Spencer For two months, a spare bedroom at Judas’ had become home.  Spencer wouldn’t ever quite feel at home there, but she knew it was her own fault they were in the position to be there; a guilt that would never quite leave her.  Sitting in the middle of the bed, still in her uniform from work that day, a laptop and pad of paper in front of her, she was looking at houses to purchase online while scribbling figures of down payments on the pad of paper.  Frustration had her by the throat as it had occurred to her that morning they had five weeks to prepare for their son’s arrival, if not less depending on his eagerness to enter the world.  Scrappy nudged Spencer’s hand for her attention, which was easily split between the computer and the dog while a demanding baby within played a game of kickboxing with her ribcage.  Flipping the page of the notebook, she glanced down at another list she had running.  The top name on the list had immense marks scratched through it making the name impossible to read, but she knew what laid beneath it.  A name she had always hoped could be given to her first born son was now not an option.  The thought alone had her flipping back to the numbers on the page before as it was easier to work through even without funds in the bank to back any of it up.  A low whine from Scrappy as he jumped off the bed and Spencer knew easily what that meant.  John was back.  She shoved the notebook under the mattress as she brought the computer to her lap as though she’d been casually looking at homes instead of crunching numbers and working on baby names.  Keeping it casual for him as the pressure she felt didn’t have to go both ways.

John "What the fuck happened?" The penthouse door could barely close behind him before his brother’s voice was starting up. Knowing it would. The biker rolled his eyes. "What? You don't like it? Thought you might get one too?" Rubbing his hand over the rough scrape of his buzz cut, Judas nearly winced at the thought. That would be the day when Judas let a 2 clip hit those precious locks. "Fuck outta here, Mister Clean..." Johnny smirked. Pulling his leather cut from his back. Already too hot from the ride as he pulled the cut over his shoulder. It was a multi-million dollar penthouse. It should have been a dream, but it wasn't his. Making his way towards the guest wing of the place that had become their own, getting their own bathroom and even living room in the process. Judas had been more than hospitable but it still wasn't theirs. Walking into the bedroom, he located his wife laying there. "Evening, fertile turtle..." he hummed, tossing his cut to the edge of the bed before his shirt was lobbed off. Instantly going to the rooms independent heating unit to ice them out.

Spencer The whimper of the dog only grew louder as John’s voice grew closer.  A growing pup anxious to see his daddy, waiting to greet him at the door.  Though they had the space to spread out, Spencer still found herself locking herself in that room when John wasn’t there.  It wasn’t home.  She wasn’t comfortable.  She wanted what was theirs again.  As John entered the room, the dog was instantly transformed into a kangaroo, jumping upwards to get at John every step of the way.  Spencer shifted the laptop beside her, revealing the untucked shirt she despised so much.  Previously, she donned jeans and a t-shirt to work.  For the last two months, she’d been on desk duty.  A dreaded place that required a uniform, of which she hated more and more with each passing day.  Once John was there, she was able to disarm herself, easing the clip from her side, placing the firearm on the nightstand, something she would only allow herself to do when he was home.  “Evening, super sperm.”  She returned, pressing her hand against the bed to allow herself to stand up off the bed, moving a little slower these days.  Running her hand atop his head, the hairs tickling her palm, she smirked.  “I like it,” she offered, always liking it best right after he’d get it trimmed.  “Hope you’re feeling adventurous.  I found a problem this morning and I don’t much know any other way to rectify it…” she offered, biting at her lower lip as she recalled the struggle that took place in the shower that morning.  “I can’t quite reach…” she added, making quite the distressed facial expression as she indicated she’d attempted shaving and Mr. James within her had other plans for her always smooth legs.

John "I don't know how super it was..." he returned, reaching down to pet Scrappy who was quickly exceeding the name 'puppy.' Each day he grew a little taller and twice as wide. He no doubt was adding extra security alongside Spence. Between her piece on the sidetable and the dog, he could feel a little better as he went about his day. Watching her move herself and give her stamp of approval. "Yeah, fuck the long hair shit. Been there, done that. Too hot." He complained, not to mention he had shaved his head for the first time to mark a transition. Hearing her mention a problem, he cocked a brow before it was explained. Having to laugh. "First it's your legs...you know what goes next..."

Spencer “Maybe in the winter, just so I can see it long?”  She asked, eyes lifting as if it might be something of a turn on for her, especially when she wouldn’t feel as though she weighed 300 pounds.  Watching as he interacted with the dog, she crossed her arms over her chest, another region that had grown a bit in the process of things, looking up at him as if to ask where her kiss was.  Clearly having to wait her turn since she couldn’t quite do the kangaroo move Scrappy could.  “Well… if I’m being honest here… I lost sight of that some time ago.”  She mentioned, knowing well that it had been well cared for in the mean time, though she’d not confessed until now just how.  “Last month I couldn’t get there, so I had someone help with that.”  She spoke honestly, only hoping the man wouldn’t lose his shit on the matter.  “I can get help on the leg part too, but they don’t have an opening until next week, so it’s either you help me, or I slice myself to bits trying, or we don’t have sex for a week…”

John Distracted with the dog at his kneecap, wet kisses and a demand for attention. He knew she was awaiting something as she crossed her arms. Leaning in, he landed his kiss on her. Hearing her mention what she had gotten help on, he cocked a brow. Never having expected that one. "Well, I never had a full bush before. I know you'd love to be that first for me." He teased, sitting down on the bed where he cracking her a telling smile. "I can help if you'd like me to."

Spencer Watching as he took that seat, she could still feel that half kiss at her lips.  As he agreed to help her, she eyed him over his previous statement about a full bush, which she’d never be party to.  Just the sound of it had her feeling the need to shower and manage what she could in that region on her own.  She’d rather sport cuts than sport the alternative.  Offering him a smile as she approached him there on the bed, she wouldn’t dare sit on his thigh as she might have normally done, feeling as though she’d probably break him at this point, though her own mental image of herself was much different than what was really there.  “I think I’d like that.”  She nodded, reaching over for the laptop just behind him to show him what she had found since she had gotten home from work.  “It might take some work to get them move in ready, but maybe…?”  She asked, showing him the fixer uppers she had found.  The down payments would be lower than something finished out, but it would mean they would have to do a bit more hands on work before they could move in.  “If we work hard, maybe by the time the baby is here?...”  It was pushing it and she knew it, but on the next tab if he were to click over, he’d see the ones she was actually interested in, but the down payments alone could kill them.

John As he sat down, his hands were already reaching for her ankles. Positioning himself for the usual foot massage, seeking to reduce the swelling as he laid on his side. Looking over the computer screen at what she had been occupying herself with. "We should just get one for sherrif's sale and work on it..." the man stated, having his fair share of technical knowledge. Unable to write a text without a spelling error but he was good with his hands. Wood working, carpentry. Hell, he had done dry wall out of high school and played his hand at some electrician work. Eyeing the pictures and the prices that came with them. "Now I remember why we were squatters growin' up. You got to be fuckin' crazy to agree to a number with three digits in it before the comma." He remarked, maybe one of the only thing his mother had done that he agreed with.

Spencer As he started in on what they should opt for, she felt her heart sink a little.  He had only seen the first batch.  The needs work batch.  Not the ones that truly had her attention.  She’d even played with the idea of asking her former partner for a loan, knowing he could handle a down payment.  Or the engagement ring she still had in storage from Chris Wilson.  Surely that would bring in a good amount towards a down payment.  Since coming off homicide, her takes were small and not so often anymore, leaving her to rely on true earnings, finding that making an honest living was pure hell when looking to buy a home.  Her credit was good, stellar, so even that was an option if they could get a seller to roll the down payment into the mortgage.  But John was right.  Reaching forward to click the second tab closed, not wanting him to see what she actually wanted now that he had told her what would be best.  Maybe it would be best.  And maybe it would all work out okay in the end.  Maybe it would be better than the others that were ready to move in with vaulted ceilings.  She slipped her hand over, nudging his out of the way so she could close that other tab without him much noticing as she brought her lips against his.  Partially a ploy for distraction and partially to grant herself that kiss she had wanted before instead of the ‘in passing’ kiss he had given her.  

John Feeling her nudge, his eyes were already on that second tab and had been. Prepared for the showing bringing his eyes to meet her. Pressing his lips back to hers yet his hand didn't budge. Not catching on as she wanted to show him something and he was there to be shown, not directly suggesting that he could learn how to give her the things she wanted in this house at half the expense. She already saw the few pieces in his apartment of what he was capable of. He could have been a carpenter in his own right if life had led him down the right path.

Spencer As his hand didn’t budge, yet he met her kiss, she knew she was not as sly as she liked to think she was.  Pulling back from the kiss, she leaned back against the bed completely, removing her hand from where she’d made an attempt at that trackpad to close the tab.  “That second page would need less work… we could move in right away if we could figure out the financial side of things…” she confessed, leaning over to draw her notebook from between the mattress and box springs, her only thought on that first page with the numbers scribbled on it, not the second page with prospective baby names jotted beyond the one severely scribbled through.  Placing the notebook beside the computer, she allowed him to see her scribblings.  Notes in the margins about potential lenders she might be approved through for down payment money.  Potential takes that she might be able to collect on with a threat or two.  Kenneth Ryan’s name as a potential contact she could tap for some assistance, even though she was quick to think John would draw his own line through that one.  “But if you saw something on the first tab you’d like to take on…”  she offered, a bite to her lower lip as she wasn’t sure there was time for all of it.  Five weeks just wasn’t long and they had yet to buy a single thing for the baby who was quickly approaching.

John Eyes scanning over the page, attempting to make sense of it all. Words weren't his thing, yet even he could see the name of her partner on the end of the page. Whatever involved him, he didn't want. "So you want to do this like...legit." he asked, his own way of saying legally, as surely he could make quick cash within the club asking if Blade had any lose ends he needed tied up. He always did. Hell, someone always did. There was always a place in the city ready to put up big dollars even if there wasn't necessarily a threat as they had been made to understand. Eyes lifting up to hers at his inquisition before back to the page. Clicking over where the price ranges hit him in the face. What was the point? These were someone else's houses. Built by foreign hands. "You know, we might have to sell this kid to afford shit like this..."

Spencer “We don’t have to sell the kid.  We just have to get in the house.  Then I’ll be back at work soon after and things will be better,” she reminded him.  On desk duty, she didn’t have the luxury of the take anymore whilst on desk duty, but once she was back in her jeans and boots, the money would roll in once more.  She wasn’t above doing it illegally, but her credit was good, and with her job she was sure there were allowances given with the detective title on an application.  She knew two things for sure.  This baby was coming and they were still pursuing custody of River.  It was time to start making something happen, or they’d be raising a family in Judas’ place, which she still wasn’t comfortable within.  Sitting up from where she had been laying back, she rose from the bed, finally unbuttoning the button down uniform shirt she despised, dropping it there at the end of the bed.  “It can wait until tomorrow,” she offered, as their status or situation wasn’t changing any in the next twenty-four hours that she knew of.  Slipping the pants down that now had no button on them, she laid them to the end of the bed as well to go with dry cleaning for next week’s shifts.  Heading towards the bathroom, she paused a minute, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead as a whisper found her lips.  “Don’t stress about it,” she offered, knowing she was doing enough of that for the both of them as she slipped into the bathroom to start a bath, giving no thought to that which he had right in front of him with that notebook on the following page.  “How was your day?”  She asked from within the bathroom as she waited for the water to warm up.

John Watching her stand up, not stressing about it at all. Just trying to understand where they stood as she walked to the bathroom. Closing the laptop head as he didn't get why it was brought up just to side step it, hearing her question. He shrugged. Leaning back into the headboard where his eyes wandered to one of the walls. "Alright, I guess...you?" He asked, collecting the notebook and her laptop which he set to the sidetable allowing him to stretch out in her absence.

