you are married. “R-right. Um, can you close your eyes? I’m feeling a little… self conscious this morning.” You lie and his face softens but does as asked. Closing his eyes for you.

You let out a sigh of relief. Roughly taking off your pajamas before shuffling on clean ones. “Okay, done!” You huff out, carrying the dirty pajamas in one of your hands. “Awesome.” He comes over to you, grabbing the laundry from you.

•••

As you’re walking through Zaun you’re amazed by how bright and happy looking everything is. Instead of the darkness and fight people went through back home. Your home.

Your hand fit nicely in your husbands as you enter the bar. The energy was different from when you were a teenager. Sneaking into the bar to see what was happening. “Hey lovebirds!” A voice booms and you feel like you were going to cry already. “Vander!” You smile, letting go of Claggor’s hand.

“How are you doing, [Name]?” He asks whilst making a drink and you beam. “I’m good, rough morning but nonetheless good. How are you?” You sit down at the bar. To him you were acting as if you hadn’t seen one another in months when in reality it had only been a few days. For you, it had been what felt like an eternity.

“I’m alright,” He chuckles, peering back to your husband who shrugs his shoulders, his hand going to your hip and laying there. An action that causes you to tense up, gazing up at him. Relaxing and smiling at him. He does the same in return. “Is uh… Is Benzo around?” You anxiously ask, hoping that he’s not dead in this universe as well.

“Ye-” “Am I around? Acting like I’ve died since the last time you’ve seen me!” Your face drops and you spin around, almost falling off as you do so. Jumping off the chair to pull him into a hug.

“Oof! Woah there!” He pats your back, letting out a small laugh while doing so. “You and your brother sure are acting weird today.” He comments and you let him go, gripping onto his shoulders. “Where’s Ekko?” You spit out.

•••

And now you’re with him, standing where your home would be in your guys’ universe. Empty, showing no signs of life. “I can’t believe you said that to her.” You grimace and he nudges you. “It wasn’t on purpose.” He defends himself, causing you to laugh. “I know but you do not have a way with words. Like at all.” You bare your teeth.

“And you’re married in this universe. That’s crazy.” He changes the subject to which you roll your eyes. Looking down at the ring on your finger. Fidgeting with it with your thumb. “Yeah…” You trail off.

“Is it weird? For you?” He asks and you tilt your head. “All of this is weird, Ekko.”

“No I know, I just. Powder or Jinx whatever is still alive. I never truly experienced her actual death. You experienced Claggors. And to see him alive? How does it feel?”

You stay quiet momentarily, chewing at your bottom lip as you truly think about what he’s asking. “It’s strange. Hearing his voice- a deeper version at that. Seeing what he would’ve grown into. What we would’ve grown into.” You blink away tears harshly. “That this is never possible where we come from. That the last time I ever saw him was dead against a wall with Mylo on the other side of me. Somehow I lived.” You avert his gaze that focused on you as you spoke.

“I- I hate this as it’s a reminder that this isn’t mine. But I love it, selfishly because I can have him here. I can love him here, proudly and loudly. Not having to grip onto a pair of goggles whenever I want to see him. I can just go… see him.” You overly explain to him as a singular tear falls down your left eye.

“You don’t plan on leaving with Heimerdinger and I, do you?” He quietly asks and you look up at him. “I couldn’t do that to you.” You answer him truthfully.

“But if I told you I think you should stay. Would you?” The both of you sit down against the large wall. Your silence was an answer within its own but he repeats himself. “Are you telling me I should stay?”

He was so stuck in thought that he didn’t even notice the figure that walked into the room, quietly moving past the couch and plopping down on the chair that was across from the two. “You’re so hopeless.” The voice teases to which the boy rolls his eyes at his older sister. “She got tired, I’m not going to just shove her off of me.” He defends himself, sure to be careful with his tone to not wake her up.

“Right, totally not because you’re in love with her and are secretly enjoying this.” The pink-haired girl pokes fun at him, his face erupting into a bright red color. The tips of his ears also heated up in response. “I’m not- I don’t-” He stammers, and she raises a brow. Curious about what he’s trying to say.

