#chapter notes

Step 0: Outline

Unlike the first three arcs, I thoroughly outlined this current one before I wrote it. Previously, my outlines consisted of only a few short sentences – if at all^^’ Take the first arc:

If I had died halfway through the arc, no one would have been able to finish it for me orz Absolutely nothing on the actual mission in that outline! The third arc ended up, I think, a bit disjointed too because I still hadn’t done any proper outlines at that time (I did outlines for some of its chapters, but not for the complete arc). It was mostly only a few descriptive sentences and some random snippets, all hot-glued vaguely in my mind.

With this arc, I decided to take outlining seriously because I wanted to include A LOT in this arc, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to figure out a way to make everything fit otherwise.

I write my outlines by hand because I think that’s easier to do, it’s nicer to “brainstorm” with pen and paper for me, and I can place the paper next to me as I write the chapter instead of switching documents all the time on my laptop. The paper can become rather messy though if a lot is going on. (That was the case for Nebulous, uff.) Because of the very finicky nature of the “village fight” chapters, I outlined that bit in a Word document too, so it was easier to shift around the times and events; doing that on a piece of paper would have rendered it quite illegible…

My outlines are not super extensive or lengthy though. I just fold a piece of paper, dedicate one half to one chapter, and write down bullet points of all the important things I want to/have to include in that particular chapter. I try to put them in sequence too, but it’s basically just a somewhat disjointed list of key events and nothing more.

For Locomotive Run, the list of stuff that needs/should be in it looked a bit like this:

Finding them on the train

They get Florentin back

Milton gets the box; bargain with Yvette to exchange the box for Jacques

Kamden gets attacked

Milton protects Newman by grabbing the dagger (Yvette got her hands on it before)

Cedric gets thrown off the train

Townsend and Yvette separate the locomotive from the wagons

Braking and the engine catches fire

Helping people on the train

Hurrying to the Paris train station

Chaos in Paris?!

And for Destruction, it looked a bit like this:

Chaos at the station; Quentin got hurt, and Kamden helps him

How to find Yvette and Townsend now?? -> the transmitters

Aurèle, Kamden, and Jacques go to Cecelia’s house

Cloudia goes after Yvette

Milton and Cedric go after Townsend (previously, Cedric was meant to go with Cloudia, but I thought it was better to split them up so that they could communicate via the necklaces; I also needed a POV character with Milton)

Milton and Cedric catch Townsend

Oscar arrives

Milton faints

Oscar brings Milton and Townsend to Cecelia’s house

Cedric teleports to Cloudia (with the necklaces’ help)

Chaotic fight -> Yvette stabs Cloudia

Cedric brings Cloudia to Cecelia’s house

(I cannot show pictures of the outlines, sorry!)

I keep the outlines for the flashback bits on separate papers (with the two flashback storylines kept separate too, of course) to oversee them better because they need to fit together amongst themselves after all and not with the main storyline. For Affection, they were “Barrington visits without notice and gets mad” and “Cloudia talks to Cecelia and meets up with Kamden.” For Locomotive Run, it was “Oscar’s hate for Rowan,” and for Destruction, they were “Cloudia meets with Rowan and AoE meeting -> Oscar is now more hostile to Barrington” and “Cloudia disguises herself and goes to Salisbury HQ; they meet up and talk.”

With how skeletal my outlines are, I think, if I were to die, still no one would be able to figure out what exactly I mean/want to do with my bullet points^^’ But they wouldn’t be as lost as before, at least. Hurrah?

When I have the outline, I begin to write.

Step 1: Draft

Writing the first draft can either take several days or several months for me to complete, as you know^^’ I finished Mystery in three days (draft and revision), but that was a comparatively “short” chapter. There was a gap of seven months between Ecstasy and Locomotive Run orz

Finishing the draft is important, no matter how teeth-clenching and hair-pulling it is, no matter how long it takes. I need to get it done or nothing can continue.