Spencer “Hell,” she returned almost too quickly.  She hated desk duty.  Hated it.  Lucky for John, she didn’t resent him for pushing the issue on it, as she knew it was best for their child, but she still hated it.  “How many times do I have to answer the same phone call, tell them I’m going to transfer them, for them to hang up and call back like they are suddenly going to have the right person on the end of the phone?”  She knew the answer to her own question.  It was in fact six.  Running her hand under the water, the temperature was finally right, even if the doctor’s had instructed her no more hot baths, only luke warm.  She’d run it a little higher anyways.  Stopping the drain, she turned around, finally removing her undergarments as she stepped over the side of the tub.  One hand coming to the soap dish, the other to the edge of the tub to lower herself down carefully.  In truth, it wouldn’t be long before even this would require a helping hand, but for now she was able to ease into the tub without too much trouble, making herself comfortable at least until she’d have to sit up to turn the water off.  “I have loved carrying your child, John, but I cannot wait until this is over.”

John "Atleast they aren't strippers." He reminded her, hearing her complaints yet knowing they were valid as she continued now that the water was off. He shook his head. "You don't gotta lie to me, Spence. Pregnancy sucks." He remarked as his eyes wandered to the notebook at the side of the desk. Eyes narrowing as he managed the list title. Wondering what the big mystery was. Like she didn't want him to know she was pregnant and that they needed a name or things for this baby. He let it be. She'd talk to him in her own time as he tried this patience thing out for a whirl and attempted to respect her privacy.

Spencer He had her on that point.  They weren’t strippers.  Just the word alone was enough to shoot jealousy through her veins all over again.  John was working with these women.  He always had, but back when this all began, she didn’t look like… this.  She felt about as far away from sexy as a woman could feel, and yet he had women surrounding him constantly that certainly could get him going in ways she could no longer pull off.  Once the water was off, she leaned back, closing her eyes as she heard silence in the bedroom.  Figuring already he had laid down, she wasn’t going to disturb him further.  A few moments would pass by before she’d sit upwards, reaching for her razor and shaving gel to give it a go herself once more.  Spraying the gel into her hand, she propped her ankle on the edge of the tub to assist her reach, lathering her leg as best she could.  A strong kick from within would tell her baby James was having none of that pressure she was applying, prompting her to lean back in the tub, her soaped hand coming against her stomach to urge the baby to cooperate with her.  When it was clear that wasn’t going to happen, she’d have no choice but to admit defeat, which was not a defining characteristic of Spencer James.  “John?”  She asked, her tone altogether different.  That tone meant she was at a loss.  That she couldn’t do something herself.  That tone meant she needed him not to answer, but that she actually needed him.  A tone she hated the very sound of as it came from her lips.

John Hearing nothing in response, he figured that to be the end of it. Humming low to himself in a "now what?" Instance. Tempted to turn on the TV which he ultimately did. Flipping on Sports Center before he heard his name. Not even having to respond as he stood up and made his way to the bathroom. "Got a hot date?" He asked figuratively, approaching the side of the tub, hand reached out for the razor.

Spencer As he entered the bathroom, her very on knight in shining armor, her face depicted how much she hated asking for help, hence the reason she had sought other forms of treatment for the other region that needed attention regularly.  As he lifted the razor, her pout was on display.  “If I had a hot date, I think he’d be rather disappointed,” she spoke honestly, remaining leaned back in the tub, unable to keep herself from thinking this was a far cry from where they were those first months of their marriage, having to wonder if he was let down at all by it all.  

John "What's to be disappointed about? A hot girl you can't get any /more/ pregnant, shit...sign me up." Knowing the woman was feeling a bit more off than usual, he didn't like the sounds of it. He took those insults personally. She has his, after all. Looking at her with the razor in hand. "Alright, what do you think is the best way to do this? You wanna lean back and put your leg over my lap or..." eyeing her for her comfort, he forced a brow.

Spencer With a bite to her lower lip, she found his tone there indicating to her he didn’t like what she had said one bit.  She drew in a breath as he posed his question to her, almost drawing a laugh from the woman.  She didn’t know how to do it any more than he did to be honest.  “Well… I…” she offered, trying to think this through.  She could leave her leg on the edge of the tub as it was if he could get a safe angle.  Then, she knew.  If only she could help with the process to get it there.  “How about you make this a hot date and strip,” she offered, a lift of her brows as she suggested he join her in the tub.  He could sit across from her and she could rest her foot against his chest.  The angle would be right and they could be together, if he felt comfortable with it, that was.  “If you did a little stripper dance, it might make me feel better,” she teased, trying to make light of it as she reached over, stealing the razor from his hand as she urged for a little entertainment in the bathtub since she wasn’t able to offer much these days.

John Watching her steal the razor, he decided to play her at her own game. "I can't just strip? I used to be good enough for you once, Spence..." his dry tone suggested sarcasm as he stood up, reaching for the button of his jeans as he let them drop. Reaching for his boxers where he guided them down to his ankles. No music or dancing needed. "That's all you get."

Spencer Instantly he had taken a rather down on herself wife and turned her into a woman who was genuinely happy.  Her laughter took over as she heard his statement, to which she couldn’t respond to before his clothing was coming off, in his very own stripping style.  “Ya know, for a guy that works with strippers…” she suggested, the one and only time in their marriage she’d refer to his job as something that could have been brought home to her.  Lifting her hand out towards him, she flashed him a full smile; one she hadn’t worn in a while.  “C’mere,” she urged as her hand was outstretched towards him, finding herself potentially more in love with him in that moment than she had been to begin with.  The mere fact he would entertain her spoke volumes to the woman, let alone the fact he was still coming home to her every night when she was looking the way she was.  It said something.  Something Brock Reese would never believe.  

John "I'm not a stripper. I just clean up the glitter and make sure no one trips." He reminded her warmly, he had never been that type. She knew who he was at this point. No flash or thrills. Just Johnny James. Watching her hand seek out his, he took it with ease where he gave her a gentle squeeze. Waiting for her to curl her legs up to give him the necessary footing. Stepping within the tub. The alignment of her sitting and him standing making it ever clear that the two were quite comfortable with one another at this juncture.

Spencer As he stepped within the tub, she kept his hand as though he needed her help at all.  She knew he didn’t, but it made this whole needing help thing not feel so bad, of course John was making quick remedy of that all on his own.  Crossing her legs Indian style in front of herself, she gave him the room to lower, although her eyes were most certainly where they didn’t belong.  Or maybe they did.  But she couldn’t help herself.  She’d make no secret of it as she slowly brought her eyes back upwards to his as he was now given the room to ease down in front of her.  “Good thing this tub is bigger than ours was.  I don’t know that we could’ve made this work at home,” she reasoned, still finding the old apartment to feel more like home than this did, though she was still making the best of it.  “When we do find a house, we need tubs like these,” she added, bringing the conversation back to that which she had abandoned before.  “Tubs so big we can sit side by side,” she exaggerated as it wasn’t so in this one, but making her point just the same.  A slow smile finding her face as she realized this stood as the first time she’d ever seen the man in a tub instead of using a shower, not taking it lightly as she knew he was in there for her.  “You’re a good man, John James of South Philly,” she whispered, an honest smile there at her lips as he truly had made every bit of the best husband she could have imagined.  Thinking back to the day they wed and how unhappy she was with that which they had to do, things had truly come full circle for the two in the last eleven months.

John Using his free hand to shield his boy bits as if she had not seen them before. He lowered himself to the opposite side of the tub. "Thank god." He sighed as she mentioned the size of the tub. "You should see the one in his master bedroom...it's like 7 feet long." The man remarked, having seen it himself, hearing her whisper as he shook his head at her. "You don't know that...I could nick the shit out of you with this razor."

Spencer “That is deprivation,” she argued at his attempt to cover himself, which she wouldn’t be pointing out to him the fact that his hand wasn’t doing the trick.  She’d let him think he was up to something, but in fact, it might’ve been the cutest thing she’d seen from him in quite some time.  Enough so that it kept that smile on her face just that much longer.  “I promise you that you will do no worse than what I attempted to do to myself this morning before work…” she offered, lifting her right leg to his lap, her ankle and knee looking as though they’d been attacked by a weed whacker.  “It didn’t work right,” she confessed, bringing her foot to rest against his chest, trying to keep the pressure against him light, swollen ankles and all.  “This work for you…?”  She asked, needing to be sure he was comfortable or at least as comfortable as he could be.  Proving to him in that moment just how much she trusted the man to hand him a blade to use against her skin.  Truly it was this, or she’d find a way to bathe in hair remover because no sex for a week simply wasn’t an option.  

John Watching her foot press to his chest, he nodded at her question. Reaching for the razor as his hand reached up to support her ankle for  the meantime. "Would it strike you as surprising if I've never done this?" He asked, positioning the razors head to just above where his fingers sat, opting to go from the base of her ankle to her knee in short yet gentle skids of the razor over the shaving cream.

Spencer “Would it strike you as surprising if I told you I’d never let anyone do this?”  She asked, returning his question to him as the two discovered there was a first to be had.  There hadn’t been many of them in their marriage, to be honest, so when one arose, she treasured it perhaps more than one should.  It became theirs, as this was becoming in that very moment.  That is to say he’d ever want to do it again when she wasn’t pregnant.  As he brought the razor to her skin, she remained silent.  Not out of fear, but out of allowing the man to focus there, knowing how he felt about her being hurt and only able to imagine how he would feel should he inflict a mark in a non-sexual manner against her.  “You’re doing fine,” she assured as he lifted the razor to begin a new stroke.  Giving him a minute to adjust to it before she’d ease back in the tub again, closing her eyes as she attempted to show him just how much she trusted him.  The baby within her settling down now that she had rid the pressure at her abdomen he seemed to hate so much.  “I think your son is claustrophobic,” she offered, a smile at her lips as her eyes remained closed.  “He doesn’t like it when I lean over him.  Not a bit.  It’s like it instantly turns into a game of beat up Spence until she moves.”  She teased, not quite ready to call herself mom in that sentence, though she thought of it for a moment.  “Speaking of your son…” she offered, drawing in a breath before she’d let the rest out.  “You think maybe we start finding a name for him instead of just calling him ‘him’ or your son…?”  In truth, it had been on her mind since the day they found out they were having a boy, but the timing was all wrong.  It was only recently her head started to level out from the murder committed the same day to where she could truly think of such things, hence the sudden rush on baby items, houses, and names.

John Watching in concentration as he got closer to her shin, his vertical action turned horizontal. Gentle over the bone as he kept his eyes to her skin. Dabbing the shaving cream in the water as it collected. "He's running out of space." He reminded her, not that she couldn't accomplish this in her own right as she lived it. Hearing her mention baby names, his eyes briefly flashed upwards. "About fuckin' time. Was startin' to call him James James in my head." He remarked, out of lack of creativity before his eyes were back down and conquering the territory of her shin.

Spencer “You could’ve brought it up anytime you thought of it!”  She returned, her eyes flashing open as he had given her a hard time, suddenly unaware of the blade in his hand that she may have just startled.  She’d be lying if she hadn’t thought of James James in a comical moment of her mind as she had.  “I started a list,” she confessed, but wanted to hear his input before she started spouting off anything she had come up with.  Always having thought she’d give her son her father’s name had been a killer for her when they found out the baby was a boy, hence the dark scratches over the name “Brock” in her notebook on the bed.  

John "Let's hear it." He added as she mentioned her list, not having read it so there was still the element of surprise. Not to mention to see if she'd stick to any naming schemes. Double J's or even R and J like River. His attention was back to the blade, gently pushing her knee cap up to tighten the skin there and allow him to smoothly work over her with an edge of concentration.

Spencer Hearing him turn it around on her, not wanting to offer his own thoughts on it, she offered him a pouted lip.  She wanted his input as it was his son.  But if he would insist she go first, she’d give him that much.  “Well… I always thought I’d give the first or middle name of my father, but that’s not happening,” she confessed, knowing John would see where the problem lied in that.  “But I thought Reese, maybe.  Like my mom gave me Spencer from her maiden name.”  She explained, giving that bit of history to him in case he had never known where her name had originated in the first place.  “River is River John, so I thought maybe we go with Reese as a middle name and put a Jaxon or Jagger, or Julian with it.”  Offering a shrug of her shoulders, she glanced towards him as he brought the razor for another pass, noticing just how careful he was being having to smile at his careful demeanor around her knee.  “What have you got?...” she asked, truly interested and hating that she had to go first there, but yet another moment to prove she knew when to try him and when to bend to him.  This would be one of those times she’d bend to him without a second of argument.