Instead though, he feels you stirring awake, your legs stretching off of the couch. Pushing yourself further onto him for a moment before you tiredly sit up. “Damn, I fell asleep?” You groggily ask, looking around the room with squinted eyes. “Oh, hey Vi.” You breathe out, waving to the girl who sat on the other side of the room. She had a smug expression laid on her face which confused you but you ignore it for the time being.

“Thanks for being a comfy pillow, Claggor. You’re the best.” You pat his knee as you get up, yawning and stretching in the process. Your shirt slightly lifting up, showing your mid-drift. No care in the world on your end. Claggor on the other hand was accidentally staring at that tiny slit of skin.

Clearing his own throat as he spots someone’s eyes on him and looking away dramatically. “I should get going.” You tell the two. Claggor stands up, almost tripping on his own feet as does so.

“I’ll uh, I’ll walk you home.” He says, pointing to the door and letting you lead the way out.

You smile bashfully. “You don’t have to.” You tell him and he shrugs his shoulders. “I want to.” It was simple, bare minimum of a friend to do but for some reason it causes your heart beat to speed up.

“Okay, awesome.” You clasp your hands in front of your body, walking out of the room. Him following shortly behind. Not before glancing back to his sister who has a proud look on her face and giving him thumbs up.

•••

And days later when Vi is telling you about the trip they’re doing to the Upper city and your eyes widen at her words. “I don’t think Vander’s going to like that, Vi.” You pout your lips and she scoffs. “I can do it, it will help us out. All of us.” She exclaims.

Your eyes soften and you sigh. “I mean yeah, but… it’s dangerous. What if you get caught? Who even told you about this?” You question her, leaning over the counter, plopping a chip in your mouth as she jumps down from said counter top.

“Your brother, Ekko.” She informs you and you take a deep breath. “Of course he did.” You shake your head. Ekko isn’t your biological brother but you were the one who found him out on the streets, no parents around.

You took him to Benzo, the man who took you in when you were a baby. And ever since then you’ve been somewhat of a family.

“I bet it was one of the customers. He tries to haggle money out of them whenever he can.” You snicker to yourself, thinking back to the few times where he got triple the price of the actual item.

“Just… be safe please. Is everyone going with you? Even Powder?” You raise a brow at the pink-haired girl who places her hands on her hips. “Yeah, gotta teach her to stand her own.” Violet steals a chip from your bag.

The door opens and Claggor along with Mylo push through. Mylo going on about something that happened moments ago. Claggor silently following behind.

Once his eyes landed on you though, he shoves his brother away. Walking toward you. “Heyyy, [Name]!” He- almost too enthusiastically- speaks up with a giddy smile on his lips. “Hi, Clag!” Your face heats up. Violet backs away from the kitchen, heading over to Mylo who was about to open his mouth to complain.

Only to be stopped by Violet smacking a hand over it. She points to how they’re talking. Claggor has a hand on the counter, intently listening to you speak and you rambling but subtly checking every now and then to see if he’s paying attention. Growing shy each time you accidentally look in his eyes.

The two stand there, amused. But after some time it got boring, sneakily leaving the room to bother the little’s.

“Vi told me about what you’re going to be doing.” You quietly bring up and his head lifts to look at you. “Oh.”

“Yeah, I think I’m going to join.” You tell him and his eyes widen. “I don’t- that’s not a good idea.” He shakes his head, disagreeing with you tagging along. “Huh? Why not?” You frown. “It’s just, not… We’ve been doing this for a while and you… haven’t.” He explains, trying his best to not come across mean.

Unfortunately, it still hurts your feelings. “Are you saying I’d do bad?” You cross your arms. “N-no! Not at all! I don’t think it’d be safe!” He digs himself into a further hole. “I’d screw things up?”

“No! No! Ugh, [Name]!” He cries out and your once upset expression wrinkles as you begin to laugh. “I’m messing with you!” You nudge him. “I’m not going, but you gotta promise me you’re gonna be safe. Alright!?” You stink your hand out, a thing you two have done since forever. A silent promise but a binding one. He can’t break it. He gazes down at your hand then back to your face. Taking your hand and you two do three firm shakes before fist bumping.