Reading the above bullet points, I’m sure you were a bit puzzled by some things. No worries, your memory hasn’t worsened! Things just change between each step.

For example, I (re-)outlined all chapters in one or two days. That was a few years ago by now! Going through the arc’s events in my head again and again in that time span, I get new ideas, switch things around, and discard others. And while writing the chapters, things get changed too. After all, I have no set plan for how to get from bullet point to bullet point; I just fill out the gaps as I go, and sometimes I realise that things don’t work out as I planned them while I write a chapter. Or writing the chapter just leads me elsewhere unexpectedly. Or the word count gets super long and I have to split it last-minute (e.g. Affection and Locomotive Run). Or I realise things while writing that make me have to reconsider things. Etc.

Locomotive Run is (one of) the “things didn’t work out as I wanted them to” chapters because, as I already cried in that chapter’s notes, train logistics are just awful to figure out orz That doesn’t mean nothing worked out as I wanted to (you can recognise stuff from the above outline after all), of course.

For example, the attack on Kamden was scrapped because there was no way it could fit into Locomotive Run. I would have to make him move through the train for that after all, and there were already too many people moving around, and I doubt Kamden would have even managed that. Having him attacked in the starter wagon wouldn’t work either because I needed him to be alone for that attack and for Milton to be the one who saves him in a particular way; otherwise, that incident would lose its purpose. So, I had to push it back to Destruction and have Kamden get attacked outside the train instead.

Cedric was also meant to see Milton grabbing the dagger to protect Newman, but that didn’t work out logistically either, and he could only start seeing the scene unfold at a slightly later time point (Milton attacking Yvette).

Florentin ended up not being in that chapter at all because it shouldn’t be that easy to get him or the box(es) after all! Florentin also had to stick to Townsend who was always meant to be in the locomotive; they would have never had an opportunity to get him beforehand.

The chapter was also meant to end with the characters realising that something is going on in Paris, as they were always supposed to arrive there at around 12 a.m. (the time when the Uprising started). It wouldn’t make sense for the city’s chaos to become noticeable for them that early though, and ending the chapter with “just” an explosion and a chase was enough already.

The box replica was a very last-minute idea I had while struggling through Locomotive Run’s first draft. I was a bit unsure whether to include it or not (was it too much? would it work? etc.), but I tried to make it work – and it did in the end! Without the replica, there would have been no proper reason to go after Yvette after all, as she’s not the mission’s target.

Between outlining and writing Destruction, a lot had changed. (I usually don’t bother updating my written outline then, only my “internal” one.)

I didn’t consider Cloudia’s special corset when I decided for Yvette to stab Cloudia. I wrote Ecstasy, dressed Cloudia in that corset, and went “dammit!” The corset would have protected her from a knife; to injure Cloudia as much as I wanted her to, Yvette would have to stab her from above, hitting the part that wasn’t protected by the corset. And that would have been a bit too close to Cloudia’s heart! The solution was to switch out the knife wound with a bullet wound because the corset was never meant to be bulletproof. (And that’s why I pointed just that out in the tags here, hehe.)

Cloudia’s corset is based on the titular item of The Girl with the Steel Corset. For that reason, I sometimes catch myself thinking of it as a “steel corset” when it’s not. I ensured there would be no (accidental) mention of the special corset as a steel corset, so no one could get at me with “why isn’t it bulletproof then??”

I had also finalised some stuff regarding Milton in the meantime. Because of that, it would have been near impossible for him to chase down Townsend mostly on his own. I also wanted Cloudia to be the one after all, especially with how the second part of that chase ends. Further, Milton was meant to have two radio receivers and distribute them between himself (with Cedric) and Cloudia. Unlike in the finished chapter where he can’t tell which dot is for which transmitter, he would have known which receiver was connected to which transmitter (he had handed them out after all). Purposefully giving Cloudia the receiver for Yvette while keeping Townsend for himself was also a very un-Milton thing to do. (He would have to be forced to do something like that.) Two receivers became one, and they all stayed together instead which fit the characters and the situation much better.