John "Name a kid after someone who wants their old man on ice...sounds like some shit for a therapy couch." He pointed out, hearing her mention her own maiden name. Understanding how that could have worked for her. "I like your maiden name...it could have worked but...it's still your father's name. Your dad is going to resent this kid for coming from me. Much less having his name and being mine." He reminded her, not trying to be so hard about it but coming from a man who had been resented for being born, he has to consider these things. Kissing a patch of her shaved ankle as his head turned. "Rockston, Rylan...Reginald..." keeping with the king and queen theme, a name fit for a prince. "Hard to believe Judas has been preparing for this shit for like 5 minutes and already has a first name picked out for his potential boy."

Spencer Hearing his explanation as to why her name wouldn’t work, she just nodded her head.  She had crossed Brock off the list for that very reason, but she didn’t feel as though Reese belonged to her father.  She had felt as though it was hers.  But she wouldn’t say a word on the matter, just a nod of her head as she let her eyes fall closed again.  Running through the names he offered in her mind, pairing them with his last name.  “No Reginald,” she offered, not liking the sound of it at all, though the other two might grow on her in time.  In time once she swallowed that the child would have no part of her except the DNA, yet she should have known better.  Lowering her leg from his chest, leaving one finished and one yet to be touched, she eased up in the tub, slipping forward as her legs formed to either side of him.  Her belly separating the two in the tub as she leaned over to rest her head against his chest.  Emotional swings he would be accustomed to by this point, and yet she still wasn’t.  Not letting a tear fall, though just wanting to feel close to the man, even if the task of shaving her legs wasn’t complete, nor was the idea of naming the child.  

John "Reginald is awesome...Reg." he stated as she moved her leg, watching her as she leaned into his chest as he cleaned off the blade in the water. "what about ‘Rhys'? Like R-H-Y-S?" He asked, explaining for clarity sake so it was hers yet not her father's all at once. Pressing his lips to the side of her temple.

Spencer “Yeah,” she whispered, the sound of that pending emotion on her voice as it cracked beneath the short word.  Keeping her head at his chest, she didn’t want to dismiss it for lack of spelling, knowing John was giving a lot in that just to suggest it.  The issues with her parents had been silent for some time now, and although she was comfortable with the choices she had made, there would always be those little reminders that she didn’t get to keep those parts of who she was anymore because she chose John.  John’s family held issue with her.  Her own family held issue with her.  She truthfully had only him and this baby and she knew it.  She had isolated herself by falling in love with someone, believing in them, and committing herself to him fully.  None of which were convictable crimes, and yet that was how it felt at times.  She didn’t move there from his chest, needing a moment to gather her thoughts, if not for herself but for John who was still trying here.  “I think I’d like that,” she offered finally, though her voice was still unable to sustain consistency throughout the short phrase as she drew a breath to try to find center again.

John Feeling her energy change, he had never intended to force this on her. The pregnancy. The marriage. Her parents had good reason for not liking him, especially in comparison of what her ideal match should have been. But to directly tie this child in with her family would be a mistake. They'd never accept him as their own. It was a bit of protection while he was still unborn. "This kid is half yours...more than half. You can come up with something that represents you but it doesn't have to be about them, Spence. They aren't going to accept him as long as he is mine."

Spencer “I know,” she managed, knowing she had done this to herself.  John didn’t do this.  She did this.  She could have stuck it out in the marriage long enough to ensure neither of them were facing charges and gotten out.  But she was the one that went and fell in love with the man.  She was the one that turned her back on her family.  She didn’t put any of this on John, but entirely on herself.  And then there was the part of it that she believed her parents should trust her enough to know who she belonged with and there was not a doubt in the woman’s mind that she was meant to be Spencer James.  He might not have come from the lineage they might’ve preferred, but they had their choices when they were younger.  John was hers and she would always feel that choice should have been respected.  “No Rhys then,” she offered, resigning to the fact that it was still too close.  Her father’s ways had effectively screwed him out of the dream she had held since she was a teenager of passing down one portion or another of her name or his to her first child.  She wasn’t even optimistic enough to say maybe for another child.  Time wasn’t going to heal this as she knew what she had left and ironically enough, it all fit in a tub.  Drawing back, she brought her damp hand against her face to attempt to wipe away that bit of emotion that had leaked from her eyes, instead simply turning both cheeks wet from her hand.  It worked, as it masked anything left to fall as being just water on her cheeks.  “I’m sorry,” she offered as she started to move back to where she had been, allowing the man to continue the mission here if for no other reason but the fact that this was supposed to be a sweet gesture, not an emotional breakdown.  She’d push through it for him, although if left to her own devices for any amount of time, the breakdown might simply be on pause.

John "Stop apologizing." He seemed to demand as she pulled back, they were going to be having a kid soon. There could be tears now, god knows there would be plenty to come. This was just the beginning of a long and treacherous emotional journey that neither of them could anticipate. "What if we incorporate your hometown into his name?" He asked as he watched her slide back against the tub.

Spencer It was clear to the woman that he was trying, bless his heart.  She couldn’t find a way to explain to him what it had meant to her or how her heart had been set upon it for years upon years, long before she knew how to properly order a slice of pizza in Philly.  Finding her place against the wall of the tub again, she leaned back as she brought her hands to her face, bringing water over her forehead to chin.  “Irving, Las Colinas, McKinney, White Rock Lake.”  None of the names would work, but she gave them to him anyways.  Shrugging her shoulders, she finally allowed herself to look back towards him at the other end of the tub.  “John, I love you.  I love that you are trying, but it doesn’t have to be there.  So, what did we have… Rockston and Rylan?...” she drew in a deep breath, attempting to get back to somewhere productive, though the other was simply being shifted just below the surface.  “Did you like Julian or Jagger?  Jaxon?... any of them?”  She asked, not truly holding any attachment to any of them for emotional value, but knowing there had been one she was keen on over the others.  “No more Reese or Rhys or me.”  She offered, swallowing hard after her resignation from that portion of their conversation.  She had one thing to give and she understood why John couldn’t let her bring it.  Aside from that, they could choose a name with no emotional value and base it purely on their likes and dislikes.  Bringing her hand against his thigh, her hues set to his as she offered a faint smile and a nod of her head.  “It’s okay.”

John "Just...Dallas." he remarked as she went into more specifics when he had been exceptionally broad about this all. Listening to her other suggestions. "Julian reminds me of this local food joint...and Judas' kid if it's a boy will be 'Jackston.' One thing to be close but that's a little too close. Jagger ain't bad though. Feel like we'd have to be Stones fans to work that one out." He teased, only knowing that when they heard it, they'd know. Hearing her, he shook his head. He didn't want a name without meaning. It was useless if it just sounded cool. "Or you?" He asked, not quite sure he understood. "I'm not doing this by myself, Spence."

Spencer Drawing in a deep breath as he held elimination on Jaxon, her eyes found the ceiling as deflation washed over the woman.  Drawing her lower lip between her teeth, biting against it to withhold herself from breaking entirely.  “I’m not asking you to do it yourself.  I’d never ask you to do it yourself.  It’s just…”  she attempted to get it out, but instead all that would happen was the release of the tears she had been attempting to hold in.  Reese was gone.  Jaxon was gone.  They had a baby arriving in five weeks or thereabouts with no name and the names she had been the most drawn to were pulled off the board for reasons beyond her control.  The pressure of finding a house they could afford was hard enough to bear, but now with the names becoming a mess to her as well, she was beyond salvation at the moment.  “He can’t just be baby James or James James or ‘him’.  And nothing is working!”  Every word broke under the pressure of her emotion.  Squeezing her eyes closed tightly as though it would stop the onslaught of tears, though it would not, she brought her hands up over her face.  She was quite literally shutting down right before his eyes.  A list she had slaved over, now amounting to other people’s names.  

John Watching her go through the motions for no real reason, watching her shut down over the course of a few names. "River didn't have a name for two days..." he stated idly, they still had time. "If you want to be less picky about names then we can do that. Guess I just think names are more important than what just sounds good." He stressed, thumbs wiping away the tears leaking the perimeter of her hands.

Spencer As he suggested they be less picky about the names, she literally saw red behind her hands.  Feeling his thumbs to her face, she withdrew her hands, not hiding her emotion since her hands hadn’t much done that anyways.  “I think they are important too, John.  That’s why I started a list.  That’s why I’ve been trying out every variation of them.  But I didn’t much know that the two at the top of the list were going to be axed because they belong to someone else.”  The tears now flowed freely from her eyes as she no longer hid how devastated she was over both names being erased for reasons beyond her control.  She didn’t expect him to understand her.  She didn’t know how to put it in to words how hard she had worked on those names before opening up to him with it, now regretting ever having breathed a word of a house or a baby name at all.  “And what I meant by no me was just this.  No my name.  No my list.  No me.  I’m shot down, John.  I’m admitting defeat.”  Lowering her head, she completely gave in to the emotion, making no attempt to pull it back in.  Even if she had tried, there was no way she could.  Truly devastated as she had this whole idea of how sweet it would be for the two to name their child together, sharing ideas.  John could give a piece.  She could give a piece.  But all she was feeling was put off.

John "I just said one sounds similiar to Jackston..." he pointed out, knowing logic may not work in his favor here as it was clear the woman just needed some space as he was trying but it apparently was not good enough. Granted, he'd never let such things show as he knew she was just upset and hormonal. "You can't admit defeat. This isn't something you can opt out of..." he reminded her subtly before he glanced down into the water. Ready to give her that space. "Now let me get that other leg so I can finish up." He remarked, already able to feel her temper nearly heating the water. He had tried and gave his hand, hearing out her own. Axing maybe one just as she had one of his without any hurt feelings. He was literally just willing to do what would make her happy here yet not even she knew that.

Spencer Hearing him out, she knew the man was trying.  Deep inside, she knew and she had told him that she loved him for it.  She realized every bit that he was trying here for her, but she didn’t feel that he had any grasp on how she was feeling.  First her own name, then the name she loved from the list of names sticking to the R and J pattern established.  She was trying to honor those parts of him and couldn’t even manage to do that right.  In her mind, she’d been exiled by her family, then exiled by most of his, facing adversity through their relationship and trying to go with every punch that came, but now as it came down to their child’s name, it was almost more than the woman could take.  Her tears were unceasing, but she did as he asked, bringing her foot up to his chest once more.  Something that had taken a great deal for her to ask, then to spark something that could have been highly intimate, destroyed probably at her own hand for liking the wrong names for a child she was allegedly just as much a part of as he was.  Her emotional state was not stable in that moment as the pregnancy hormones took her completely, but at least John was able to find a center to focus on the task at hand.  Silence befell her as she couldn’t manage any words for several moments after she brought her foot to his chest, breaking down in front of him a whole three and a half feet away.  This standing as the first time she had truly broken down that she couldn’t just be pulled into his arms based on sheer mechanics of their positioning; also her fault.  Even John’s own name couldn’t be used as it was a piece of River’s.  She needed something here, something that would make her feel that she was more than just an incubator, but she couldn’t see it.  

John As she slipped her chest up, the man would honor any name choice she selected in fullness. She wasn't working with him though. Helping to guide her leg up, he reached for the shaving cream. Administering it in a thick covering before he went to work the same way he had. Full of concentration as he listened to her. Eyes flashing up briefly. Finally speaking. The gruff tone of his voice only seeming more so. "If you could put any name on that birth certificate, full name. First, middle. What would it be? What would be your final choice out of everything? No rules, no taken names. What would you choose like those two other names never existed to anyone else."

