#chimomo

Not that he deserved her forgiveness. In trying to do what he’d thought was best for Tonks, he had hurt her. She would be well within her rights to throw him out onto the streets. 

The first place he checked was the living room. Completely pristine, it was easy to believe that Andromeda had once been the heiress of a pure-blood dynasty. There were no house-elves, green and silver decorations, or anything else that would suggest pure-blood supremacy here, but Andromeda was definitely a woman who liked order in her house. Everything was so organized here, if something was lost, it was because Andromeda had likely decided to change her system of organization. The place had only gotten cleaner since Ted had kissed his wife and daughter goodbye and fled into hiding from the Ministry. Ted had been quite messy and Andromeda had taken to stress-cleaning as a form of therapy whenever she got worked up about Ted’s safety. 

The kitchen was just as spotless, but again empty. Still he saw a clue that helped him in his search for Dora–the doormat to the backyard where Andromeda’s gardens were was wrinkled, as though someone had tripped over it before heading outside. That had to be Dora–Andromeda moved with a grace and sureness her daughter never would. Remus hurried for the door, not pausing to get himself a cup of coffee or to fix the mat before he headed outside. 

The garden was slowly being repaired from where Harry and Hagrid had crashed into it over the summer. The pond especially had a large hole that Remus knew was from Sirius’ bike. A few of Andromeda’s flowers still looked worse for wear after the crash and there were still a few craters here and there from all the magic, but overall, it looked much better than it had during the summer. 

Tonks was sitting on a bench in front of the gardens, likely put in by Ted years ago as a place for family meals outside or a quite place to read, think, or just admire the scenery. Remus could hear her sniffling even from where he was standing. He wanted desperately to go to her, to sweep her into his arms, and tell Tonks everything would be all right. 

But after what he had done, he doubted that was welcome. 

Instead he quietly walked over and sat down next to her. 

“You know, when something is troubling me,” Remus said. “I sometimes feel better after I’ve talked about it.” It was the gentle tone that he had used to use with his students--kind and non-threatening. He hoped that Tonks would open up to him. 

“I just--” Tonks wiped her eyes with the sleeves of her robes. “I thought you didn’t want me.”

And there it was. Those words hurt more than the Cruciatus Curse ever could. He really shouldn’t be surprised she felt this way, but a part of him couldn’t help but wish she could just understand. He had only wanted the best for her. And she could do a lot better than him. 

“I want you more than anything else in the world,” the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. They were hard to say and not in his nature to say to her--sentimentality would drive them further together and from the beginning, he’d known Tonks needed to stay away from him. But now, if their marriage was to survive, she needed the truth. “I want you more than anyone or anything in this world, but--” his voice broke. 

“Then why do you treat our relationship like we’re on one of my grandmum’s overly-dramatic romance shows on the telly?” Tonks demanded, so enraged she got to her feet. Remus did not bother to interrupt her rant. Let her let off some steam. “I want you, you want me. I’m not a hopeless civilian, Remus, I’m an Auror! You don’t have to protect me!” She crossed her arms. “I get it, you’re a man, you feel like you have to be chivalrous, especially since you’re a bloody Gryffindor. But have you ever considered...” Her expression softened and she put a hand on his shoulder. Her touch was light and gentle and he didn’t want it to end. “I think the world of you. You’re such a kind man, when the world has given you no reason to be. Have you ever considered I want to take care of you, make your life a bit easier? Happier?”

Remus stared at the hole in the pond Harry and Hagrid had made. It was easier than looking at her. Finally, he said, “I meant what I said yesterday. In my short time away, I realized where I was needed,” he looked at Tonks, “with you. I don’t know if you can forgive me but--what can I do to start fixing our relationship?”

Tonks wiped the tears off her face, sniffing. “You could give me a hug. I could use one right now.”