#ciscait

The DJ is a lanky, nerdy thing, very much similar to old pictures of Barry Iris showed Cisco from their days in high school. He tapped the kid on the shoulder, waiting for him to stop bopping to this horrible excuse of a song and remove his headphones.

“I’m sorry, Friday? What year is this, 2011?”

“I think it’s pretty rocking.”

Cisco groaned. “Okay, how much are they paying you for this gig? Fifty? Eighty? One Hundred?” Cisco slid over several twenty from his pocket. “I will double whatever they’re offering if you play something better. I’m desperate.”

The boy looked at the cash longingly, but shook his head.

“Sorry Sir, this song was requested.”

“By who?” Cisco cried, trying to forget that this dude called him sir. He may not be twenty-three anymore, and he may be wearing an itchy fake mustache, but god forbid anyone actually starts treating Cisco like an old irrelevant man.

The DJ pointed out a bossy girl teetering in heels wearing a flower crown.

“Oh Lord, she’s just as crazy as her father,” Cisco muttered under his breath. Of course it had to be Yelena, Dr. Sinister’s fourteen year old daughter.

Cisco rolled his eyes and left the DJ to his horrible life choices, maneuvering around the cheering pre-adolescent children on the dance floor as they slosh their orange crush over the rims of their red solo cups.

“It’s no use,” Cisco grumbled to Caitlin, who was leaning against the wall as Friday faded out and Miley Cyrus circa 2008 started next. He grabbed two drinks from a passing caterer tray. 

He peered into the first glass.

“Shirley Temple?” Cisco guessed, handing the pink concoction to Caitlin.

“Thanks,” she said. She took a careful sip, grimaced, then rolled her eyes at finding Cisco covering his ears like a child.  

“What do you expect?”  She said, and Cisco let out a long tired sigh. He hates when she excuses crazy situations they get themselves into with logic.  “This is a teenage dance hall converted into a makeshift club for the birthday party of a 14 year old who happens to be best friends with the daughter of Barry’s newest arch nemesis.”

“What I expect is to not have to fear that my brain will bleed out of my ears before the end of the day!”

“You’re being so dramatic,” Caitlin laughed, “As if you don’t love Lady Gaga and Katy Perry.”

Cisco scoffed, offended. “I’m sorry but Poker Face cannot even compare to Fly On The Wall and you know it.”

A teenager came up to them then. “Excuse me, are you two the chaperones?”

Caitlin bended down, “Yes! My name is Katherine Rodriguez and this is my husband, Arlo. We’re Sonya’s parents.”

The kid gave Caitlin and Cisco a once over. “You two don’t look anything like her.”

They shoot each other a quick look before both replying at the same time.

“She looks like her grandmother.”

“She’s adopted.”

Caitlin stepped on Cisco’s foot. “Uh, what we mean is we adopted Sonya when she was three but we were told she looks like her maternal grandmother.”

The girl snapped her gum, “Yeah, whatever. We’re, like, not friends or anything.”

Cisco tilted his head to the side and squinted. “Is there a point to this or…”

The girl seemed to remember the reason why she came and perked up, “Oh this is, like, tbh, really awkward now, but I just wanted to let you know that I caught her picking on Yelena. Maybe you should go and see what’s going on.”

Yelena Sinister. Dr. Sinister’s daughter. Perfect. The plan was working.

Caitlin tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and blinked innocently. Cisco snorts. Is that how Caitlin thought it looked to be motherly? He’d tease her later about it if he didn’t find it so weirdly endearing. “Oh, I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding,” Caitlin said, placatingly.

The kid looked skeptical, but put her hands up as if to say Oh well I tried  and turned back to the buffet table.

“Arlo?” Cisco exclaimed, scandalized, once the girl was out of earshot.  

“It rhymes with Cisco!” Caitlin defended, peering over the crowd for Nora. “It should be any moment now.”

“Are you sure she knows what she’s doing?” Cisco asked.

Caitlin nodded, “It’s Nora. She practically begged us to let her do it. Besides, you know she’d do anything to help her dad with a mission. Even if it means crashing a lame party and going by the terrible fake name Sonya.”

Cisco stopped sipping his club soda to retort, “Like Sonya is so much worse than Arlo.”

Cisco could feel they were just about to get into an epic bickering match over names when a man about five years older than Cisco comes towards them. 

“Excuse me,” The man interrupted politely.

He was tall and somewhat handsome, but very obviously not naturally blonde. However, Cisco supposed it wasn’t fair to judge. Caitlin was sporting a ginger wig, like she was channeling a young Molly Ringwald and Cisco’s own fake mustache and goatee Iris forced onto him made him laugh so hard the first time he saw himself in a mirror, they almost flew off his face.

“Are you the other chaperone?”

The question was pointed at Cisco.

