I love you, I’m sorry
Warning~Mentions of alcohol, fluff to angst, Fanum being down bad for reader, kissing turned into making out, cursing, and use of y/n
NOT PROOF READ🫣
Part one Series outfits (if you wanted to know)
I’d been doing better lately. Not great, but better. I stopped replaying the argument in my head and started sleeping through the night again. I learned how to exist without him in ways I never thought I’d have to. Or at least, that’s what I kept telling myself.
I almost didn’t come tonight. A pool party at the AMP house felt like tempting fate, but my friend insisted it would be harmless. They said enough time had passed. They were wrong—but I didn’t realize it yet.
My friend and I are walking through the party the smell of alcohol and sweaty bodies filling our nostrils, and saying hi to people we recognize.
My friend and I finally make out way through the crowd and into the backyard looking even more packed than I thought, My friend starts making herring way to the bar pulling my arm along with hers
“Hi can I get a shot of tequila with a sprite to chase” my friend says with a smile on her face and gets me thinking that she’s really trying to go there tonight
“And for you miss”the man says turning to my direction with a small smile
“Do you have strawberry buzz balls”I ask bring my hand up to my chin and leaning on the bar counter
“Yea will that be all”
My friend and I both nod in agreement
“Oh my goshhhh I’m so glad you agreed to come here with me”she says leaning into me
“Yeaa of course and I know how you like to turn up at parties so I had to make sure you’d be safe”I say smiling at her
“Here you guys go”the man says handing over each drinks to us
“Thank you have a good one”I say while me and my friend get out of the seats that were at the bar
As me and my friend walk around we are both trying to find somewhere to sit
After a while of looking we find a small empty pool spot so me and my friend sit down with our mid-calfs touching the water
“Bet you five bucks you’re about to bump into him before the night is over.” She says pulling her out of the intense stair she was having with the water also bringing a laugh to escape from her mouth
“Girlll I really hope I don’t” i say with a small smile tugging at my lips
“I hope y’all do it was small miscommunication I miss seeing you happy along with him” she says making eye contact with me
“Miscommunication can mess a lot of things up”i say rethinking old memories
“Oh one sec I see someone I know ima go over there if that’s ok with you?”she say steadying herself so she can get up
“Yea of course i have to use the bathroom and throw this buzz ball away anyway”I say getting up with her
Me and her both go in separate directions, before I know it I’m entering the amp house that was packed to the brim with the smell of alcohol and chlorine filling my longs
I quickly make my way down the hall so I can use the bathroom but that’s when I feel someone bump into me
“Oh shit my bad”I say steadying myself on the ground
“Oh nah that was my fault my bed”the mystery man said back at me
That’s when I finally look up and we both make eye contact
“Chris”
“Y/n”
We both say in sync
“How have you been”I hear Chris say as he pulls me into a hug
“I’ve been good what about you”I say returning the hug but quickly pulling away
“I’ve been good it’s been a while since I’ve seen you”he says staring at me
“Me as well but I have been seeing you all over my socials lately” i say giving him a small smile
“Yea, but I miss seeing you around the amp house”he says returning the smile
“Yea I would’ve loved to keep in contact but ever since the breakup it just felt best to keep my distance”
“Yea for sure I don’t wanna dig into things but what happened to you and fanum”he says a little concern in his eyes
I guess nobody really told him what happened I’m pretty sure none of amp knows the real reason on why we broke up
“Cause every time I ask he just tells me miscommunication”
“Yea that’s basically what happen but for a more in depth reason is he invited me to the amp house he was doing some shit he shouldn’t have been doing not cheating or anything but I bust through the door and argument erupted and words were exchanged he said I always blow everything up and I said sometimes I wish I never met him”I say nodding my head with an unreadable look on my face
Now don’t get me wrong I didn’t have a problem with telling Chris what happened Chris and I have been friends for years before Fanum and I was even a thing in fact he was the on that introduced me to Fanum
“Oh I’m sorry I-i didn’t know it was that bad”he says feeling guilty
“Oh nonono it’s fine I’ve healed from it and you also had no idea so don’t worry about it”I say in return so he can feel less guilty
“Well it was nice talking to you I hope to see you around again some day”he says slowly making his way around me with a smile
“Yea same for me”I say with a smile leaving into the bathroom
Little than enough time had went by and I forgot how bad I really had to use the bathroom so I go in there do what I need to do and make my way to the kitchen
