#chromecatalyst

Jared has been in love with Jensen for a while now.

They always had been close, touching and hugging, personal space practically non-extinct between them. A certain tension always there, one where Jared never was really sure if it was sexual, one that had turned into slow kisses a few times when there had been to much alcohol involved. But drunk kisses didn’t really mean much and always were forgotten in the morning.

Whatever they had, it wasn’t just physical. They shared everything, could talk for hours or enjoy the quite together. Jared had never felt so close to another human.

The problem was, he had never known how to approach Jensen about it. Didn’t know if he was reading the signs right or if it was just a close friendship.

And the way it looked now, he had misread the entire situation.

Because whatever it was they had between them, Jensen seemed to also share it with Misha.

For some time now, Jared had watched how Jensen and the goofy Misha had grown closer. Misha could bring out a side of Jensen that was rarely seen in the public. Could make him act silly and careless, make him throw his head back and laugh till he had tears in his eyes.

Where Jensen always seemed reserved with to much physical contact with Jared, especially the suggestive kind, he didn’t seem to have this problem with Misha.

Jared remember the little pangs of hurt he felt deep in his stomach while watching Jensen caress Misha’s face while walking by, or how both did lean in for what looked like kisses to the nape of the neck and how Misha had no reservation about being in Jensen’s space and Jensen would let him with a smile or a laugh, welcoming him there.

And now this. Jared sat in the back room of the Hilton Hotel in Rome at JIB Con watching the broadcast of Jensen’s panel. Watching how Misha crashed it and how the two men joked around and opened one of the boxes and started to act out part of the “Hitched” script. Watched as hey both leaned into a kiss, of which Jared knew it was fake but one that still looked way to real and his stomach twisted and he couldn’t help thinking ‘This sure looks like they have a lot of practice doing that’.

Jared had had enough and left the room and took the elevator to the two bedroom suit he was sharing with Jensen.

He felt angry at himself and the entire situation. How could he have misjudged what him and Jensen had so badly? They where just friends and whatever he thought he might have seen that meant there was more, he clearly was wrong. He was an idiot for allowing himself to fall for his best friend.

Finally in the hotel room, he went straight for the mini-bar and took out a bottle of Jack.

Half the bottle later Jared wasn’t really feeling any better. Lying back on the plush couch his thoughts were turning from angry to jealous to laughing about his own stupidity. From how his head was spinning he was sure he was at least a little bit drunk and took another swallow right from the bottle.

There was laughter outside the hotel room. He recognized Jensen and Misha. They said their goodbyes and then the door was opening and Jensen got inside.

“Jared?” Jensen’s voice sounded puzzled upon finding his best friend drinking on the couch. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

Jensen set down beside him. “Come on, Jared. It’s not like you to sit around alone and get wasted. What’s bothering you?”

Jared wanted to take another swallow instead of answering but Jensen stopped him and took the bottle out of his hand. “Talk to me, Jay,” Jensen said and put a comforting hand on Jared’s thigh.

The younger man didn’t want the closeness at the moment and stood up with a sight, taking a few steps away from the couch and Jensen. “I’m an idiot, that’s what’s up,” he finally said with his back turned to his friend.

He heard Jensen get up as well and seconds later there was a hand on his shoulder, squeezing. “Talk.”

Jared let his shoulders hang in resignation. It didn’t matter now anyway. “I like you, Jensen. Like really really like you.”

There was confusion in Jensen’s voice as he replied. “Well, that’s great, because I really really like you too.”

Jared finally turned around but was looking down, not wanting to meet Jensen’s eyes. “You don’t understand. I like you as in more then a friend. I like you as in ‘I wanna be your boyfriend’.” He bit his lip, then his tongue soothed over it. “Before you say anything, I know you don’t feel the same… and you’re probably with Misha anyway…”

“What?!”

“I’ve watched you two, Jensen. Maybe you’re not ready to admit it yet, but if you want him you should go for it. I’ll be okay.” Eventually anyway. But if Jensen was happy Jared was sure he would be happy for him.

For now Jared just wanted to spend some alone time in his room and was turning around to leave but was stopped by hands grabbing the fabric of his t-shirt.

Okay thank you for voting! 

And these will be pretty short

"Sam?" Dean eyed his little brother, gaze frozen on the spot where he'd seen Sam's arm jolt. 

Sam ducked his head down to avoid Dean's worried stare, "It's nothing, Dean I--" He protested as his brother glided over to him.

Dean's hands moved like clockwork, practiced at the art of taking care of Sammy. A smooth motion to lift the sleeve, revealing a deep purple lash stretched across Sam's shoulder. His callused hand traced the outline of the injury, searching for an end to the dark mark plaguing his brother's smooth skin. 

"How?" Dean's voice was flat, but his eyes surge with horror and guilt. I let Sammy down; "As long as I'm around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you"

Maddy...I...*sigh* ok. lol

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? Unfortunately 10/10 would not recommend.

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? yes? I've really wanted someone back before that I loved and they didn't feel the same so I guess you could consider that unrequited

33. Have you ever had sex with a man? yes

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? not yet

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? yeah

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? yes...didn't end well for me

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? yeah that tends to happen

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? yes? kinda? I think I didn't expect it with first impression but we ended up dating for awhile

thank you dear. I have never been a dress person, but this thing fits me like a glove.

4. last time I cried and why: I got a very nice text from one of the athletes I used to tutor and basically I'm a sucker for nice people

9. Tattoos I want: (I don't think you're ready for this jelly bc I have a to do list lol ) I will give you my top 5 because I could go on and on. I want a peacock feather quill on my side that's writing out "Invictus", a SPN-inspired half-sleeve with various things, WWSWD in Jared's handwriting on my other wrist, a scroll with the dome of St. Peter's Basilica on top of it on my other side with a poem I had written in Italian, and a watercolor butterfly with a semicolon body on my thigh

10. biggest turn ons: being able to carry on an interesting conversation filled with fun and interesting things. aesthetically: I like tall guys with light eyes and dark hair (cough-Jared-cough). I like girls with dark features (cough-Ellen Page-cough). My biggest turn on is just really feeling like the person gives a shit about me

jfc Maddy, you just barged in at 2 am to give me this great song? 10 points to (insert your HP house here)

totally not my type | dont really like it | it’s ok | pretty good | i started downloading it 2 seconds into it

I like the beat. The video is weird as hell though lol. My ankle hurts like a mother trucker...but I've had it propped up iced off and on for a little. It's a little swollen and bruised but hopefully it'll get better before Sat. thanks for asking :)

oh for the love of Sammy...you're going to hell. ugh...ok. I can do this.

fuck: Voldemort I guess 

marry: Fenrir...I don't mind the whole lycanthropy thing.