Barrington had to be included too, of course, as he wouldn’t leave Oscar unsupervised unless absolutely necessary.

Cedric didn’t reach Cecelia’s house with Cloudia in the end because leaving them stranded ended up being the better decision in the end.^^

Further, as I said earlier, I fill out the gaps between key events as I write. For example, the “building jump” was thrown in as I wrote the chapter. (I wrote the last uh 6k, 7k words or so of the main timeline at once because I was on a kick, so if the “building jump” part sounds a bit loopy, that’s the reason. You could call it method writing.) While this works fine for me, it also tends to run me against walls because I don’t know how to proceed.

For example, I knew that, in the 1846 flashback, Cloudia would go and see Milton in the Salisbury HQ. I wrote out that part a few years ago, actually. I didn’t, however, know beforehand what would come after Cloudia left that waiting room. I really struggled to figure out what they could talk about. Should I switch around the conversations (take something for later for this)? Or would that be an odd order?

And then I realised that I didn’t have to find a conversation after all because it felt so more fitting for Cloudia not to know either. She and Milton are both rather awkward in that aspect, and the situation is so weird after all. Of course, it would be odd! Of course, both of them wouldn’t really know what to say. And then I let them walk instead, and everything fell into place <3

I usually try writing a chapter from its beginning to its end, but I do jump between the three timelines if I find myself in a corner, unable to continue. I think, apart from starting the chapter, that conversation was the only major “blockage” I had while writing Destruction. I temporarily let it be and jumped to 1843 before I finally figured out the scene. Everything else flowed well, more or less.

When I finish the draft, I don’t usually start revisions right away. I take a day “off,” both to distance myself from the chapter to refill my energy and to think the chapter through in my head again. “Does this work?” “What can I change?” etc.

Step 2: First revision

The draft is always written with a “just get something done!!” mentality (though I do keep going back and revising after myself too). As a result, it will be rather jumbled and is never ready to be uploaded in that state. For example, I sometimes change ideas mid-draft or remember something I forgot mid-draft. I forgot to make Cloudia lose the dagger in the first draft of Locomotive Run. Still, she didn’t have it in the last parts of the chapter because I remembered halfway through that she wasn’t supposed to have it anymore and just kept writing without the dagger. I had to fix that mistake in the first revision round, or it would have been very confusing why she has it in one scene and not anymore in the next.

The checklist for first revisions is (more or less):

Fixing continuity errors within the chapter

Fixing continuity errors within the entire story

Cleaning up and correcting fickle things like time designations and character positioning

Looking up the correct terms for things

Some more research and contingent fixes

(Rewriting sentences to make them “nicer,” clearer, etc.)

Incorporating things I forgot and things I thought about later on

Some more research and contingent fixes

Of course, I do some research before I start writing a chapter, but, as I noted in Destruction's extended endnotes, sometimes it's better to look into stuff again for retouches.

For Destruction's 1846 flashback, I made a little "cheat sheet" of mourning customs a few years ago, and I was very happy to finally be able to pull it out and use it!

(I'm, however, not quite sure about the "social customs count for men too, even if 'clothes' customs are not the same!" thing, as men just had to follow very few rules in comparison. The first bullet point for men even says "not many rules." Sites also sometimes give varying information, so that's that too.)

I didn't do any further research on mourning as a result.

What I did last-minute research on was Cloudia's wound. My search history didn't look good that day.

In the draft, the bullet didn't pass through Cloudia but got stuck. After looking up things, I learned that you can survive a gunshot to the abdomen better if you a) get treated quickly (*cough*), b) don't have the bullet inside you, as infections are more problematic than blood loss. (And it's not like Cedric knows how to/can remove the bullet.)