Somehow the main areas of the amp house filled with more of the alcohol scent and it was getting me lightheaded so I quickly grabbed a water bottle and headed towards the balcony I know would be the least crowded even if it was I didn’t care I just had to stop breathing in those fumes
I slowly slide open the balcony door and see someone was up there
“Oh sorry I didn’t know someone was up here I just needed to get away from the strong alcoholic smell”
“It’s good”I hear a familiar voice say
That’s when the man turned to face me and I freeze
There he is the man I once’s loved looking beautiful as ever
“Hey”he says with shock in his eyes
“hi” i said with a shy voice
An uncomfortable silence formed between us as we just stared at each other
“You look great” he says finally breaking the silence
“Thank you, you do as well” trust me he really does chains blinging in their sun light that’s slowly going down , braids fresh and near, his faint cologne that I recognize it’s the one I bought him for Valentine’s Day, just him and general
And all of a sudden I just feel all of our memories come back the good, the bad, the funny, the romantic, just all of them
“How have you been”he asked snapping me out of my thoughts
“I’ve been ok what about you”I say answering his question
“Same for me ‘ok’” he say slightly rubbing the back of his neck
Silence slowly growing once again
It’s crazy that someone you once used to talk to everyday of every second can become a complete stranger-
“can’t stop thinking of that night and how much I fucked up” he says breaking the silence once again and also closing the space between us
“Yeah… I’ve been thinking about it too. Every damn day.”I say making eye contact with him
“Sometimes I wish I could go back and change what I let happen y’know, I wish I can take back everything I said that night,” he says looking at me
I just stare at his face for real this time I can feel myself starting to get teary eyed wishing that everything could go away and we could erase the pass and start again right here right now
“I love you, I’m sorry”he says stepping in close enough to wipe the two to three tears I let fall
“You was the best… but you were the worst, as sick as it sounds. You made me laugh, made me feel like I was everything… and then you tore me down without even realizing it.”
“I know I know and I would give anything to just start over with you, the moment you left was the moment I realized I truly fucked up and I could never erase that but I can try to make it up if you just give me a chance”he says stepping even closer officially breaking all the space
“I-I don’t know fanum”I say looking away from him
“Just trust me ma,I would never do no shit like that again” he said lightly pulling my face to meet his gaze
“Did you forget you told that bitch you was gonna call her back when you was done with me” I say adding in my mug
He sighs “after the whole argument and after you walked out i-i did call her but it was to tell her off and how she was wrong about you and then I blocked her”he says thumb rubbing up and down my face
I sit there like really sit there and think everyone deserves second chances and I still have a large amount of love in my heart for him I’ve healed from what happened but I’m not sure I sit there for a little longer with a couple more tears coming from my eyes
“You sat there and let that girl manipulate your mind you didn’t even hear me out or my sides of the story you enabled all of her bull shit and that wasn’t even your girlfriend but when it came to me you just brushed it under the rug and I’m scared it will happen again
“It won’t and a promise you that but you won’t be able to know that if you don’t trust me on this ma, I hurt you once and I won’t ever do that shit again give me a chance and I’ll show you” he says wiping another two to three tears falling from my eyes
“…I’ve spent so many nights thinking about everything—about us, about the way I let myself fall so hard, about all the times I wanted to scream but held it in. I hated that I still cared when I shouldn’t have, hated that I kept replaying your voice, your smile, the way you made me feel alive and safe… and yet terrified. I don’t know if I can forgive all the pain, all the doubt, all the times I felt small… but right here, right now… I’m willing to try. Now prove it.”
That was all he needed to hear before he pulled my face into a kiss his lips soft as I remembered my hand slowly moves up to his neck and his hands firmly grip my was the kiss was slow at first but sooner rather than later he becomes hungry like if I pull away I’d evaporate
I slowly break the kiss and he just stares at me
“What’s wrong”he says thinking he fucked up again
“Nothing”he leans in giving me another long but shorter than the last kiss until I break it again
“Oh shit I totally forgot I came here with my friend and told her I was going to the bathroom” I say shock covering my whole face
I break out from his firm grip and run towards the door leaving him there stunned and frozen in place
I quickly turn around to look at him
“You coming or what”I say with a smile
I see a smile stretch across his face as he quickly jogs over to me as we leave the balcony
A/n~ OKKK guysss I hope you liked this second part it would’ve been out last night if tumblr didn’t decide to have beef with me but it’s okk