Spencer “John…” she whispered quietly.  He had found the right thing to say to her that would literally bring her around to pure and simple logic.  She couldn’t name her child after a man that hated John, even if she saw it as her name and her contribution.  It didn’t matter that she wanted to name her first child that for most all of her life.  It didn’t matter at all.  She couldn’t bear the thought of them taking a name so close to a name already stated as Judas’ child’s name either.  John’s name wasn’t an option as she’d never want to take that entitlement from River, who they planned to make a part of their family officially as soon as possible.  But it would be in his words that she would find some form of comfort that he did want to do what she wanted there.  That he would potentially honor anything she wished for in that moment.  But she knew she couldn’t do it.  Her own name, it had been ruined.  Jaxon… she had just been too late to start formulating names she loved.  In truth, she’d been too late for John’s own name as well.  Though her leg was already lathered, up against his chest, supported by his hand, she drew it down into the water, undoing that which John had already done.  Reaching forward, she wrapped her hand around the soap dish, her other hand coming to the edge of the tub, using the two to lift herself upwards, finding her knees beneath her.  She couldn’t take being so far away from him anymore.  Now that the tears had almost subsided, only a few falling in the process, she moved towards him, her knees carefully tucked between his thighs as to not hurt him in the process.  Bringing her hands to his face, her own nose inches from his, meeting his eyes through the curtain of tears in her own.  “If I could put any name on that birth certificate in the world, it would be the name you and I come up with together.  Something we can both hear and instantly think, that’s our son.  Not the name that I wanted or you wanted.  What we want.  And I understand why those are off.  I do.  And I’m sorry I got upset.  I just… I want it to be perfect.  Some kids grow up thinking they have the worst name ever.  Like their parents just drew it from some popularity list for that year.  But I never felt that way.  And I never want him to feel that way.  I don’t want what I want.  I want what we want.”  She offered, her thumbs gently stroking at his cheeks as she attempted to meet him halfway as he was clearly doing more than that for her in that moment.  She had to put down the names she liked, as it wasn’t about her.  “I just met you too late,” she offered as her reasons for why the list of names was eliminated.  Reese, Jaxon, and John for that matter.  She was just too late.

John Hearing his name, well, at least what he thought was used for his name, his eyes shifted. Assuring she was calling upon him and not suggesting it as a name. Watching her draw down her leg before she lifted up. He watched her slip before him. Negotiating carefully as he met her eyes. Thumb sweeping a few fallen tears. "Not too late, things just take a little tweaking sometimes...but we'll know it when we hear it. So if you don't think we are there yet, let's do our homework and come back to this conversation except I want you to find the R and I'll do the J." He decided, the first name being all together more important, after all. Still hoping she'd consider "Rhys" for it.

Spencer The two of them finding a middle ground on the matter without either of them getting out of the tub or walking away from the other, though she was at a severe disadvantage when it came to getting up in any hurry at all from the floor of the tub, she couldn’t be disappointed any longer.  Feeling his own thumb against her face, she leaned her head into his palm, her eyes there at his as she nodded her head in agreement to that which he offered.  “I have literally never been more in love with you than I am in this moment,” she whispered, quite a far cry from how exiled she was feeling a moment before, but the swing of pregnancy hormones could go both high and low.  In the moment, this high was crafted by the man who credited himself not nearly enough in such matters.

John Feeling her leaning within his hand, he met her eyes upon her confession. Knowing she was only a moment away from tears at any given time, he decided to take the lighter approach. “Well, yeah…I’d hope so. You don’t think I’d shave just anyone’s legs, do you?” he asked, knowing that she knew, perhaps not in detail, that he was not a man such as this. To pamper and wait upon a woman. Hell, to even call back. It looked as if they were both making leaps and bounds from their former selves. Whether it be progress or the opposite, neither would know for sure.

Spencer In nearly a year’s time, neither of them were the same as they came into this relationship.  A relationship that was supposedly a sham, meant to keep their asses out of prison, and yet Spencer had found herself in the deepest kind of love that existed.  A kind where her own well-being was not of her concern.  Literally willing to take a bullet to the head for the man any given day of the week.  Her complete focus was him and him alone.  It wasn’t the Spencer anyone knew before John, which might have had a strong bit to do with why her father loathed him the way he did.  “No, I don’t,” she whispered, her smile gracing her features as she remained there on her knees between his thighs, her lips stealing to his for a brief moment before she’d draw back.  “But I don’t think I’m talking about you shaving my legs making me more in love with you either,” she reminded him as she stole another pass of his lips, not wanting to return to her end of that tub in the slightest.  A slow smirk slipped across her face as the man was there, in the tub, and she’d see just how long she could keep this going.  Slipping her hand behind him, she unplugged the drain, allowing the water to begin making its way down the drain to allow for fresh water to be added.  Turning slowly, carefully maneuvering though all the while knowing John would let nothing happen that would cause her nor the baby any harm.  As she slipped back down, her back to his, she leaned against his chest.  Off to one side so she could turn her head to his, her eyes met his with an innocent smile on her face.  “I think all important decisions should be made just like this from now on.  What do you say?  Dinner choices.  What to watch on tv.  Pretty much everything.”  It wasn’t /this/ tub she was so into.  It was this man she was so into.  She could do without the place they were staying, even if she was grateful to Judas for helping them out.  She wanted their own place to get started on their family and focusing on what was actually important, them.  “Stay?”  She asked, giving him the free will option to leave if he wanted to, but making her desires known as she found that they had something in that bathtub that she wanted to keep going.  Open communication flowing between the two.  A balance that often times they lacked.  If it was only present in this tub, they may as well take advantage of it while they were stuck at Judas’ place.

John “If I knew shaving your legs was all it took, could have done it the first night and spare us the trouble…” he teased before she was off with the task of the tub. Watching and feeling her lean into him as she made her suggestion. “Whatever makes you happy, Spence.” he stated simply, hearing her question as he gave a slow nod. “as long as you don’t tell nobody that I took a bath with you willingly.” he returned, thinking they had a promise if she could keep up her end of the bargain. Lips finding her temple where he allowed them to linger. Hand sweeping down over her stomach.

Spencer “You were held at gun point by a psychotic pregnant woman insisting she would kill you or your son if you didn’t lay with her in the tub.  Got it.”  Her words were teasing as she felt the pressing of his lips to her temple.  Leaning into that touch as his hands moved down over her stomach.  A soft sigh passed her lips as ten minutes earlier she could not have imagined them in this position at all.  John had shown more growth than she ever would have anticipated from the man, and yet she knew love did very strange things to people.  As the water drained out of the tub around them, she remained still there against him until the noise of the last of the water funneling out through the drain made itself known.  Slipping her hand to the faucets, she turned on only the hot water at first as it was still warm from when she filled the tub not long before.  Adding in the cold to appease the doctor’s wishes at least to some degree, she lowered her hand, letting the fresh water fill around them.  “So you really think we could get a fixer upper and have it ready in time?”  she asked, conceding to negotiate with the man as he had been so kind as to do the same for her in regards to their child’s name.  Sure, she wanted move in ready.  She wanted move in now if it meant they could get into their own place and start getting the baby’s room ready, but if John wanted to do it another way, she would at least entertain the idea of such.

John Watching her adding water to refill the tub, his hand remained to her stomach. Finding it intensely interesting and odd how that child lurked just under that surface and how he could most likely feel his father’s hand from overtop of his mother’s stomach. Lost in that thought before he heard her question and perked a brow. Allowing a low sigh. “Honestly? I don’t know if it’ll be ready right then but give me about 2 months after purchase date and it’ll be perfect.” he offered. “Or maybe…we could rent a place in the meantime. I can borrow the money from Judas.” he stated, knowing it took a lot to make that offer but they needed it and his brother was always quick to remind him that he’d be happy to help in these respects even if Johnny /would/ be paying him back.

Spencer There were certain things Spencer had in her mind.  Moments she had pinpointed that she was truly looking forward to with their son that would grace them in just a few weeks.  One of which was bringing him home, to a room done just for him.  Walls painted by the two of them.  A crib in the center of the room, free standing from the walls as he was the focal point of the bedroom.  A piece of furniture in the room made by his father’s hands.  But as John asked her for two months and the idea of renting in the meantime, his mention of perfect struck her.  John had never come off to her as one who strove for perfection anywhere outside of their marital bed.  But in that moment, she saw something there in him that had her instantly nodding her head.  “Let’s find one.”  She agreed, only hoping they could get the financing under her, and perhaps have the down payment rolled into the sale.  It was rare anymore, but it could be done.  “And we can get a rental in between, but only if you can make me just one promise.”  Bringing her hand over his there at her stomach, a restful baby making only slight motions beneath their hands.  “Promise me the first thing we do is his room.  That way when we leave the hospital to bring him home, we take him there and we put him in his bed and even if the rest of the house is unlivable, he spends his first moments in that room.”  Her eyes fixated on his as she anticipated his response, hoping they could find a way to meet halfway here as she put every ounce of trust in the man that he would put into her own wishes.  Compromise was now flowing in both directions and she was completely at ease with the idea of it.

John The man was far from a perfectionist, but he knew Spence was. He felt an obligation to make this experience as close to perfection as he could. This was her first child and while the baby would be important to him without a doubt, there was something about saying that. He was her firstborn. The first baby she’d ever look down and see her own traits reflected and maybe a few of his own. Hopefully less the latter and more the first, in John’s mind. He wanted it all to be perfect for her, as it hardly had for him. He had been denied these pleasures with River. These firsts. She would not be. Hearing her agreement, he glanced down towards her. “Yeah…I can do that.” he stated, as the baby’s room would be no big task. Or so he thought. Imagining a house they didn’t even know existed yet. Meeting her eyes with a nod.

Spencer As the water reached an appropriate level, she’d steal her eyes from him for the moment as she reached over to turn off the source.  “And then we do River’s room.”  She offered, not dropping the dream of having the young boy there within the close fold of their family very soon.  One of the things she had hated the most about how things were playing out at the moment was their lack of access to River.  She had gotten something rather steady going there for a while, but with her breakdown a couple months’ prior, such a thing wasn’t possible in her eyes.  If she were to be arrested, if the evidence were to surface, it would not be with John’s son in their presence.  “And then /our/ room.”  She added stress upon it, flirting with her husband a bit there as she spoke of a home she would have no idea just how much work or money it would need poured into it.  Just certain the right house existed with enough work to be done to keep the price down, but not so much that it would take months upon months to move in, she was finally feeding into John’s plan on this one without the resistance he had been met with in the bedroom not long ago.   Spencer had spent long enough ignoring this pregnancy, denying it, hiding it.  In the past few weeks it had all started to weigh on her and now with only a few weeks to go, she was finally truly getting excited about the baby arriving and the four of them starting their family.  “The whole threshold thing… out of the question?”  She asked, teasing him a bit there as she stole a kiss from his lips.

John Hearing her mention of River’s room, the man nodded. Yet, knowing the room would be a painful reminder. An empty crib with an occupied one in the other room only because one belonged to a different mother. He only hoped that her parents didn’t overhear what happened with River and learned that they could pull the same. Her mention of /their/ room was specific enough, idly glancing over towards the spicket before her other question struck. An inappropriate smirk as she pressed her lips to his. “Might be a little hard to pull off because I can imagine you’d be holding the baby by then.”

Spencer “Not then, John.  When we get the keys.  When it’s ours.  Even though it won’t be ready, it’ll be…” It was then that she realized that day would come while she was still quite pregnant.  Scrunching her nose as she dismissed the thought there, shaking her head.  “Not a big deal,” she offered, admitting defeat on that one.  She knew John was strong, but it had been quite some time since the night he carried her from the spare bedroom of their former apartment to the bedroom they shared.  Remembering how he had been with her that night would take over her thoughts for a moment as she turned slightly, her face resting against his chest.  “Tell me what you want,” she requested, wanting to hear his thoughts.  She’d told him what she wanted and what order she thought they should tackle it, giving her only real request that their child be brought there first, placed in his bed, and it be his first home even if they weren’t living within it yet.  “When you think of our house, what do you think of?”  She asked, her fingertips playing with the ends of his, completely relaxed there against him.  By far one of their softer times together, but the woman was in sheer heaven experiencing such with him.  Knowing it was not of the norm for them made it all the more memorable in her eyes, even if it was one of those moments between them she’d have to take to the grave.