(I have to add here that I am, for whatever reason, super squirmish when it comes to researching such things. My mind can handle it, but my body physically rejects me reading/watching/hearing about anything medical (in detail). E.g., I can watch some serial killer cut open a body without a problem, but I cannot watch a doctor cut open a person in a nice, clean hospital setting. It's very annoying orz (The video I linked in the Locomotive Run endnotes was a rough watch already for me.)

So if you ever wondered why Milton's hereditary heart problem is kept as vaguely as it is, that's part of the reason. I can't do much research into it before my body just says "NO." His heart problem isn't an issue anyway...)

So after doing some faint research on that topic, I rewrote that part too.

I also looked up again if you can walk atop a moving train. Yes, but the wind makes things difficult. (Milton has, amongst others, some weird practice though...)

Incorporating things I forgot and things I thought about later on

For the last part of the above list, I write a little list of everything I need/want to fix in the revision. Here are the lists for Locomotive Run and Destruction (which ended up, conveniently, on the same page, yey; and there are no spoiler things too!).

As you can see, the notes include

little details I had to change (e.g. “Milton removes belt” -> it would have been odd if Yvette had accepted him with it)

more major rewrites (e.g. Aurèle’s wound; the first fired bullet of the chapter initially did not hit anyone. It would not make any sense for Aurèle to just stay behind when his brother was in danger, and he was meant to move through the train too, albeit starting a bit later than the others like Newman. However, Aurèle was just one character too many on that train, so I had to have him get shot to have a reason why he couldn’t move through the train. Shot for my convenience, sorry!)

and things that didn’t make it into the chapter after all (e.g. “Q says Y took his gun” -> Yvette was initially set to steal Quentin’s gun and shoot Cloudia with it later on; I only forgot for Quentin to tell everyone about the theft (he only tried to say it but kept getting cut off) and, thus, noted down to insert it later. While writing the chapter, however, Yvette grabbing Cloudia’s gun instead felt more natural, so I scrapped the gun theft and removed the traces of that idea during the revision).

Some more explanations of the bullet points:

In Locomotive Run, Cedric initially witnessed the box ruse with Milton and Yvette through an intact door/window. I thought the door would be thin enough for him to be able to hear enough, but I later changed my mind. It would have been too silly, so I shattered the window to make things more probable.

(I also read a book last year that had people eavesdrop through a closed door and still be able to hear every word perfectly clearly (and even see the talking parties’ motions in detail). The people they were eavesdropping on were not even standing in front of the door but several metres away! I didn't want to do that same stuff myself. The least a shit book can do is make you hate something so much, you avoid doing the same dumb thing with your own writing.)

In Destruction, there were French Reapers in the first draft already. The note is only there to remind me to make Cedric think of them a bit more; I ended up inserting that bit when he and Milton have their little “pause.”

Cloudia entered the bakery and saw the sweet bread in the first draft too. I was unsure whether she should give one to Cedric (I had two variants: She either runs back into the bakery when they stand outside to grab one, or she takes one when she’s in the bakery for the first (and only) time), but ultimately decided to do it.

The dagger fell to the ground when Yvette got away. I forgot to make Cedric pick it up in the first draft and fixed that later on; the dagger would have been lost (forever) otherwise!

Further, I had to fix all time designations in the 1846 Destruction flashback to make them make sense; while writing I just threw in some numbers without care. (As I mentioned the Hanged Men Case all the way back in Captured already, I had to make sure I kept that case at its length of exactly 15 days. (Why tf was I so specific back then??? orz) So, Cloudia is going to finish that case not long after the walk :))

That was rather easy to do, unlike the time designations in Locomotive Run.

After all, that chapter still had “the countdown”!

I wrote the draft uncaring about the times but then scrambled to fix the times in the revision. In the draft, Cloudia and Cedric talk through the necklaces right after Cloudia kills the woman who knocked on the compartment doors. He would then inform her about Yvette having the box, and she would get surprised when she sees Townsend with a box too. When I went to fix the times, I realised that the box ruse would have to happen at the exact same time as Cloudia reaching the woman. Thus, I had to remove that conversation, and Cloudia now wouldn’t find out about the two boxes until Destruction.

