#chronically il

Needless to say, it was probably one of the most embarrassing things I have experienced in the last few years. 

So my boyfriend and his coworkers and their significant others decide to take a night out. 

If you know me, you’d know this is a rarity. Most times you can catch me in the same outfit in the same place on the couch binging something like Friends or Will and Grace.

I guess what frustrates me the most about this whole experience is that I wasn’t even the level of drunk that I should have been to fucking fracture my ankle doing the limbo.

Anyway, we get a large fishbowl for four people to share, we have a few shots and we’re having a great time. That’s about where the great time in the night ended.

“Limbo time!” I heard someone, probably the owner of the joint, call out. Now I had to be tipsy to say “Hey, yeah that sounds fun, let’s go!” So, I will give the alcohol a little credit there. 

I go under the bar the first time. It’s already set surprisingly low and it catches me off guard. My knee hits the floor and no one really says anything so I figure I’d give it another, better go. The second time under, I heard a pop or a snap in my ankle as I’m in the middle of the bar in that back-breaking position. My ankle rolls to the other side and sprains that side. I fall and flop down the way a little bit because what I’m worried about is the next people in line getting through, not fixing myself. I tried jumping back up but ended up falling on my ass again from the pain. Any bystander at the bar would be praying that my drunkass was even able to find an uber later. I sit there on the floor for a little bit, just kind of acting like I belong there until some random nice guy offered me a hand. I slink away as fast as I can to find my best friend who got me back to our seating area.

Here’s where the night didn’t get any better. 

We had taken my friend’s car because she was the sober driver. I was carried to the car where I couldn’t decide if I was more embarrassed or in pain so I combination laugh/cried for about 15 minutes.

All the while in the backseat, homegirl can’t hold her liquor and is threatening to purge the fishbowl on my friend’s back seat. We made it home in time for girl to make it to the bathroom with her boyfriend and my foot literally looks like Texas. 

Made for a great story, but ended in me being in a boot/aircast for 6 weeks and out of work. On the bright side, everyone else seems to find it pretty funny, maybe one day I will actually find it funny and not pathetically funny. My brother is already warning me about my Christmas present this year. “Just make sure your ankles are warm.” He says.