John “ohhhh…yeah, we could pull it off.” he stated, not much fearing the prospect of her being that pregnant as he could pull it off now and he could pull it off then. Feeling her resting to his chest, he heard her request. She asked a very intense question that he had asked himself. One that was bound to drudge up a lot of feeling and it did. Nearly taking his breath away as he managed a deep breath. Not even sure if he wanted to answer. It made his chest heavy, swallowing hard. “When I…when I was little…one of my earliest memories was back in a house in Port Richmond. I don’t even know why we were there. Things weren’t so bad in those days. There were less of us. Before Joelle was born.” pausing. “Judas was probably around 6 or 7. I was maybe 5…and the old owners left a little bike in the yard. We didn’t know how to ride bikes because no one was around to teach us but Judas decided that he wanted to learn. I wanted to learn too but he told me no. Not yet. ‘Wait until I learn and when I’ve learned, I’ll teach you.’ I listened to him. He was the brave one, he was the older one. I watched him outside from the window for hours. Getting on, falling off, getting up. Doing it again. By about dinner, you could have wrung his clothes out from how bloody he was but by the time the sun went down, he had gotten it. Somehow, by himself.” glancing away for a moment, he returned to her eyes. “So he came in the house and he brought me outside…and he taught me. In the grass at first so if I fell, it didn’t hurt and then on the street. I didn’t bleed once. He taught himself first so he could teach me. That’s what brothers do. They protect one another…and though I know that our son will always have parents to teach him how to ride a bike, I’d want to see River out there with him someday. Grabbing the handlebars when he lost his balance, helping him get a running start…” stopping, the man cleared his throat. Knowing how impossible that all seemed now. The reminder of how close in age they would be like he and Judas were an ever prevalent reminder.

Spencer As John began, he had Spencer’s full attention.  She was so focused on what was on the inside, she had forgotten momentarily what the house was actually going to be.  A place for the four of them to live, to experience life, to grow together.  It wouldn’t take long before a slow smile would sweep her features as John opened up a bit to her about a childhood she would never fully comprehend.  As he glanced away, she could only assume it was to refocus himself as to not allow the memory to fully take him over.  It had her though, hook, line, and sinker.  Small pools of moisture collected in the corners of her eyes as she kept her eyes set to his own.  There for him throughout as her fingers continued their nonsensical pattern over his as if she didn’t have them committed to memory already.  “Our son will have parents and a big brother to love him and protect him,” she reminded him, that much she was confident in.  They might have had to wait a little longer than either of them had wanted with not having a permanent residence, but the new house was going to go a long way with the court system to show the stability John was now able to offer the child.  Not to mention being married to a cop, albeit dirty, but.  She knew not to try to overly convince the man that River would be there soon enough, but she knew it in her heart to be true.  She didn’t blame John for keeping it at arm’s length in his slight hesitation and disbelief as surely he would be attempting to protect himself from the letdown, but she had promised him happiness and she was going to give it to him.  “And while River is teaching Rhys to ride his bike in the grass… where will you be?”  She asked, her smile only growing that much more as she drew her lower lip between her teeth.

John Hearing her reminder, she said it but she had to say that. It was expected and appreciated but he knew better. He always had known better. Maybe someday but by then, so much damage will have been done. His sights were still locked on getting him back before his third birthday, yet anything past that, he wasn’t sure he could bring himself to explain to a child one day why his earliest memories did not have him in it. Why he had to learn to call him “dad.” Hearing her give into that name like he knew she would, the question earned a low nod of his head. Meeting her eyes. “You know where I’ll be.” he reminded her simply, as if it was the simplest question in the world. /Right there beside them./ As if he’d miss the chance.

Spencer As he confirmed that which she already knew, just beyond an acknowledging nod of his head to her slipping in of the name she would choose for him, there was not a bit of stress residing within the woman.  Going from stressful house purchasing discussions to stressful name discussions to now having most of it all worked out, she was beside herself.  Lifting her hand from his, abandoned there against her stomach, she brought her hand to the side of his face.  Meeting his eyes, completely on board with the entire idea of the boys playing in the yard with their father right there, she would move heaven and earth to make that happen for John without a single doubt of her mind.  “I can’t wait,” she whispered, an honest confession as it was exactly what she wanted as well.  Lifting her chin slightly, she brought her lips to softly pass over his, a kiss to match the tone of the conversation though not a typical display of affection between the two.

John Meeting her lips with his own, anything other than that kiss and it’s tone would have seemed inappropriate given the obvious. He allowed his fingers to gently pass over hers and over her navel. Knowing how she felt about the fact that her belly button had popped and he was always playing with it just to get a reaction out of her. Trying not to smile into the kiss as it was literally just about the only thing that could make him laugh at the moment despite the fact that it was at her expense.

Spencer Drawing back from what might have been one of the sweetest kisses the two would ever share, she instantly was batting his hand away from her stomach.  “C’mon, John.  I kiss you, you kiss me.  There’s no ‘let’s fuck with Spence’s belly button’ involved in that.”  She complained, a pout there at her lips as she drew her arms up to cross against her chest, her forearms resting against her protruding stomach.  “That’s it.  Bath over.  And I’m telling everyone you took it willingly, and you requested bath salts.”  Her words left her lips quickly as she was reaching for the drain to let the water out again.  A glorified temper tantrum earned by him completely.  He was more than deserving of it, knowing how much she hated her body in general at this point in time.  No part of her felt sexy and definitely not that part of her that seemed to draw his attention time and time again.

John “I did kiss you!” he complained in return, watching her pout that he would have happily kissed. Loving that pout. Hearing her threat that brought a shake of his head. Seeing her letting the water out as it was one way to get out of the tub. “Oh, relaaax.” he stated as his lips found her temple and her cheek repeatedly, alternating between the two as he attempted to kiss it better. “I’d let you play with my belly button…” he reminded her and she knew he would as his lips pressed firm kisses down her jawline and the back of her shoulder. Literally, kissing up. “You’re all baby, Spence. I bet I can feel a little foot right underneath that belly button.” he reminded her, as the woman had no reason to feel insecure about it.

Spencer “John,” she whined, feeling his kisses that were so fucking hard to resist, though she would try with all of her might to maintain that pout at her lips.  As his lips found her jawline, she was fucked and she knew it.  “John, c’mon.  I don’t like it,” she complained, though he well knew it by now.  She wanted her body back.  She wanted the body back that she knew he had enjoyed from day one.  She wanted their child, but she wanted her body back.  Her booty shorts.  The tiny tank tops.  She wanted it all but it was still so far out of reach.  “I bet you can!”  She laughed, finally showing he was breaking through her as she was fairly certain with the right amount of pressure to any area of her stomach, he could more than likely make the shape of the child’s head, bottom, foot, maybe even a hand if the baby was feeling cooperative enough.  Feeling his lips to the back of her shoulder, she was quickly losing her own battle there.  Knowing it, she gripped her hands to the side of the tub, taking the first step to lifting herself out of the tub and away from his attempt to make his transgression forgiven.  “John…” his name again, perhaps going for a record for how many times she could say it in thirty-five seconds.  A tilt of her head with a sigh to her lips would prove he was getting to her as she pressed her palms against the tub to lift herself, the struggle between a pout and a laugh at her lips still waging its own war.

John Hearing her laugh, he knew he was getting somewhere. Just going to show that she was all pregnancy belly. Feeling like he was cracking through the ice as he heard his name once more. “Spence.” he returned knowingly, arms sneaking underneath of hers to assure she wasn’t going anywhere. Showing that his arms could still very much wrap around her and then some as his lips found her ear. Pressing those firm kisses. “all this hostility when I just want to play with your belly button.”

Spencer As his arms slipped around her, holding her there, she kept her hands placed on the rim of the tub as though she could find an opportunity to slip the man’s hold, though she more than knew better.  As his lips found her ear, she drew her lower lip between her teeth.  “You aren’t playing fair, John, and you know it,” she accused as she bit against her lower lip.  Always so easily turned on, he wasn’t helping matters as pregnant Spencer was perhaps even more ready to go at all times than non-pregnant Spencer, which spoke volumes.  “John, please.  John.  Just.  God…” Feeling herself on the verge of conceding to let him play with it if it meant he would stop this onslaught of kisses.  Even four months ago, she would’ve been turned around, straddling the man in no time flat.  Letting him bend her over the edge of the tub.  Positioned against the top of the bathroom counter.  Pushed against the bathroom wall.  The opportunities were endless.  But now, there was that protruding stomach that said such things were simply not possible.  This would play through her mind over and over again as he kissed her flesh, having to literally remind herself that she couldn’t from where they were.  She had to get out of the tub.  She had to get them out of the tub.  She had to have him and she couldn’t have him there.  “You are playing with fire, Mr. James…”

John Hearing her relenting, he had to laugh. It was too fun for him to get her going. She entertained him even when she wasn’t trying and at times, he felt that was the differences. The women he was used to dealing with were bodies and faces, hardly personalities. Nothing held at the end of the day but that. She was different, always had been. It held even when the rest faded away. Hearing her final statement that drew out a low laugh. “Good thing we are in an empty tub then…”

Spencer “John!”  She screamed, using every ounce of strength she had now to push against him, not finding his antics funny at all.  “Let me go!”  She screamed out again, turning her face towards him, finding the look there on his face indicating just how much he was enjoying this.  “I’m gonna…”  she began, a threat just behind it was assured.  “I’m…” again she would begin it before finally her pout would disappear completely, her lips suddenly pressing firmly to his as he had won this war if by those kisses alone.  Knowing the tub wasn’t an option, one wouldn’t know it from the fire behind her kiss.  Her hand finding the side of his face as she turned into him as much as she could there, abandoning the hands at the sides of the tub, feeling his arms still there around her.  She hated him for this, for breaking her.  She hated him and yet she loved him all at the same time, for there was no other that could get her going quite like he could.

John “Spence!” he returned with the same enthusiasm, hearing her idle threats that she couldn’t even finish as he felt her turn slightly. Hand to his face as he met her eyes with a challenging smile. This was what she fought for, this is what she loved and would come home to each night and she had to know it. There was no in between with Johnny. It was intensity on both sides of the spectrum and she was in for a hell of a ride. “I love you…” he reminded her, letting the sound roll off slowly from his tongue. A reward he knew she loved just for dealing with him at the moment.

Spencer Feeling that break between them, she met his eyes as he said those words to her.  Words that were only exchanged ever so often.  Words that meant more to her coming from him than they had coming from any other in her entire life for with John, she knew them to be true.  They were prized.  They weren’t overused.  They were only for their most private of moments.  But to hear him prompt them first had caught her off guard.  She let her thumb stroke against his cheek as a smile took her features.  “And I love you,” she promised, as if there were any question on the matter.  Pressing her lips to his once more, she brought her hands back to the sides of the tub to see if he would let her go now that the water had escaped the basin entirely.  

John Getting what he wanted out of her, he’d let her go. Arms slipping from around her to allow her to stand up without fear of distraction. Knowing he’d assure she was careful as she went as it was precious cargo between her and the baby both. A hand instead passing over the top of his head. Still attempting to grow used to the feeling himself as he smirked softly. Quite proud of himself for both getting in that and getting himself out.

Spencer Knowing John was right behind her, she could ease up with no fear that the man had her completely.  Once to her feat, she reached out of the tub to grab a towel for herself.  Wrapping the towel around her body, she carefully stepped out of the tub and onto the mat there waiting as she grabbed John’s towel for him as well.  Holding it just out of his reach where he would have to get out of the bath tub dripping ass wet to retrieve it, slowly taking another step back with a grin on her lips.  Teasing him now since he had more than had his fair share of fun on that last one.  “You want this?”  She asked, a laugh there at her lips as she took another step back, now making it impossible for him to snatch it from her from within that bath tub.