I also made a little drawing of the train to keep track of everyone’s movements on it orz The train initially had one locomotive and nine wagons, but I ended up cutting one wagon because I couldn’t take it anymore. (Nothing happened in it anyway!) I didn’t even want to have that many wagons; it just ended up like that while writing. This wasn't supposed to be a literal Mugen Train after all.

(The last version of that little drawing. The previous ones are all horribly messy.)

Lastly, while going through the first round of revision, I write a list of every POV switch (or major scene breaks within one POV) with a few notes on what happens in that part to get a better overview/to keep better track of everything. I then tick off the parts I finished editing while going through the first and second rounds of revisions.

I usually don’t realise how often the POVs change as I write. Locomotive Run is segmented into 17 parts, and Destruction into 16. That “segment” list was especially helpful for Mimes with the many timeline switches!

They are usually kept neatly like Destruction's:

And then there’s Locomotive Run’s. It was a tough chapter.

Step 3: Another round of revisions

This round of revisions is mainly to fix the chapter on a more “surface” level. I usually don’t add more scenes (unless I think of something very last-minute, or still forgot something important) in this round; instead, I concentrate on fixing up the sentences.

I take my time with the first big revision round because, usually, a lot needs to be fixed, added, cleaned up, etc. in that part and I want to be thorough. For the second (and final) round of revisions, I try to get through the chapter in a short time span, one or two days, so that I can catch smaller continuity mistakes or word repetitions more easily. If I took longer, it’s more likely that I forget that a character said X on page 1 and then said a contradictory Y on page 20 or so. If I do it back-to-back, it’s all fresh in my mind. (That makes this round also rather tedious because my chapters are so long orz but it’s better to do it that way, for me.)

I cut up longer sentences into smaller ones too, and change wordings to make things clearer. In Ecstasy, when Milton speaks about finding Townsend's Paris base, the one cooperative henchman didn't have a name at first, but as there were so many nameless people involved in Milton's recounting, I randomly named him "Miller" to make things clearer/easier to read.

I also tend to use the same sentence structures (a lot of “but” sentences, a lot starting with “And,” etc.) and I try to clean that up with more variety. Or use the same phrasings (especially for things like Milton fidgeting/fumbling/playing with/tugging on/etc. his sleeves). Or the same words (after using coach and wagon a lot in Locomotive Run, I remembered it can be called a “carriage” too, so I mixed that into the text too; you can also see some of my thesaurus lists in the Locomotive Run segment list above!). I’m also extra vigilant about typos in this revision round.

Sometimes when I have already stared at sentences and fixed them up a lot while drafting (as, when I hit a wall and don’t know how to continue, I begin at the start of the passage/chapter again and work my way through it; I edited the first two wagon bits in Locomotive Run too many times to count) and during first revisions, I forgo this second round.

Step 4: Finishing up

After all edits are done, I turn on Grammarly (I just use the free version), and Grammarly treats me like an idiot with me messing up prepositions and whatnot. It also helps catch some more typos.

And when the Grammarly check-up is done, I remember I haven’t made a terrible cover yet, so I die a little inside (“Why tf did I even decide to do this in the first place???”) and open up Gimp to massacre some image. And then I upload the chapter everywhere.

And the next day, or even some hours later, I realise some mistake and fix that quietly, cough.

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Bonus: Initial versions and deleted scenes

Cloudia and Cedric’s removed conversation in Locomotive Run

~Cloudia~

Commotion, commotion, commotion.

Each wagon was a chaotic wreck, and Cloudia was tired of pushing and shoving her way through the masses and narrow corridors. Thus, when she finally spotted the woman who had caused all that, Cloudia wished she still had the dagger and didn’t have to cut her throat with an ordinary knife.

At least, when the woman spotted her, she turned in panic and tried to run, only to be held back by passengers.