“Yes, I’m Arlo,” Cisco introduced himself, and he really did have to fake the smile. He shook his hand, “And this is my wife, Katherine.”

“Oh!” The man flushed pink and began to stutter. “Oh, we met before.”

Caitlin began to flush too, and Cisco sensed he was missing something.

“Really...When was this?” Cisco asked.

“I believe you were with the DJ. You know, it’s so refreshing to hear our children listen to appropriate songs, thank you for reminding the DJ of that.”

Caitlin hid her laugh in a cough as Cisco’s fake smile turned into a pained expression.

“Well, yes. That’s my job, protecting the children,” Cisco said smoothly.

The man turned to Caitlin.

“I’m so terribly sorry, Katherine. I didn’t know you were married or else I never would’ve said those things.”

Cisco raised an eyebrow, “I’m sorry, what? Wait...Were you flirting with my wife?”

Cisco found himself getting ticked off, and it was weird, how he didn’t even have to pretend to feel vindictive. How he had no real claim at all over Caitlin but he still wanted to put his arm around her waist and drag her the hell away from this man.

Cisco didn’t like the way he looked at her. Cisco didn’t like the way she looked at him either, especially with her all flustered like this.  

Caitlin put her hand on Cisco’s arm, sensing his discomfort. “I thought Eric was being friendly, I swear. It didn’t click until just now.”

Caitlin’s explanation felt sincere, and Cisco felt himself unwind when Caitlin kissed his cheek, for show, obviously, but still, it was a nice gesture for him...Or was it for Arlo? Cisco was starting to get confused.

For what it’s worth, the man truly did seem like he wanted a hole to swallow him up.

“I’m so sorry I flirted with your wife, man. I was just saying she looks so young to have a teenage daughter.” Eric paused to look at Cisco, “I mean, so do you. Also, I couldn’t help but notice neither of you wear wedding rings.”

Oh damn. Cisco knew they forgot something.

Caitlin smiled tightly. “We’re both allergic to gold, not that it’s any of your business.”

“Of course. Again, my apologies. Anyway, whose parents are you again?”

“Sonya.”

“How old is she?”

Cisco and Caitlin both spoke at the same time. Again.

“Eleven.”

“Fourteen.”

This was why Cisco and Caitlin hated working undercover.They sucked. 

All three chuckled awkwardly.

Cisco cleared his throat, “We adopted Sonya when she was three...” He began, and Caitlin continued on for him when he began to falter.

“Exactly, so she’s really fourteen in age but we’ve only had her for eleven.”

They linked their arms together, smiling charmingly.

Speaking of their fake daughter, Cisco was hoping Nora picked up the pace so they could call Dr. Sinister already and get him out of his lair. Barry must’ve been staked out there for over two hours now.

Nosy Eric, as Cisco began to call him in his head, even though he probably doesn’t deserve it, frowned. “My daughter never mentioned her before. How does she know Vanessa?”

“Who?” Cisco frowned.

“Vanessa? My daughter.” Eric began to grow impatient, “The birthday girl.”

“Oh, right, I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over this wholesome music!” Cisco replied, snidely.

Caitlin jabbed an elbow into Cisco’s rib. “Sonya was invited by Yelena. They go to piano lessons together.”

“I see. Wait a minute...Yelena doesn’t go to piano lessons. She does ballet.”

Thankfully, Nora swooped in and saved them when a loud crash followed by shrieking caused everyone to swerve their heads to see what the commotion was.

Cisco, Caitlin and Eric ran over to the dessert table where Nora was bent over, hands on her knees, laughing her ass off at Yelena who was on the floor, covered head to toe with hot melted chocolate from Vanessa’s chocolate fountain.

“You little bitch!” Yelena cried, slipping in the gooey mess as Vanessa stood several feet away completely stunned.

“Language!” Eric scolded at her, but it became very clear he agreed. 

The snitch that advised Caitlin and Cisco crossed her arms over her chest and sighed loudly, “I warned you.”

All of their friends were pointing and laughing, which would’ve made Cisco feel a little bad if she wasn’t the spoiled brat spawn of one of Earth’s most despicable metahumans. 

It was time to spring to action.

Cisco offered Yelena a hand as Eric began to scream at Caitlin about Nora ruining his daughter’s party.

“Your daughter did this?! I thought you said they were friends!” Eric accused, snapping at the teens to put their phones away.

“I can’t believe Sonya did this, I’m so sorry,” Caitlin apologized profusely, pretending to be aghast.

Cisco looked at his goddaughter straight in the eye and mentally psyched himself to sound as fatherly and as angry as possible when all he wanted to do was laugh. She quirked an eyebrow challengingly with a mischievous smirk.

“Sonya Isabella Rodriguez how dare you,” he scolded, “Your mother and I raised you so much better than this. Have you not one ounce of shame? This behaviour of yours is out of hand!”