John Standing up as he heard her question, he narrowed his eyes. Knowing exactly what she was doing but he wasn’t going to chase her for it. “Easy…floor is wet.” he reminded her as she was literally dripping onto it and any sudden movements could render disaster as he stepped out of the tub himself without much concern. “I don’t need that towel, I can just climb into bed like this…wouldn’t make any fuckin’ difference to me.”

Spencer Hearing his warning, she took notice quickly as she took another step back, still attempting to taunt the man with the towel as she took advantage of the moment to look him up and down.  “You can’t get into bed like that.  You’ll get the sheets wet!”  She reminded him, shaking the towel in her hand, reminding him it was the key to getting into bed with her.  The only moisture she wanted on his body was either sweat or her own.  “Just take it, John,” she teased, taking another step back.  “Here, I’ll be nice,” she offered, holding it out to him where she would yank it back should his hand make any attempt to the fabric.

John Narrowing his eyes at her, eyes still careful of her footing against the floor as she was actively making him nervous and she knew it. “I’m not taking it, get onto the carpet…” he warned, as the cut off of the rug to the bedroom would provide a bit of traction, walking past her into the room where he loomed ever close to the bed. Threatening to get those sheets of hers wet shamelessly. “Are these the good ones too?” he asked curiously, reaching out to feel whether those were the ones that were a far cry from what he kept. The sheets expected of this kind of penthouse, finding that they were. He had to smirk. “They are the good ones.”

Spencer Standing her ground now on the wet floor, a stand off between the two.  As his hand reached for the bed, she gasped.  “You wouldn’t!”  She dared, but as his wet hand touched the sheets on /her/ side of the bed, she took another step intentionally remaining on that tile floor.  “Come get the towel and I’ll get on the carpet,” she argued, lifting her foot and taking another step, intentionally giving him something bigger than wet sheets to worry about.  “Don’t get on that bed, John James.  Towel.  Towel and… towel and I might let you fuck me.”  She offered, a lift of her brows as if she was making the sacrifice there.  The towel being raised out towards him in front of her.  “Come get the towel and no one gets hurt…”

John “I’m not coming towards you until you get off that fucking carpet.” he returned, watching her step which made him wince. Taking a step forward. “okay, you get onto the carpet and I’ll take the towel.” he returned, attempting to make this work before he heard her offer. Snorting back a laugh. “You /might/? Yeah? You thinking about it?” he asked, knowing well that the man knew how to get what he wanted out of her if he so wanted. “Feet to the rug, missus…and I /might/ think about fucking you.”

Spencer Lifting her foot towards the carpet that was just inches before her, she rested her big toe against the carpet, a smirk to her lips.  “Take a step this way,” she offered, making a little progress there as she brought her hand to the doorframe that separated the bathroom from the bedroom if for no other reason but stability.  Holding his towel now close to her own body, negotiating with him at least to a certain degree here.  “Towel to your body and I might /let/ you fuck me.”  She repeated her own words again, clarifying who was letting what happen here.  She already knew she’d back down to him.  She knew it.  He knew it.  It was just simply in her nature at this point.  But she would not submit to the man until he had her in a compromising position.  Then he could have anything he wanted from her, as always.  But as long as her feet were on the floor and his lips were not on her flesh, Spencer James was still very much in control of herself, for the moment anyways.

John Watching her edging closer to the carpet, he literally growled. Knowing she was throwing her weight in the best way she knew how and she was winning but he was alright with this. For now, until she was over the boundary of the door. “God, I can’t wait until you are not pregnant anymore…throw that difficult little ass over my shoulder…” he reminded her as he reached out for the towel, giving in as he took it and began to towel dry himself with it. “C’mon.”

Spencer The moment he threatened her, she smirked, finding that to be the greatest threat ever.  “Count me in,” she teased, making a mental note to be just as difficult as possible just to make him do it as soon as she was in the clear to do so.  As soon as his hand snatched the towel, she brought both feet forward onto the carpet simultaneously as he told her to come forward.  “See.  Was that so hard?”  She asked teasing the man, a laugh at her lips.  Using her own towel to finally dry herself off, walking towards the dresser to find a set of clothes to sleep in.  “I’m holding you to that over the shoulder thing, by the way,” she reminded him, flashing him a smirk over her shoulder.

John “Don’t you worry. You’ll find yourself there sooner before later…” he seemed to vow as she walked towards the dresser. Relieved to just find her on dry carpet though part of him was still tempted to grab a seat on the bed. Passing the towel over his head and the back of his neck, behind his ears with all the gentle touch of a man cleaning his car against his own skin. Waiting for her to draw out his usual as he dropped the towel into the nearby hamper.

Spencer Given ample opportunity to play another little game with the man, she withdrew her own articles of clothing from the right side dresser drawers, then his from the left.  Turning around with his boxers in her hand, she smirked as she leaned over, stepping within them.  As she brought them up, she flashed him a full smile.  “Tonight, we trade.”  She teased, unable to even finish the statement without laughter interrupting her.  Playfulness had found its way into their night in a way that was uncommon for the two of them.  All of it playing into a rollercoaster that had come to be some sort of normal with her over the last two months as the pregnancy seemed to infect her brain entirely by this point.  “No?  Not so much?”  She asked, biting at her lower lip as she looked up towards him through a short distance between the two.  “You can take them back if you want to…” she offered, a lift of her brows she didn’t realize had even happened.

John “No. no. no. no.” already starting his chant by the time he saw what she was going to be doing, he knew he wouldn’t be able to get it out of his head. Whining as she pulled them on. “No.” he insisted as she brought them up bringing him to reach up and thumb at the elastic. Wanting them off. “Those are mine…and I most definitely can’t wear yours.” he reminded her, wincing at the thought. Already reaching out to tug them down and off. “Now I won’t be able to achieve wood for a fucking week. Did this one to yourself.”

Spencer John’s reaction was priceless.  Spence was in stitches cracking up instantly as he was dragging the boxers from her.  “Oh c’mon, John.  I was fucking kidding,” she managed through her laughter, shaking her head.   John not getting hard for twelve hours would be a miracle, let alone a week.  “You wanna bet me?”  She asked, a devious smirk already to her lips as she was stepping out of the boxers at the guiding of his hand, her own hand slipping out to wrap around his piece.  “How much do you want to bet me?”  The grin to her face said the woman was far from done with her own playful antics, yet as she positioned herself to touch him, she knew she was relinquishing power at the very same time.  Stroking her hand against him, she stepped in closer, lips finding his upper arm as her free hand gripped his bare ass.  

John Feeling her hand instantly going for him, he met her grin as he took in a deep breath. Shaking his head as he felt her pull in. Knowing his body would make him a liar. “Well, you see…I meant that I wouldn’t get a naturally occuring boner for a week.” rephrasing to make himself less of a liar, she knew what she was doing when it came to him. A little too well versed and what got the man going.

Spencer “Ohhh, is that what you /meant/ to say?”  She asked, knowing that was a blatant lie in itself as the man tended to wake up hard as fuck.  “Ooookay, John.  Let’s go with that.  And in the morning, you make sure I get a quick hand check to find out.”  Eyes cut upward to him knowingly, her smirk easily felt against his upper arm.  As her hand continued to stroke the man, her eyes would drift back up towards his eyes, gauging his reaction behind his hues.  “So… now the question is… do you want your wife?”  She asked, teeth coming in contact with his skin just beyond her question as if it were a slight taste of what would forever be present between the two.  “Or do you want me to get dressed?”  She asked, tightening her grip slightly as she kept that stroke slow and even up and down his full length.

John “Mhm.” agreeing with his continued efforts at convincing her, he heard her response. Meeting those light eyes of hers, the look of mischief loud and clear. She could do mischief plenty well in her own right though she’d probably deny it. Hearing her follow up question, he had to smirk. “Have I ever /not/ wanted my wife?” he asked honestly, knowing she knew the answer to that. That his idea that he did not want her could stop there if considered that the man had never backed down from the challenge. Leaning in where he pressed another firm kiss to her jawline just as he had a few moments before. Hands seeking out her hips.

Spencer The feeling of his lips to her jaw would naturally bring her chin to rise towards him, a bite already there at her lips as she continued the stroke of her hand around his hardening cock.  “Never,” she returned, as he was absolutely correct in having never not wanted her, although as the days stretched on, she was losing the ability to believe he wanted her as much as he once had.  Things were different.  She was different.  Her own insecurities would reside just behind her hues, though they were every one unfounded as John never instilled them on her, but she to herself.  As his hands found her hips, her teeth released that lower tier as she lifted to her toes to steal his instead.  A soft bite as her eyes cut up towards his, desire flooding hazel eyes as she tugged slowly back against his lip.

John “That’s right…and I’m never /not/ going to want you…” he stressed, and there was nothing she could do to change that. Feeling her seek out his lips as he felt her tug. Allowing this as he leaned forward into her. One of his hands finding the side of her face so he could better control this situation. Even better, to steal control from her as he pulled back and met her eyes. “and I always am going to want you…even one day when you want to crochet and watch soaps all afternoon. Going to be that perverted old man you gotta’ shoo off.” he remarked, though most of him thought he wouldn’t make it that long, he could at least give her that much of what their future could entail.

Spencer A smirk graced her lips as she let his lip fall from her grasp.  “And I’ll still ride you like it’s your last day, even as I catch up on my stories with the crochet needle going with my arms around your neck.”  If he could tease, she’d do the same, though she was rather certain it wouldn’t matter how old they grew together, she’d still want him just the same as she had since day one.  If there was one thing that was never lacking in their relationship, it was sexual chemistry.  Feeling his hand to the side of her face, she was privy to his game there, and she’d let him have it, for there was no place she loved better than to be at the will of the man’s hand.  Trust radiated from her at every turn in positions such as this as her eyes shone up to his that full and endless trust that he had earned from her one of their first nights as a married couple.  Not breaking her eyes free from his, she brought her hand up from his cock, turning her face towards her palm to add moisture against her palm before she’d bring her hand back to glide easily over his piece, able to draw a quicker pace there as she stole her lower lip for her own hold once more.

John Laughing at the mention of the crochet needle. He could see it. Somehow. He could see a future with her, not just one day to the next. He saw a tomorrow with her. “Wouldn’t expect anything less.” he assured her as he felt her hand seek him out once again with the addition of lubrication for the task. Inhaling slowly. Clearly appreciating it as he watched her against her own bottom lip. Leaning down where he captured it for himself between his teeth. Hand to her hip tightening as he pushed a step forward to get them a bit closer to the bed.

Spencer Before her teeth could leave marks against her own lower lip, he had stolen it from her, generating a soft whine from the woman.  Taking the prompted step back as he stepped forward, she took another and another until the back of her thighs were against the bed behind her.  Following his lead every step of the way as he had his wife in full obedience mode, a rarity as she often challenged that authority.  But truly, she knew he had earned this one for how compassionate he had been within the bath for her benefit.  Additionally, when she behaved, she truthfully reaped the benefits tenfold.  Her hand continually stroked against him, rotating her wrist slightly as she came up his length where she would remain until he deemed her to stop.  Her eyes easily reflected her state of mind as she kept them up to his, fixated on his light hues as if to eagerly await his direction.  She may not have felt the part she once stood within, as she was lacking certain elements she once held, but she still knew she would never give the opportunity for John to want for something or someone else.  She would please him to the very best of her own ability, even if she couldn’t see what he saw anymore.

John Feeling her still stroking him as he guided her to the bed and knowing her to be the end of it. Merely waiting for her to go ahead and make that stop there. Quite alright with this in the first place as his hand remained to her jawline. Meeting her eyes as she met his. For once, he did not wish to dominate her. He wanted the push and pull, the ebb and flow. He just wanted the feel of her and the release at the end of the day. To be close to her. Meeting her eyes, he watched her as he allowed his hand at her hip to sweep down. Tracing the delicate flesh between her legs as he furthered his closeness to her heated core with each passing moment.