•••

“I saw everything!” Ekko cries and you open your arms, eyes filled with fear. “B-Benzo, he-“ He falls into you and a gasp leaves your mouth. You and Vi had seen him get torn apart as well. Getting locked in the room together by your father figures. Not knowing that was going to be truly the last time you saw them. “What about Vander?” Violet asks from behind you guys. “They took him.” Ekko quietly answers and you glance back to the girl. “Where?” She inquires and you whimper, shaking your head no at her. “It’s not a good idea-“

“Where?” She repeats.

The two of you open the door, rushing down the stairs. “Vi? [Name]?”

“Where’s the-“

“Oh, you’re back.” Powder hugs Violet tightly but she starts to tear up and you pull her into your arms instead. Violet reaches for the metal gloves on the coffee table. “Hey. Those are Vander’s. Slow down. What’s going on?” Mylo pushes her away as he questions her.

“Benzo’s dead.” Violet shakes out, Claggor glances over at you who still holds onto Powder. The little girl hugging you a little tighter now. “Dead?” Claggor whispers. “They took Vander.”

“Who took Vander?” Mylo panics. “I don’t know. But I need to help him.” She responds. “We’re going with you.” Mylo states. “Whatever killed Benzo… was like nothing I’ve ever seen. It tore him apart.” Violet breaks down and you let go of Powder, joining the two boys in comforting her. “You’re not doing this alone, Vi.” Claggor assures her and you hum. “He’s our father too.”

“They killed mine, I couldn’t let that happen to yours too.” You chime in, the three look at you with solemn expressions but you held yourself together. “Do we know where they took him?” Mylo asks.

“My brother followed them, the old cannery next to the docks is what he said.” You inform them, all of you getting your things together to fight this. Claggor, Mylo and you already out of the door, waiting for Violet.

“Do you think it’s a good idea to leave her here?” You ask nervously, fidgeting with your hands. “It’s our best option.” Mylo mutters and you slap him.

“It’s the truth.” He huffs. “I know but I’m just worried.”

•••

And you should’ve been. The fire that engulfs everything around you. Pushing yourself up from the ground. The moment of Claggor and Mylo dying replaying over and over in your head. Tears and blood stain your face. Grunting with each movement you make. Coughing because of the smoke.

Bending down you grab Claggor’s goggles, seeing fractions of your best friend’s body along with his brother’s beside him. You squeeze your eyes shut, running to get out of the burning building. “Violet! Vander!” You shout, screaming for someone to hear you, anyone. Your throat began to hurt with each call.

You were starting to give up hope that anyone was alive. Instead of searching you knew you needed to get out before something collapsed onto you. Your feet clumsily moved beneath you, rushing out and to the place you once called home. Begging that your brother actually stayed put.

•••

As the years pass you and Ekko built something together, a sanctuary. A safe place for people of the Undercity. The Fireflies. And even as the time passes the pain of that night never left you. The goggles that were worn by your best friend stayed on you at all times. Either on your head or apart of your clothing that you wore. Never forgetting him.

Latching on to the one thing you have of him. The boy who was also your first crush. It was a type of pain that you were never going to move on from. Claggor, the first and last boy you’d ever set your heart on.

“[Name]!” A voice calls for you and you let out an annoyed breath, standing up from your spot against the wall. “Yes, Ekko?” You brush off your hands, looking over at your brother who shoves a leaf into your face. “Heimerdinger is taking us to a lab.” He tells you, not giving you the chance to ask questions or understand what was going on. Already walking away as fast as he came into your view.

You confusedly stand there for a moment before rushing after him. “What the hell is on that leaf?” You inquire, grabbing onto his arm but not stopping him from walking. “I don’t know. We’re going to try and find out though.” He explains.

Following behind Ekko and the professor, you and your brother give each other curious but confused glances as Heimerdinger was acting as if you guys were on a stealth mission.

All of a sudden he stops, putting his hand in the air and doing a random signal. “Shh, the brambleback has left the jungle.” He whispers and you quietly giggle at the little man. “Uh, you do realize code phrases don;t work when you make them up on the spot?” Ekko asks but it falls on deaf ears with no response.

