#charredmeteorzz

the weird shit and intrusive thoughts and overthinking that goes on in my mind could genuinely be adapted into a tragedy where the main character is almost completely irredeemable and that sucks because i have the power and knowledge on how to do all of that. i could be an obnoxious bum regarding my personal theism and shove it down the throats of everyone who doesn't want to go to church for completely valid takes. shit i could just show everyone as i feed four years of refined and refined oc lore into chatgpt. im capable of many, many terrible things, and im capable of even daring to think about it. i don't want totdo them, at least, i hope i don't, but possessing such knowledge might say way more things about me than all the words i've said my whole life

with each fuckup that happens i genuinely start to think about killing myself and every day i start to treat those urges seriously. i fear the day it'll get to me and i'll learn how to cut myself and i fear even more the day i lose hope and end it. but i don't want to. but partially i want to. and i don't want to feel that way at all. i shouldn't think about hurting or killing myself ive still got a long way to go. i don't want to feel this way

im not important enough to be checked in on, huh?

i wish i could learn how to shut the fuck up for once

i post here more frequently than my main 😬😬😬 damn i gotta learn how to shut up

as much as i want one very particular friend to find this blog im kinda scared at the same time because there's so many stupid shit here which could genuinely creep them out