Spencer As his hand fell gently against her hip inwards to her inner thigh, she drew in a deep breath at the softness in the man’s calloused hands.  She had found and learned the difference in the way the man would look at her in moments such as these.  The tone of his eyes nearly altering in softer times to which she was almost certain she was picking up on in that moment.  No strong power play made, she leaned forward, pressing her lips to his chest as she took it upon herself to test the waters of the gentle approach she felt through his eyes.  Breaking that eye contact if only to press her lips to his flesh, drawing back slowly to capture his eyes once more.  Double checking herself to be sure she was picking up the right signals from her husband as she brought her free hand to his side.  Gripping lightly at the man’s side for that stability as she lifted one leg to draw up to the bed, followed by the other, bringing herself to her knees in front of him at the taller height the bed offered her.  Still not eye to eye with the man, but closer than she was on flat foot.  Her hand at his cock took a softer approach as she became more thorough in those strokes, molding to that which she thought he wanted.  The one time she was game for true obedience, he didn’t want it, but the woman wouldn’t crack a smile to the thought as this took her position to a new level.  Equally inventive with a common goal of satisfying her husband by means of their joint partnership.

John If her pregnancy had caused any change in them sexually, it was this. Less inclined to grip her up and do what he might normally. Quicker to allow her the softer stuff knowing he couldn't quite enjoy himself with anything too rough. Too concerned with her comfort as she drew back on the bed. Slipping a hand from between her thigh where he found her side again, gesturing for her to lay back as he had found his window to dive exactly into what he wanted.

Spencer Even as the tone had changed between them intimately speaking, there would still be those moments where he would gesture something that would send a spark through her.  Dragging her lower lip through her teeth, she would do as suggested with little to no hesitation.  Altering her position to lay back against the bed, her eyes shot up to him, a faint smile gracing her lips as she drew a soft breath.  The anticipation of his touch already getting to her even in that brief few moments of break between them. Truthfully, a part of her hoped this softer side of things found some residence in life after the baby, though she truly could not wait until a time when they could return to the full degree of that which they knew at the same time.  Reminding herself it was just a few weeks away was more than enough to get her through, aside from the fact that the increased intimacy between them here was more than appreciated for what it was.  She loved John before she was pregnant, but had found an entirely different level of loving him while pregnant as she saw firsthand just how far his protection for her would reside within him.

Chapter 16

Sunday, July 4 7:28 AM

Kath breathed heavily as she ran down the street heading back to her house. Feeling her muscles tighten up, she slowed down to a walk as she listened to the music through her earphones. 

“I hope that we can turn back the time and make it all alright, all alright for us…”

Pressing the skip button on her phone, Kath blinked back tears and chastised herself for being emotional over such a song. She had been doing so good numbing herself from It had been three days since she talked to him. Three long days that consisted of ignoring his calls and texts. Three long days of silent nights and looking for things to distract her from him. 

She knew it was immature to ignore him but it would hurt too much to have him tell her the truth. 

Turning the corner, she looked ahead as she spotted a figure sitting on the curb in front of her house. Head down, with his hands gripping his hair and elbows resting on top of his knees, she stopped walking dead in her tracks as she recognized who it was. 

Feeling her breath hitch, she watched the figure dig into his pocket, grab his cellphone and hold it up to his ear. 

“Come on, come on, come on… Pick up. Please.”

Kath felt her cell phone vibrating in little fast pulses, almost as fast as her heartbeat at that moment. All of a sudden, the vibrating stopped and she kept still as the person groaned in frustration as he clenched his phone in his hand tightly and brought it up over his head, only to throw it forcefully to the ground.

“Fuck.” He yelled out as he stood up and faced towards her.

Before she could make a move to hide herself, her eyes locked with the person standing in front of her house.DJ.The first thing she noticed were his the bags under his tired eyes. A part of her was happy that he looked as miserable as how she felt, but a part of her wanted to run up to him and give him a big hug. 

Closing her eyes, all her feelings from that Thursday night came flooding back.

Girl. Hotel. Late night. 

Kath turned the other way to get as much distance from DJ as possible in hopes that he would get the message but as her tired legs picked up pace, she felt two hands around her waist stopping her.

“Wait, Kath.”

Holding her breath, Kath’s body tensed as she listened to DJ’s heavy breathing, waiting for him to continue.

“I’ve been trying to reach you for three days. I know everything makes it look bad but it’s not what you think it is…”

Kath’s anger burst as she heard the last sentence. Spinning around, she glared at DJ. There were pictures. They were posted everywhere. She saw with her two eyes.

“It doesn’t matter what I think it is, I don’t care.”

But she did. It was easier to pretend she didn’t because it wouldn’t get her hopes up but a part of her prayed to God that it was all a misunderstanding. 

As she tried to walk past him to her house, DJ took a hold of Kath’s arm to stop her from walking away for the second time.

“It does matter. You matter,” DJ’s voice wavered as he tried to make eye contact with her. 

Kath looked off to the side, quickly blinking back tears. DJ continued.

“You have it all wrong. The girl. That’s my best friend’s girlfriend. She was just visiting us and it was too late for her to go home by herself so she stayed the night. Please, please, please, believe me.”

Biting her lip at his explanation, Kath turned her head to read DJ’s eyes. They were always so expressive even through facetime and pictures and the ones staring back at her spoke volumes of truth. 

Mentally scolding herself for being so hardheaded for the past three days and putting no trust into him, she looked down at the ground to hide her obvious embarrassed pink cheeks.

“Have you read any of my texts? Listened to any of my calls?”

Kath kept her head down as she shook it in response. Feeling soft fingertips touch her chin, she felt her head being tipped upwards to look directly into DJ’s playful eyes.

Good God, his smirk. Kath melted at the sight of him so close.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what we are and I have no right to get mad but I did. I should’ve asked you, I should’ve replied. It was stupid. Immature. I’m sorry,” she rambled out, pausing for a moment to see if DJ would forgive her or not.

Suddenly, two arms wrapped around her upper body as she was engulfed into the arms of DJ. Squeezing tightly, Kath felt DJ bury his face into the crook of her shoulder as she closed her eyes and lifted her arms to feel the warmth of his body. The feeling of butterflies in her stomach came crashing through her body as DJ squeezed tighter and lifted her in the air.

Giggling, Kath was set back down on the ground.

“No more misunderstandings? We’re okay?” she asked.

“More than okay. But you do have a right, Kath. I don’t know what we are but I do know that I don’t want to be without you whether it’s three days, three hours, or three weeks.” As they stared into each other’s eyes, they both smiled. It was this DJ she liked the most. Not the heartthrob. Not the rockstar. To her, he was just DJ. 

Watching as his eyes darkened, she looked back curiously, silently asking him what he was up to.

“I fucking missed you, baby.”

 Before she could react to his words, two hands enclosed around her cheeks as two soft lips came down and pressed against hers in surprise.

“The connection was bad so we practically had to shout, which was not very conductive to communicating delicate shades of feeling. It was like talking on a windswept hill through upturned collars.

. . .

“I lay back on the hotel bed, phone receiver hand, and looked at the ceiling. I could be lying on the ocean floor counting fish, I thought. How many would I have to count before I could say I was done?

. . .

“I didn’t get the picture, but then again, there are lots of things I don't know anything about. Age certainly hasn't conferred any smarts on me. Character maybe, but mediocrity is a constant, as one Russian writer put it. Russians have a way with aphorisms. They probably spend all winter thinking them up.

. . .

It was about 2 pm, and I watched Drake as he slept.

I couldn’t help but wonder to myself…. Luna?

I sighed, and just turned around to look at the wall. I missed my mom and I would probably go to see her before work today.

Muscular arms wrapped around my torso and pulled me back. Drake’s warm, naked body felt so good against mine, and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Selena?” His voice was groggy and attractive.

“Yes?” I answered softly.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m alright… you go ahead and continue to sleep, okay?”

“Okay,” he nuzzled his head into my neck before pecking a kiss on it.

“Wait…”

He snickered, “Yes, Selena?”

“What am I to you? Like a fling? Just sex? What is it?”

He sighed, “Look at me.”

I turned my body around but I didn’t look at him, I focused my eyes on his neck.

“My eyes, Selena.”

I looked up at his face.

“I don’t know what we are. But if you were just a fling I wouldn’t be so nice to you. And if it was just sex, wouldn’t I have gone after somebody with more experience?”

I shrugged, “I guess, I just… I don’t know,” I played with my fingers.

“Where is all this coming from?”

“It’s just when I was giving you head last night you called me Luna. Why?”

“Selena, I honestly can’t tell you why. I didn’t think it would offend you. It’s like Luna is your sexier alter ego, and when you were doing what you were doing, you know… I just said it.”

“You think I’m not sexy as myself?”

“You are.. I didn’t mean to offend you, Selena.”

“Well, you did. Don’t call me Luna, cause it’s not my name. Ever. I’m not Luna.. Luna is a stage name, and a stage name only. And if you ever call me that outside of work again, we’re no longer speaking to each other. Got that?”

He raised his eyebrows, “Okay, okay.. I’m sorry. Alright?”

I looked down, “Okay,” I said softly.

He sighed, “Now you’re going to be upset with me all day or something?”

“I don’t know,” I continued to play with my fingers.

“Don’t do that, Selena. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“You should’ve known it would have.”

“Look, I already told you I did not know. I didn’t even say it while I was in my right state of mind.”

“Drake, are you telling me you become slow when you’re getting your dick sucked?”

“People say things they don’t mean during sex, relax yourself. I already apologized, what else do you want?”

I got up, “I’m going to see my mom.”

“Now you all of a sudden wanna go see your mom, cause you know you’re being ridiculous?”

I turned to him, “I’m not being fucking ridiculous, you called me Luna.”

“Who are you talking to?” He wrinkled his eyebrows.

I stared at him with a blank face, kind of afraid to answer. I rolled my eyes and turned to grab my clothes.

“Smart answer,” his voice was full of anger and annoyance, I could hear it.

I swallowed hard, and put on my panties, and my bra.

“So you’re really gonna leave right now?”

I didn’t answer him. I continued to put on my clothes.

“You know what? Do what the fuck you want. I’m not gonna chase you.”

“I don’t need you to,” I slid on my pants.

“Okay,” I watched him get up and put on underwear.

“Where are you going?”

“To drive you to your house,” he put on his sweatpants.

I rolled my eyes and walked to his bathroom to fix my hair.

He yelled after me, “What’s the problem now? Did you not say you wanted to go?”

I put my hair in a high ponytail, and fixed it before walking back into his bedroom.

“Are you deaf?”

“No,” I looked at him.

“Then stop acting like it. Now get your shit, so I can drive you since you want to leave so badly. Next time you wanna start acting up, come in your own car and there won’t be any issues.”

I glared at him before grabbing my things.

We got into the car, the ride being filled with nothing but silence and tension.

When we arrived at my house, he stopped to let me out. I went to my house first, so this way I can take my own car, and I can drive myself around when I leave my mother’s.

I didn’t know if I should’ve just walked out because I didn’t want to be disrespectful, so I just looked at my hands, “Thank you,” I spoke softly.

“You’re welcome,” I could see in my peripheral that he wasn’t looking at me either.

I sighed and walked out of his car door. I didn’t know if this was worth us not talking over. But it really did upset me that he called me Luna. And whether he meant it or not… it hurt.

I went into my house to grab a change of clothes for tonight at work, and put it in my bag.

A quick shower occurred, and during that shower I decided to wash my hair, so my mom could roller set it.

I washed it, and kept deep conditioner in. I took a plastic cap and put it over my hair. I got dressed in comfortable clothes, as usual, and put my hoodie on, covering my plastic cap.

I sat down in my mom’s bathroom, with my rinsed hair sitting on top of the towel that was laid onto my shoulders.

She came with the rollers, pins, and a tail comb.

“How’s my baby been?” She takes a section of my hair with the comb.

“That’s irrelevant, how are you feeling?” I smiled sweetly.