You were amused, following the little man to an opening that has a ladder. Heimerdinger going up first with you behind him. Helping him lift the heavy metal up and away from the hole.

He climbs out, reaching a hand out to help you up. To humor him, you take it and get out yourself. Both of you turning to assist Ekko but a bright blue light and a loud sound interrupt you. You look to see a large weapon that was opening, eyes wide. “Professor?” An unknown man to you and Ekko speaks, placing his rather large hammer thing down. “Yes, of course! What the devil’s gotten into you?” Heimerdinger exclaims to the man as you help Ekko out, still clinging on his arm once he’s up.

“I thought… Why are you breaking into my lab? And who are they?” He points to you two young adults. “This is my new pupil, Ekko. And his sister, [Name].” Ekko folds his arms over his chest as you have a hard, unreadable expression on your face as you eye the man up and down. “Ekko, [Name], my formal pupil Jayce.” Finishing introductions, Ekko and Jayce both let out small grunts to acknowledge one another.

“Gonna be a host or be rude. I’d like some tea.” [Name] says before walking to Heimerdinger and following him around the lab.

Ekko hands Jayce the leaf to their tree, asking what it is. The four then go to one of the microscopes, getting to sit down. “Where did you find this?” Jayce asks the siblings. [Name] glances over to her brother who answers. “Deep in the underground.”

“Ekko and [Name]’s home is a marvelous place, truly a wonder. You should see what-“

“Ahem.” The two clear their throats, nudging him to shut up. He realizes what he did, attempting to backtrack but it worsens. Ekko hitting him to stop. “Did any of the plants survive?” [Name] speaks over the two in an annoyed tone. “They weren’t what we were trying to save. But this pattern. How could it be there and here?” Jayce asks. The three then stand up, following after the professor who sees something. A large sheet of… something. And it seems like a body once laid in it.

“Oh no…” Heimerdinger murmurs. “Where’s Viktor?” He asks, Jayce awkwardly gets quiet in return. You give him a weird look.

“Do you think he’d let me keep this?” You lift a random object to Heimerdinger, waving it around with a smile. He chuckles. “I don’t think he’d miss it. Just don’t ask.” He responds, putting a finger to his lips. Both of you giggling like children as Jayce and Ekko were talking about the Arcane. Neither of you were paying attention to the conversation. Leading you to be upset with yourself when you four are now walking to an unknown place.

“How do you know so much about its design?” Jayce asks as he places his weapon against the door. “Read what I could. Deduced what I couldn’t. Plus I didn’t think the Topside would trust anything that important below the surface.” Ekko explains himself.

After the weapon shines just like before, somehow giving power to the door, he places the hammer down. The door begins to open to a bright electronically room. “I thought the gem stone mesh was installed above ground?” You speak up, joining in finally.

“The mesh is above ground but we weren’t sure what would happen in the gate overloaded, so we installed a failsafe at the base.” The man tells you.

“So instead of it exploding in your neighborhood, it would blow up in ours.” You point a finger at him, eyebrows furrowing together. Ekko beside you with an angry expression. “We’re miles away from the main fissures.” Jayce defends.

“These are the same utility ducts that carry our water and facilitate our ventilation. That would explain it affecting the tree.” Ekko turns to you and you gasp. Both of you now pissed with the man. Now starting to argue with him.

It doesn’t last long, getting cut off by the room shifting in a weird way. [Name] grabs onto her brother protectively. The room is now bright white. The only thing in there is a wild looking object with the same patterns as the leaf from your tree.

“Is that a wild rune?” Ekko asks, shielding his sister behind him.

“I have no idea what that is.” Jayce says breathily. [Name] clenches her fist on Ekko’s jacket.

The four of them watching the odd thing move. Jayce suddenly reaches out to it. “What are you doing!?” [Name] shouts, and as he does everything goes weird.

Heimerdinger gasps, his body stretching. Ekko and you attempt to run but it pauses you in place while also separating you from one another. “Ekko!” You scream.