Nora pinched her fingers together discreetly, telling him to tone it down a notch.

“But Daaaaaaaaad!” Nora whined, “You would’ve done it too if you knew what she’s like!”

“I don’t care,” Cisco said, “You’re coming home immediately. Apologize to this poor girl right away. Also you’re grounded.”

Caitlin rushed to the table to get napkins and wiped off the chocolate from Yelena’s hands.

“Here,” she said, whipping he phone out where it was conveniently left at the dial page. “Call your parents, honey. They’ll pick you up.”

Smart move, Cisco thought. Now Caitlin will have Dr. Sinister’s cell phone number, a valuable asset for tracking him in the future, and potentially finding out where else he goes.

Teary-eyed and humiliated, Yelena took Caitlin’s phone gingerly and called her father. She began wailing into the phone, and Cisco continued to fake berate Nora until she hung up.

“My daddy is coming right away to pick me up,” Yelena sniffed, picking her wilted flower crown from off the sticky floor.

Cisco shuffled Nora towards her. “Yelena, Sonya has something she’d like to say.”

Caitlin grabbed her cell back,  texting Barry that Dr. Sinister should be leaving any minute, and that he should go ahead the moment the coast is clear.

Yelena shot Cisco a death glare she definitely learned from her father. “Your daughter is a fake ass wannabe weirdo who doesn’t even go to our middle school! I never invited you! Nobody knows who you are! How dare you crash Vanessa’s party!”

Nora’s jaw dropped, “Yeah, well you’re a prissy princess daddy’s girl! Even worse, your dad is a total psycho!”

Yelena gasped, then lunged at Nora, slapping her right across the face.

Cisco sent Caitlin a panicked look. Name calling and slapping fights that could end up exposing their fake identities during their undercover mission was not part of the plan.

“Okaaay! That’s enough! We’re going home now!” Cisco said in a rush, dragging Nora away by the collar of her skater dress. Quickly, Nora sped the three off to the dance hall’s lobby where Cisco opened a breach and they all quickly jumped through it and into Star Labs.

~.~

Iris startled at the control board of the cortex. She surveyed the three of them catching their breath and narrowed her eyes. 

“Why is there chocolate all over my eleven year old daughter’s hair?”

Nora threw both her hands up in the air, “You were the one who said Uncle Cisco and Aunt Caitlin needed me to get into the party!” 

Iris opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “Well... Yes, but it was their job to end the party and get Dr. Sinister out of his lair! Not yours.”

“Hey,” Said Cisco, putting a hand on Nora’s shoulder. “We were the ones that let   Nora get involved in the mission, and she did an excellent job, if not slightly carried away at the end, but who could blame her.”

Iris massaged her temples, “You couldn’t have pulled the fire alarm or something?”

Caitlin shrugged sheepishly, “...We didn’t think of that.”

“Sweetie, come here,” Iris said to Nora, but at that moment Barry’s voice crackled over the intercom system, requesting Iris and Cisco for help.

 He must have found something in Dr. Sinister’s lair.

“Ah crap,” Iris sighed, “Caitlin, do you mind?”

Caitlin shook her head and beckoned Nora over to the Med Bay, “Here, let’s get you cleaned up.”

She made Nora sit on the examining table and wet some paper towels to wipe the chocolate out of her hair.

“That was fun,” Nora said happily.

“I”m glad you thought so, but I’m sorry you got hit. Does it hurt?”

“Not really,” Nora reached towards Caitlin’s head to take off the red wig. “You looked like Kim Possible.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Caitlin smiled.

“Aunt Caitlin, can I ask you a question?”

Caitlin turned off the water faucet, and turned towards her, all ears.

“Sure,” Caitlin replied.

“I saw that guy talking to you. Why didn’t you get his number?”

Caitlin raised an eyebrow at the little speedster. This wasn’t what she had in mind when Nora asked to chat. 

“It would’ve blown the cover. I was pretending to be married to Uncle Cisco, remember?”

“But you’re not in real life!”  Nora objected.

Caitlin handed her a junior sized Star Labs sweatshirt and sweatpants to change into. Nora hopped off the table to get dressed.

“Yes,” Caitlin agreed, “But that man didn’t know that. I didn’t want his number anyway.”

“Why not?” Nora asked innocently.

“I just didn’t.” 

“So if you’re not with anyone, and you’re not really with Uncle Cisco, then why haven’t you or Uncle Cisco ever had a boyfriend or girlfriend?”

Caitlin paused, taken aback. It was true that she had been single for a long time, but coincidentally, Caitlin had never been more content in her life than she was now. She had her life back in order, she had struck up an unlikely friendship with her alter ego, who had been less Killer and more Frost for several peaceful years. She made amends with her mother and was in fact really proud of her work with Barry, Star Labs and her personal research.