“Well… honestly, I feel like every day something is hurting me. If it’s not one, it’s the other. Today, it’s my ankles.”

I frowned, “Ma, do you want me to come live with you?”

“No, baby, I want you to live your life.”

I pouted, “How’s your hair coming along?”

“Strands are still coming out, just as before.”

“But guess what?”

“What?”

“You’re beautiful regardless.”

She blushed, “How’s you and your boss? Still into him?”

“Yea…  I am.. very,” I started to smile to myself. Even though I was mad at him, the thought of him still did the job of making me smile. I checked my phone to see if he texted me, and nothing. Maybe I am overreacting.

“Have you two done anything?”

“No, we haven’t,” I avoided looking at her through the mirror by looking at my nails.

She was silent, so I looked up into the mirror and she had a smirk on her face.

I giggled, “What?”

“You’re lying to your mama,” she pinned a roller, “I see it all in you, you’re glowing.”

I blushed, “Really?”

“Yes, and you only told me about him maybe a month ago… and I know my baby wouldn’t let no man do anything with her in just a month… so you’ve been dealing with him since you started haven’t you?”

I couldn’t stop blushing, and the smile on her face didn’t help.

I smiled, “Well not since I started working there.. but yes. It’s been more than a month.”

“I know you don’t love him, Selena, so what made you sleep with him?”

“Ma, I know this is going to sound so weird, but he really has this just… strong sexual appeal to him. And you know, I was tired of being inexperienced.”

“Baby, that was your virginity, though. You know you’re going to always have feelings for this man now.. right?”

“Always? Ma, it’s only sex.. it doesn’t have to always be affectionate.”

“And a woman’s first time is never just sex, no matter how much she thinks it is. Trust me, chiquita.”

I sighed, not wanting to even debate with my mom. I just wanted to have a great time with her, so that’s what I did.

I spent my whole day until 7:30 pm with my mother, before I drove off to work. My freshly done hair was straight and bouncy and I loved it.

After working the pole, I sat down at the bar and asked Shelby for my favorite drink. She knew what it was.

Her cheerfulness always made me smile. She passed it to me, and I sipped away.

I liked that when I drank, I never drank to get drunk. Once I was buzzed, I was okay.

I saw Christian coming my way and a smile immediately plastered across my face.

“Aw, look who it is,” I smirked.

“You look as gorgeous as ever. Am I allowed to hug you for free?” He smirked back.

I playfully hit him before opening my arms to him. His arms were softly around my waist and his scent of baby powder was something I was slightly fond of.

He let go and sat next to me, “Can we be alone one day?”

“What do you mean?” I continued to sip.

“Is it okay if I take you out? I’d love to get to know you outside of you being Luna.”

I smiled, “Well.. I sort of have someone I’m with.”

“You have a boyfriend?” He frowned.

I shook my head no, “He isn’t my boyfriend.”

“Then why should I suffer because this guy isn’t man enough to be your nigga?” His eyebrows were wrinkled, and he had a slight smile on his face.

I gasped, “Be nice.”

“Sorry. I can’t be nice about anybody who’s keeping me from getting what I want. Can I atleast text you?”

Drake could be texting Honey at this very second, I thought.

“Yes, you may.”

He unlocked his phone and gave it to me to put my number in.

I saved it as Selena 👑.

I gave him his phone back, and he looked at it.

“Selena? That’s your name?”

I nodded.

“Selena… the mother of my kids. Sounds good to me.”

I laughed, “Oh, really?”

He chuckled, “Something like that.”

My bracelet vibrated.

I smiled, “I’ll be right back, okay?” I touched his jawline, “Don’t leave,” I walked away to Drake’s office.

For some reason I wanted to continue my talk with Christian.

I knocked on his door, not ready to look at Drake since our dispute earlier. And in a bratty way, I was upset he didn’t even bother to text me.

Noah opened the door, as I heard Drake’s voice.

“Is that Luna?” He yelled.

I got upset all over again. I’m not sure if I liked hearing that name come out of his mouth anymore.

“Yea,” Noah yelled back.

Drake then stood at the door of the dope room in his office. He held the velour bag and motioned me to come over.

I looked at him then at Noah, “Get it for me and bring it here… please. I don’t want to speak to Drake right now.”

Noah looked at Drake to see his reaction and so did I.

“What?” Drake looked at me with his eyebrows wrinkled, “You know what,” he looked at Niko, “Buzz Honey for me. I’ll have her do this drop.”

I turned to walk out.

“You’re not going anywhere, I didn’t dismiss you. Stay where you are.”

I turned back around and folded my arms, “For what?”

I heard his friends chuckle under their breath.

He snickered, and shook his head, “Alright….. Luna.”

I glared at him.

“Don’t give me no fucking looks, that’s your name when you’re in here. Don’t forget that shit.”

I looked away, blown out of my mind by how inconsiderate he was of my feelings. Am I in the wrong here? At all?

A knock at the door came and Noah opened it.

He pointed to Drake and that’s where Honey walked.

Her ass looked great, I won’t lie. There’s no question as to why Drake was fucking her. So, my question is, is he still doing it and has he been lying to me?

He strictly talked business to her and she was out on her way to make the drop.

It was five minutes later, and I was still standing in his office. It was filled with tension.

Honey came knocking again, and she came in with the money from the drop she had made.

After handing it to Drake, Noah locked the door behind her.

Drake was in his dope room for maybe 20 seconds before I couldn’t take standing in here anymore. I had Christian out in the club waiting for me and he probably left.

“What, am I in time out?!” I yelled to him so he could hear me.

Drake poked his head out a minute later, and looked at his boys, “Don’t buzz anybody else till I say so,” he looked to me and motioned me to come to him, “Get your ass in here.”

“Drake-”

He cut me off, “Now.”

I rolled my eyes and walked into the room. The table where everything usually was, was empty.

I heard the door lock and I turned to him.

“What the fuck is up with you today?”

“Nothing, Drake, why am I in here?”

“You’ve been acting up all fucking day,” he inched closer to me, “I don’t like that shit. Don’t try and disrespect me in front of anybody. It’s cute that your skin got a little thicker, so you wanna have an attitude and shit, but you’re not about to do that in here. Not while you’re working in my fucking club. Do you understand me?”

“Yes,” I looked down.

“Oh, now you wanna be innocent and look down. Cause when I’m nice to you, you want to take advantage of it, and talk shit all day over something I already apologized to you about countlessly. Now you see why I said I don’t have time to be the good guy, right?”

“Yes,” my eyes were still on the ground.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you, Selena, I will not say it again.”

I looked up at him, “Yes, Drake. Yes.”

For some reason, I liked him putting me in my place.

“Good. Now get your ass over by that table.”

I looked at him with lust filled eyes, “Your friends will hear us.”

“Do I look like I give a fuck?”

I bit my lip and walked over to the table and bent over it, “This is what you want?”

He smirked, “Perfect,” he walked behind me.

I laid my head on the table and the scent of weed on the table made me smirk. It sucked that Drake had a say over when I can and cannot smoke.

I felt him pull my thong to the side, and push himself inside of me.

I winced as I felt his thickness push through me. I couldn’t believe we were doing this in a private room inside his office. But nothing felt sexier.

I was expecting his strokes to be deep and slow as it usually is. And that’s how he started.

They were deep and slow strokes that I loved. I bit my lip, refraining from making any sounds.

He rubbed my ass cheek with his hand before slapping it, and hard.

I grunted from the slap and continued to try and keep quiet.

Suddenly, he grabbed all of my hair into his hand, and he quickly pulled my head back, slightly.

I was unprepared for him as his strokes became beastly. They were rough, hard, deep, and so, so loud.

And as much as I wanted to, the pain didn’t let me keep quiet. Because not only did it hurt, but it hurt so fucking good.

“Oh, my god!” I yelled.

He leaned over to whisper in my ear, his hands still gripped onto my hair. “You’re gonna act up again?”

All I could hear was the loud, fast slapping of our bodies.

My moans were uncontrollable, and I take that he didn’t like how I didn’t answer his question. Cause he slapped my ass again, and harder than before.

“I said, are you going to act the fuck up again?”

“No, Daddy,” I whined as I could feel him hitting the end of my canal. And I loved it.

“Say it again. And louder,” he bit on my shoulder.

“Oh, I’ll never act up again, Daddy,” I yelled.

“There you go,” he let go of my hair and I breathlessly laid it back onto the table, screams still leaving my lips.

His strokes continued on for a few minutes before my leg started to tremble, “Please, don’t stop,” I whined.

“I won’t,” he held onto my hips with both hands, and stroked with all his strength.

“Yes!” I yelled as an orgasm took over me. I whined as he continued to please the hell out of me, during my most euphoric moment.

His strokes had slowed down, and soon I felt his warm juices inside of me.

“Wow,” I breathed heavily.

He pulled out of me, and fixed my thong back correctly.

I stood up, running my fingers through my hair. I sat into the table, “There is no way I can walk with these on.. not tonight,” I started to unstrap my platform heels.

“Why?” He smirked and walked in between my legs.

I smirked back, “Cause I’m going to bust my ass, I’m going to be sore all night cause of you.”

“No, no, cause of you. Without all that lip you were giving, that wouldn’t have happened.”

I playfully rolled my eyes and placed my heels on the table, “I have to go back out there.. can I keep my heels in here till it’s time to go?”

“Yes,” he kissed my forehead then went to my ear, “Oh, and don’t forget to tell Christian the truth when he asks why you’re walking that way.”

I got up and shook my head, smiling, “You’re such a stalker, do you know that?”

“Damn right,” he smirked and smacked my ass. He held my hand and opened the door. All of his friends purposely didn’t look at us, making my cheeks burn red.

Drake walked me to the door, “Meet me in my office right before closing.”

I smiled, “Okay.”

When I got back to the bar, just as I thought, Christian was gone. But those rich men from yesterday were here.

Mitchell, as I remember, turned to me with a smile, “Luna, isn’t it?”

I smiled, “Yes, it is.”

“How-”

He was cut off by Honey. She tapped his shoulder and he turned to her, to smile.

“Well, Luna, I’ll see you another time.”

I wrinkled my eyebrows, and nodded, as he walked off with Honey.

They didn’t speak a word before he walked off with her. Maybe she’s with him and is done with Drake for good. I had hoped.

Before closing, I went back to Drake’s office. It was open, since no one was here but us.

He was sitting in his chair, on his phone.

“Waiting on me?” I walked towards him. My shoes were were on top of his desk.

He put his phone down, “I absolutely was. Let’s go to my house and get high as fuck tonight,” he smirked at me.

I put my shoes into my duffle bag, “You’re letting me?”

He stood up and walked around to me, “Yea. We’ve fucked enough for the night.”

I giggled, “Don’t get me excited.”

“I’m serious,” he smiled, “Plus, I want to tell you some things about me. I wanna just talk with you, tonight.”

I smiled and pecked his lips, “There’s some things I want to talk to you about too. Nothing major, though.”

“Okay, then, let’s go,” he grabbed his keys, pulling me out with him by my hand.

We were now in his bedroom, in nothing but our underwear, and I was smoking from a bong for the first time.

I released smoke into the air, as the high was hitting me way harder than it ever did with a blunt.

“So… my real name is Aubrey.”

I laughed, out of my own control. Drake looked at me, chuckling himself.

“Don’t make fun of me, now,” he smiled. His eyes were just as red as mine.

“I won’t, it’s cute… but you know, today and yesterday, these expensive looking men came into the club.. one of them was all under Honey.”

“Really? How does he look?”

“He’s white… dark hair. Greenish eyes. Wears a suit.”

“Please tell me his name isn’t Mitchell..”

“It is, actually. Who is he?”

“This man who knew Honey when I first hired her. He wanted to invest in the club but I don’t need any investors, I can pay for whatever I need done.. but now that he’s back, things are suspicious.. now I need to investigate everything Honey’s been doing.”

“What do you mean? Why Honey?”

“That’s one of the things I needed to tell you. The truth about Honey and our history.”

"Yeah...he owns it." But it does.