She only reached the door when Cloudia slammed her against it, holding the cold blade against her neck. “Interesting, isn’t it? How things can turn out to be,” whispered Cloudia into her ear, first in French, then in English for good measure, before she slid the knife across her throat like a violinist drew a bow along the strings of their instrument. Instead of a melody, her action only coaxed gasped and screams out of the passengers who tried to pry her off the woman.

“Murderer, murderer, murderer,” they called her. Cloudia simply yanked herself free from their grips, wiped the knife on her clothes, and moved on to the next coach. The repetition followed her, and Cloudia thought as she was mid-air between wagons, that it might have been a melody if not for the other expletives thrown into the chant.

However, as soon as Cloudia’s boots touched the metal platform did the thought vanish from her mind, did the adrenaline from killing the woman deplete. All her energy and attention were taken away by a little voice in her head.

Yvette is making her way to you.

Cloudia was glad that she was already standing on the platform; she feared she might have slipped otherwise.

Or, rather, she is making her way to the front of the train, Cedric continued as Cloudia pulled her own skull pendant from behind her clothes. Jacques is safe.

Are you? Cloudia wanted to ask but then did not, the question too superfluous; of course, he was. What happened? she enquired instead.

It’s a long story; I will tell it later. I’m heading to the front too. Alfred is with Jacques, do not worry.

I’m nearly at the front; I only have two more wagons to go. Is there anything else you want to tell me?

Yes. Maxime is handcuffed and unconscious, so you won’t run into him. And Yvette has the Queen’s box.

Cloudia stopped in her tracks. Someone collided with her and cursed at her, but she did not pay him any attention, and he quickly recoiled upon seeing the blood on her clothes. What do you mean Yvette has the box?

I saw the thing with my own eyes. I’m sorry that we could not secure it. It was rather messy here.

But why should she have it in the first place? Why not Townsend? Did they decide to give it to her because we would think he would have it, and not she?

That’s possible.

Cloudia resumed her track through the coach, shaking off the man who had collided with her earlier as he demanded to know what was going on and where the blood came from in the process. One nuisance was, at least, more bearable than what she had to deal with earlier. As the woman hadn’t reached this wagon and the ones beyond yet, the chaos had not seeped into this area of the train yet.

Is there anything you want to tell me? Cedric’s voice echoed in her ear just as Cloudia shooed the man back into his cabin. She halted again upon hearing his question, and for a moment, a hundred replies floated through her mind like pesky flies before she waved them all away and simply thought. Take care. See you soon.

***

~Cedric~

Take care too, Cedric replied and stuffed the pendant back into his shirt. “Are you done here, Milton?” he then asked aloud. Since they had left Jacques and Newman behind, they had managed to cross a wagon and were about to jump to their third.

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Snippet 90

As you can see from the number of the snippet, this one is quite old! (I currently have 411 snippets in my collection.) I had this idea many, many years ago. This snippet simply records that idea; there was no proper context or time slated for it when I wrote it. I thought one day “oh, wouldn’t that be fun?” and jotted this down. The third character mentioned is, thus, just some placeholder and no one in particular. I then had to edit it to make it fit into Destruction and look up some things from the third chapter in the process. Most of the snippet remained as it is which isn’t always the case.

“Do not dare!”

A second before Cedric had been able to mangle him, Cloudia had thrown herself between them, spreading her arms to shield him from Cedric.

Cedric stopped, not wanting to hurt Cloudia who was barely able to stand. She was gasping for air and this reckless action had cost her the rest of her energy.

“You promised me it,” Cloudia struggled to say, and something inside of Cedric shattered and the rest of his blood-thirst vanished.  He really did not want to know what had happened if he had not been able to stop in the right moment, if he had been blinded so much by his thirst of blood that he had attacked Cloudia, of all people, in his frenzy.

“You...,” she began, but then, she coughed and tumbled, fainting. Instinctively, Cedric moved forward and caught her in his arms, her body so thin and fragile in his arms. He closed his eyes and kissed her on the head.

What had I done?