 “I can’t speak for Uncle Cisco but I’m happy with my life as is. I don’t need anyone new.” Caitlin looked out the window at Cisco, giving Barry directions of what kind of tech to look for in Dr. Sinister’s lab and sighed wistfully.She was right. She didn’t need anyone new. It was an old friend that she had wrapped around her finger.  

Nora followed her gaze.

“You looked awfully happy pretending to be Mrs. Rodriguez, though,” Nora pointed out.

Caitlin blushed. It wasn’t lost on her that there was a lot of truth to that statement. “I was playing pretend,” Caitlin insisted, knowing how weak that sounded..

Nora put a hand on her hip sassily, pursing her lips a lot like her mother.

“Were you, though?” She pressed.

Caitlin ruffled the damp hair of Nora’s head, shutting down the conversation all together. She loved the kid, but she sure was Barry Allen’s daughter, meddling in personal affairs.  “You’re all good to go. Why don’t you run home to your brother. I’m sure he misses you.”

“Yeah, okay.”

Caitlin opened a drawer and handed her a lollipop. Nora rolled her eyes. “I’m too old for these.”

Cisco peeked his head in at that moment, his faux facial hair all gone, “No no,” He admonished, “You’re never too old for candy.”

He snatched Nora’s lollipop out of her hand, unwrapped the plastic and plopped it in his mouth. “Your loss my gain,” he said, muffled around the candy.

“Just think about what I said,” Nora told Caitlin, then sped out the building.

Cisco leaned forward. “What was she talking about?”

Caitlin fiddled with her medicine drawers. “Um,” she said lightly, shaking her head like it was no big deal, “Just about us being Mr. and Mrs. Rodriguez. She didn’t quite believe that we were acting.”

Cisco sat in down heavily in Caitlin’s office chair. “But you told her we were…” 

“Of course.” 

Cisco sighed. “Right.” 

Caitlin turned around, curious at Cisco’s tone of voice. “Why, you wish we weren’t?” She felt overly conscious about the way her heart  sudden quickened in pace.

Cisco made a contemplative humming noise, “Weeeellll,” he dragged out the word, avoiding Caitlin’s gaze. He toyed his dress shoes into the floor as he swiveled left-right-left in her chair and removed the candy from his mouth. 

“Arlo might’ve been a little jealous that a man was interested in his wife. It made him feel a bit stupid. Arlo has this amazing beautiful woman and he never really tells her enough what she means to him, he always kind of assumed she knew.”

“Ah,” Caitlin responded. Cisco glanced up at her, vulnerability written all over his face. “What does Katherine think?”

Caitlin lifted a shoulder, nonchalant. “Katherine was too wrapped up in her feelings about Arlo to even notice that another man was interested. Katherine felt silly that she lost her touch. And then she felt not so silly, because who was she trying to impress, if Arlo cared about her so deeply without her even having to try?”

“Really?” 

They weren’t joking anymore. 

Caitlin nodded. “Yeah.” 

“I do,” Cisco breathed. “Care about you deeply. So much. For so long.”

Caitlin felt like she might die. In a really good way. In a ‘I ate three belly burgers and had one milkshake too many but I’m so very happy’ way.

“Is this Arlo talking or Cisco?” Caitlin teased, holding her breath.

Cisco stood up and grabbed Caitlin’s hand, tugging her towards him. “It’s Cisco,” He said softly, seriously. “It’s me. I’d be lying if I said you’re not who I want. Who I think about all the time. Who I’d want to be my partner in crime not just when we fight crime.”

Caitlin squeezed their joint hands. “That’s a relief. Caitlin feels the same way.”

Cisco moved closer, following Caitlin with his eyes, beaming. He leaned in just as Caitlin placed her hands on his waist when Nora zipped back into the Med Bay with her twin brother in tow, scaring the two half to death.

They jumped into each other’s arms as Nora crowed in victory. “Thank you speedforce!” She exclaimed, “I did it! You owe me ten bucks!”

“Congratulations,” Don cheered as unenthusiastically as a kid could sound. “No offense, but I thought it was never going to happen.” He handed Nora a crumpled Hamilton.

“See, I told you it would work!” She stuck her tongue out at Don smugly.

Suddenly all the puzzle pieces clicked. “Wait a minute…” Cisco said, shaking his head at Nora, impressed. “We’ve been bamboozled! You were the one that put the idea that we should be your fake parents in our heads! You set us up!”

“To be fair,” Nora pointed out, “You are our godparents, so it’s not like it’s that unrealistic.”  

Caitlin tilted her head, thinking that reasoning over. “I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“Who cares!” Nora cried, “You’re together now!” 

“Okay, thank you, we owe you. Now let us have our moment!” Cisco said, ushering the Tornado Twins away. 

They zoomed off, and Cisco could hear Iris yelling after them as he pulled the curtain around the bed. 

“Now,” Cisco said, winking, “Where were--Mmmph!”