Whatever Happened to THX? Pulled Pork on a Brioche.
You ever ask yourself, “Hey, whatever happened to THX?” Remember that? That giant earth-shaking sound logo that hit you like God clearing his throat? THX — the seal of approval from Lucasfilm telling you this theatre wasn’t screwing around.
If you saw that three-letter badge, you knew the projectionist was basically a Jedi Knight with a light meter.
Where’d all that go?
Why don’t you see THX anymore?
I’ll tell you exactly what happened:
Pulled pork on a brioche happened. 🍔✨
Cineplex looked at THX — the ultimate standard in image geometry, black levels, acoustics — and said:
“Eh… can it be served with fries?”
Because THX was about presentation.
It was about the MOVIE.
It was about making sure Darth Vader didn’t look like he was walking through a foggy basement because the bulb was half-dead.
And Cineplex VIP comes along like:
“Sir, welcome to your premium experience, would you like a $19 cocktail and a pork sandwich?”
Meanwhile the projector is so dim you could stare straight into it like it’s a Christmas ornament.
Black levels? Grey.
Not even subtle.
Just… grey.
Like wet cement. 🌫️
That’s the whole Garth Drabinsky concession-first philosophy becoming sentient.
In the ’80s, he starts pushing the idea that the money is in the food, not the film.
And over 40 years, that idea mutates like a virus into VIP — a restaurant disguised as a movie theatre, using a projector that couldn’t pass a TAP alignment test if you bribed it.
THX died the moment Cineplex realized pulled pork had a higher profit margin than proper foot-lamberts.
And now whenever a director tries to make cinema about presentation again, Cineplex folds like a cheap lawn chair.
Just look at the Oppenheimer debacle:
70mm screenings out of focus, canceled shows, people being kicked out of auditoriums — Cineplex scrambling to fix a projector like they’re googling “how to align 70mm” five minutes before showtime.
But hey! At least you got your brioche bun.
So yeah — THAT’S what happened to THX.
It didn’t fade away.
It didn’t become obsolete.
It got run over by a server carrying flatbread pizza during a dramatic silence.🍕🤦♂️
The legacy of premium cinema presentation didn’t die naturally.
It was smothered under a mountain of VIP menus.
And you know what the Oscars should do at this point?
Since Cineplex VIP has basically turned movies into background noise for chewing, the Academy might as well introduce a brand-new category:
🎬 Best Picture (to Eat a Pulled Pork Sandwich To) 🍔✨
Or:
Best Movie That Doesn’t Require You to Look at the Screen
Because THAT’S where we are.
THX used to be the standard.
Now the standard is:
Whatever’s Bright Enough to See While Someone in Row D Cuts Into a Steak.
