I haven't seen my crow in TWO WHOLE DAYS.
I KNOW some of you are sitting there thinking...
It was my deck therapist.
JUST when I was getting used to this feathered little weirdo showing up every morning...
The asshole just GHOSTED ME.
I was out there sharing my daily stories.
Complaining about adulthood.
Talking shit about the neighborhood squirrels.
I EVEN TOLD THE DAMN THING...
"When I get paid, I'll buy you some snacks."
I told it if it liked my little sun-prism crystals hanging on the deck it was welcome to steal one and decorate its nest.
I was READY to support its hobbies.
And what do I get in return?
This is EXACTLY why birds are assholes.
One minute they're sitting with you, Kash, and Goos during Coffee Time at Chez Miller...
Listening to your completely unhinged TED Talk about life...
Didn't even leave a feather.
Didn't say, "Hey Heather...I'm gonna go terrorize another neighborhood for a couple days."
So if anyone sees a judgmental crow wandering around York looking like it has heard entirely too much about my life...
Tell him his emotional support human is waiting on the deck with coffee...
...and we need to discuss this abandonment issue like adults.
(Well...like one adult and one crow. Let's not get carried away.)